Conflict and Choice

Tang Feng truly kept his word; he said he would keep vigil for three days, and he didn't come out for three days. Zhou Ziliang sat at the entrance of the main hall, listening intently for any sound, afraid that Tang Feng might collapse inside again. Although the coughing sounds from inside made Zhou Ziliang's heart tighten, thankfully nothing serious happened. On the morning of the third day, the long-closed wooden door of the main hall slowly opened, and Tang Feng slowly walked out, his steps unsteady, his face deathly pale, and his eyes bruised. "Xiao Feng!" Tang Feng waved his hand when he saw Zhou Ziliang following him. "It's nothing, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have yelled at you the other day, cough cough cough... um..." Before Tang Feng could cover his mouth, a mouthful of blood spurted out. "Alright, alright, I don't care. Why are you torturing yourself like this? Let's go down and rest, okay?" Tang Feng ignored Zhou Ziliang's words, just haphazardly wiped the blood from the corner of his mouth, pushed away Zhou Ziliang who was trying to soothe him, and staggered forward, saying as he went, "Father..." "The burial is tomorrow, we can't delay, there's no time to rest." "Tang Feng! You stop right there!" Zhou Ziliang had never called Tang Feng by his full name before, and this time, Tang Feng was completely stunned. Zhou Ziliang straightened Tang Feng's body, forced him to look at him, and said seriously, "Do you know how worried everyone is about you? Everyone is saddened by Uncle Tang's death, not just you. What are you doing, wasting yourself like this? He's gone, can't the living be happy too? Tang Feng, I know you have your own thoughts, so I don't stop you from doing whatever you want, but this time, you've gone too far! If you only know how to cherish something after you lose it, then your pity and regret are truly worthless! Don't the people around you who are alive deserve your appreciation?" Tang Feng took several steps back. He had been starving for several days and was overwhelmed with grief, so his body was already unsteady. Hearing Zhou Ziliang's words, it was as if they had hit him right in the heart. Tang Feng gritted his teeth, suppressing the words, "If that's how you think of me, then there's nothing I can do." Suppressing his physical discomfort, Tang Feng turned to leave, but suddenly his vision went black, his legs gave way, and he tumbled down the long steps. "Xiao Feng!" Zhou Ziliang rushed down, helped Tang Feng up, and held him in his arms. Seeing that Tang Feng's forehead was already bleeding from hitting the stone steps, he quickly called out, "Liu Yiwan, Liu Yiwan! Quickly, get Doctor Wu here! Go!"

Wu Hezou took Tang Feng's pulse by the bedside. Seeing Wu Hezou's furrowed brow, Zhou Ziliang paced anxiously beside him. "Can you stop pacing back and forth? It's making this old man dizzy!" "How is Old Wu?" Zhou Ziliang asked hastily as Wu Hezou got up. "How is he? Humph! What else could he be like! You all just keep wearing him down! I bet he'll die from exhaustion one day. How many times have I told you not to worry too much, to rest, and what have you done? Did you listen?" Wu Hezou grumbled as he shoved the prescription into Zhou Ziliang's hand. "Decoct the medicine! Twice a day! Get the fever down first, then we'll talk about the cough! The head injury is nothing, just a superficial wound! Humph! If you do this again, don't come looking for me! I can't handle it!"

After seeing Wu Hezou off, Zhou Ziliang asked Liu to get medicine on the street that night, while he stayed by Tang Feng's bedside. Even in his unconscious state, Tang Feng was restless, with cold sweat on his forehead and muttering incoherent words. Zhou Ziliang felt a mix of emotions. Knowing Tang Feng's temperament, he had still hurt him with his words, and he couldn't help but feel a little regretful.

In his dream, Tang Feng saw Qin Liuliu and Tang Zhaonan. He quickened his pace to catch up, but Tang Zhaonan suddenly turned around and looked at him, opening his mouth as if to say something. However, Tang Feng didn't hear him. When he opened his eyes again, he was already lying in bed. He removed the handkerchief from his forehead, slowly sat up, and leaned against the bed, panting for a long time before recovering. He remembered arguing with Zhou Ziliang before he fainted. Now, no one was in his room. It seemed that Ziliang was angry. Tang Feng sighed. Oh well, the path he had chosen was a path of no return. He didn't expect anyone to understand him. He knew what Zhou Ziliang had told him, but he just couldn't get over this hurdle.

Just then, Tang Feng heard a noise outside. He looked up and saw Qin Jiujiu coming over with medicine. "Sister..." Qin Jiujiu saw that Tang Feng was awake and quickly went over to ask him what was wrong. After Tang Feng fainted earlier, Zhou Ziliang found the blood-stained handkerchief in Tang Feng's arms. Qin Jiujiu took it to wash it, and the more she thought about it, the more upset she became. While washing him, she started crying. "Xiao Feng, are you feeling better? I brought you your medicine." Tang Feng nodded, forcing a smile, and comforted her. "It's nothing, what could be wrong with me? How long did I sleep?" Qin Jiujiu sighed. "Not long. I heard from Ziliang that you didn't sleep soundly." Then Qin Jiujiu sat down beside Tang Feng's bed, as if she had made a decision, and slowly took out a letter from her bosom. "This is Father's will. I didn't dare give it to you the other day because you weren't in a good state. Now I think I've calmed down a lot." Tang Feng looked at the will in Qin Jiujiu's hand. The handwriting was indeed Tang Zhaonan's. Tang Feng opened the letter with some doubt. Looking at the familiar handwriting, Tang Feng's tightly furrowed brows gradually relaxed, as if he had seen salvation. In the letter, Tang Zhaonan essentially said that he and Tang Feng's mother had lived a harmonious and loving life together, and he had originally intended to join them in the afterlife. However, Tang Feng was still young, and now that Tang Feng was married, he could finally rest in peace and give his wife a proper send-off. He also urged Tang Feng not to covet the riches and honors of officialdom, and that it would be best for him to live a secluded life in the mountains. He concluded with the words, "Love comes from free will, there is no regret after the fact, no regrets for the encounter, no talk of debt, born at the wrong time, loving the wrong person, wherever I go is fate." Tang Feng's hands trembled uncontrollably as he held the letter, and tears streamed down his face uncontrollably. Qin Jiujiu, who rarely saw Tang Feng cry, suddenly panicked, "Little Feng...you..."

"Sister, thank goodness, I didn't kill Father!" Tang Feng hugged the bewildered Qin Jiujiu, choking back tears. "I didn't kill him... otherwise, I would have felt guilty for the rest of my life." Qin Jiujiu patted Tang Feng's back, comforting him. "I forgive you for feeling guilty about this... Father didn't mean to blame you, he just didn't want you to step into the court again. Xiao Feng, stop! I don't want... I don't want anything to happen to you. If this family loses you, it will really fall apart." "No!" Tang Feng pushed Qin Jiujiu away. "Sister, I can't. I have my reasons, and I have my purpose... and once I start, I can't stop. But you..." Tang Feng forced a helpless smile. "Your marriage to Liu Yiwan has been delayed again and again. Originally, Father was supposed to preside over the wedding, but now that Father is gone, I will do it! Once Father's mourning period is over... you two can get married! Then live in seclusion in the mountains... and never go back to Xiling."

"I'm not in a hurry, and I won't leave the Tang family. Ever since you rescued me from the brothel when I was a teenager, I've considered myself a member of the Tang family," Qin Jiujiu said gently, as if comforting Tang Feng. "Besides... if we leave, you'll have no home. Alright, alright, don't worry about us. You should worry about yourself! Don't be angry with Ziliang. He's doing this for your own good. Ziliang hasn't slept for three days and three nights to stay with you. You're suffering so much in this room, and he's also heartbroken outside, constantly listening to your every move... afraid something might happen to you." Tang Feng hugged his knees, buried his face in his arms, and complained softly, "But he wasn't here when I woke up... He must be angry with me..."

Qin Jiujiu smiled. "You mean this! You were terrified! Your forehead was covered in blood, your mouth was full of blood, and you looked like a corpse. After Ziliang called the doctor, I told him to rest for a while, but who knew you wouldn't sleep so soundly and would wake up so quickly? Hey? Why did you get out of bed? The doctor said you should rest in bed!" Tang Feng knew that Zhou Ziliang usually indulged him, and this time his anger was indeed due to his own fault. He grabbed a piece of clothing from the bedside and said to Qin Jiujiu, "I'm going to find Ziliang..."

Tang Feng walked to Zhou Ziliang's door and gently knocked. "Who is it?" Hearing that Zhou Ziliang was awake, Tang Feng was about to push the door open, but unexpectedly, Zhou Ziliang locked the door. Afraid that Zhou Ziliang was still angry, Tang Feng whispered, "Ziliang...it's me, please open the door..." Hearing Tang Feng's voice from inside the room, Zhou Ziliang knew that he had recovered quite a bit, and let out a long sigh before sitting back on the bed. But Tang Feng was anxious outside. Ever since Zhou Ziliang confessed his feelings to him, he had never ignored him. "Ziliang...please open the door, I...I was wrong, I really didn't think before I spoke." But there was still no sound from inside the room. Tang Feng was really anxious this time. They had bickered before, but most of the time Zhou Ziliang would give in to him, and a few times, he would apologize and the matter would be over. Looking at the tightly closed door, Tang Feng felt an unprecedented helplessness, his voice unconsciously trembling with tears, "Ziliang... please open the door. I know I shouldn't have locked myself in this room for three days and three nights, but... but the person in the mourning hall is my father... cough cough cough, Ziliang..." The door creaked open, and Zhou Ziliang, hearing Tang Feng's intermittent coughing, finally couldn't wait any longer. He opened the door and saw Tang Feng with a bandage wrapped around his forehead, red eyes, and traces of blood at the corner of his mouth. Before he could speak, Tang Feng threw himself into his arms. Feeling the warmth of his chest, Zhou Ziliang understood. He gently patted Tang Feng's back, only to hear Tang Feng say intermittently, "Ziliang, don't leave me, I really... only have you left..."

Zhou Ziliang gently patted Tang Feng's back, reassuring him, "I won't leave, I won't abandon you, don't be afraid, just... don't do anything extreme again."

"But Ziliang, loving someone and hating someone are both so difficult. The one I love cannot be with me forever, and the one I hate cannot be beheaded and have my blood drunk. Ziliang, I'm really tired. I want to let go of the hatred, but I can't... I dream of Liu Liu every night, and the wound on his neck keeps bleeding..." Tang Feng hugged Zhou Ziliang tightly around the waist, afraid that he would leave again if he hadn't forgiven him.

With Zhou Ziliang's help in Tang Zhaonan's funeral arrangements, Tang Feng was much more relaxed. These past few days, Zhou Ziliang had ordered him to stay in bed and recuperate. Officials who had been on good terms with Tang Zhaonan had all come to pay their respects. Zhang Ruoming waited until most of the mourners had left before saying to Zhang Mobai, "Take me to the backyard; I want to see Xiao Feng." Zhang Ruoming hadn't seen Tang Feng for a long time, and seeing him like this, he couldn't help but feel a pang of sadness. He knew Tang Zhaonan's death wasn't so simple, but Tang Feng was ill, and he didn't dare reveal too much to him rashly. During their conversation, he learned that Tang Zhaonan had left a will for Tang Feng. That meant Tang Zhaonan didn't want Tang Feng to know the truth. Zhang Ruoming gave a few more instructions and didn't linger. After all, he was getting old, and Tang Feng was young; they couldn't discuss many things together. So he left Zhang Mobai to keep Tang Feng company. After his father left, Zhang Mobai quickly went over to him, "Little brother, are you alright? Uncle Tang is gone, and I'm sad too, but you still have us. Please don't do anything rash."

Tang Feng shook his head. "There's nothing I can't figure out... I just feel guilty, I..." Before Tang Feng could finish speaking, he heard Liu Yiwan's urgent knocking on the door. "Young Master, Eunuch Feng is here! You should go to the main hall quickly!" Zhang Mobai glanced at Tang Feng, a hint of worry in his eyes. Tang Feng, however, knew this was his chance. Ignoring Zhang Mobai's objections, he followed Liu Yiwan out. Although it was Tang Zhaonan's mourning period and he was deeply saddened, when Tang Feng arrived at the main hall and saw Eunuch Feng, his expression immediately changed. He greeted him with a smile and quickly bowed, "Eunuch..."

"Young Master, you've lost quite a bit of weight these past few days! Please take care of yourself!" Tang Feng quickly clasped his hands in thanks. "Thank you for your concern, sir. My father passed away, and I kept vigil for three days. It's just that my body couldn't keep up, but it's alright. What brings you here today, sir?" Zhang Mobai, listening to Tang Feng's words, felt a strange sense of estrangement. Zhang Mobai knew Tang Feng's temperament back at Lishan Academy—back then, he was defiant and disregarded all etiquette. But seeing him now, so humble and subservient, he felt a strange sense of unfamiliarity.

“Young Master, your father and His Majesty were old friends for many years. His Majesty was deeply saddened to learn of my father’s passing, so he wishes to invite you to the Tai’an Palace tomorrow.” Upon hearing this, Tang Feng feigned reluctance and said, “Eunuch… my father has just passed away. What does His Majesty want with me? As you can see, I am not in good health, I’m afraid…”

"Ah! Young master, what are you saying? His Majesty has seen your talent." Then, Eunuch Feng looked around and whispered in Tang Feng's ear, "His Majesty will surely bestow an official title upon you." Although Eunuch Feng's voice was soft, Zhang Mobai, having studied martial arts, had sharp ears and caught the gist of it. After Tang Feng saw Eunuch Feng off, Zhang Mobai pulled Tang Feng aside and asked seriously, "Is what Eunuch Feng said true?"

"Maybe! I wish it were true." Tang Feng sat down in the hall, picked up his teacup to drink, but Zhang Mobai snatched it away. "What? Are you out of your mind? I really don't understand what you're trying to do! Back then, Li Yunrui chased after you to offer you an official position, but you refused. Now you say you want to be offered one. You... what exactly do you want?"

"What are you doing? I'm going to seize the throne, you should already realize that! Why ask again?" Tang Feng's expression was calm and unwavering. "I don't agree to this! You're pushing yourself into a fire pit, do you know that?" Zhang Mobai was also anxious. Although he wasn't entirely clear on Tang Feng's recent movements, Tang Feng had indeed been getting very close to Li Yunyu lately, which made him worry. "Of course I know," Tang Feng looked at the anxious Zhang Mobai, without panic or worry, his expression remaining normal. "But if I don't do this, who will avenge Liu Liu!"

"You!" Zhang Mobai sighed, pacing back and forth in anger at Tang Feng. He then pointed at Tang Feng and said, "Why should the living live for the dead? Stop obsessing over Liu Liu's matter. You have Ziliang, you have us. Why do you insist on holding onto Liu Liu's affairs? You are not allowed to go to the official appointment ceremony tomorrow!"

"Whether I become an official or not is my business, and I will also consider my future path. Mo Bai, I know you mean well. The struggle for the throne is a major event. It's fine if you don't help me, but my mind is made up, so please don't try to persuade me anymore."

Seeing Tang Feng's expression, Zhang Mobai was furious, pointing at him for a long time without being able to speak. Finally, he managed to stammer, "I'll assume you've been blinded by greed today. You'd better think this through tonight!" Tang Feng knew that any further explanation would only fuel the fire. Watching Zhang Mobai turn and leave, he didn't chase after him, sighing. Indeed, when misfortune strikes, even drinking cold water can cause problems. Tang Feng silently looked at the mourning hall, as if speaking to himself and Tang Zhaonan, "I also wish I'd been blinded by greed, but unfortunately, I'm perfectly lucid right now... I even envy you all in the afterlife. Grandma said that the living often suffer the most... It's true."

The next day, Eunuch Feng arrived early, saying that Emperor Yun wanted to see Tang Feng at the morning court. Tang Feng nodded, knowing that if Emperor Yun wanted to see him at this time, the matter of being appointed to an official position was practically a done deal. Before leaving, Tang Feng looked back at Zhou Ziliang, "Then I'll be going now."

Seeing this, Eunuch Feng joked, "Young master, don't worry. The young marquis will be going to court soon too. You're just going a little earlier." Tang Feng nodded and was helped onto his horse by Liu Yiwan. Looking at the Tang mansion behind him, Tang Feng felt as if he were walking down a road of no return. There was no turning back.

Tang Feng had walked along Jiming Street many times, but this time was completely different. He was deep in thought when his horse suddenly stopped. Looking up, he saw Zhang Mobai standing in the middle of the street, blocking his way. Tang Feng sighed. Was this a bad start? "Mobai... you don't need to..."

"Tang Feng, get down here!" Seeing Zhang Mobai rushing forward, Eunuch Feng quickly stopped him. "Oh dear, Lord Zhang, what are you doing! Young Master is going to see His Majesty, you can't block his way!" Tang Feng, seeing Zhang Mobai glaring at him, dismounted. "Eunuch... it's alright, Mobai probably wanted to remind me not to be late." Hearing this, Eunuch Feng had no choice but to give up, then said, "Young Master, please also pay attention to the time, don't be late."

No sooner had Eunuch Feng finished speaking than Tang Feng was grabbed by the arm by Zhang Mobai and dragged into an alley. Zhang Mobai shoved Tang Feng against the wall and grabbed his collar, saying, "Are you serious? Are you crazy? You know, the officialdom is like shackles. Once you're bound, you can never break free. Do you think His Majesty is like Li Yunrui, allowing you to come and go as you please?"

"Mo Bai, look at how things have come to this. Do you think I'm joking?" Tang Feng slowly pried open Zhang Mo Bai's hands that were clutching his clothes, then said, "Going to help the Ninth Prince can be considered saving someone."

Zhang Mobai couldn't help but burst into laughter. "Tang Feng, what are you talking about? Save who? Li Yunyu? Where do you get your abilities? All living beings suffer. With your body, you can't even save yourself, so who can you save?"

"I'm saving myself. This is my apology to Liu Liu, and also an explanation to myself. My mind is made up, no need for further words." Tang Feng turned to leave, but Zhang Mobai stopped him. "If you dare to go to the main hall to accept the official title today, we will sever all ties from now on! The rain will cease and the clouds will disperse!"