Latest Humor Novel

Text: (Anti-theft set to 70%) (Main story completed)

Mu Ling, living on a rural planet, inherited a zoo left to her by a great-aunt she had never met.

In the interstellar era, alien beasts ran rampant. Those war beasts that were either crippled or severely wounded after fighting on the battlefield against these alien beasts, unable to find a peaceful end, would eventually be sent to zoos willing to accept them, to eke out an existence.

Mu Ling looked at the park full of old, weak, sick, and disabled beasts, unable to imagine how much money she would need to earn to support this whole family!

To promote the zoo, Mu Ling created a star network account and posted photos of the small animals, hoping to attract traffic.

Soon after, a video of an S-rank high-risk retired war beast, a tearing tiger, willingly getting its nails clipped, went viral on the star network!

Then more terrifying videos emerged:

An S-rank Swift Fire Leopard, indifferent even when its tail was pulled!

An S-rank Silver Snow Bear, accepting a bath without resistance!

An S-rank Dark Blood Wolf, actively bringing its cubs to the zookeeper to raise.

Netizens: ???? Sci-fi movie?

What?! These majestic, fierce, S-rank retired war beasts, who become increasingly exclusive and crazy after injury, solitary and gloomy, autocratic, even biting their own masters—can they actually be open for visits?

No, no, no, zookeeper, wake up! Injured war beasts suffer from mental instability and can go berserk and harm people! Don't joke with the lives of tourists!!

-

The first zoo in the entire galaxy that could soothe the mental strength of injured war beasts, allowing them to live a happy and secure old age, appeared. The big shots from various federal bureaus were incredulous and mobilized en masse.

All researchers from the Imperial Military War Beast Department came for a team-building event.

Professors from the five major Beast Taming Academies and a group of outstanding teachers and students all came for an autumn outing.

Officials from the Healing Beast Supply Center rushed to learn.

The dean of the Search and Rescue Beast Training Academy paid out of his own pocket to work there.

Even the President and the First Lady personally visited to inspect.

Mu Ling, raking in money: ...I feel like I can open a branch!

P.S.: The female protagonist has a hidden identity, there's a reason why she's popular with fierce beasts.

As a sect patriarch, one should be majestic and renowned throughout the world. However, Li Yuan, the Grand Elder of Tianqi Sect, was known across the land for his incompetence.

In the Qi Refining realm, he was almost pierced through the throat by a mortal martial arts swordsman.

In the late Qi Refining stage, he was defeated in three moves by a junior disciple ten years his junior, making him a laughingstock.

He barely managed to become a Foundation Establishment cultivator, but was severely injured by a junior Qi Refining cultivator wielding a true treasure, who then escaped unharmed.

In the Golden Core realm, when the sect was in peril and besieged by a hostile great sect at its mountain gate, Li Yuan was once again directly suppressed by a newly advanced True Person in front of tens of thousands of cultivators.

...

Until a thousand years later, when the sect faced the danger of annihilation, the 'incompetent patriarch' who had been enshrined on a spirit tablet suddenly came back to life. With a flick of his hand and a laugh, he unleashed an countless army of puppets, utterly defeating tens of thousands of cultivators.

From then on, 'the patriarch is incompetent' became 'the patriarch is omnipotent'!

[In America, can you get everything you want if you have money?]

[Billionaire and world-class director Link: Yes.]

[Including a healthy body?]

[I'm stronger and more powerful than the world boxing champion.]

[Including those goddesses?]

[In their eyes, I am the god. What they pray for daily and strive for is my gaze.]

[True love? Can you buy true love with money?]

[...That's enough for the interview. This is Hollywood, and you're talking to me about true love?! Someone, throw him out.]

[Alt Account Stream, Semi-Invincible, Conan Fanfiction]

Interview with the protagonist:

Q1: What's your secret to becoming the Black Organization's ace assassin?

Jiang Xia: "Take Conan to the target's house for a walk."

.

Q2: What's your secret to repeatedly recovering treasures stolen by Kid?

Jiang Xia: "His accomplice is my alt account."

.

Interview with the detectives of the Conan world:

Q1: What do you think of Jiang Xia?

Detectives: "Aside from solving cases too fast + being uncontrollable when fighting people, he has no other flaws."

.

Q2: As fellow high school detectives, why don't you team up with Jiang Xia to fight the Black Organization?

Detectives (hurriedly waving hands): "No, no, no, we can't tell him. The dark side of the world is too heavy for him."

Why are there monstrous waves on the Yellow River, and roaring dragons and snakes?

Why is there a golden light stretching ten thousand feet on the peak of Kunlun, and a heavenly palace faintly appearing?

Why does a dragon coffin float and sink beneath the Fusang tree, and an elixir furnace lie withered?

Spiritual energy revives, myths reappear.

I weave a monstrous lie, deceiving all people in the world.

I stand behind the curtain, becoming the mastermind.

"Mr. Chen Mo, do you have any idea why the entire enemy force on the western front collapsed and fled?"

"Yeah, their commander-in-chief, that so-and-so Saint King, died."

"How did he die?"

"Suicide."

"Why did he commit suicide?"

"Who knows, I was having a good chat with him, and suddenly he slapped himself in the head and exploded."

"...What were you two chatting about?"

"Just normal topics, like the origin of the universe."

"...How long did you chat for?"

"A little over an hour."

"How long is 'a little'?"

"Six and a half days."

[Quest One: Upon entering the cultivation world, you've obtained the Foundation Establishment method. Please try killing the 'Undying Divine Dragon'.]

"Bro System, let's set aside the fact that the beginner quest is to kill a dragon for a moment. There's a small problem: I haven't transmigrated."

[Quest Two: The apocalypse has arrived. After awakening an E-grade ability, it's time to show off your skills. Please try a solo fight against the 'Zombie King'.]

"Bro, let's set aside the fact that I'm still in modern times. According to your logic, wasn't I just in the cultivation world? And also, you should at least let me awaken an ability. Me, killing a Zombie King?"

[Quest Three: In a world of all women, you have become the only precious male. Please try to 'sow your sweat' on at least three different targets.]

"Bro, I've never begged anyone in my life. I'm kneeling now, please take me to that world, I'm truly begging you."

...

"Wait, you're calling an earthworm an 'Undying Divine Dragon'?"

"Wait, killing in biohazard mode also counts as a kill?"

"Wait, a mere hum can also count as successful 'sowing'?"

...

[Quest Four: Slay a demon in a brothel.]

"Hehehe."

...

"Uncle, don't laugh, I'm really here to slay a demon!"

"Hands on your head, squat down! Who told you to stand up?!"

"System, you've truly brought me so much misery!!!"

...

This book is also known as: "The System Can Save Me from Dire Straits, But Don't Ask Where the Straits Came From," "If One Can Cultivate Immortality in Modern Times, Then Foot Massage is Also a Path!", and "I Didn't Transmigrate at All, The System Just Insists I Did."

In the cultivation world, you can be as domineering as you want, but there's one person you should never provoke: Lin Yang! Because all his disciples are incredibly powerful!

First Disciple: The Saint Master of Yao Chi, possessing the Phoenix Immortal Body!

Second Disciple: A sword immortal from the upper realm, unmatched in swordsmanship!

Third Disciple: An unparalleled demon cultivator, a formidable figure in the demonic path, who joined the Red Sun Peak and hasn't left the mountain for ten thousand years.

Fourth Disciple: "I am a reincarnated powerful being, so why are all my fellow disciples so formidable?"

Under Lin Yang, all his disciples are unmatched in the immortal realm. As for Lin Yang himself...

Lin Yang: "I'm just a Qi Refinement Stage 3 cultivator, only slightly stronger than my disciples!"

[Mainly Detective Conan, low martial arts suppressing high martial arts, private settings will be marked, this story has no CP, no CP! No romantic implications whatsoever!]

Kamiya Tetsuya just wants to muddle through his time in the Black Organization, waiting for retirement, but there are always strange people popping up.

For example, a certain cat-eyed young man who plays the bass very well, after being sent on errands multiple times by him, isn't angry at all. Instead, he says to him with a complicated expression: "You don't have to be so nice to me."

Kamiya Tetsuya: ?

Another example, he accidentally arrives late while working with a certain blond, dark-skinned partner. Not only is the latter not annoyed, but he also rushes to finish the task, finally saying to him: "You've already carried enough."

Kamiya Tetsuya: ??

Yet another example, he accidentally stumbles upon a scene where a tall, white-haired man with a badminton-like hairstyle is with his child. Everyone stops and looks at him with strange expressions, advising him: "Live well."

Kamiya Tetsuya: ???

One day, a real-time forum suddenly appears before him. Looking at the bizarre, towering threads, Kamiya Tetsuya finally understands what's happening.

[Every time Gin wants to send Scotland on a mission, Kamiya interrupts with an errand.]

[He's already in the mire himself, and he doesn't want to see a good policeman fall, too? Wuwuwu, so touching.]

Kamiya Tetsuya: Wait a minute... who's a policeman?

[Kamiya Tetsuya looked at Gojo-sensei and his students with such a lost expression; he must be thinking of his own students who parted ways... ]

[Sherry didn't even leave him a word before she defected. Wuwuwu, our lonely Kamiya is so pitiful.]

Kamiya Tetsuya: ...Sherry defected? No, he was just curious about the disabled person who could move freely while wearing an eye mask!

Looking at the people around him with complicated expressions, Kamiya Tetsuya: ...He really doesn't have a hidden agenda!

More and more strange filters appear. When the Black Organization finally collapses, and Kamiya Tetsuya packs his bags, ready to go to the police station to serve his time—

Red Side: Kamiya-san, we've heard about your situation. You've worked hard! We'll apply for a special program for you!

Kamiya Tetsuya (lights a cigarette wearily): I'm just a pure black salted fish.

"Changsheng, you offended the Sect Master's son, you must endure... you've already killed him?"

"Changsheng, the target of your mission this time is the lover of the greatest demon in the world, we'll take it slowly... you've already killed them all?"

"Changsheng, this guy has been planning for ten thousand years, he has countless backups, he's only one step away from being invincible in the world, you must be careful... how did you kill him again?"

"Changsheng, after you ascend, you can't be as reckless as you were in the lower realm, you must keep a low profile, we can't afford to offend the gods and Buddhas in the sky... you've only ascended for a day, how come it's Ragnarok already?"

...

Ascend in half a month, become a saint in half a year. Speedrunning cultivation, endless joy!