Life hanging by a thread

Tang Feng slowly stood up and glanced at Lin Siwen behind him. "Take him away. He can't stay here." Lin Siwen picked up Han Jiuhua and followed behind Tang Feng. "Grand Tutor, are you alright? We couldn't have stopped his death." Tang Feng knew this all too well. Xu Fengyan was so persistent; even if Lan Chi showed mercy and let him go, this matter would never end like this. Tang Feng stopped and turned to look at Xu Fengyan in Lin Siwen's arms. "I just feel powerless. Along the way, I couldn't hold anyone back." He then took off his cloak and covered Xu Fengyan's face. "Grand Tutor! Some things can't be blamed on you. Don't blame yourself too much. Besides, don't always worry about so many things. Even if you're young, your body will wear you down." Tang Feng couldn't help but smile bitterly. "I've said before, 'If you have no worries on your mind, then every day is a good day.'" "But now I can't bring myself to say it. Let's go." Lin Siwen carried Xu Fengyan's body to Tang Feng's carriage, then stopped, hesitant. "Grand Tutor... perhaps I should carry him on horseback? Your health isn't good; it's not good to be with a corpse." Tang Feng shook his head. "Respect for the dead. Put him in the carriage. I'll sit outside, and you drive." Lin Siwen cracked the whip and drove off. Tang Feng leaned against the carriage, staring blankly at the sky. Xu Fengyan had looked at the sky like this before he died. What was it in the sky that fascinated him so much? Was it the freedom he craved, or the love he could never have? Tang Feng thought about many things along the way. He thought about the first time he heard music at Qinghui Fang, the letter Xu Fengyan sent him that changed his life forever, and the hairpin he gave him. He knew then that Xu Fengyan wasn't a bad person at heart.

Seeing that the carriage was about to reach the Zhou residence, Tang Feng finally spoke, "Siwen, turn the horse around and go to Qinghui Lane." Lin Siwen didn't know what had happened between them, but he knew very well that this person was indeed very important to Tang Feng, so he didn't ask. He was afraid that asking would upset Tang Feng, because Tang Feng's face was pale, but his spirits were very good. Lin Siwen had heard the army doctor say when he and his father were in the military camp that people who are not in good health are more likely to have problems than those who look fine. Qinghui Lane was nearby, and with few people on the road, they could arrive shortly after bypassing the main road. Lin Siwen helped Tang Feng down from the carriage and asked quietly, "Grand Tutor, should I go in first to let everyone out and disperse?" Tang Feng was, after all, a second-rank official. If someone saw him coming to Qinghui Lane alone, especially since he was married, it would definitely cause quite a stir. But Tang Feng clearly didn't care and walked straight in. The madam of Qinghui Lane naturally recognized Tang Feng and rushed up to him, "Oh! Grand Tutor Tang, what a distinguished guest!" Tang Feng coldly watched the madam's fawning, showing no expression. Tang Feng's status was now high, and the madam... The madam, naturally, would say more, hoping to secure future business patronage. "Grand Tutor, you've clearly come looking for Jiu Hua. I know you enjoy her music, but she's not here right now. If you don't mind, could I find you a few new girls?" Tang Feng pulled a jade pendant from his robes and handed it to the madam. "I know she's not here. Bring me her indenture now." The madam hesitated for a moment, then quickly called over a waiter. "Quick! Go get Jiu Hua's indenture!" She then looked at Tang Feng, delighted, and said, "Oh dear, that girl looks like she'll be rich and powerful. Meeting you is truly her good fortune."

“No, he doesn’t want me to be the one to redeem him,” Tang Feng said softly. “Take the jade pendant and the indenture to the Tang residence. Have Liu Yiwan pay whatever it costs.” He then turned and walked inside. Lin Siwen followed closely behind, then asked, “Grand Tutor, why are you doing this?” “Everyone wants to come into this world cleanly and leave with a clear conscience. I don’t want that contract to bind him. Now that he’s gone, he should be free.” Tang Feng walked around the corridor to Xu Fengyan’s room. He stood at the door for a long time, a dull ache in his chest making him uncomfortable. “I know what you want to ask,” Tang Feng said, looking at Lin Siwen and touching his chest. His head throbbed. "I first met him when I was sixteen. I came secretly to satisfy my curiosity. Perhaps to him I was someone he wanted to assassinate, but to me, he was special." Lin Siwen stood to the side, smoothing her hair that Tang Feng had messed up. Then she saw Tang Feng walk in. "Do you regret it? If you hadn't stepped into this room back then, perhaps executing him today wouldn't be so painful." Tang Feng's hand, which had reached for the dressing table, paused. He then took the hairpin he had given to Xu Fengyan and said in a hoarse voice, "There's no medicine for regret in this world. Some things, once done, are done. There's no going back."

Xu Fengyan didn't have many belongings; what was on display was probably all he had. Tang Feng slowly sat down, leaning on the table. The exhaustion of the past few days had taken its toll on his body, and the pain in his chest was recurring. Seeing that Lin Siwen had almost finished packing, he was about to get up and leave when he saw the memorial tablet on the Buddhist shrine. Looking up, he saw the name "Mother Shen" written on it. Tang Feng immediately understood that this was Xu Fengyan's mother's memorial tablet. He went over, lit three incense sticks, but hesitated to insert them into the incense burner. "Auntie... you taught him very well. He was kind, but the person he loved was not a good man. He betrayed his sincere heart, and it was I who drove him to despair step by step. Now I am here to arrange his funeral. Would you be willing to be buried with him?" He then bowed three times to the memorial tablet, inserted the incense sticks into the incense burner, and... A white cloth covered the memorial tablet as Tang Feng stepped out of the house and said, "Moving the remains is no small matter. Send some people tomorrow to bury Xu Fengyan and his mother together. They couldn't see each other in life, but they should be able to look after each other in death." After Tang Feng finished speaking, he leaned against the doorway to rest for a while. Lin Siwen couldn't help but worry, "Grand Tutor, you don't look well. Why don't you rest for a while?" "No... no need," Tang Feng waved his hand and stood up, supporting himself. "There are many things to arrange, and if I go back late, Ziliang will worry again. It's alright, you can walk ahead and wait for me. I'll walk slowly." Lin Siwen was obviously worried. She carried Xu Fengyan's belongings and walked ahead, occasionally looking back at Tang Feng's movements. Having been on the battlefield, Lin Siwen knew that this was the first time Tang Feng had seen such cruel punishment, and it was no accident that he could still stand here so calmly. Tang Feng walked slowly, leaning on the railing of the corridor. Lin Siwen only knew that Tang Feng was probably feeling unwell, but she didn't know that his blood was churning and he felt weak all over. Perhaps because he had calmed down after doing everything, the scene of Xu Fengyan's death kept replaying in Tang Feng's mind. Tang Feng raised his hand to his forehead. "I can't think too much... Ziliang said it wasn't my fault, but he is... cough cough cough..." Lin Siwen heard Tang Feng cough and quickly went back to support him. "Grand Tutor, listen to me, sit here for a while. I know it's your first time seeing an execution, so it's normal to feel unwell, but you'll feel better after a while." Tang Feng's vision was blurry at this moment. He stood for a while, leaning on the railing, before he recovered. "Okay, I'll listen to you. I'll rest for a while after we go down." Seeing that Tang Feng was obedient, Lin Siwen helped Tang Feng and said, "Don't be so hard on yourself. No matter what, Xu Fengyan was one of the Fourth Prince's people. The road to the throne is full of bloodshed, and there will inevitably be sacrifices. But as for who is right and who is wrong, history will tell everything."

Tang Feng remained silent, not daring to be distracted. He walked cautiously, step by step, until they reached the top of the stairs. He then spoke, "You don't need to help me. It's really inconvenient for you carrying those things. You go down first." The stairs in the corridor were indeed narrow, so Lin Siwen agreed and walked ahead, reminding Tang Feng to be careful. Tang Feng didn't deny Lin Siwen's earlier words. Perhaps witnessing Xu Fengyan's execution had indeed caused him physical discomfort; his stomach was churning, and the tightness in his chest had never ceased. But wasn't he the cause of all this? If he hadn't been blinded by hatred, how could he have agreed to Li Yunyu's request? He had followed the clues all the way to Xu Fengyan, knowing full well that capturing him meant certain death, yet he still allowed Zhang Mobai to go to Lan Chi. Qin Liuliu died because of him, and Xu Fengyan was also driven to his death by him. Yes... It was all because of him that they died. Zhou Ziliang's words were just to comfort himself. Thinking of this, Tang Feng's legs gave way and he tumbled down the long ladder. By the time Lin Siwen reacted, Tang Feng was already lying on the platform, blood seeping from his forehead where he had hit the steps. "Grand Tutor! Grand Tutor!" Lin Siwen shook Tang Feng, and seeing that he didn't respond, she quickly carried him on her back, calling out to him as she walked. "Grand Tutor, wake up! Hey, madam, deliver the carriage and the things to the Tang residence. Delivery fee... delivery fee..." Lin Siwen patted her chest for a long time but couldn't find anything, but she was afraid that Tang Feng's illness would delay her. Unable to get up, he said, "Go to the General's Mansion... no, no, no, go to the Tang Mansion." Seeing that the madam agreed, Lin Siwen carried Tang Feng straight to the Marquis's Mansion. At this moment, Tang Feng was shivering, his forehead covered in cold sweat. He regained some consciousness and realized that Lin Siwen was carrying him. He whispered, "Siwen, listen to me... When we get back to the Zhou Mansion, tell Ziliang to go back to the Tang Mansion to handle Xu Fengyan's funeral. The funeral must not be simple, and it must not be made public... cough cough cough... do you understand?" Tang Feng coughed up a mouthful of blood, instantly staining the fabric of Lin Siwen's clothes red. Lin Siwen quickly agreed, "I know, please hold on, we'll go back right away."

When the old steward of the Zhou family saw Lin Siwen carrying Tang Feng back, he was startled and quickly instructed the servants to fetch a doctor for Tang Feng. At the same time, he invited Lin Siwen inside, saying, "Young General, what's wrong with my young master...?"

"N-no... I don't know." Lin Siwen, who had carried Tang Feng all the way, was still young and inevitably a little out of breath. After putting Tang Feng on the bed, she leaned on the table to catch her breath before speaking, "Is the Grand Tutor alright? He fell down the stairs and hit his head. I thought he was just unconscious, but I didn't expect him to cough up blood." Lin Siwen felt a chill run down her spine just thinking about it. If something serious had really happened, how would she explain it to Zhou Ziliang? A moment later, Wu Hezou was half-dragged, half-carried into the house by the servants. Upon arriving, he didn't forget to hurl a few insults, "Where's your young master? Tell him to come and invite me! His son is sick, and he won't invite me, but you do! Do you think I'm so lowly?" Wu Hezou, however, knew the importance of priorities. While indulging in his verbal sparring, he didn't neglect his physical actions. He placed his hand on Tang Feng's pulse, his brows furrowing deeper and deeper. He stood up abruptly from his chair, shouting, "Boy, boy! Hey!" Then, glancing at the servants and Lin Siwen standing behind him, he asked, "Where's Zhou Ziliang?"

"Young Master has gone to the military camp. Things have been going on lately..."

"Call him back immediately! And tell me what happened to him earlier!" Wu Hezou checked Tang Feng's pulse for a long time; it was weak and feeble, even skipping beats. Wu Hezou quickly administered acupuncture to Tang Feng, then urged, "Hurry! This is a matter of life and death!" Lin Siwen hurriedly replied, "The Grand Tutor went to the execution ground today. He must have been traumatized. When he came back, his complexion was terrible, but his face was calm. Also... he fell down the stairs and hit his forehead." Wu Hezou inserted several needles but saw no reaction from Tang Feng, and grew anxious. "Do we have any nourishing herbs at home? Feed them to him, quickly!" Upon hearing this, the old butler hurriedly ran to fetch the items, which also alerted Madam Zhou and Zhou Wuhai. The elderly couple inquired about the situation and rushed to Tang Feng's room. Madam Zhou, lifting her skirt, entered and asked, "Old Wu, how is Xiao Feng?" Wu Hezou hesitated for a moment and shook his head. "Not good. If he doesn't react soon, he's probably in grave danger. Your young master is barely breathing; it's hard to say. Everything... depends on his fate." Madam Zhou looked worriedly at Tang Feng lying on the bed and then instructed the servants, "Buy all the medicine Old Wu needs. Also, what happened to Ziliang? He hasn't returned yet..."

Tang Feng opened his eyes, looking at the beeping medical equipment beside him. He raised his hand to look at the IV line in his hand, and saw Aunt Li sitting next to him, anxiously looking at him. "Little Tang, Little Tang! Can you hear Auntie?" Tang Feng wanted to speak, but his head felt like it had a concussion, and he couldn't make a sound. Tang Feng didn't know what to do. He was awake here, but what about Yan Yun? Was he dead? If that happened, what would happen to Zi Liang?

Meanwhile, despite Wu Hezou administering several strong medications, Tang Feng showed no signs of waking up. Zhou Ziliang also rushed back from the military camp. As soon as he entered, he heard Wu Hezou say, "It's probably hopeless. At this rate... we should prepare for the worst." The servant who went to deliver the message only said that the young master was ill again, without mentioning how serious it was. Zhou Ziliang was completely unprepared. Hearing this as soon as he entered, he couldn't help but panic. He quickly went to Tang Feng's side. Seeing Zhou Ziliang return, Madam Zhou wiped away her tears and made room for him. "Ziliang, you should spend some time with Xiao Feng." After everyone else had left, Zhou Ziliang asked Wu Hezou in a hoarse voice, "What exactly happened? Xiao Feng was fine this morning! Why are you saying we should prepare for the worst now?"

"You're asking me? Why don't you ask your young master? He's not well, yet he's running around everywhere, going to... to watch some kind of execution. Has this weak scholar ever seen a beheading?" Wu Hezou was furious at Zhou Ziliang's question. He had only remembered Tang Feng's condition after he finished speaking, and his momentum instantly weakened. "Judging from his pulse, he's been restless for a long time. It's not a serious illness, but over time it can become a mental illness. Mental illness can kill a person. You know his physical condition; even a normal person couldn't bear it, let alone him. It's not that I don't want to save him, it's that... he's simply beyond saving." Wu Hezou sighed deeply, shook his head, and this time didn't even write a prescription. He sat down to the side and packed his trunk. Zhou Ziliang sat down beside Tang Feng's bed and gently smoothed his hair. Outside, the soft sobbing of Madam Zhou could be heard. "Xiao Feng, don't be afraid, you'll be alright. Someone will definitely save you. You can't leave me." Hearing Zhou Ziliang's words, Wu Hezou felt a pang of unease. He stood up to leave when he heard Tang Feng cough slightly. "Old Wu, come quickly!" Zhou Ziliang turned to Wu Hezou, who pulled him aside and carefully took Tang Feng's pulse again. He then breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank goodness, there's at least a reaction. Have your servants bring the medicine... Oh, right, I'll give you the prescription." Wu Hezou pulled the prescription from his pocket. "This medicine... never mind, I'll go deliver it. You stay with him." "Okay," Zhou Ziliang said, then inserted three silver needles into Tang Feng's tiger's mouth (between the thumb and index finger). While rotating the needles, he said, "He was in too much danger this time. Don't keep making him take such risks. You're a marquis, you've fought on the battlefield for so many years, you're used to it. He's not. He simply can't take it like this. He should stay home and rest. Why is it so difficult? For a month, don't go running around outside again for a month." Hearing that Tang Feng had pulled through, Zhou Ziliang's heart slowly calmed down. He quickly nodded in agreement, saw Wu Hezou off, sat down by the bed, took Tang Feng's hand, and sighed. At this moment, Tang Feng slowly opened his eyes and saw tears streaming down Zhou Ziliang's face. He called out in a hoarse voice, "How are you? Where does it hurt?"

"I feel terrible, but I feel even worse emotionally." Tang Feng knew that he might really have to part ways with Zhou Ziliang. This time, he was more lucid than ever before. Maybe it was because the anesthesia from the surgery had worn off, or maybe the doctor had given him medication and his body was recovering. In any case, he didn't have much time left.

Zhou Ziliang assumed Tang Feng's discomfort stemmed from witnessing Xu Fengyan's execution, so he comforted him, "You shouldn't have gone to see it. Even military officers are terrified of that kind of place, let alone you." Tang Feng hooked his finger around Zhou Ziliang's, "No... I missed you." Zhou Ziliang hadn't expected Tang Feng to say that. Tang Feng was usually very shy and easily teased, and he would never say something like that himself. Zhou Ziliang smiled helplessly and tucked the blanket up a little more for him, "Didn't we just see each other this morning? How can you say you miss me? Aren't we always together?"

"I had a dream, a lot of dreams. I dreamt we were separated by life and death, parting ways forever. I also dreamt I went to another world, a world where you're not." Tang Feng knew his illness was serious. Wu He Zou might be right; he had no reason to lie to Zhou Ziliang anymore. It would be too cruel to Zhou Ziliang in the future if he could recover. "Xiao Feng, dreams are often the opposite of reality, believe me." Hearing this, Tang Feng didn't have the strength to speak further, only nodding gently in response before falling into a deep sleep. Seeing Tang Feng asleep, Zhou Ziliang got up and went out to give Zhou Wuhai... The couple reported that they were safe, but Madam Zhou was still worried. She stepped forward and whispered, "Xiao Feng's illness is getting worse. You can't let him run wild anymore. He's going to the palace today and the execution ground tomorrow. Even the best body can't withstand such torment." Zhou Ziliang knew this all too well; he understood many things, but he didn't want Tang Feng to have any regrets. However, Zhou Wuhai and his wife still agreed, "Mother, I know. Xiao Feng was just frightened this time. I will take good care of him." "Yes, he is your lawfully wedded son, Xiao Feng..." "There are no elders left in the family. If you don't care about him, of course he'll overthink things," Madam Zhou glanced at Zhou Wuhai. "And you, your son is so sick and you don't even help. Your son's been busy with military affairs lately and can't take care of Xiaofeng. Why don't you go to the military camp and help out? You're so lazy!" Zhou Wuhai was also unhappy to hear this, but he didn't dare say anything to Madam Zhou, so he pointed at Zhou Ziliang's nose and started cursing, "You can't even take care of your own son, and now your old man has to look after the house for you!" Then he glanced at Tang Feng's room and muttered, "I..." "The young master of a noble family, properly married, is so weak. He should have been..." Zhou Ziliang, afraid that Zhou Wuhai would say something wrong and displease Madam Zhou, quickly pushed the old man out. "Father... That's enough. If you continue, neither of us will have a good time. Don't say your young master is unwell. Xiao Feng's temper is much better than my mother's. What you said is unreasonable. Go back now." After getting rid of Zhou Wuhai, Zhou Ziliang was about to go inside to check on Tang Feng when Lin Siwen grabbed him. "Brother Zhou, please wait. Let's talk in private."

Lin Siwen recounted Tang Feng's instructions before he fell unconscious to Zhou Ziliang. After a long pause, she spoke again, "I don't think the Grand Tutor was frightened. Although he's in poor health, he wasn't afraid at the execution ground. What truly terrified or saddened him was perhaps Xu Fengyan's death before his eyes, and his powerlessness to stop it." Zhou Ziliang pondered for a moment, then smiled and said, "My young master, despite his frail appearance, is a man of great loyalty and righteousness. You're telling me this because you're worried I won't arrange Xu Fengyan's funeral, right? Don't worry, I'll handle whatever Xiao Feng asked me to do, no matter how much of a grudge I have."

At this moment, Liu Yiwan stared thoughtfully at the body that had just been delivered and the box supposedly containing his belongings. She looked at the shop assistant and asked, "Are you sure my young master sent you?" The shop assistant nodded and pulled out a contract of indenture from his pocket. "The Grand Tutor also said he wanted to redeem Miss Jiu Hua and told me to come to the Tang residence to collect the money." Upon hearing this, Liu Yiwan immediately kicked the shop assistant, "Go to hell! My young master is already married to the young marquis, how could he still be entangled with Han Jiu Hua? Let me tell you, don't think that just because my young master went to your house to listen to music when he was a teenager, he can..." Liu Yiwan saw the shop assistant... He took out the jade pendant, and instantly fell silent. His mind raced, already conjuring up images of Tang Feng and Han Jiuhua's affair after Tang Feng's divorce from Zhou Ziliang. Just as he was about to speak, Zhou Ziliang rode up on horseback. Fearing exposure, Liu Yiwan quickly covered the shopkeeper's mouth. Zhou Ziliang frowned and asked, "What are you doing?" "N-nothing... I just... didn't expect the young marquis to come." Zhou Ziliang looked the shopkeeper up and down. "Are you from Qinghui Fang?" The shopkeeper, unable to speak with Liu Yiwan's hand over his mouth, could only nod. Seeing that she had been exposed, Liu Yiwan hurriedly explained, "Young marquis..." "Don't be angry! My young master was just being kind-hearted and redeeming her, he didn't mean anything else..." "Give me Han Jiuhua's indenture, and leave the things here. Take this money and the delivery fee, go back and report." Seeing Zhou Ziliang casually dismiss the shopkeeper, Liu Yiwan stood there, stunned, and then asked, "Young Master, are you out of your mind?" "Why would I be angry? You guessed right, Xiao Feng was indeed being kind-hearted, he didn't mean anything else." Then Zhou Ziliang lifted his robe and entered through the door. "Come in with me, I have something to tell you, you must do it well." Liu Yiwan followed. After arriving, Zhou Ziliang instructed, "Make a coffin for this person, using the finest wood, but paint the outside the coffin the color of the mixed wood used by servants, so no one can tell. I will personally inspect it before the funeral tomorrow. You will personally carry the coffin. If anyone asks, just say that a servant from the Tang family has died. Also, after a few days when things have calmed down, go to Qinghui Lane again and bring back the memorial tablet from Han Jiuhua's room." Liu Yiwan was completely confused and didn't understand Zhou Ziliang's intentions at all. She wanted to ask, but Zhou Ziliang interrupted her, "Don't ask why. He has considered Xiao Feng's situation and naturally wouldn't harm you or the Tang family."

After Zhou Ziliang left, Liu Yiwan had no choice but to do as Zhou Ziliang instructed. They made a coffin, placed the body inside, and when Qin Jiujiu came to supervise the work, she saw Xu Fengyan and shook her head repeatedly. "I wonder which of Xiaofeng's friends this was, that Xiaofeng cared so much about him, but to die such a tragic death." Finally, she picked up a handkerchief and gently wiped the dust from Xu Fengyan's face. Zhou Ziliang, having heard Liu Yiwan's report, arrived early in the morning. Looking at Xu Fengyan lying in the coffin, Zhou Ziliang placed the indenture and his belongings inside. After placing it in the coffin, he seemed to feel it was inappropriate and placed the indenture under Xu Fengyan's hand, saying, "Xiao Feng told me this morning that she would definitely give you your freedom. There's nothing else to say. Drink more Meng Po soup and forget everything from this life. Don't worry, Xiao Feng doesn't hate you, no one hates you. You can come into this world cleanly and leave cleanly." Then Zhou Ziliang stood up, patted the dust off his clothes, and said, "Liu Yiwan, you can close the coffin now. Remember, if anyone asks, say a servant has died, understand?"

Looking at the dark clouds in the sky, Liu Yiwan shook his head and gestured to a few servants, "Hurry up, it looks like it's going to rain." The servants, dressed in plain clothes, carried Xu Fengyan's coffin and headed towards the back mountain. Along the way, they encountered many people pointing and asking who had died in their families. Liu Yiwan told them all, but because the scene was so grand, even with the dark clouds overhead, many people still came to watch. Xu Chang'an happened to be leaving court that day when his sedan chair bumped into the funeral procession head-on. Xu Chang'an's servants, seeing Liu Yiwan carrying the coffin approaching, stepped forward and said, "You should make way for Lord Xu!" But Liu Yiwan didn't move aside; instead, he spoke with a hint of arrogance, "My young master is a second-rank official. How dare a mere special official like him shout like that?" The servant wasn't about to back down either, giving a disdainful smile, "What, your young master is dead? Making such a big show of it." At this moment, Xu Chang'an lifted the curtain and saw Liu Yiwan standing there. "What? Another one from the Tang family has died?" Just then, thunder roared in the sky, and large raindrops pelted down. The crowd of onlookers quickly dispersed, leaving only Liu Yiwan and Xu Chang'an's groups. "My family has lost a servant. Because he served my master closely, the young master wants us to give him a grand funeral," Liu Yiwan said. Xu Chang'an glanced at the coffin; it was indeed made of servant's wood. He lowered the curtain and said, "Make way for them. Respect for the dead is paramount." As Xu Chang'an's sedan chair passed Liu Yiwan's funeral procession, Xu Chang'an's heart seemed to skip a beat. He lifted the curtain, looked back, and shook his head. Then, remembering the poem Xu Fengyan had asked him about a few days ago, he recalled that Xu Fengyan had seemed to be asking, "This feeling can only be cherished in memory, for at the time it was already lost."

It had been a long time since Xu Fengyan had left and hadn't returned. Thinking of this, Xu Chang'an said, "Don't tell Xu Fengyan about his mother. Father won't agree. I'm only keeping it from him. If you leak the news, I'll kill you." Then he leaned back in the sedan chair and closed his eyes to rest. "Can this love be cherished as a memory? It was all in vain back then... Why does he keep asking about this poem?"