awkward

“I’m used to living alone,” Zhou Ji’an answered him sincerely.

“When you agreed to marry me, you should have thought that you wouldn’t be able to live alone after marriage.” Deng Yi’s insistence remained unwavering.

Zhou Ji'an quickly said, "I mean I need to have a room by myself, not that I want to have your house all to myself."

“There are plenty of rooms on the second floor, you can choose whichever you like.” Deng Yi picked up a book from the table, turned around, and squeezed it into a spot. “I’ll be putting that apartment over there up for sale soon.”

His words made Zhou Ji'an realize once again how unequal their relationship was.

She could only silently tell herself that everything revolves around money.

Think about all the red envelopes I've received and the rent I've saved these past few days.

Don't futilely reach out for feelings that shouldn't be yours in the first place.

Zhou Ji'an didn't bother asking why he wanted to sell it. His gaze followed the dappled sunlight on the floor as he accepted reality. "Can I go see the rooms on the second floor?"

Deng Yizai looked at her carefully.

He probably thought that her previous fear was all an act.

Zhou Ji'an forced a smile: "I'll go see for myself."

"You'd rather be scared than share a room with me?" Deng Yi said helplessly.

“We’re in a fake marriage, we shouldn’t be living together.” Zhou Ji’an forced a smile.

"There are stairs and an elevator. Since you're not afraid, go up and see for yourself." Deng Yi pulled out a chair, picked up the unfinished paper script, and began to read.

Zhou Ji'an took a deep breath, grabbed his laptop bag, went to Deng Yi's bedroom, took out the clothes Deng Yi had just packed, and dragged his suitcase up the stairs.

She tried to reassure herself as she walked.

Deng Yi's villa is very famous. If anything bad had really happened there, it would have been reported in the news long ago.

The bad guys considered that Deng Yi was a celebrity, always being photographed by paparazzi, and that the villa's security system would likely bypass him.

Thinking of some posts he had come across by chance, Zhou Ji'an raised his hand and knocked on the door before entering the first room.

After knocking, she stood at the door waiting, growing more and more frightened as she waited.

I was even more scared after knocking than before. I should have known better than to knock...

"This house is spotless, don't scare yourself."

Startled, Zhou Ji'an turned sharply and pressed himself against the door. A chill ran down his spine. He grabbed his laptop bag, which was about to fall off, and jumped to the side, only to be caught by Deng Yi.

He must have come up in the elevator.

"You scared me," Zhou Ji'an said stubbornly, while simultaneously hating himself for being so weak.

"Stay with me for a few days first, and move in after you've settled in," Deng Yi advised kindly. "Otherwise, you might be too scared to sleep at night and it will affect your work. Don't blame me if that happens."

The warm breath and body temperature made Zhou Ji'an neither want to refuse nor dare to refuse.

As a genuine renter, Zhou Ji'an certainly understands what "adaptation" means.

In the past, every time she moved into a new home, even with other roommates, she needed a period of time to adjust before she felt safe.

Later, when she had more money and could afford a one-bedroom apartment or even a small two-bedroom suite, it took her even longer to adjust. And every night before bed, she had to prop the door shut with a chair; she even bought a small electric chainsaw and placed it on her bedside table.

That intense sense of insecurity will fade somewhat after she becomes familiar with every detail of her living space.

But occasionally, a single picture, a news item, or a single remark from someone can make me feel uneasy again.

Deng Yi's river-view apartment was the best-security apartment Zhou Ji'an had ever lived in, and since it wasn't far from Lu Jiani's residence, she quickly adapted.

"I won't do anything to you until you agree." Deng Yi lowered his head and gently touched the strand of hair on her forehead with his lips, so lightly that the person in his arms didn't even notice.

"If you're really that kind, you can let me go back to live over there." Zhou Ji'an felt awkward and didn't want to accept the offer.

The long-unheard tone made Deng Yi smile slightly, and his lips finally landed heavily on her forehead, "I'm sorry, I'm not that good."

Zhou Ji'an looked up angrily, but before he could convey his dissatisfaction through his eyes, he was kissed.

His kisses were no different from before. At first, they were light and gentle, subtly guiding her. As she involuntarily clung to him, he deepened and intensified his kisses. Once she completely trusted him, he would immediately become domineering and unrestrained.

Zhou Ji'an got hopelessly caught up in it, completely forgetting what he had said in the study.

Finally, Zhou Ji'an was almost out of breath, and with one hand loosely gripping his waist, she weakly protested, and he finally let go of her.

He only kissed her the whole time and didn't do anything else.

"Why do you like that house?" Deng Yi asked, stroking her luscious red lips with his fingertip to prevent himself from losing his senses again.

Zhou Ji'an felt that his action was even more irresistible to her than his kiss just now, and her breath came out in short gasps, "I... am used to living there... and it's closer to... Lu Jianni's... house."

While she lowered her guard and answered honestly, Deng Yi took the suitcase next to him, then the laptop bag from her hand, and asked, "Was Lu Jianni the one who did your makeup on your wedding day?"

“Yes, we were college classmates.” After saying that, Zhou Ji’an couldn’t help but add details, “We met during a cycling club activity. She majored in visual communication design.”

"If you don't like Wei Jinglin, why have you stayed in the cycling club for so long?" Deng Yi asked as he walked, dragging her things with one hand and holding her hand with the other, trying to distract her.

"It wasn't that long, less than two years in total. Besides, when I was a freshman, Wei Jinglin was already a junior, and he rarely participated in the cycling club's activities. It seemed like he spent most of his time away from school." Zhou Ji'an entered the elevator, and the space suddenly shrank. He realized that he had only been up for less than ten minutes and was now going downstairs again.

Faced with someone like Deng Yi, I really have no willpower at all.

Deng Yi casually asked, "Did you get to know a lot of students majoring in visual communication design during those two years?"

Zhou Ji'an found it strange; who would ask such a question?

Visual communication design is not a common adjective.

“I met some students from different majors.” Zhou Ji’an glanced at him. “Our school’s cycling club is quite famous and has a lot of members because it can be led around Jishi, which is especially attractive to students like us from other places.”

Upon entering Deng Yi's bedroom again, Zhou Ji'an found it hard not to admit his naivety.

The wedding was like a game of make-believe, and the married life is going to be the same.

"Which members left a deep impression on you?" Deng Yi once again folded her clothes into categories and placed them next to his own.

Zhou Ji'an skipped over Xu Zhiyan and answered, "As for Lu Jianni, the others come and go, and I almost never meet them more than once."

“Wei Jinglin once brought a junior colleague to the studio to hang out, intending to introduce him to a job.” Deng Yi paused, observing her reaction, and after a few seconds, said the person’s name, “I think it was Xu Zhiyan.”

Zhou Ji'an's heart skipped a beat. He looked at the man's face, afraid that the struggles he had been holding back for so long would spill out when the man asked him such a casual question.

"Really? I don't remember." Zhou Ji'an avoided his gaze, put his hands behind his back, and looked around the bedroom furnishings with extreme awkwardness.

A person who is not good at keeping secrets will always make unnecessary movements when trying to do so.

Deng Yi watched Zhou Ji'an puff out and tuck in his cheeks, then added more details: "He was also in your cycling club. I heard he later went abroad."

"Really? I have absolutely no recollection of that." Zhou Ji'an continued to feign ignorance.

Deng Yi stopped and steered the conversation back to Lu Jianni, "Should we invite Lu Jianni over to our house?"

He clearly heard Lu Jianni say on their wedding day that she wanted to elope with him, so how could he have asked her to invite Lu Jianni to his home?

Zhou Ji'an stared at him blankly, then stammered, "She...is extremely busy with work."

Deng Yi: "With such a busy work schedule, you still have the time and energy to instigate someone else's bride to elope?"

Lu Jianni comes from a wealthy family and is an independent designer. She doesn't need to work hard to make a living and her daily life is actually not busy at all.

Having told yet another lie, Zhou Ji'an had to become serious. "Lu Jianni thinks marriage is a scam that exploits women in every way. She strongly disapproves of my marriage, especially since we had a whirlwind marriage."

Zhou Ji'an agreed with Lu Jiani's assessment of marriage, so she treated Deng Yi's proposal for a fake marriage with caution.

Later, Zhou Ji'an succumbed to her long-standing longing for Deng Yi and her deep-seated affection for him, agreeing to a fake marriage with him. As a result, she could only often comfort herself that her marriage with Deng Yi was fake, not real, and that she would not fall into a scam.

“She doesn’t know our marriage is a sham.” Zhou Ji’an couldn’t withstand his scrutinizing gaze, so he turned his head and touched the thick leaves of the Monstera deliciosa in the corner, asking, “What’s the name of this Monstera deliciosa?”

She wanted to hit her head immediately after asking the question.

Deng Yi said, "You think so too?"

Zhou Ji'an turned around, pursed his lips and thought for a moment, then replied, "Yes, because the woman needs to get pregnant and give birth, and the responsibility of caring for and raising the child is basically borne by the woman."

“I don’t plan to have children,” Deng Yi nodded, answering lightly. “How about I get a tubal ligation tomorrow?”

The topic went around in circles, and there was even a little incident involving Yu Xi, but in the end, it returned to what they had discussed that morning.

During the symposium, Zhou Ji'an learned that many hospitals do not perform vasectomy on couples who have not had children. He also heard that the reversal rate after male vasectomy is very high, and heard other people give examples of how many men regret their vasectomy.

At first, Zhou Ji'an didn't understand why the re-fertility rate was so high, yet the men still regretted it. Later, he realized that perhaps many men felt it was unnecessary, since they didn't need to suffer the pain if an accident happened.

Deng Yi might regret it later.

No, they're in a fake marriage, and he'll definitely regret it.

He's saying these things now just to achieve what he couldn't achieve this morning.

Zhou Ji'an grinned and said, "We're in a fake marriage, a fake couple. We have no responsibility or obligation to each other, so we can't discuss this kind of thing."