Chapter 23

A'niang and Su Si had probably traveled day and night, and by the time Li Rong received the letter, less than ten days had passed before they had already arrived in Gusu. Su Si's handwriting hadn't improved much in recent years. He smiled as he finished reading the nonsensical letters. Father needed to rest for six months, so A'niang and Su Si would probably stay in Gusu the entire time.

Li Rong flipped open the account book that had been sent along with the package, intending to personally deliver it to the shop on Chang Street, where he also gave the shopkeeper some instructions. He covered his sleeves to endure a violent coughing fit, then ordered a servant to send for a doctor to take his pulse again.

The ferry boats were parked on the riverbank. Mid-spring was approaching, and the long streets seemed less crowded than usual. Occasionally, a butterfly would land on a flower peeked out from the wall, and children would squat by the wall, watching the pink and yellow petals flitting alongside the butterflies. There was a long line at the clinic. Li Rong glanced past it before returning to his shop, handing the account book to the manager to review his father's instructions. He coughed, covering his lip, and a small pool of blood appeared on his handkerchief.

Li Rong went back home and drank two cups of hot tea, but the violent coughing could not be relieved. He did not care about his disheveled hairband and waited for the doctor to come and take his pulse again. His chest seemed to be blocked by something, and his breathing was difficult. At noon, he felt a little cold. He described in detail the symptoms he had experienced after stopping the medication in the past few days. The new doctor found by the servants frowned. After taking the pulse on both wrists, he stood up and bowed, "I'm afraid... the young master may have contracted the epidemic disease recently. Now I can only prescribe a cold medicine for you to rest. As for the funeral..." The doctor shook his head and did not swallow the rest of his words, "Young master, remember to keep away from outsiders. The clinic has been crowded with people who have contracted the disease recently. I'm afraid that the whole city will be..."

Li Rong listened to the doctor's instructions and prescribed the same medicine as the one the doctor had given a few days before. He followed his instructions and instructed his servants to isolate him, eating and resting inside. Li Rong sat quietly at the table, feeling increasingly drowsy. The last time he heard of an epidemic was from his father, and that was many years ago. Now that it was his turn, he understood the doctor's unspoken words and hoped the medicine would bring some relief.

Li Rong took off his outer robe and lay on the couch, coughing all night long, changing the white handkerchief beside his bed again and again. He closed his eyes but could not fall asleep. He could no longer dream of the past, of the tranquility of Jiangnan, of Xuzhou and Linyi, of Chang'an and his old friends there, or of A Niang and the others.

Li Rong pushed open the door, bracing himself to drink the fresh medicine the servants had prepared. It was hot, yet bitter in the mouth, a sour aftertaste lingering between his lips and teeth. He coughed again, covering his sleeve with his hands, then stared blankly at the blood he had vomited. Then, a vague thought struck him... As the doctor had said, there was probably only time left to prepare for his funeral.

He opened the wooden box containing the silver and money and instructed the servants to bring the medicine stove and the packaged herbs into the house. He dismissed everyone according to this month's wages, plus some travel expenses, and only asked the steward to take out some more silver and pack it up, "Remember to give this to the Jiang family's shop... Tell them that they are worried about the epidemic in the city, and want Miss Jiang to go to Gusu to get married." Li Rong continued to cough for a long time before catching his breath. He handed the account books that my father needed and my mother's usual things to the steward and mailed them from the shop. "Tell the shop assistants... Tell them not to return to Luzhou this year, and go directly to Gusu to find my father. Say that I am unfilial. If I don't hear from Luzhou anymore, I will adopt Su Si as my adopted son as a consolation."

He watched the steward slowly walk away, dragging himself to close the door. Li Rong wiped the blood from his coughed lips, and glanced at the long street. There were no more people bustling around, and he only hoped

He hoped his plans would be in time...at least to get to his father and mother. He sat by the pavilion, counting the days, rarely coming out to see the sun hanging high in the sky.

The spring light shone through the courtyard, and white butterflies fluttered around the flowers. He closed his eyes and let himself drift off. The sunlight touched him, bringing a long-lost warmth. He poured himself a cup of cold tea to soothe his breath. He couldn't tell how much time he had left, and there was no need to consult a doctor again. Better to hear fewer sighs before he died.

Li Rong lay sprawled on the stone table, no longer needing to worry about formalities. He closed his eyes wearily, quietly waiting, waiting for his days to slowly pass. Perhaps he wouldn't make it through this night, but perhaps he could make it through a few more.

A silent sigh escaped his lips, drifting in the air and dissipating with the wind. I wonder if Father's leg injury has healed, or if Mother and Su Si have been overworked running the shop lately. As for the rest, the red maples in Gusu should be green by spring.

He thought about it carefully, and laughed at himself for not knowing what spring in Jiangnan was like. Because his chest felt tight and he couldn't breathe, he continued to cough, catching the dirty blood on his white handkerchief. He looked at the blooming flowers in the garden. The riot of color was indeed a beautiful sight, but it was a pity that his mother might not be able to see them again this year.

He closed his eyes, feeling his mind grow increasingly hazy. He only hoped it wasn't too late, that the Jiang family's daughter could make it safely to Gusu, having already arranged her marriage to Su Si. By early summer, his father's leg injury would have healed, and then, as Mother had promised, they could choose an auspicious date for the couple's wedding.

He had only seen the newly-cut clothes; he had no idea which one A Niang and Su Si had finally settled on. The waters of Jiangnan flowed around the city, and Su Si had to learn to ride a horse. Donning a red robe, he greeted his beloved on horseback, bowing three times before finally marrying. Li Rong could barely utter a sigh, but he regretted not having the chance to see Su Si's wedding. His previous flirtations had been wishful thinking. Fortunately, he had bought him a folding fan as a gift. He hoped his servant wouldn't blame him too much.

With the joy of Su Si's marriage, perhaps A Niang wouldn't have been so ill. With Father's presence, A Niang wouldn't have wept so much. Perhaps, given the fate of life and death, A Niang and Su Si had left early, avoiding the city's plague. As for myself, my life's regrets are mostly for myself, for not being able to fulfill my filial duties to Father and A Niang.

As the time went by, Xue Heng should have settled down in Chang'an. He no longer pondered the reasons for this, only the thought that he would never receive a letter from Xue Heng, nor would he have the chance to greet him by his new courtesy name. Xue Heng and Xue Congzhi would never again sit across from each other, drink a pot of warm wine, and discuss the great principles of the world and the affairs of government.

Li Rong's vision darkened as he recalled the heavy snowfall in Chang'an. The snow, like poplar catkins, fell silently across the city. He could still recall his own wonder and the long, lost consciousness he felt standing there in the snow. He laughed out loud, remembering that night when he had insisted on pointing at Xue Heng and saying that Zhuozhi was drunk, not realizing that he had been completely intoxicated first.

A sense of loss washed over him. He feared he would be the first to break his promise to Xue Heng. He couldn't make it through this Luzhou spring. It was like this year after year, and he no longer had the energy to write to anyone, unable to tell Xue Heng about his broken promise. He only hoped that even a fraction of the farewell wishes from Shu County during their drinks that day could be reciprocated by Xue Heng. Even if even a fraction could, that would be wonderful.

He lay sprawled in the pavilion, letting the breeze rustle his scattered black hair. A long moment passed, until his sleeves were stained with blood from coughing. Finally, he rose, leaning on a wooden pillar, and walked to his bedroom. The sun had not yet set over the city walls, but the crimson sky filled with the vibrant glow of spring.

He truly had no strength left. He knelt beside the couch, quilt clutched in his fingertips, and quietly closed his eyes, letting the blood flow from his lips, dripping drop by drop onto the floor. It had been ages since the last incense was lit in the room, and the scent that A-niang had replaced it with was one he particularly liked. The light floral fragrance was as gentle as a spring day in Luzhou.

Li Rong coughed continuously, his head lowered as he leaned against the couch, losing the last vestiges of warmth. Young swallows had returned to their nests by the eaves, occasionally chirping as they fed their young. He felt sorry for himself, regretting that he hadn't had the chance to carefully review the classics Xue Heng had handwritten for him, that he hadn't had the time to read the novel and insightful arguments of the teacher he had once sought to learn from.

The path he'd spent half his life in turmoil, bewilderment, and uncertainty had completely vanished from his mind. The path he had yet to embark on, the unresolved questions, the helpless, at-a-glance pleas and wails, all faded before his ears. He thought again of the old woman's cloudy eyes, distracted by wondering if she had seen her young son, if the government had released grain, and if the people of Yingchuan had survived the heavy snow at the end of the year, until spring filled the gardens and wild geese flew north.

A spring breeze caressed the bent flowers, and scattered petals fell into the muddy grass. He closed his eyes, reflecting on the path he had already taken. The tranquility of Jiangnan was magnificent, free from disease and famine. The red maples of Gusu would return, and the redwoods of Jinling would be built into new pavilions. Xuzhou's simplicity was magnificent, with scholars discussing philosophy in teahouses and the flow of people in an orderly manner. Chang'an's peace and comfort were also magnificent. The merchants who came and went, the high officials who stayed at home for a long time, had witnessed Chang'an's repeated snowfalls and could also see the beauty of spring. It was a city whose lights at night were as bright as day, the capital of the later Shang Dynasty.

Xue Heng, Xue Congzhi, is in Chang'an. Given his talent and learning, it wouldn't be too much to make him a marquis or a prime minister. It's just that I can no longer see his former glory. I can only wish him all the best from afar, that he will get what he wants, and that he should follow his heart rather than the world.

I don’t think I have ever told my father about the path I have chosen, and there is no chance now. I just hope that my father’s leg injury can heal and that he can be as healthy as before.

Su Si…is as close as a brother to me. He's been by my side for many years, and he's endured many hardships during my travels. Now that he's married, it wouldn't be a shame to see him with a family. It's just that I won't be able to get a glass of wedding wine from Chu Xia, nor will I be able to deliver a congratulatory speech at the wedding banquet. I hope my servant doesn't mind.

Mother... He thought of the red corners of her eyes and wanted to catch her tears, to tell her that he was unfilial and couldn't stay with her for long. He hoped that Mother wouldn't cry herself blind, that she could recuperate in Jiangnan. The peace and tranquility of Jiangnan would be just as he had described in his letter. He hoped that Mother would feel happy about it, and then his words wouldn't count.

Li Rong's fingertips drooped, and the black blood he coughed up stained the quilt red. Night gradually fell in Luzhou. A full moon hung high in the sky, no clouds obscuring it tonight. The long streets grew quiet, illuminated only by the lights that streamed through the streets, waiting for those returning, and those who never returned—a warmth washed over him. Another month would bring late spring, and Luzhou would soon be entering summer...

End of Volume 2.