Chapter 73 "It's none of your business"

With the air conditioning on in the car, Ji Tong didn't feel hot, just a little stuffy.

My ears felt blocked, like when an airplane is rapidly descending and the Eustachian tubes don't have time to open, causing a painful blockage with blood in the eardrums.

Ji Tong raised his hand to lower the window a crack, rubbed his ears, and closed his eyes to rest.

Perhaps because she was too tired these past two days, Ji Tong fell asleep without realizing it. When she opened her eyes again, the navigation showed that she was only five kilometers away from the apartment.

"Uncle Kang, what time is it?"

"It's past one o'clock."

Ji Tong pressed his index finger knuckle against his temple and rubbed it hard twice. He looked down to reach for his phone in his pocket, but couldn't find it. He paused for a moment before remembering that he had changed his coat.

The phone was in the pocket of Gu Lin's down jacket.

"Uncle Kang, did your phone ring while I was asleep?"

"No, I didn't hear it."

"..."

The vehicle stopped at the red light.

Ji Tong leaned forward, reached over the armrest box, grabbed the drawstring of the clothes bag, and pulled the clothes back over.

When the plane landed and regained signal, Ji Tong called home and his uncle to let them know he was safe, and also contacted Uncle Kang to ask him to drive the car out of the parking lot.

He didn't contact Gu Lin specifically, but he turned on his phone's ringtone and WeChat message notifications, thinking he would reply after Gu Lin asked.

No, it didn't.

Ji Tong's hair practically stood on end, like a firecracker that had been lit. With a "pop," he ripped open his down jacket pocket, pulled out his phone, and was about to unlock it when he found that the phone was completely unresponsive, the screen black.

The power is out?

Didn't I still have over 80% battery left before I got off the plane?

Ji Tong restarted it, but the screen remained black.

He then remembered that when he got off the elevator and left the parking lot, someone bumped into him at the corner, and his phone fell to the ground.

The person who hit Ji Tong was a young man. When he saw that Ji Tong's phone screen was broken, he kept apologizing and offering to pay for the screen. Ji Tong waved his hand and said that it was not necessary, as it had been broken before.

He didn't pay attention at the time. When he saw Uncle Kang's car driving towards him, he casually stuffed his phone into his pocket and got into the car to change his coat.

It must have been broken when it fell.

Ji Tong immediately said, "Uncle Kang, can I borrow your phone to make a call..."

Uncle Kang was blinded by the high beams ahead: "Huh? What's with the electricity?"

Oh well, the apartment is only three kilometers away, a little longer won't make a difference.

"It's nothing, drive slowly."

Ten minutes later, the car stopped.

Uncle Kang got out of the car before Ji Tong and took out his suitcase.

"Do you want Uncle Kang to help you carry it inside?"

"No need, there's only a little stuff in my suitcase, it's not heavy."

Ji Tong told Uncle Kang to be careful on his way back, said goodbye, and then pulled his suitcase toward the apartment.

It was late at night, and it was a weekday. The apartment building was quiet inside and out, with only the sound of suitcases rolling on the ground.

Ji Tong's pace was neither fast nor slow.

The elevator reached the 21st floor, and Ji Tong dragged his suitcase out. He was looking down, counting the floor tiles to calm himself down, when he caught a glimpse of something out of the corner of his eye as he turned the corner, and he subconsciously looked up.

In an instant, his steps came to a halt.

The voice-activated light detected the sound and turned on automatically, illuminating Ji Tong and the figure at the end of the corridor.

The man was wearing a black coat and matching trousers, and he was leaning against the door.

He held a lit cigarette between his fingers.

The window at the end of the corridor was wide open, and the cool breeze of the early morning blew in through the gap, making the scarlet mark on his knuckles shimmer.

Gu Lin didn't smoke, but the way he held the cigarette looked very practiced.

The corridor was long, and the smoke couldn't have traveled that far, yet Ji Tong seemed to have actually smelled it.

He was stunned by the thought that "Gu Lin smokes," when the person on the other end seemed to be startled by something and turned around.

The two looked at each other silently.

After what seemed like a long time, Gu Lin reached into his coat pocket, took a portable ashtray, stubbed out his cigarette, placed the ashtray on the shelf by the door, and casually took off his smoky coat, hanging it on the umbrella stand. Wearing only a short-sleeved shirt, he walked towards Ji Tong.

Ji Tong stood still.

The two drew closer and closer until Gu Lin stood right in front of them.

From the moment he saw Ji Tong, Gu Lin's gaze never left him.

He didn't say anything, but reached out and took the suitcase from Ji Tong's side.

The movements were subtle yet swift, carrying a sense of restrained composure.

It's more like control than receiving.

It's as if as long as you control this suitcase, its owner won't leave.

When they took the suitcases, their fingers briefly touched.

Gu Lin's fingers were as cold as ice, so cold that Ji Tong's heart trembled.

"...How long have you been standing here?" Ji Tong asked.

Gu Lin: "Half an hour."

Ji Tong gritted her teeth and put the hand that had touched Gu Lin's fingers into her coat pocket.

"Didn't I tell you to wait at the apartment?"

Ji Tong wanted to kick him.

Fine, anyway, he's not the one freezing at the door.

Ji Tong's gaze swept over Gu Lin's fingers, her face cold as she went straight to the point: "When did you start smoking?"

Gu Lin answered decisively: "Two or three years."

Two or three years?

"You started smoking in your first year of high school..."

Ji Tong was stunned for a moment, almost forgetting that Gu Lin was two years older than him.

"Did you start smoking in Germany or after returning to China?" Ji Tong asked again.

"Germany."

"Did you smoke in high school?"

"have."

"several times."

"not much."

"Who else knew you smoked?"

"Tu Jing".

"?"

"How did you know, senior?"

"I've bumped into them."

"..."

"Do you know where A-Yuan and the others are?"

"have no idea."

The breath that had been pressing on his throat was released, and Ji Tong could see the deep restraint in Gu Lin's expression, even though he had already concealed it very well.

I knew he wasn't going to hide it anymore, which is why he dared to choose this time to smoke here.

If he wanted to keep it a secret, Ji Tong wouldn't know.

Gu Lin had always done a good job in this regard; Ji Tong had never discovered that he smoked even after living and eating with him for three years.

"So you stood at the door in the middle of the night, freezing cold, just to tell me you smoke, is that it?"

"No." Gu Lin's voice was hoarse, and his hand, which was resting on the suitcase, twitched as if in a spasm.

Gu Lin closed his eyes and then opened them again, as if he finally couldn't hold on any longer, and slowly took a step forward.

The voice-activated light turned off automatically after the preset time had passed without detecting any new ambient sounds. At the same moment, Ji Tong heard the light switch above him click, along with Gu Lin's voice.

Why is my phone off?

Gu Lin lowered his voice so low that he couldn't even trigger the voice-activated light switch.

Ji Tong suddenly fell silent.

Gu Lin: "You don't want to answer my call, is that it?"

Ji Tong's chest trembled, and a sour feeling rushed from his chest to the top of his head.

Even if she was angry, she didn't want Gu Lin to misunderstand this.

"No." Ji Tong lowered her eyes and took her phone out of her pocket.

The voice-activated light finally came on again, illuminating the black screen that was shattered into a snowflake pattern.

In front of Gu Lin, Ji Tong pressed and held the power button to turn on the phone.

The phone was quite resilient; it didn't betray its owner and remained there, screen off, completely dead.

"I was bumped into when I left the airport, and my phone fell to the ground and wouldn't turn on. I didn't notice."

"I didn't play with it after getting on the bus; I just put it in my pocket and slept in the back seat."

"...I didn't mean to not answer; I had my ringtone and WeChat message notifications on."

Gu Lin didn't speak, and Ji Tong didn't look up either.

Why aren't you saying anything? Don't you believe me?

Just as Ji Tong was about to fiddle with it again, she caught a glimpse of Gu Lin's chest heaving.

…When Gu Lin exhaled that long breath, the end of his voice was also undulating, as if it were trembling.

Ji Tong looked up and only then realized that he had frightened Gu Lin.

Even if it was unintentional.

"I'm sorry..."

"Did you get hit?"

Gu Lin's voice drowned out Ji Tong's apology.

Ji Tong didn't react immediately: "What?"

Gu Lin: "I was bumped into by someone when I left the airport. Did I get hit?"

"...No, I just knocked my phone away," Ji Tong put the phone back in her pocket, paused for a few seconds, and then asked him, "How many calls did you make to me?"

"A dozen or so."

"..."

If I hadn't been sleeping, I would have noticed the problem with the phone sooner and been able to borrow Uncle Kang's phone to make a call.

…or even earlier, before getting off the plane, when I called home to let them know I arrived safely, I sent him one as well.

All the "if only I had known" eventually turned into a sigh. Ji Tong raised her hand and touched Gu Lin's forearm with her warm palm.

"So stupid! Smoking is one thing, but with the wind so strong, you don't even know to close the window."

Gu Lin's forearm was taut. Ji Tong's touch was like a signal of "permission." Gu Lin looked at him intently and finally dared to reach out and completely grasp his hand.

Ji Tong symbolically pulled back a little, then stopped moving, letting him lead her, and gently kicked him with her head down.

"The plane was stuffy all day."

"I want to take a shower."

Gu Lin didn't speak, but responded with a sound of agreement. He held Ji Tong's hand with his left hand and pushed the suitcase with his right hand, walking towards the apartment.

As the two entered, Gu Lin placed his suitcase against the wall in the entryway, bent down, picked up Ji Tong's slippers, and placed them at his feet.

Ji Tong took off her coat, changed her shoes, and went inside.

The two walked into the bedroom together, and Ji Tong stood by the bed, watching Gu Lin find his pajamas and underwear for him.

Gu Lin placed the pajamas in Ji Tong's hands.

Ji Tong took it without looking at him: "You go wash too."

"It all smells of smoke, it's awful."

In fact, Ji Tong didn't smell it.

In the corridor, before Gu Lin approached him, he hung his cigarette-smoke-covered jacket on the umbrella stand.

He was asked to take a shower because he was too cold, and Ji Tong was afraid he would catch a cold.

Did you hear that?

"Um."

Ji Tong picked up her clothes, turned around, and went into the bathroom.

Hot water poured down from the top of my hair, like a warm rain.

Ji Tong leaned against the wall and showered for two minutes. Once her thoughts had calmed down, she turned off the tap and squeezed out the shampoo.

After showering, drying off, and brushing her teeth, Ji Tong put on her pajamas and opened the bathroom door. Gu Lin was standing in front of the wardrobe, fiddling with the broken screen of her phone.

His hair was still wet; it hadn't been dried.

Ji Tong didn't even bother to say anything. She took a few steps over, grabbed Gu Lin's wrist, and dragged him towards the bathroom.

A minute later, the sound of a hairdryer came from the bathroom again.

“Why be so tall? It’s tiring to hold your arms up, you have to bend your head down,” Ji Tong said.

Gu Lin didn't lower himself, and kept looking straight at him. Just as Ji Tong was about to kick again, his waist suddenly tightened. Ji Tong let out a "uh" and before he could react, Gu Lin had already lifted him onto the sink.

The bathroom sink in the master bedroom was much higher than a regular sink. Ji Tong sat on it with her legs spread apart. Gu Lin leaned over and pressed his waist and abdomen against the edge of the sink, which was also in front of Ji Tong. He raised his hands and placed them on either side of Ji Tong's thighs.

Even though Ji Tong's gaze was higher, he felt completely enveloped by Gu Lin's hands that were pressed against his skin on both sides.

"Blow it like this," Gu Lin said.

The hairdryer was noisy, and Ji Tong didn't want to speak loudly.

Blow it like this, keep blowing it.

He silently turned up the fan and temperature settings.

It'll burn you to death.

While thinking "I'll burn you to death," he was actually careful and meticulous when blowing on it.

Ji Tong turned his head to the side, blowing on the air as he reached for the ends of Gu Lin's hair to test the temperature.

His hair seems to have grown a bit longer.

After blowing his hair back and forth for a few minutes, Gu Lin's hair was completely dry.

The moment I turned off the hair dryer, the world seemed to fall silent.

The silence was so profound that even Ji Tong felt somewhat uneasy.

He pushed Gu Lin away from his shoulder, saying, "Don't come any closer, it's so hot."

Gu Lin stepped back two inches, and Ji Tong lowered her head to retract the hair dryer cord.

After putting everything away, I casually placed it on the shelf in front of the mirror.

After drying their hair and putting away the hairdryer, they should have gone out, but neither of them moved. They remained in this intimate position, which was even risky enough to lead to something going wrong, silently gazing at each other.

With a "bang," the hair dryer cord, which wasn't properly wound, suddenly sprang open, knocking the toothbrush cup off the shelf and into the sink.

Neither of them looked.

The intense emotions, mixed with longing, that had been building up for days and nights finally crashed down with that sound.

Why write a will?

"Why do I need to take medicine?"

"Why go to Jiangcheng to take the college entrance exam after you've already come back, instead of going back to Anjing?"

Ji Tong's voice was soft at first, as if she really intended to talk to him properly.

But the more he talked, the less he could control his emotions and tone, and the less he could control his volume.

Finally, she couldn't even hold back her sobs.

"Why did you leave so early?"

"Do you know that there was an empty seat in our class's graduation photo, right next to me?"

Do you think I'd be moved by the will?

"Do you know what the consequences of taking sleeping pills all the time are? Do you know that somatization will get worse and worse? Do you want to die, Gu Lin? Huh? Do you want to die?"

"Do you think I'd be happy to know about your will? Do you think I'd be overjoyed to receive a copy of your will if I were suddenly notified out of nowhere?"

"You never even considered that you're just an asshole."

Ji Tong's scalding tears flowed continuously from her eyes like beads suddenly breaking from a broken string.

Gu Lin raised his hand to wipe it, but he couldn't get it clean no matter what he did, so he could only keep touching it with his lips.

"No," Gu Lin kissed his reddened eyelids and touched the tip of his nose, "I missed him, so I came back."

"Who asked you to leave for six months and then come back!"

"If you like me, why did you leave? If you like me, why did you get sick? Why can't you sleep at night?"

Ji Tong's tears streamed down her chin and neck, quickly soaking her pajamas. "Shouldn't liking someone make you a better person? Why are you different?"

“Gu Lin,” Ji Tong said, as if she didn’t even have the strength to lift her head, “I left you with a scar and made you sick, didn’t I?”

“No.” Gu Lin’s throat felt like it was leaking air, and every word Ji Tong uttered was like a rapidly spinning blade, constantly cutting into his nerves.

He surrendered, kissing away his tears once more, finally exposing his dirtiest and most despicable thoughts to the eyes of the person he loved most.

“I have a private island in Germany.”

"My family doesn't know either."

Two tears still clung to Ji Tong's chin. Hearing this, she looked up, sobbed twice, and stared at him, as if she didn't know why he had suddenly said this.

"The island is small and inexpensive."

Gu Lin's voice was extremely calm. As he spoke, he raised his hand and used the pad of his thumb to wipe away the two tears that were hanging on Ji Tong's chin.

"Because the location is very remote."

"There are hardly any boats passing by all year round."

"We can't get a signal either."

Gu Lin twirled his fingertips and looked at him intently.

"Do you know why I bought that island?"

Gu Lin opened his hand again, cupped Ji Tong's chin, and then intimately rubbed the tip of his nose with him before kissing him little by little until their lips touched.

Finally, a few words were uttered between their lips—

"It's none of your business."

Ji Tong's eyelashes trembled uncontrollably, and the tear that had been lingering at the corner of her eye finally fell.

Gu Lin's kisses became even more tender.

The first time he called out "Tongtong," the two reduplicated words circled in his mouth, sounding as gentle as if he were calling out "Baby."

"You didn't make me sick."

"It's me who's abnormal."