Across the Pacific

Bai Luo heard the sound of the wind and came through the air.

She suddenly raised her eyes and her pupils shrank into a point.

No time to think, no time to dodge.

No time to be afraid, even.

She only remembered to protect him.

Just instinct.

Turn over, press down, and hold the thin belt tightly under your body.

His back endured the heavy blow from the iron rod.

"Bang!"

There was a dull sound, like ice cracking, like bones breaking, like a butterfly falling with broken wings.

The excruciating pain of her scapula rupturing spread throughout her limbs. She groaned, her teeth clenched, and blood flowed from the corners of her lips.

But her hands held Bo Xi tightly, as if she was holding the whole world.

It was as if without him, there would be no spring in her world anymore.

The man was exhausted, the iron rod fell out of his hand, and with a clang, he collapsed completely.

The sky is dark and rainy. It is infinitely gray.

Bai Luo curled up in front of Bo Xi, the wound on her back made it almost impossible for her to move.

But she stubbornly raised her little face, looked at his pale face, and tremblingly reached out her hand to touch his cheek.

"You've saved me so many times."

"I remember."

"Now, it's my turn."

She smiled, with blood on the corners of her lips, but her smile was heartbreakingly gentle.

"Bo Qian."

"I really like you so much."

If she had the chance, she would like to accompany him through life.

Having the same breakfast with him, sitting in a small shop on the street, he drank porridge and she drank soy milk.

Walk slowly with him for a while, without saying a word, holding hands until dark, until we grow old.

The light is a lie, the shadow is the truth.

She could not see the dawn. She could not see freedom.

The world is a wisp of broken smoke.

The person's heart line was broken and shattered.

Death imprisons everything.

There's light in the gray sky. Pale orange. Rose red. Slowly climbing to the horizon.

Like hope. Like farewell. Like tenderness that shouldn't be there.

Bai Luo looked at the light and smiled.

"Look, it's almost dawn."

"Even if it's not ours, it's still beautiful, right?"

Rain is a net of light, capturing the day but letting go of the shadows.

Their world is very quiet.

So quiet, only heartbeat, breathing, and love remain.

*

When the two were sent to the hospital, the heavy rain passing through Hangzhou and Hong Kong was combined with a super typhoon and invaded Southeast Asia.

The cold blood-red sun hangs high in the azure sky.

The alleys in the old city are full of age and the directions are confusing. The alleys are winding and you will get lost as you walk.

The alley entrance was narrow, and the ambulance was large and unwieldy. Its lights were flashing, but it was parked. Its sirens were blaring, but it could only stop.

Medical staff carried stretchers on their shoulders, crushing their reflections. The iron frame was cold, but the human blood was still warm.

Between life and death, there is a curtain and a pair of hands that refuse to stop.

Stop bleeding, apply pressure, and save time.

Every movement is a tug of war with death.

Every second is a gamble, a gamble for a miracle, a gamble for waking up.

Bo Xi was bleeding from his abdominal cavity, his life hanging by a thread. The operating lights went out, but he was still unconscious.

Bai Luo's butterfly bone shattered. Old pains resurfaced, the scab in his heart cracked again. He was trapped in the cage of memory, unable to escape.

It's not a coma, it's just that I don't want to wake up.

But the storm will always stop and the day will always dawn.

When Shen Cisi and his group received the news from the hospital, their hearts skipped a beat.

Panic filled my chest. No one spoke. I hurried straight to the ward.

The two who had been chatting and laughing yesterday, but in just a few hours, they lay motionless in bed. Their faces were pale, their lips bloodless. They looked like cold corpses.

The long, white daylight bathed the earth. Outside the window, a row of Northern Gray Flycatchers flew neatly past the white building.

Concubine Lu stood at the window, her cold white fingers covering the clear glass. Cold, transparent. It separated life and death.

She pushed hard. The window opened.

“Crash!”

The wind rushed in.

The sky is bright and clear.

The dazzling light and shadow passed through the branches of the dead tree, and fell on the faces of the two people on the hospital bed.

The color bloomed in his face. It was fake. It was just a lie of the light.

The corners of Concubine Lu's eyes turned red, and although her tears didn't fall, her heart was already wet.

She knew what happened between the two this morning.

Irrevocable. Unspeakable.

Why is it that a person living in the dark is always haunted by the shadow of sin that is worse than sin?

Why is it that a person who is so fragile can live so tenaciously and not lose to anyone else?

Misery always likes to chase after the weak and bite them, and it feels good only when it bites them until they are bloody.

It's getting harder and harder. It's getting more painful.

The wild autumn wind chased the shadows of the clouds and rushed into the ward through the window like crazy.

The hypocritical coldness of the disinfectant was blown away, leaving only a wisp of jasmine fragrance.

Light, yet sharp.

It was Bai Luo's shadow. It was Bo Yi's lingering warmth.

Can't shake it off. Can't escape.

Shen Ci Si leaned against the white wall absentmindedly, staring at the body on the bed. There was no sadness or joy in his eyes, only one sentence he didn't say out loud: "You, f*cking kid, are you worthy of being called Bo Xi?"

In the past, he would feel annoyed whenever he smelled the intoxicating scent of jasmine.

It's not feminine, it's soft.

It was a kind of humble air of "someone is taking care of me" that began to emanate from Bo Xi.

That was good. Finally, someone could curb this bastard's madness and tamp down his wild nature.

But he refused to admit it.

He stubbornly waited for Bo Xilai to kick open his door like he used to, and cursed, "Chen Cisi, what the hell is wrong with you again?"

The harsher you curse, the more like him you are, the more alive you are.

But what about now?

Lying on the hospital bed, with eyes closed day and night.

Alive, but already lost to the whole world.

The wind is so warm today, so warm that everyone’s eyes are red and their noses are sore.

But no one gave up.

He said the wind was too strong and made his eyes dry.

Bo Yi, if you dare to die, I will dig your fucking grave.

You are not dead yet.

Then don't play dead.

Near the Hangzhou-Hong Kong Municipal Hospital, there is an old building that has been exposed to wind and sun for decades.

There is a white bell at the top, silent and mottled.

The hour hand points directly east, which is the direction of sunrise.

Look, the sun rises in the east as usual, neither sad nor happy, looking down at all living beings from high above.

There are many different kinds of life in the world.

Some are born towards the light, some towards the shadow, and some towards death.

The word "life" entangles everyone.

Winter has not yet come, but life already has the taste of spring.

It takes root in the bones and blood, and branches out to become a tree.

Later, spring became the background color of life, and gray retreated.

Greenery grows wildly, climbing up the wall, climbing up the window, climbing up the heart.

It is overgrown with vines that shouldn’t grow.

Born in blood, grows in bones, and opens in the heart.

*

The whole world is making way for them, but the god of death is holding on to them.

The earth keeps turning, the seasons cycle, and people keep living.

One day, an uninvited guest came to the ward.

A man in a custom-made suit stood in front of the window. His black hair cast a cold shadow, half covering his proud almond-shaped eyes.

A row of black-clad bodyguards lined the wall. Walking was forbidden.

The moment Shen Cisi and Lu Fei pushed the door, the air froze.

They recognized him.

Bai Luo's uncle.

The eldest son of the Bo family who never shows up but is feared by the entire chaebol circle, and Bo Xi's half-brother.

In terms of blood relationship, Bai Luo should follow Bo Qi and call him "Big Brother".

The moment he opened the door, Shang Yu concealed the lonely expression on his face and glanced at the two of them lightly.

He spoke slowly, but each word was powerful.

"I am Botie's elder brother. I already know about his situation. The medical expenses will be charged to me. Thank you for your care during this time."

"Since you're running between school, home, and the hospital every day, I've hired a top-notch nurse to watch over him around the clock. Just come and see him and talk to him occasionally."

His eyes turned and his tone became a little colder.

"Besides, I'm Bai Luo's uncle. Even if you don't know everything about her background, you should have heard some rumors."

"Her wanted poster has been posted on the dark web. Hangzhou and Hong Kong have long been a shady place."

"Today, she must disappear. She must be transferred to a private medical base under my name. It is a constant temperature, sterile, traceable, and leak-free facility."

The corners of his lips curled up with an elegance that was almost sarcastic.

"The address is kept secret for now. Once she wakes up, she will contact you if she wants."

The words were spoken cleanly and neatly, without any superfluous words, but every sentence was to the point.

The two stood there in a daze, their throats moving but not saying a word.

It’s not that I don’t want to, it’s that I don’t dare.

What can they do when faced with a top player who has the world at his fingertips and whose silence feels oppressive?

You can only lower your head and step back.

Then, he disappeared into thin air.

The rotten leaves on the neon avenue flew wildly, and the cool night wind gently blew Lu Fei's hair.

In the dimly lit field of vision, the black business car became smaller and darker, and disappeared into a dot.

Luo Bao.

You should go to Beijing.

There is sunshine in Shangjing.

The sun is bright and warm.

The sun can smile, so you should smile too.

Don’t come back, don’t go back to Hangzhou and Hong Kong.

It’s too stuffy, too humid, and the air is sticky.

I feel so worried that I can't breathe.

It doesn't have to be a reunion.

But you must be happy.

Even if you have to pretend, you have to smile.

Just for a moment.

*

The salty and humid sea breeze blows across the Pacific Ocean.

3° south of the equator, it’s really hot and humid.

Bai Luo, who had been drowsy for eighty days and nights, woke up one afternoon when it was pouring rain.

The dream is too long and my heart is too tired.

The raindrops hit the banana leaves, one sound after another. Each sound is more crazy than the last.

She opened her eyes, but her vision was blurry. She looked at the world through her tears.

I thought I was in Hangzhou-Hong Kong City Hospital. The bed was cold and white.

As she was about to get out of bed and put on her slippers, her sight was caught by a flash of endless blue.

It is hard to tell whether it is the sky like cold water or the boundless sea.

Chi Yipai blinked, his gaze fixed.

It is the sea. A grand sea, a lonely sea.

The coastline curves like a scar. White sand is soft. Coconut trees sway in the shadows. The mudflats stretch far and wide. Waves lap in a thousand layers.

Not Hangzhou. Not home.

It’s not a familiar street, it’s not a familiar light.

It's an island.

An island nestled between mountains and facing the sea, a corner forgotten by the world.

Who brought her here?

I don't want to ask. I don't dare to guess.

If I guess, my heart will ache.

It hurts, and my heart breaks a little more.

I just want to see one person.

One side, one glance.

Even if it's just an illusion.

But she knows.

Never see you again.

My heart is half dead.

The other half, just survive.

Not for hope. Not for tomorrow.

Just to remember the pain and remember him.

Remember that endless rain.

Bai Luo slowly pushed open the huge floor-to-ceiling window.

It is a spacious observation deck with iced coconut water and lemongrass tea placed next to the rattan furniture.

The service is in place and the style is full.

The equatorial season rain is drizzling.

In the distance, palm leaves shimmered with golden green, bougainvillea climbed the stone walls, and hibiscus blossomed, red as blood, like fire, like the alley that day.

She guessed she was in a tropical French manor.

It is located on a gentle slope along the tropical coastline. Not high, not conspicuous, yet overlooking the junction of sea and sky.

The architecture combines colonial heritage, Baba Nyonya craftsmanship and modern oriental aesthetics.

Vulgar, but powerful enough.

The green sea breeze, mixed with fine raindrops, slapped my cheeks.

She sat on the floor, leaning against the French window.

The blue and white hospital gown he was wearing was loose and outlined his thin frame.

I don’t know how long I slept, maybe one night, maybe a lifetime.

I only remember the boy's voice before he fell asleep, weak but persistent, calling me over and over again.

"Bai Luo, don't sleep."

"Look me in the eyes."

"Please, don't sleep, okay?"

He was clearly stabbed, and blood was dripping, staining her white shirt red, staining the entire alley red, staining her memory red.

He was clearly in so much pain that he was about to die, his face was pale, and his breathing was trembling. But he endured the severe pain and begged her to let her wake up.

Not for myself to live, but for her not to close her eyes.

I don't know when the tears started rolling down, one drop, two drops, three drops...

Like rain. Like sea water. Like time that can never be returned.

Tears are the smallest cold sea.

The sun rolled below the horizon, and the sea became a desaturated blue glass. The air was filled with the salty freedom and the unique perfume of the ocean.

My mind suddenly flashed back to the old city of Hangzhou and the dilapidated rental house.

＿＿

A one-meter-wide single bed can accommodate two people and also the entire youth.

One of Bo Xi's arms was held down by her and he had already lost consciousness.

The two of them stood side by side, facing the casement windows that were popular in the last century and the foggy Fifth Avenue.

Watch the stars slowly climb up into the night sky. Listen to the cicadas screaming at the top of their lungs, cheering for youth.

Bo Xi couldn't sleep. He had never been one to settle down. Bai Luo was half asleep, his sleep disturbed by him.

The evil and wickedness in one's bones cannot be suppressed.

In the dark night, the boy's voice was unusually clear.

"Baby."

Bai Luo, whose consciousness was drifting, uttered a "hmm" in a daze.

He was unhappy. His fingertips felt cold, and he pinched her cheek directly. The more perfunctory she was, the stronger her grip was.

In return, the girl was kicked under the quilt, which was a blatant provocation.

The bedroom was dimly lit. Bo Yi pinched her cheek again, as if in rebellion.

Soft. Tender. Addictive.

"I want some snacks."

This very neurotic sentence made Bai Luo's eyelids twitch.

All the sleepiness disappeared.

Snacking late at night?

Good...childish habit.

She didn't think much of it and just assumed he was hungry.

In the pitch-cold night, she lazily turned over, her eyes cold and clear as she met his fierce gaze as if it were fate.

"What snacks do you want?"

Her fingertips traced the tattoo on his heart boredly, over and over again.

Write your initials.

"BL"

Write long romantic Latin sentences.

"Lamour ne perit jamais"

(Love never fades)

"Fat-free, 0 sugar, 0 non-dairy creamer."

The hand that was pinching her cheek was restlessly playing with a strand of her hair, entwining it between its fingers.

Each of them has his own ulterior motives and enjoys his own fun.

"Where can I find snacks like this?"

Just a casual question.

Gusts of night wind blew outside the window. The world trembled.

As Bai Luo wrote his initials for the tenth time, a signature smirk fell upon his ears.

"Yes, I have."

"What?"

Her eyelids twitched. The alarm went off.

As long as he plays with fire, he will cause trouble.

Looking up, I met his cold and sharp gaze filled with malicious intent.

The night cicada's hissing sound was silent for a second.

"Your lips."

"You want to kiss me again?"

In the dim light, two voices collided head-on, each voice becoming muffled.

“…”

No wonder people who never eat snacks suddenly want to eat “snacks” in the middle of the night.

She must be the dessert he has been longing for.

The crescent moon in the western sky scattered fragments of light like mist, floating down.

When a person's neck is clamped, he is naturally the passive party.

The kiss was unreasonable, without retreat, without tenderness. It was biting, crushing, swallowing, naked possession.

Their lips collided with hers, sucking away her oxygen and breaking her bones, without giving her a chance to breathe.

"Be good."

He bit her lip, causing her to tremble in pain. It was pure evil, pure wickedness.

"Don't attract any attention to me."

“…”

Bai Luo's brain was deprived of oxygen, and he pushed him away with both hands. He refused to kiss him.

How dare he say that to her?

Isn't he also flirting with others?

Under the roadside tree in front of the Hangzhou University gate, a young boy leaned against the bare tree trunk in a cold and arrogant manner, holding a lollipop in his mouth in a rogue manner.

It looks like a frozen black and white image.

I don’t know how many freshman girls blushed and handed over their phones to ask for WeChat.

Just as she was about to get closer, a clean-cut boy suddenly appeared.

"Sister, what a coincidence."

It was the part-time boy who asked Lu Fei to scan the code to help him when they were waiting for the bus under the street light when Lu Fei asked her to go to KTV.

Before she could respond, she was pulled into an embrace with great force.

"I'm her fucking boyfriend."

"How could I not know that she suddenly had a brother with bad intentions?"

Warning means full.

"Don't recognize me randomly. Get away."

“…”

Her eyes went dark and she almost died on the spot.

Whose boyfriend is a jealous person? He is always jealous.

Can't the little brother just thank her?

She didn't know how long he had been pressing her down and kissing her. Maybe he had had enough of kissing her, so he slowly let her go.

He fell asleep on top of me again, his breath scalding hot.

They chatted for a while and talked about the sea.

He said:

"Let's go to Land's End and watch the sea, sit by the sea, feel the sea breeze and wait for the sunrise."

We talked about the future again.

He said:

“Where you are, there is the future.”

"Look back, I'll always be here."

"Even if you don't look back, I'm still here."

She is his only salvation and also his only disaster.

＿＿

Memories are a broken blue ocean.

She was a little whale in the underwater world, waving her tail fin and swimming until the water turned a cold blue.

Looking back suddenly, the seven seconds of memories are layered together, and I can no longer remember how long I swam.

But Bai Luo refused.

She swims her own way, a drunken swim that refuses to wake up, even if she gets lost in the endless blue.

Between them.

There are so many unspoken words.

Too many hands that were not held enough.

There are too many sunsets that we didn’t watch together.

To this day.

Only the rain remained, falling coldly and densely.

Only the wind was left, blowing fiercely and empty.

A cool sea breeze ruffled her icy blue hair, a soft strand covering her eyes.

Like the one he pulled apart for her that day.

“Click!”

The door was pushed open, violently tearing the silence apart.

The people outside stopped breathing and their heartbeats became irregular.

It's like the first time I saw her when I was young.

The girl woke up.

Finally woke up.

Nearly three months, eighty days.

He counted them. Every night.

The man didn't move, didn't dare to move. Her back was to him, but her gaze was more lethal than any direct gaze.

Just like before.

Like that winter, when snow fell all over her shoulders, she didn't look back.

I stared at her back for a long time, until my shadow got tired, until the sea breeze turned cold, until the sunset sank into the sea.

Arriving before the darkness was a faint cool fragrance of sandalwood.

Cold, arrogant, and emotionless, just like him, he would not tolerate rejection.