Chapter 53 Ending (Part 2)

The conflict in that area was intense. By the third week, Company E had lost one man and injured three. "Henry's attitude took a complete turn. He asked each platoon commander to keep a record of their kill rate and post it on the refrigerator in camp," Meng Zixian said.

"What watch?" Shen Huan asked.

Meng Zixuan's eyes paused briefly on her face, then turned away and replied, "Every corporal in the platoon must tick off those who have killed someone, and zero if they haven't. This number must be 100%. The commander gave this order, and the recruits who hadn't killed anyone became the object of ridicule, and their kill rate immediately went up."

“What if soldiers shoot at civilians in order to put up records?” Shen Huan asked.

"Civilians." Meng Zixuan sneered, "A ten-year-old kid is driving down a dirt slope towards us. If I were to follow the 'Operational Rules' and fire a warning shot at the front of the car, it would be tantamount to suicide."

He continued, "Bravo was soon transferred here too. Captain Gabo of Company B was a lunatic and was later court-martialed. The men of Company B wore Kevlar and took off their pants, standing on the rooftop firing machine guns, while Gabo stood nearby, chewing a cigarette.

"Our area of ​​operations is adjacent to Company B, so we submit contact reports and combat results together. Jiabo's statistics are impressive. On the one hand, his men are reckless, but on the other hand, his area is more chaotic, and the drug dealers are all there. Schumer used to be very cautious and didn't like to compete with others to see who was braver or tougher, but this time is different."

"Why?" Shen Huan asked.

"I don't know." Meng Zixuan said, "One of our own people was injured or died. Or maybe it was because of that pregnant woman. Who knows. He doesn't sleep at night. I don't know what he uses. It must be more than just Valium. I can see it in his eyes."

"Did he ask the military doctor for a prescription?"

Meng Zixuan sneered, "The military doctor can't provide that amount. But Jiabo can get the medicine. I said, the drug dealers are all with him."

Shen Huan tightened her grip around the edge of the toilet bowl, then loosened it. She tossed the ball of toilet paper into the trash can. "Are you using these too?"

"I don't have any," he said, "but the platoon must have some." "Don't you care?"

"How can I care?" He sneered, "Don't take drugs and go to die in a daze? You're talking without any pain in your waist, Chen Huan. The things we've seen will mess up your brain. Everyone has their own way of dealing with it."

"What's your response?"

Meng Zixuan didn't answer her. Shen Huan asked again. He said impatiently: "What do you care what it is. It ruined our marriage, didn't it?"

"Oh." Chen Huan nodded. "Your way of coping is to masturbate next to a six-foot-high plywood board after every night patrol." Meng Zixuan's face showed surprise. He turned his head to look at her: "Is this the reason why you broke up with me?" Chen Huan smiled and wiped the corner of his eyes with the back of his hand. "Of course not."

"What's that?" he asked.

Chen Huan lowered her head and thought for a long time. She said, "There have always been problems between us. You were never by my side. Every time you came back from your assignment, you were rude to me. But in the end, I decided to leave you because of Emma. I know it was a temporary thing, but I still envied her. It might be because we weren't well off, but you wanted to give her the money you saved. It might also be because you worked so hard to keep the child, even harder than to keep our marriage."

Meng Zixuan was silent for a long time, his hands resting on his thighs, clasped together stiffly. "I don't know how to keep our marriage. This is something you're good at. At the time, I only knew to push you away because I was afraid of hurting you."

Meng Zixian said that the week Schumer died, the colonel emphasized the risks in the southeast area. "Local police had already decided to abandon that area. The intelligence they received was either wrong or outdated. But Schumer insisted on regular patrols."

"Maybe it was because E Company's combat reports were finally about to surpass Bravo's, or maybe it was the neurotransmitters from the drugs that made him feel like a god of war. Once, while checking an intersection, he was so high that he rushed out under enemy fire, pried open the door of an overturned Humvee, and ran back to the bunker carrying the wounded inside.

"Regularizing patrols is a policy error. It's not a mistake Schumer would make. He's a veteran."

"Can you object?" Shen Huan asked.

"In principle, no." Meng Zixuan's voice was hoarse. "He is my superior. If I question his judgment, I can raise objections after the operation is over, or even sue him in court after the dispatch is over. But on the battlefield, I can only obey orders."

“That’s the principle,” Shen Huan said.

Meng Zixuan clenched and unclenched his fists. "Yes," he admitted. "In principle, there was nothing I could do. But in reality, every day during those four months, I could do something. He lay next to me, with only a piece of plywood between us. He came to see me, Henry, he came to see me many times. He wanted to talk about what would happen after he returned, his wife, his family. I didn't want to talk about it."

"Why?"

Meng Zixuan's eyes were blank. He was lost in his own memories, answering questions irrelevantly. "He wanted to talk to someone. I told him to go find Bald Louis, our military chaplain. He said that old bachelor wouldn't understand. I said I just wanted to play games and shoot airplanes. After giving the order for the night patrol, he came to me and asked if I remembered the verse in the Bible: I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith."

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.

"But I told him that I no longer believe in God," said Meng Zixuan.

Shen Huan’s eyes were wet and she was speechless.

"At that time, I didn't know why I hated Henry," Meng Zixian said. "Above my head were the sounds of cannons, bullets, and fighter planes, and my body was full of adrenaline. My brain couldn't figure out these things. Then you broke up with me, I went to Tampa, and a year later you came to me again, and then I gradually figured it out.

"I'm jealous of Schumer. My marriage is broken, and his wife still loves him. I want him to be destroyed by the war, too.

"When I forced Emma to keep the child, I talked about faith, promises, and responsibilities, but I don't believe a word of it myself. If I had died in Darvash, you should have given up the child and lived a life without any worries. But for Emma, ​​I just want to fill the hole left by Henry.

"During that time, I made things difficult for everyone and took revenge on the world, but I couldn't hurt you." Meng Zixuan said, "You asked me why we broke up in the first place. This is my reason."

When Felix Schumer was just one year old, Emma suddenly died of heart failure after catching a cold. Shen Huan received a call from the Lawson family, inviting her to attend the funeral. She didn't go. She didn't want to see Emma again.