Chapter 15 Red lights all the way, nothing...

The wine went down smoothly, and a burning sensation instantly filled his chest. Li Jiacong wrapped his arms around his waist, as if touching a pale moonlight.

His cat-like eyes blinked softly, the air grew heavy, and Li Jiacong crudely imitated the content of a film he had seen before, but it looked far from the reality.

The first time, it didn't work; the second time, the third time, it still didn't work.

Li Jiacong asked anxiously, "What happened?"

Li Sheng kept one eye tightly closed, looking at him with the other, and said in a low voice, "I don't know either."

“Damn,” Li Jiacong said, “I got it.”

"Um?"

"I forgot to buy those things!" Li Jiacong felt like his brain was about to explode. "Damn, I'm such an idiot!"

Li Sheng understood: "Do we need to use them all?"

"Right, otherwise even if I'm fine, you'll be in trouble."

Li Jiacong gave up and rolled off him: "Forget it. I can't do this."

Li Sheng was surprised: "You're not getting plastic surgery?"

"You want to get it done?" Li Jiacong said. "Aren't you worried about the pain?"

"It hurts... but it didn't end halfway through, did it?" Li Sheng was a little embarrassed to say these words.

Li Jiacong clicked his tongue, thought for a moment, then went down to the ground again. When he came back, he was holding a bar of soap. He wet it with water, rubbed it in his hands, and after it lathered up, he rubbed it on Li Sheng.

Go a little closer. Failure.

The two of them felt dizzy.

Li Jiacong: "No, I'm going to wilt from the pain."

Li Sheng felt even worse, so he had no choice but to give up.

They couldn't go any further. The pain completely vented their pent-up desire, and the two of them lay flat on the kang (a heated brick bed), waiting for the sweat on their bodies to dry.

Li Jiacong returned home disappointed. He took another sip of baijiu (Chinese liquor), then leaned against the wall, closed his eyes, and prepared to fall asleep.

He always liked to lie down alone on the side after he finished, some distance away from Li Sheng.

Unable to sleep, Li Sheng reached out and gently placed his index finger on the back of Li Jiacong's hand, a moment of tenderness between them.

-

After a terrible first experience, Li Jiacong never mentioned it again. The village clinic sold lubricant and condoms, but everyone in the village knew them, and neither he nor Li Sheng dared to buy them. Gradually, he and Li Sheng stopped having such frequent "contacts".

In mid-August, a heavy rain fell for several days—the summer vacation was gradually coming to an end.

"It's all finished. We'll have to go to the post office in town to mail it." Li Sheng packed up Li Jiazong's summer homework. "Shall we go after the rain stops?"

Li Jiacong looked at the weather outside: "When will it stop? This thing will arrive at the earliest tomorrow, and I have to make it to today's shipment. If I'm late, my dad will say I'm not punctual—I'd better go now."

A light drizzle fell, making the roads muddy.

Li Jiacong endured the pain of getting his shoes dirty, finally managing to pull himself out of his shell. He and Li Sheng shared an umbrella, each carrying a backpack filled with their homework, and squatted at the bus stop waiting for the bus.

There are more buses to the town than to the city, but they only come once every hour. People don't know when the next one will come, so they can only wait helplessly.

The waiting time quickly exceeded Li Jiacong's patience: "I'm not sending it anymore!"

Li Sheng advised, "Wait a little longer. Go to the shop to take shelter from the rain. I'll call you when the car arrives."

Li Jiacong frowned, but didn't leave, staring coldly at the ripples on the road.

Li Sheng turned to look at him, then suddenly reached out and poked his forehead: "Why are you always so unhappy?"

Perhaps because he had been physically intimate with Li Sheng, he did not instinctively dodge such a move that undermined his sense of security, letting his brow be pressed flat: "No, I'm not unhappy."

"His face was very sour."

This is what I look like.

Li Sheng laughed: "Rural transportation is inconvenient, you don't like that, do you?"

“Yes,” Li Jiacong had this thought when he first arrived. “Look, this tiny place is left far behind by the world and will slowly be forgotten by people.”

Li Sheng turned around and looked at the village, which stretched out almost as far as the eye could see: "I will never forget it."

“That’s because you’re attached to your hometown…you’re quite attached to your home,” Li Jiacong said. “But I’m not. I’m not attached to this place, and I’m not attached to my hometown either. There’s nothing nice about staying in these places.”

Where do you want to go?

"First-tier cities? I like those cities with skyscrapers. Everything is convenient, there are many people and many opportunities, it's a lively place, how should I put it, bustling, with those neon lights..."

"Will you come back next holiday?"

Li Sheng asked the question abruptly, his eyes slightly lowered.

"Of course not!" Li Jiazong, oblivious to Li Sheng's changing expression, spoke his true thoughts. He never wanted to return to this wretched place. "My dad sent me here to experience life, and I've already experienced it. It's a life where you can see the end from the beginning. When I go back, I'll definitely study hard and be meticulous!"

Li Sheng wanted to ask if there was anything else he cherished, something he would miss in the future, but the words stuck in his throat. He couldn't bring himself to ask, because asking would seem to be putting Jia Cong in a difficult position. Besides, he had already said that he wouldn't come back.

Li Sheng forced himself to smile.

"Hey? I noticed you're taller than me now."

Bored out of his mind, Li Jiacong displayed his useless but meticulous observational skills.

He straightened his back and compared his height to Li Sheng's; Li Sheng was about two centimeters taller than him.

"Holy crap! We used to be the same height, right? You only grew two centimeters this holiday?"

Li Sheng smiled and said, "I've grown up."

Li Jiacong retorted, "I'm going to drink lots of milk when I get back!"

Li Sheng reached out and ruffled his hair. Li Jiacong: "Tsk, fix my hair."

Li Sheng then pulled his hair back down.

In a short while, the bus finally arrived, swaying and dirty, filled with people, each with an aged face and a withered body.

When Li Sheng got on the bus, he was stunned by what he saw. He roughly understood what Li Jiacong meant by "being forgotten." The small village, which was isolated in a corner of the world, was being abandoned by young people.

The rain had stopped when Li Jiacong arrived at the post office. He signed the form at the window and waited for his mail. A postman came out and sorted the letters on a small table next to him. Li Jiacong glanced at them and saw the words "Receipt by Li Shengshou".

He walked over and asked, "This is from Shiqiao Village, right?"

The deliveryman looked up at him, and the man seemed familiar: "Yes, you have one?"

Li Jiacong pulled out the letter: "This is it."

"Take it!"

That's pretty casual.

Li Sheng was looking at the mailbox outside the post office when someone suddenly patted him on the shoulder from behind. He turned around.

Li Jiacong: "It's all mailed."

"Hmm, going back?" Li Sheng said. "Should we eat something outside?"

"Another letter has arrived."

Li Sheng understood what this meant; his mother had sent another letter. Li Sheng blankly took the letter from Li Jiazong, opened it, and read the contents. It was almost identical to the last one. Perhaps because he hadn't received a reply to the first one, he sent another.

“That’s strange,” Li Jiacong said, watching from the side. “He mailed you two letters, afraid they wouldn’t reach you, so why didn’t he come to find you?”

Li Sheng: "Too many people, too much talk."

Li Jiacong: "Right, I forgot."

The slightest disturbance in that village could become common knowledge.

It was only a few lines, but Li Sheng read it for a long time before putting it back in his pocket. This time, Li Jiacong saw Li Sheng's expression. Deep emotions were hidden beneath that calm face. On this point, Li Jiacong quickly understood Li Sheng's thoughts: "Why don't you make a phone call?"

"No."

"If we don't send it, there will be another one."

"You hit me, what did you say?"

"Listen to what the other party has to say."

"It's not my mother who wants to see me."

Li Jiacong said bluntly, "But you still want to see her."

Li Sheng was hit where it hurt: "It's no use whether I want to or not."

“How do you use it? If you want to see her, then go see her,” Li Jiacong frowned, puzzled. “Why do you need to consider whether she wants to see you or not? If she doesn’t want to see you, she should stop this letter from being mailed, from bothering you every time, from making you think about these things and hesitate. And aren’t you curious? What does she look like?”

Li Sheng looked at Li Jiacong. This person was completely different from himself. In some ways, this kind of person actually made him feel relaxed because the other person carried very little. He could be so unrestrained.

“She might have wanted to stop it, but she…” Li Sheng was just guessing, trying to guess an excuse for her, “…so she decided to let it go.”

“Why do the most innocent people,” Li Jiacong sighed for him, “live such a tiring life?”

This was what Li Jiacong couldn't understand the most. Every time he saw Li Shengyue's calm exterior, he felt something clenching in his heart. The rich young master hadn't experienced much hardship, and this alone made him feel deep pity for him. However, he clearly distinguished between sympathy and love.

Li Jiacong: "You only need to answer one question: do you want to see him?"

Li Sheng nodded.

Li Jiacong took his hand: "Let's go take a look."

"What?"

"Go to his village and take a look."

"If the people over there see this, they'll become suspicious..."

"If you have doubts, then doubt them; if you want to see, then see. Just think of yourself as the protagonist of this world. The more attention they pay to you, the more dazzling you become. We'll just take a look from outside the door. This is an opportunity you're giving yourself."

The address on the letter was very detailed; it was a village in the opposite direction from theirs. They asked for directions, took a bus, and arrived quickly.

"Do all rural areas look the same?" Li Jiacong asked doubtfully, standing at the village entrance. "Why does this look no different from Shiqiao?"

The same dilapidated roof, low walls, and backed by low hills and forests.

Since setting off, Li Sheng hadn't uttered a single word. He felt as if he had entered a dream, a dream in which he had imagined countless times what her place would be like, and what she would look like. Now that the answer was about to be revealed, he almost forgot to breathe.

"How are these numbers assigned?"

"I...I don't know either."

"Then I'll go ask."

"Don't!"

"Don't be afraid, I know how to ask. You wait for me outside." He looked at Li Sheng and noticed that Li Sheng had been covering his face with his hands since he came in.

Li Jiacong grabbed his hand: "Why are you blocking the way? Nobody knows you here."

Li Sheng: I'm scared.

Li Sheng: "I'm afraid I look like my dad."

Li Jiacong understood.

What Li Sheng can't shake off is his identity as a perpetrator and a criminal. It came out of nowhere, and Li Sheng has no way to escape it; it has become a habit.

He even worried that similar faces would cast a shadow over "others".

Li Jiacong lowered his hand, not pressuring Li Sheng, and lit a cigarette for himself. He smoked with a mature air, without any trace of student behavior, then turned and went into the store. He came out quickly and said, "It's all settled—turn left, it's the one at the end of the block. I told them I'm the new mailman, no one will think anything of it."

Li Sheng said, "Thank you."

The house at the end of the gate has a large black door with gaps in it, through which you can see into the courtyard, a very neat little courtyard.

Li Jiacong peeked inside and said, "There seems to be someone inside."

Li Jiacong looked around: "How about I think of another excuse, like selling products? Selling... pesticides, how about that?"

No one answered him. He turned his head and found Li Sheng hiding far away, squatting against the wall, looking flustered.

Li Jiacong: "What are you doing?!"

Li Sheng was fine when he didn't speak, but when he did, his voice trembled frighteningly: "She, she, is, is..."

"Oh no!" Li Jiacong rushed over, grabbed him, and patted his back.

Li Sheng's face was deathly pale. He had exhausted all his courage to get here, and he began to regret it: "Let's go."

"good!"

"Help me up, I'm exhausted..."

Li Jiacong grabbed his arm, wrapped it around his neck, and whispered in Li Sheng's ear, "I'm sorry."

He underestimated the importance of this matter in Li Sheng's mind. He thought that taking a look would be good for Li Sheng, but he did not know that even a secret meeting without seeing each other was "as if facing a formidable enemy" for Li Sheng.

A blood relative whom a child has never met. The role of "mother" is so irreplaceable and so precious to a child.

Li Sheng went from physical and mental anticipation to physical and mental fear.

"It's my fault for being spineless." Li Sheng was covered in sweat, and he didn't know where all his strength had gone.

Li Jiacong wiped his forehead with the back of his clean hand: "You are the bravest person I have ever met."

He tried to distract Li Sheng, half-jokingly saying, "Do you know Miriam Yeung? Have you heard her new song... it's called 'Courage'..."

He swapped the "you and me" in the lyrics and used broken Cantonese: "No matter how many red lights there are along the way, no one can stop you. Even if it looks like a thousand horses and a thousand soldiers, you still charge straight ahead. You have no gentleness, only this bit of bravery. You also hope to be loved, but you are willing to play the hero to protect me..."

Li Sheng forced a pale smile.

They were walking out arm in arm when suddenly a voice called out to them from behind.

It was a woman's voice: "Who are you looking for?"

Li Jiacong and Li Sheng turned around at the same time.

A woman who looked to be around forty years old, wearing blue long sleeves and trousers, with very fair skin, unusually long hair that almost reached below her waist, thick eyelashes, and a sorrowful, downcast gaze.

Time stood still at that moment.

This scene was also etched into Li Sheng's mind. Something in his heart suddenly became concrete and less terrifying.

Li Jiacong also knew that there was a 90% chance she would be Li Sheng's mother, as they had strikingly similar features.

Soon, another man emerged from the courtyard. He was old, hunched over, and had white eyes. He asked, "Who is it?"

"I don't know," the woman at the door replied. "Two children."

Li Sheng's throat tightened, his throat taut like never before. He whispered to Li Jiacong, "Let's go."

Li Jiacong glanced at him, immediately understood, and said to the person opposite, "Wrong way, sorry."

The woman said kindly, "I'll show you who to look for."

"Thank you, Auntie," Li Jiacong said. "We know how to get there now. Thank you!"

They walked to the alley entrance until it seemed there were no more eyes on them.

Li Sheng stopped, looked up, and smelled the earth in the air.

The August sky had just cleared up, and the world seemed to have faded in color. The sky was pale, the walls were pale, and on this side, the scar in his heart had also faded.

That might be the best approach.

To her, she was just a child who had gone astray, and she would kindly give directions.

That would be best.

He wouldn't let her associate it with sadness.

That's good.

With a conflicted mind, Li Jiacong suddenly said in my ear, "I'll carry you on my back."

He walked up to himself and squatted down.

This person, who was a little shorter than him and whom he had liked since childhood, carried him on his back. Unexpectedly, Jia Cong looked weak, but he was actually quite strong and carried him very easily.

He said he used to play shuttlecock in school and had a very stable lower body; he said he was thick-skinned and not afraid of being seen by others because no one knew them; he said if he were thin-skinned, he would bury his head.

Li Sheng smiled.