Chapter 10

Li Rong sank into a deep sleep, unaware of the time or when the rain would stop. The next time he regained consciousness, Su Si called out in his ear, "Young Master, Young Master," over and over again. He struggled awake, exhausted even more than before, and vaguely felt a bit warm, but chalked it up to standing for so long these past few days.

He let Su Si help him put on his outer robe and headband. The couch was only slightly warm. Then he remembered asking his servant, "Have you seen Xue Zhuozhi?" Su Si replied, "Master Xue got up early this morning. He was just sorting his bookcases, and now he's eating the freshly cooked broth."

Li Rong quickly washed and washed, then had breakfast after them. He inevitably stepped into the mud as he opened the straw curtains. The clouds had dispersed, and the sun had risen. It was surprisingly warmer than the previous few days. Xue Heng was traveling with them, all heading back to Linyi. So the three of them cleaned the hut together, then, under the warm sunlight, bowed three times in front of it as a farewell to the deceased master.

Xue Heng insisted on carrying the bookcase himself, while Li Rong and Su Si only packed their bags and took them with them. The wooden door was closed again, the wet marks from the rain still lingering on it, and everything was shrouded in silence. Perhaps they would never set foot here again, or perhaps someone like them would come and leave. Only the tightly closed wooden door remained, open for passersby to rest, but the chance was slim. Every spring breeze, every autumn rain, passed by in a flash, and many more years passed...

Li Rong only glanced back at the tightly closed wooden door for one last time, as if it had never been opened in his memory. Only Xue Heng's presence beside him hinted at the heavy rain and the night's stay. The mountain path was still muddy, and he took the branch Su Si had broken for him as a crutch and made his way up. The winding path was covered with dead branches and leaves, and Xue Heng remained silent as he made his way up the mountain.

He eased his fatigue, feeling the pain anew with every step, and silently ascended to the summit and descended again. Midday sunlight streamed through the rain-soaked forest, and the sound of birdsong filled the air. They rested for a moment, and Li Rong gazed again at the receding thatched cottage and a few houses, remembering the loss of not having found the one who understood the Way. It's not that he didn't understand the principle that a gentleman should never think beyond his station, but after all his travels, he still hadn't found his proper place, the path he should follow, or the Way he had learned. Finally, he swallowed a long sigh and walked with them back to Linyi.

The path down the mountain, though muddy, was much easier to navigate than the path leading up. Su Si offered to help Xue Heng carry the bookcase for part of the journey, but he waved him off. So, he returned to Li Rong's side and supported his young master. After a night's sleep, his fatigue only intensified. He relied on Su Si to make the journey back to Linyi. The three of them remained silent, simply hurrying on.

The noise of people bustling about was deafening. When Li Rong looked up again, he saw the words "Linyi" carved above the city gate. They had already arrived in Linyi, and it was natural for them to say goodbye to Xue Heng. Just as he was about to clasp his sleeves and bow, Xue Heng bowed first. "I have to hand over the scroll to someone else first. Ziqu has been working hard these past few days and deserves more rest. Although we met by chance, I appreciate your help. If you're not in a hurry to leave, we can meet at the teahouse tomorrow night to talk."

Li Rong also bowed and agreed to this matter, "Zhuzhi has to take care of important matters first. Su Si and I plan to stay in Linyi for a while longer, and we will wait for Zhuzhi tomorrow night." They parted at the city gate, each heading south and north. Su Si was more sensible and designated a teahouse not far from the inn to talk to Xue Heng, and then said goodbye.

Li Rong stood quietly, watching Xue Heng walk away with his bookcase on his back, his figure disappearing at the end of the long street. "What are you looking at, sir? Are you feeling sorry for the old master's books? I think so too. The old master is really a strange person." Su Si asked in confusion. "Teaching is all about spreading the truth. He wrote so many books but was unwilling to pass them on to future generations. How strange."

Only then did he let out a sigh, letting out a lament. "Don't judge others. Those who cultivate will cultivate, those who despise will overthrow. Your actions, sir, are a testament to the virtues of a gentleman. Even if it's a pity, they are all the more respectable. The Tao is natural, and you can't force a partial understanding by seeking teachers or friends." Su Si simply said he didn't know, and left it entirely to the young master to decide.

Li Rong, supported by Su Si, entered his room and had a servant bring in some water. He then bathed thoroughly, changed into fresh clothes, and lay back on the couch. The stiffness of standing still for two or three days and the fatigue of walking had brought on a relentless drowsiness. He closed his eyes, his own long sigh still ringing in his ears. He forced himself to understand only a fraction of the meaning behind the master's burial of the book, but he couldn't help but feel that it was a regret for himself.

Though countless paths shrouded the universe, the path he sought remained elusive. His search for a teacher was now on hold, and he was once again lost in the uncertainty of where to go. Moreover, he had already arrived in Linyi, nearly halfway through his study tour. The hazy feeling remained, guiding him forward, but he never knew where the path lay.

Li Rong fell asleep, exhausted, lost in a dream filled with questions. He dreamed of a torrential downpour, soaking the mountain forests and turning the paths muddy from the cascading water. He held an umbrella and gazed at the mountaintop, unsure of his next move. It seemed he could only stand there, waiting for the dream's heavy rain to subside, for a path trodden by others to emerge.

He slept through the night, his fatigue completely gone. Outside the window, the crimson sun had replaced a crescent moon, hanging in the sky. The people were still bustling about. Su Si had only knocked on the door in the early morning, but when his young master didn't respond, he let him rest for a few more hours. At noon, he came in with food and gently woke the man on the couch.

Li Rong emerged from his slumber and washed carefully, still feeling aches and pains. He covered his sleeve with his hands and coughed twice, then finally noticed the time on the clepsydra clock. He sighed, realizing his own laziness, and ate with Su Si. It was still more than an hour before his scheduled meeting with Xue Heng, and the wind in Linyi, after the autumn rain, was even more bitingly cold.

Li Rong took Su Si to the city's clothing shops to pick out robes and cloaks for late autumn and early winter. During the coldest times south of the Yangtze River, they only needed an extra robe to keep warm. The occasional winter rains only chilled them to the bone, but when the weather cleared, they felt much warmer. Linyi, being close to the north, was already experiencing the first signs of cold. Cotton robes and cloaks were novelties to them, so they took an unusually long time to find.

Su Si, not being picky about these things, chose a color that wouldn't easily stain and then came over to help Li Rong choose a style. The shopkeeper, delighted by this big business, recommended a newly made cloak. Li Rong had originally chosen a dark blue cloak to try on, but Su Si immediately took a liking to the one made from white fox fur. "Young Master, you're prone to colds. I wonder how much colder Chang'an winters are than Jiangnan. It's always a good idea to dress warmly." Li Rong looked at the fur, which was warm and smooth. However, considering it would be difficult to carry during their long journey, he declined and chose a moon-white cloak instead, paying the deposit.

He asked the shopkeeper about the time, and since he might not have enough time to go back and forth, he decided to go directly to the appointment. He gave the outer robe and cloak he had ordered to the waiter to be delivered to the inn. Li Rong and Su Si walked out of the shop and headed towards the teahouse. The setting sun had just reached the distant mountainside, and the rays of light scattered across the horizon that they could see, shining brightly. The teahouse was filled with caravans and students dressed as scholars. Xue Heng arrived earlier and found a seat by the window, drinking tea with a cup in hand. "Master Xue, I've been waiting for a long time." Su Si saw the person sitting by the window and pointed to his son.

Li Rong bowed and apologized before taking a seat across from Su Si, leaving him to find a restaurant elsewhere to order some food. "Zi Qu, this is your first time in Linyi. I wonder if you've tried the local tea?" Li Rong replied, having drunk some hot tea. It was a bit more astringent than the tea he'd been drinking in Jiangnan. "It's mellow with a bitter taste. To be more specific, it's not as good as the new tea from Jiangdu, Jinling, and other places."

Xue Heng chuckled and said yes, then asked about Li Rong's travels to study and search for a teacher. "The other day, I was crossing the mountain with an umbrella, and just now I remembered what Zi Qu said about searching for a teacher. I don't know the story yet."

Li Rong also answered Xue Heng's question, "I originally heard a few students discussing the classics and the Dao in Xuzhou, so I went up to them and asked where the new Dao came from. Someone pointed out the place where the teacher was giving lectures, so I came to find a teacher, but I didn't expect to be a step too late."

Xue Heng refilled the two of them with tea and said, "Ziqu has experienced a lot along the way. It was just the teacher's last wish. The person who entrusted me with the task is also going to re-edit the books, perhaps with the intention of transcribing them. When I have sorted out all the books next year, I should be able to persuade him to send you a few bamboo slips."

Li Rong wanted to bow again to express his gratitude, but Xue Heng stopped him with a wave of his hand. "It's just a small token of my gratitude. I hope it can help Ziqu. Where are you going, Ziqu?"

"Coming from the south of the Yangtze River, I want to go to Chang'an. What are your thoughts?" Xue Heng was just saying. "I've also agreed with my teacher that now that I'm old enough, I should travel and study and experience the world. I wonder if it would be convenient for me to go with Ziqu?"

Li Rong responded with a smile, "Then I am destined to be with Zhuozhi." The two of them drank together. As the sky gradually darkened, the lights in the city were also lit. The waiters lit the oil lamps on the tea tables one by one to make it easier for the guests to see.

Xue Heng continued, "What doctrine does Ziqu want to discuss?" Li Rong, after hearing this half-question, paused for a moment before explaining, "There are many doctrines in the world, and there are hundreds of schools of thought. Ziqu is a shallow person. First, he discusses the doctrine of being an official and governing, and second, the doctrine of self-cultivation. If one can achieve these three, then one will be able to practice the benevolent doctrine of a gentleman."

Xue Heng naturally took over the conversation, "Well, I have some humble opinions today. I wonder if Ziqu has time to discuss this with me."

"Today is fine, I can express my profound views."

"Zi Qu, what do you think of governing?" Xue Heng asked first, and Li Rong responded later, "Governing with virtue is like the North Star, which stays in its place and is surrounded by other stars. This is the way of a ruler. As for rulers and ministers, I think that if the lower ones govern with politics and unify with benefits, some people may escape punishment but lack shame. If the higher ones follow the teachings of the sages, they should govern with virtue and unify with propriety, so that they will have shame and be upright. But their talents are shallow and they are not up to the task of great responsibility."

"If one is not generous when in a superior position, he will be disrespectful when performing rituals." Xue Heng replied with an ancient saying, "A gentleman in the world has no preference and no objection. When it comes to righteousness, Zi Qu, do not worry too much. Haven't you heard that a gentleman does not worry about being unknown, but seeks to be known?" [1]

[1] These are from the Analects of Confucius: On Government, Eight Pieces of Music, and Benevolence in the Village. The first discusses the governance of a monarch, and the second discusses the governance of a gentleman. In response to the monarch's violation of propriety, the gentleman believes that there is nothing he cannot do in the world, and nothing he cannot do. He can do it by following righteousness. The last sentence is completed as, "Don't worry about not having a position, worry about how to get there. Don't worry about not being known, seek to be known." One should only worry about being incompetent but in a position, but not worry about not being known. One should strive to make others know. This is a consolation that there will always be a day when someone in the world will not know the monarch.