Chapter 16 "Shanshan, you can...you can..."

Liang Shao did not force Shan He. When he kissed Shan He's lips, a slight tremor ran through her skin, a tremor of fear completely different from their previous lovemaking. Liang Shao's high walls of defense crumbled, as if his soul had suddenly returned. He slowly released her, averting his eyes from Shan He, biting his lip and saying, "I'm sorry."

Taking advantage of the moment when Liang Shao let go of her, Shanhe quickly broke free from his embrace, took a big step away from Liang Shao, and huddled in the corner of the bed.

The flush from confessing his feelings to Shanhe earlier was gradually fading. Liang Shao raised the tip of his nose and looked sadly out the window. His tone was desolate: "I'm sorry, I hate myself too..."

She hates that she has fallen in love with Shanhe, hates that she can't divorce her, hates that she can't control her urge to force Shanhe to stay, and hates even more that since she has decided to force the issue, she can't bring herself to do it.

Shanhe choked, her hands trembling as she frantically straightened her torn clothes.

On a long, leisurely afternoon, Shanhe lay asleep on her canopy bed, facing the wall, while Liang Shao reclined on his daybed, gazing at Shanhe. Time seemed to move slowly; they wasted the entire afternoon in this silent stalemate. Time also seemed to fly by; Liang Shao watched the sun slowly climb to the west, and it felt like more than half the day had passed, and tomorrow was approaching again. Liang Shao was afraid of tomorrow.

Just as Cheng Bao woke up from his afternoon nap, he saw a small old man with white hair and beard, carrying a medicine box, standing under the eaves. Cheng Bao respectfully said, "Second Master, Physician Wang has arrived."

Shanhe heard everything clearly from inside the room and couldn't help but be surprised. The Liang family's business had always been handled by Physician Xu from Chunsheng Hall, and they had never invited any Physician surnamed Wang before. She listened intently as Liang Shao slipped off his shoes, first came over and lowered the curtains of the canopy bed, carefully concealing Shanhe inside, before walking to the door and saying in a calm and polite voice, "Wanwan greets Elder Mr. Wang."

Doctor Wang stroked his beard, nodded, and smiled, "Last time I came to your residence to pay my respects to the old master, but because you and your brother were both busy with worldly affairs, I didn't bother you much. Today, since you invited me, I naturally had to come. May I ask where your wife is?"

Liang Shao replied in a low voice, "My wife is still taking a nap. Please sit for a moment, sir, and I will wake her up now."

As they spoke, Liang Shao returned to the bedside, gently lifted a corner of the bed curtain, and placed his palm lightly on the brocade quilt on Shanhe's shoulder, saying in a gentle voice, "Shanshan, Mr. Wang is a famous gynecologist in Mizhou. Weren't you feeling unwell the other day? It's a good opportunity to ask Mr. Wang to take care of you."

Shanhe suddenly understood. Last night he said he wanted to fulfill his grandfather's last wish, and now he had invited the renowned gynecologist, Mr. Wang, to come. It was clear that he wanted to use the issue of having children to tie her down. Shanhe gritted her teeth and said, "I'm completely healed." She raised her eyes and looked straight into his eyes.

Liang Shao averted his gaze, seemingly oblivious to her presence, and continued in a clear voice, "I dare not disobey my grandfather's dying wish. My lady is frail; if this continues, it will delay her marriage and go against my grandfather's wishes. My lady, please extend your hand so that the old doctor may carefully examine your pulse. Only after your health has improved can you live a long and healthy life together." These words were spoken not only to Shanhe but also to the physician Wang outside.

Before long, Wang Langzhong's laughter came from outside: "Passing on the family line is the natural order." He stroked his white beard, his thoughts drifting back to the past, and he couldn't help but sigh: "Back when your grandfather taught at the academy, he had twenty or thirty poor children under his tutelage, all of them destitute and helpless. They all learned the ways of the master from him and called him Father Liang. What a pity! I never imagined that after decades, they would either be scattered in different places or pass away early. When the old master was on his deathbed, only you, Second Master, were left by his side!"

Shanhe was stunned. Among those twenty or thirty impoverished children, there was one whose father it was. The kindness of Old Master Liang, from Xue Yin to Xue Shanhe, spanned two generations; she could never repay it in this lifetime. Thinking of this, a chill ran through Shanhe's heart, down to her very bones. Even if Liang Shao was wrong, he still had one truth—Shanhe giving birth to the Liang family's great-grandson was indeed Old Master Liang's dying wish. Liang Shao was deliberately telling her that Shanhe's inheritance was not only his wish but also an act of repaying his debt of gratitude. Was he using the Old Master's kindness to force her?

Seeing Shanhe's fixed gaze, as if deep in thought, Liang Shao gritted his teeth, took Shanhe's fair wrist from under the brocade quilt, and placed it on his lap. Shanhe suddenly snapped back to reality, realizing his intention, and hurriedly tried to pull her hand back, saying resentfully, "I don't want to!" Liang Shao held her hand, turned his eyes away from Shanhe, and said softly, "I'm sorry." Then Liang Shao said loudly, "Thank you for your trouble, Mr. Wang."

Heavy curtains separated Shanhe and Liang Shao, keeping their tense standoff hidden behind them. Led by Suiming, Doctor Wang entered, only to see Liang Shao's legs and a section of his wrist resting on his knee visible beneath the curtains; the rest of the scene was completely concealed. Suiming quickly placed a pulse pillow under Shanhe's hand and covered her wrist with a handkerchief. Doctor Wang held his breath, placing three fingers on the cun-guan point to carefully examine the pulse. After a moment, the old doctor sighed, "Madam is too tense."

Inside the curtained room, Liang Shao looked down and saw Shan He clenching her teeth and closing her eyes, knowing she was making fists. His lips moved silently, clearly revealing the outline of two words: "Qing, Yue".

Shanhe was stunned. He was using Qingyue to blackmail her!

Liang Shao lowered his gaze to the exposed section of her fair wrist, slender and white. His heart ached slightly, but his tone was as calm as a still well: "My grandfather has just passed away, and my heart is truly grieved. The old man will be lonely in the afterlife. If he could have someone from the past to accompany him, it would be... to fulfill his wish."

Shanhe's pupils trembled, and she bit her lip, staring intently at him.

Wang Langzhong, unaware of the situation, sighed, "It's a pity that most of the old friends have also passed away."

Liang Shao met Shan He's eyes calmly. His gaze was serene as he looked at Shan He peacefully, and he easily decided Qing Yue's fate: "It all depends on Shan Shan's decision."

Inside the tent, you could hear a pin drop. After a moment of silent stalemate, Shanhe finally gave in. Her tightly clenched fingers suddenly loosened, and she closed her eyes in despair, two lines of tears welling up in her eyes. As they streamed down her cheeks, Liang Shao gently wiped away the tears with his fingertips. His rough palm cupped her face, slowly caressing it, and he said in a melancholy voice, "Mr. Wang, thank you for your trouble."

Wang Langzhong was an old doctor who was used to walking around the inner quarters of wealthy families and knew their private affairs well. He was still sharp of hearing and sight, and he could roughly guess what was going on inside just by hearing the slight rustling of the curtains. Wang Langxin sighed deeply, then held his breath and focused on her pulse, slowly saying, "Judging from the pulse, your wife's heart is stagnant, her liver is weak and her blood is slightly deficient. I suppose she has been experiencing yin-yang imbalance and irregular menstruation before?" Old Master Wang stroked his beard and pondered, "If you want to have children smoothly, you need to gradually nourish her, clear the blockages, and regulate yin and yang." After saying this, Old Master Wang did not immediately prescribe a prescription, but asked about Shanhe's daily diet and lifestyle. After clarifying everything, he said, "Madam was originally a strong person, but in the past two years, she has been overthinking, which has led to restlessness and weakness in both heart and spleen, causing her body to gradually become depleted. In my opinion, medicine is secondary; what is needed is to regulate these emotional symptoms and broaden her mind. This is the fundamental solution."

These words struck a chord with Liang Shao, who immediately replied, "That's exactly right! My wife is a very sensitive person, and it's true that she's been troubled by these emotions. Sir, please prescribe the best medicine without hesitation. I only hope that you can quickly restore my wife's health and not disappoint my grandfather's spirit in heaven."

Doctor Wang nodded, opened his medicine box, took out paper and pen, and wrote down a prescription in a flourish. The prescription consisted of medicines to regulate qi and blood, soothe the liver, and relieve depression. Just as he was about to put down his pen, he remembered Liang Shao's earlier words about "inheritance," so he added a few more medicines to promote flowering and fertility before handing the prescription to Liang Shao.

Liang Shao glanced at the prescription quickly, quite satisfied. He then summoned Cheng Bao and instructed him to fetch the medicine according to the prescription and have it brewed that evening. Doctor Wang then gave Shanhe many more instructions, mainly about daily health maintenance, before bowing and taking his leave. Because Doctor Wang and Old Master Liang had a past relationship, Liang Shao personally saw him off, leaving only Shanhe and Suiming in the main room for a while.

Shanhe propped herself up and saw Suiming standing beside her packing her trunks. She spoke softly, "Suiming, can you help me? I want to see Qingyue."

Sui Ming turned her back to Shan He, her spine stiffened, and then she slowly shook her head.

Only then did Shanhe realize with sorrow that everyone in this mansion, whether they treated her well or coldly, were first and foremost members of the Liang family, and first and foremost listened to the Liang family. She had been here for two years, yet in the end, she was still an outsider. Shanhe knew that Suiming was caught in a dilemma between her and Liang Shao, so she didn't force her. She slipped on her shoes, threw off the covers, and got out of bed. As soon as she stood on the floor, she saw Liang Shao standing in the doorway, tall and elegant, coldly staring at her.

After seeing Mr. Wang off, Liang Shao hurried back, but slowed down as he entered Shuyu Pavilion. He hesitated, then walked to the corridor, stood between the doorways, and silently gazed at Shanhe, his heart aching terribly. He said in a low voice, "Suiming, you go out first."

Sui Ming hurriedly put down her work, lowered her head, and ran out.

Liang Shao closed the door, paused for a moment on the latch, and finally bolted it before turning around and walking towards Shanhe.

Shanhe stood on the footboard, watching him bolt the door. A chill ran through her, replaced by a feeling of grief, indignation, and humiliation. She sneered, "I'm not a prisoner. You don't need to bother locking me up like this!"

Liang Shao didn't answer. He walked up to Shan He, took her hand, and forced their fingers together, his voice sounding like a plea: "Shan Shan, from now on, let's live a good life together, okay?"

Shanhe tried to shake off his hand, but found that he was holding it tightly, as if they were glued together. With another squeeze, her ten fingers were sore from his grip.

"Can we not get a divorce?"

Shanhe turned her face away, refusing to look at him.

"Love me, okay?"

Shanhe was suddenly startled. She slowly lowered her eyes, her gaze falling on the void, and whispered, "It's too late."

If it had been earlier, at least before she went to Danxia Painting Studio, Liang Shao's pleading and coercion might have softened her heart, and she might have stayed in the Liang family mansion, casting aside any thought of hindering his career, and lived a mundane and uneventful life with him. But now, she had tasted freedom, she had seen a corner of the vast world outside, she had heard Wu Tianqi's praise of women's lives, she could earn money with her own hands, and people were willing to pay to appreciate her carefully crafted paintings. How could she possibly let all of this slip away! Before, when she was here, though her name was Xue Shanhe, she was merely the lonely daughter of a disgraced official, an empty shell who only knew how to repay kindness. Now, she had grown flesh and blood, and vibrant blood flowed through her body. She was not only Xue Shanhe, she was also He Shanxue. For the first time, she had found her value as a human being, something priceless, more precious than love.

So, it's too late.

Liang Shao sensed a hint of softening in her tone and quickly followed up, "How can it be too late! We have plenty of time ahead of us..."

Shanhe turned her face, staring at Liang Shao's eyebrows and eyes, then her gaze moved downwards, taking in his high, straight nose and tightly pursed thin lips. A wave of sorrow washed over her. Shanhe forced a smile: "The words have been spoken, and there's no going back. Even if I stay, this matter will forever stand between us. How can I love you? Perhaps years later, I'll wonder if I stayed because of love, or because of the way you're begging me today? If it's the latter, Ah Shao, haven't we wasted our entire lives?"

Liang Shao's voice grew deeper and deeper: "Shanshan, you can... you can love me slowly."

“What if I can’t do it?” Shanhe immediately replied, “Are you just going to force us to stay together like this, for the rest of our lives? I can stay because of my grandfather’s kindness, but is that fair to you?”