Chapter 91: Night 7 of 15

Chu Wang Fang Jian,

Long have we communicated, and I've always thought of you. I'm writing this letter now, and you might find it hard to imagine that this is just one of countless letters I've exchanged day and night. I once wanted to save them all, to give them to you when I see you. However, every word is filled with thoughts of you. My desire to see you has aged before this letter even reaches you. If you read this letter, it will only add to your troubles, and will do you no good.

Today is a moonlit night. I have been thinking about it and just want to let you know that when I think of you, you are walking under the bright sky; whether I love him with the bright moon or with his haggard face, it has nothing to do with you.

I am hoping to receive your reply. I will take this with me. Please do not hesitate to reply.

Respectfully submitted by Yan Sang

March 9, 1928

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Sincerely, Chu Wang,

I've received several letters, and I'm deeply sorry for being tied up with such trivial matters. I often carry many letters with me, and I'm tempted to post one whenever I see a mailbox, always thinking that one will escape the scrutiny and reach the Far East. But if I send a letter and never receive a reply, I might think you've read every one of them, but I don't know what made you unhappy, and it's not worth a reply at all.

A while ago, my good friend from school, Dr. Chen, brought his wife to England from his hometown. Rumors abounded in the overseas Chinese community that his wife was ten years older than him and that they resembled mother and son. It was also said that his wife grew up in rural Hunan, had bound feet, and had never been to school. Having been close friends with him, I knew all these rumors were false. Ms. Chen, a year his senior, had bound feet, but he often wrote to his mother-in-law, urging her to have them freed. Although he had never been to school, he frequently wrote to encourage her to attend a girls' school. Despite the disparity in talent and learning, and despite being separated by more than a decade, Mr. Chen never stopped writing to her. I truly admire him. Therefore, I often wonder, if when I first came to see you at the Lin residence in Shaoxing, I had not heard your cleverness in composing five-character quatrains with your physics and chemistry subjects, nor had I seen your inconsistent rhymes and later grand poems; if you had vulgar manners, poor understanding of poetry and etiquette, dull appearance, and a pair of small feet that are hard to describe, would I still make the same choice?

Therefore, fortunately, you finally came out of the room to see me, and finally let me know that the person who will accompany me until the end of my life is you.

Yan Sang's hands are solemn

May 23, 1928

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Chu hopes to learn from you,

After a long time of separation, I miss you very much.

I saw you today. Besides me, many others saw you. I used to wonder when our names would be published in the newspapers, side by side, so that everyone would know that Mr. Si's wife was the third daughter of the Lin family. This once inspired me, but now I know I was completely wrong. You have finally revealed to the world that the third daughter of the Lin family in the Far East possesses such lofty wisdom, rivaling even the many men here who boast of their superior talents.

My father disliked my literary pursuits since I was young. We couldn't exchange letters often. After I started at Oxford, I'd travel several times a week to Cambridge, a village known for its many poets and scholars, to have my letters edited and taught me how to write. Initially, it was because of you, but later, I became obsessed with it. Since we parted in Shanghai, I've harbored so much resentment towards you and your mother that I've wanted to use my pen to finally have my feelings published in books, journals, and newspapers. With my modest success, I've become complacent and have almost completely abandoned my Oxford geology degree. Meanwhile, you've quietly surpassed me in another field, achieving so much in silence that it truly shames me. I've never truly gotten to know you. Is it too late to get to know you again?

Miss Lin San, I have long admired your talent, and now I am writing to you with the audacity to seek your guidance.

I respectfully express my sincere gratitude, and please don't bother replying.

Sang Fuqi Fuyu

July 1928

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Dear Ms. Chu Wang,

After many years of separation, looking at the sea and the sky, my longing for you grows stronger.

I've long remembered that line from the Bund Pier. It's been just over a year since I graduated from my international law program. International law students are known for their free and active thinking, a rarity among British students. They're well-organized, constantly exchanging ideas with students in France who are more active in continental thought. Participating in numerous activities has further delayed my geology studies. After graduating from international law, my professor praised my intelligence and suggested I pursue a doctorate. I just wanted to write to you to discuss this matter. However, I received a warning from the university for participating in the anti-fascist rally in London, and my communication has been severely limited. I don't know how to contact you.

I recently heard that the president of the Royal Society will be traveling to China with his assistant, and the inviter is none other than Xu Lai, the top graduate of Cambridge's physics department, who gained fame for his natural science paper. I've seen his name mentioned with yours countless times. I saw a photo of him at age twenty in the school magazine, and I admit I was jealous of him. But when others maliciously speculated and slandered your relationship with him because of your outstanding achievements, I realized the terrible power of such jealousy. You have talent and learning, and I knew it when I met you nearly five years ago. I want to see you more than ever to tell you that I believe in you.

Therefore, I wrote to the president, begging him to take me with him to Hong Kong, where you are. He refused without hesitation, which was understandable. However, at the end of the letter, he told me that if I could complete my geology studies within six months, he might be able to bring me back to China.

The letter is short but the meaning is profound, I will continue to elaborate!

Zhu Heyoutong is so grateful!

Yan Sang

August 4, 1928

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I sincerely hope that you will receive your sincere greetings.

Due to my busy schedule, we haven't seen each other for a long time. I'm sorry to hear that you forgive me.

With my graduation defense imminent, I shouldn't have written this letter now, lest I delay my studies and ruin my only chance of returning to China. Mr. Lin's telegram at the end of last year was truly shocking. Reading it in the British Chinese translation, all I could think was: How could such a father exist? I wonder what his motives were, willing to ruin his daughter's marriage prospects in public! Even if he wasn't my biological father, he wouldn't be so vicious. If graduation weren't imminent, I would have immediately boarded a ship to Paris to confront Mr. Lin and get to the bottom of it.

While Mr. Lin was furious at this, he also felt a subtle jealousy towards your teacher. Those who knew him described him as "a brilliant thinker, a prolific reader, and a noble character bordering on eccentricity." Furthermore, he was undoubtedly more talented and handsome than I was, and he was always by your side, leading to misunderstandings between you and him. How could one not be jealous?

Just over a week later, I received a telegram from him. It invited many of Oxford University's leading geologists to China, including me, a recent graduate. He also sent me a separate telegram, telling me that you and I were a perfect match. He had heard I was having trouble returning home, and had considered sending you to England for further study to facilitate this. However, for various reasons, he told me you, too, would face difficulties leaving China. While inviting British geologists and French chemists to secretly travel to China, he also invited me to come along. He also told me that you were a rare Chinese woman, capable of great learning and skill, and that I must cherish you.

Mr. Xu is a man worthy of respect, a true gentleman. Only now do I realize how short-sighted I am compared to Mr. Xu.

Today's scholars all praise free love and reject feudal dregs. Without this empty paper engagement, perhaps it wouldn't be a good thing for you and me?

Cold

February 16, 1929

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Ms. Chu Wang,

We had already passed the Red Sea. As we entered the tropics, the sea was often filled with violent storms, and everyone on board complained bitterly. I was the only one who felt at ease, simply because the ship was nearing port.

During my years in the UK, I've seen many international students wearing suits and dresses. The long, rainy British winters often remind me of the girls in shirts and white pants on tropical islands in early summer. I wonder what the scene will be like when I see them again in Shanghai in two years' time?

Respectfully submitted by Yan Sang

At Penang Taste