Chapter 06 Win or Lose

Gu Yunsu had quarreled with Wu Limei many times when she was a child, and she knew very well what her mother was like when she was angry.

When Wu Limei gets angry, she likes to bring up old things, speaks illogically, and has difficulty controlling her emotions. Gu Yunsu has known this since she was young. When she sees her mother crying or laughing, she feels that being controlled by emotions is a very shameful thing, so she learned to control herself since she was young, and in recent years, it is almost impossible for her to not get angry.

This brought some benefits to her life, but also some inevitable disadvantages. She felt painful at first, but gradually got used to it.

But even though she still had some rationality to help Gu Yunsu analyze the situation, telling her that disintegration was definitely not the outcome she was looking for, the emotions evoked by Wu Limei made her not care about that anymore, and she kept cheering in her head: "Fight! Fight! You can win!"

Wu Limei was still nagging, "How did I treat you when you were little? I raised you with my own hands, your father didn't care about anything, and I got up at 2 a.m. every day to feed you. Of course, you don't remember all this, and it doesn't matter if I did it in vain. But after you can remember, I got up early and worked late every day to earn money, and came home to wash your clothes and cook for you. Everything I did was for you."

When talking about the hardships of raising children, Wu Limei talks endlessly.

Perhaps every adult who has become a parent has a lot of grievances to vent, but...are these grievances really just about the pain of raising children? Isn't it a little bit because of their own incompetence that they feel that life in this world is particularly difficult? Moreover, all of this is not the child's initiative. Why should the adults blame the children for the hardship they have taken upon themselves?

Every coin has two sides. Everything has its ups and downs. It's not just raising a child. It makes you work hard, but it also makes you happy. Haven't you thought this through before raising a child?

Gu Yunsu didn’t understand why parents always portrayed themselves as victims?

"If it weren't for you", "If it weren't for you, I could have done it", "You must remember everything your mother sacrificed for you"...

Why put such a heavy burden on children?

"You are an adult now, I can't control you anymore, but you can't be without conscience. You should remember how I treated you in the past. Is this how you repay me now?"

Every time Wu Limei said this, Gu Yunsu couldn't help but wonder if her mother hated her so much? She hated her for ruining her life, so she felt so wronged and so angry.

But... forget it. If she were to talk about her confusion and puzzlement about her mother, she would go on and on like Wu Limei.

At this time, she only thought that what Wu Limei said actually proved that she did not like raising children and felt that raising children was particularly hard, which in turn verified Gu Yunsu's point of view: this was not the life Wu Limei wanted.

Why bother?

But it is useless to say these things, Wu Limei is the creator of gender prejudice: she is the legendary woman who never uses logic when arguing. It is impossible to expect her to discuss things with you without emotion. When you bring this up, you become a "cold-blooded and cruel" bad person.

Gu Yunsu watched Wu Limei complaining while pouring almost half a glass of soy sauce into the meat stuffing.

This time, not only her, but also Li Jianxiong frowned.

Well, it’s over. This time we’re not just quarreling, we can’t even eat, she thought.

Gu Yunsu did not argue with her mother about the "life she wanted". She thought for a moment and brought out her trump card:

"Okay, even if you don't consider me or yourselves, don't you consider Li Yan?"

As expected, Wu Limei finally revealed a look of frustration.

Li Jianxiong also stopped what he was doing.

Gu Yunsu: "Don't you know how important this year is to him? Do I need to tell you? This is related to his whole life."

Although from another perspective we can also say that life is so long that nothing can determine a person's life. But according to the situation of Chinese people, for a teenager, the college entrance examination is the most critical step in his life.

After studying hard for more than ten years, torturing yourself and your parents, isn't it just for this final moment?

Only those who endure the most hardships can become the best; if you don’t understand this, you are not a Chinese.

Wu Limei was speechless.

Since forming this family, her biggest goal has been to be a good wife and mother and to help Li Yan complete the important event of his life, the college entrance examination.

But now she is about to become the person who brings the greatest negative impact to the other party, which is definitely not her intention.

Gu Yunsu looked at the two men and was a little proud. He continued, "It's not enough for other people to focus all their attention on the college entrance examination candidates, but you guys are so careless and want to grab their attention. You really delayed his future. Can you be responsible?"

Li Jianxiong finally interrupted weakly: "But Yanyan is already in his second year, he has experience——"

"So if it doesn't work this time, it doesn't matter if he comes back for the third or fourth year?" Gu Yunsu interrupted him and accused him a little aggressively, "Uncle Li, don't you think you don't care enough about your son? He didn't live with you since he was a child, and he only moved back in his senior year of high school. He must have a lot of difficulties to adapt to, but have you cared about his needs? For example, now that you want to have a baby, have you asked for his opinion?"

Li Jianxiong was questioned so hard that he could not say anything.

Gu Yunsu imagined that she must be very bitchy at this moment, beaming with joy and pretending to be a goddess of justice, but it was okay, she didn't care, she just liked the feeling of standing on the moral high ground.

She was about to speak again, but Li Yan came out of the bedroom.

I don't know how much of the conversation between the three people he heard, but he walked into the restroom as if no one was around, without even looking at them.

Li Jianxiong and Wu Limei seemed a little embarrassed, but Gu Yunsu thought it was just right. When Li Yan came out of the bathroom, she took advantage of the situation and called him, "Li Yan."

She seldom called her brother by his name, so he was a little surprised and just stood there looking at her.

Wu Limei realized what her daughter was going to do and warned her angrily, "Gu Yunsu!"

Gu Yunsu shrugged at his mother, looking like he had given up, "I'm just asking casually, what are you afraid of?" He turned to look at Li Yan, "What do you think about them having a baby?"

Li Yan: …

Gu Yunsu continued: "They are fighting over this and that, don't you have any opinions?"

Li Yan still said nothing.

This reaction was not what she expected.

In fact, she didn't expect the other party to give a satisfactory answer. She asked this question just to embarrass Wu Limei in front of the two men.

Wu Limei was really angry: "Gu Yunsu, please stop talking nonsense!"

Gu Yunsu knew that talking about it now would only have a counterproductive effect, but sometimes people argue and argue and come to the conclusion that the matter is no longer important and they just want to vent their anger.

So she didn't stop herself, and looked at her mother with a very mocking attitude, sneering and asking: "Why, are you feeling guilty? Are you afraid that your good son will say something from the heart and destroy your self-perception of being a good wife and mother?"

Wu Limei was almost speechless with anger. Her anger rose to her chest and then pushed down, then rose up again. She frowned, half disappointed and half disgusted, and said, "How could I raise someone as unfilial as you?"

Gu Yunsu snorted coldly.

Wu Limei stopped arguing and looked at her with disgust and cold eyes:

"How can you be so selfish and cold-blooded? If I were as utilitarian as you and analyzed whether I should have you or not, you wouldn't have been born into this world."

Gu Yunsu knew that she must have been hurt, but she was ready to ignore those weak feelings for the time being. She snorted coldly and argued in her heart, I was born into this world not because you are not utilitarian, but because your husband wanted it and you want to satisfy him.

Wu Limei continued:

"I don't give a damn about your life, but you boss me around. What right do you have?"

"If you really want to be in charge, clean up your own mess first."

"You are just like your father, self-righteous, but actually more stupid than anyone else."

Gu Yunsu doesn't like Gu Kangqi, so she is most annoyed when her mother links her with him. When she was little, she always thought, it was you who chose the person, but I have to bear the consequences.

The person she least wants to be like in the world is her father, but she can't get rid of this blood relationship. She is exactly the same as him.

Maybe this can also explain why, for a while, she hated herself so much.

Gu Yunsu couldn't tell whether it was because it was too embarrassing to be evaluated like that by her mother in front of the other two people, or because every word hit her sore spot, or because Wu Limei's disgusted expression was too hurtful. In short, she felt tired and sad, and at the same time, countless grievances and anger were churning in her heart.

That's why she doesn't like quarreling.

It is so hurtful, not because of the aggression and hysteria, not the language itself, but because you will find that the other person hates you so much. The disgust that is usually covered up and embellished appears nakedly during the quarrel, breaking all the false harmony.

Everyone is trying their best to find a sword that can hurt the other person. The closer the relationship is, the more severe it is, because the troubles and sadness that you usually confess will become countless poisonous darts and pierce into the soft belly that you inadvertently expose.

Gu Yunsu always quarreled with Wu Limei when he was a child, but it seemed that he had never confronted her so fiercely since he became an adult.

Li Jianxiong stood aside, wanting to mediate but not daring to do so. On one side was his wife, and on the other was his 28-year-old "daughter." He said neither of them was good.

Seeing Li Yan still standing there with a puzzled look on his face, he waved his hand and said, "Yanyan, go back to the house first."

Li Yan left "obediently".

Gu Yunsu looked at Wu Limei and was angry with himself because even at this time, she was still able to think rationally.

Whether Wu Limei was right or not, and how to refute her, my brain was working diligently without stopping for a moment.

So even a part of her agrees with Wu Limei: Maybe she is just cold-blooded.

Gu Yunsu said, "No matter how much you look down on him, he is still the one you gave birth to and raised. Even the Gu Kangqi that you look down on was chosen by you. Now you blame me? It's not right, right? Besides, I inherited my cold-blooded and selfish nature from him. Are you sure? The decision you made now is not only to make yourself happy, but also to consider who else among us? If I refuse to make sacrifices, you will scold me like this. Even the world hegemon is not as powerful as you."

She stood up, determined to put an end to the argument.

"Oh, one more thing," she said, "stop bragging to Uncle Li about your cooking skills. Try the dumplings you make to see if they are meant for people to eat."

After saying that, he left without listening to the other party's answer.

Behind her, Wu Limei cried to her husband:

"Why isn't it for human consumption?!"

"My life is so hard! I have such a daughter!"

"She always thinks she's right!"

I am always right, Gu Yunsu said to himself, always right.

Anyway, that night, Li Jianxiong went out and bought another portion of meat stuffing.