Chapter 28 Lonely Christmas

The north wind blew, and the yellow leaves on the trees fell off one by one.

Gu Yunsu shuddered and his teeth chattered twice.

She remembered why this scene seemed familiar, because she had just experienced the same thing with Qin Yuxuan not long ago.

The same tall poplar trees, the same roadside with yellow lights on, the same nervous mood, and the same herself. Except for the different men, the plot is no different.

With this in mind, she is indeed a charming and romantic figure, a role model for contemporary young women who play with the opposite sex.

Apart from the unstoppable condemnation of conscience: Be a human being!

Gu Yunsu herself couldn't bear it a bit, because if she put herself in another position and thought about it, if Xu Wenbin told her now that he had just met and kissed his ex two weeks ago, she would definitely feel disgusted.

She didn't want to be so timid, but it was precisely because she wanted to have a serious relationship that her obsessive-compulsive disorder became so serious. She also felt that she should be honest with him, so she was hesitant for a while.

Xu Wenbin asked her, "I'm sorry, what's wrong?"

"No..." she said.

Suddenly, she recalled the conversation between Wu Limei and Gu Kangqi when she came to the mall to reconcile with him.

"Are you done talking?" Gu Yunsu asked her mother.

"Yeah." Wu Limei nodded, as if she was thinking about something, but no one could tell what she was thinking.

Gu Yunsu tried to read his expression but to no avail, so he continued to ask, "Did you tell him?"

"What?"

"About your pregnancy."

"Yeah." Wu Limei nodded again, pursing her lips as if she was making a decision.

After a half-minute silence, she said, "Should I tell your uncle Li?"

"Of course not!"

What did Gu Yunsu say at that time?

It was probably half a joke and half serious, saying that in the underworld, the worst thing to do is to be ambiguous and indecisive, and once you make a decision, don't change it. Look at those cannon fodders, they are all indecisive and wavering.

Wu Limei smiled and shook her head, then slapped her away.

You see, reason always works when it comes to other people.

I just can't get over it.

Xu Wenbin looked at her anxiously, and it was obvious that he was worried that he had done something wrong and had made others dislike him.

Gu Yunsu is still soft-hearted. For others and for herself, she cannot let Xu Wenbin make such an "ignorant" choice, nor can she guarantee that she will keep this little thing in her heart for the rest of her life.

Thinking of this, she decided to burn her boats, took a breath, and said, "There is something I think I should talk about first."

He told everything about his relationship with Qin Yuxuan. Fortunately, he still had the little bit of common sense left and did not say that he stood up for his ex. He just said that the other party suddenly invited him and they had a quick meal together.

"That's it. I've made it clear. We're completely done with each other."

Gu Yunsu concluded, staring at the other party with a burning gaze, as if he wanted to stare through him.

My heart was in turmoil, yet also hot with anxiety. The little flame in my heart was waiting, waiting.

Xu Wenbin's expression remained unchanged, which indeed gave people the illusion that this matter was nothing to him and would not affect his pace forward at all.

At this moment, Gu Yunsu did not forget to comment on him: very calm, not irritable, very good, and very cultured.

Then he raised his head and said to her politely, "I need to think about it."

In a corner store not far away, the Christmas carol was reaching its climax: "All I want for Christmas is you!"

Gu Yunsu suddenly remembered, oh yes, today is Christmas Eve.

"What the hell are you thinking about!" Luo Jingjing cursed angrily after learning about her friend's Christmas Eve adventure, "Who does he think he is? Why is he thinking about it? Change someone, sister, this guy is no good!"

"He was fine. At least he didn't show any sign of blaming me."

"That's why it's not okay! Does he have feelings for you? Why is he so calm at this moment? Is that right? I'd rather he argue with me than let him 'think about it'. What is he thinking about? Do I have to stay faithful to him before we're even together?"

"That's not what I mean..."

"What do you mean? You!" Luo Jingjing was very upset. "You are just too weak! That's why you are bullied like this!"

That's true.

Gu Yunsu was not feeling sorry for herself. She had really analyzed her situation countless times from an objective perspective, trying to find out why she had done so badly in this society, and weakness was one of the accusations.

There are many reasons for weakness, such as timidity, cowardice, kindness, and love of face. When all these reasons are put together, the outward manifestation is not to be hostile to others, to endure as much as possible, and to comfort oneself by saying "endure for a while and the storm will be calm; take a step back and the sky will be vast."

But in this society, natural selection and survival of the fittest, although cruel, are the true laws of nature.

Only those who are decisive in killing can become a great hero. Why was Cao Cao successful? Wasn’t it because he had the realization that “I would rather let the world bear my responsibility”?

When Gu Yunsu was still a hot-tempered teenager, he was very unwilling and wondered why the world was like this?

"Killing and setting fires bring gold belts, repairing bridges and roads brings no corpses." In the movie, Anthony Wong smokes a cigarette with a sad look on his face, "The world shouldn't be like this, and people shouldn't be like this, Chen."

Gu Yunsu cried when she read this line. Idealists and heroes found a resonance for justice in this line. She thought sadly that this world was wrong and it was those shameless people who made it dirty.

But later she realized that it was not about right or wrong, but that she did not know enough about the world.

Ideals may be ideals, but reality is different. The complexity of human nature makes the entire society maintain its unchangeable diversity, and victory and advantage always belong to the predators. Heaven and earth are cruel and treat all things as straw dogs. This is the cruel yet beautiful reality.

When people reach this age, a lot of anger disappears and they can finally look at problems rationally.

It's okay to be weak, Gu Yunsu has now accepted her fate. A soft heart can't be cruel. She likes herself this way and is not ready to change to adapt to this world. The only thing she has to learn is to accept defeat. If she becomes such a person, she must accept the corresponding bitter fruit.

After accepting it, I no longer felt so unwilling.

Just like now, she chose to tell Xu Wenbin the truth, and was prepared for him to blame her and give up on her. Of course, there were still many disappointments, but she did not blame anyone.

She couldn't help but think of Wu Limei. At first she laughed at her for being stupid, but when the same thing really happened to them she realized that the two of them would make exactly the same decision.

It was Christmas day, and Gu Yunsu sent Wu Limei and her husband out on a date early in the morning; Luo Jingjing was going to have dinner with her boyfriend, so after talking to her about this, she hung up the phone in a hurry.

She absentmindedly wrote a few lines on the computer, and it was getting dark.

Xu Wenbin sent a message earlier, saying that he was about to board a plane and might be a bit busy in the next two days, and he would find a chance to contact me later.

Gu Yunsu agreed, but he couldn't stop feeling disappointed.

She knew that Xu Wenbin was not lying. He had already said that he was going on a business trip during Christmas. The two of them had just made an appointment on Christmas Eve, saying that it was company training, so it was normal for him to be busy.

But even though she knew it, she felt that this was just an excuse for the other party to stop contacting her.

I put my phone down and picked it up again. Even though I knew there would be no expected messages, I still couldn't help but open WeChat. I clicked on the little red dot on my Moments out of boredom and casually checked the updates.

Ha! What did you see?

Qin Yuxuan didn't know where the girl came from, but he took a photo with her holding hands.

Caption: Just be Santa Claus delivering dog food for once.

Good guy, Gu Yunsu thought, what a good guy, when a man is a mean person, he is invincible.

Although he had long guessed that the other party had more than one backup, he dared to come back and tease her when he had progressed to the point where he could make an official announcement at any time. He was really shameless to a certain extent.

What's the big deal, she thought again, it's no big deal. She could have made an official announcement a day earlier than him.

It's just that I ruined it.

Do all exes have this kind of competitive spirit? Who gets over the heartbreak and finds the next partner earlier than the other, who is happier, who quietly turns ugly, exes who haven't deleted each other are all standing targets, constantly reminding themselves that if they don't live well, they will be laughed at.

I was mentally prepared, but the reality still made me so sick that I coughed up blood.

If I had known earlier, I would have endured it for two days, and then confessed to Xu Wenbin later, she said to herself in a mocking tone, and then thought sadly, since I can't endure it for a lifetime, it doesn't matter if I feel pain sooner or later.

She didn't regret confessing, but she regretted being entangled with Qin Yuxuan.

Why did she want to fight him when she knew he was a dragon? There was a sexual tension, but how could she, who was so rational, be so immersed in the pleasure of indulgence that she couldn't extricate herself?

At this rate, how can she find the right person to love, know and spend the rest of her life with?

She will grow old alone!

The holidays make lonely people lonelier.

The more Gu Yunsu thought about it, the more this made sense. She would run away when she met a bad guy, and would not want to be with a good guy. So, wouldn't it mean that she would never be able to fall in love or start a family for the rest of her life?

She originally had many concerns and doubts about marriage, and now, the possibility of her getting married can be eliminated right at the source, putting an end to it once and for all.

If you don't get married, what about children? Do you want them?

In fact, giving birth to this baby was equivalent to giving Wu Limei a child for free. It would be more accurate to say that she had a younger brother or sister, or even a son or daughter. If she took good care of the child and the relationship between them was strong, it would not be impossible for the child to take care of her until she was old. Wu Limei's so-called "raising children to provide for old age" is no longer an excuse at all.

But what if she wanted a child of her own?

The crux of the problem is that Gu Yunsu is not clear now.

Whether it was marriage or children, she had not thought clearly whether these were necessities for her.

She may not want it now, but she may want it in twenty years.

Gu Yunsu is used to leaving a way out for herself, especially for such major life events, she hopes to keep all her options.

You can get married at any time, and you may meet your true love at the age of 50 like Wu Limei did, but what about the children?

In an instant, the question pointed to a clear answer.

frozen eggs.

Gu Yunsu is not just thinking about it.

She had had this thought before, but it just flashed through her mind and never took root in her heart. But now that she thought about it again, she felt an uncontrollable urge to do it.

The point is, life is too dull, too routine, and too much of a test of one's acceptance of the ordinary. Gu Yunsu is trapped in this unchanging life with no end in sight, and feels like he can go crazy at any time.

She wanted something different, a different lifestyle, something new, whatever it was.

Now that she thought about it, the reason she got entangled with Qin Yuxuan might be because of her resistance to the boring daily life. She wanted a little excitement too much.

It's true that she knows nothing about this kind of high-tech method, and she also vaguely understands that it is definitely not foolproof, but if this attempt can bring her the possibility of another life and does not hurt anyone, she really wants to give it a try.

Wu Limei and Li Jianxiong went to pick up Li Yan halfway, and returned home with a lot of bags. As soon as they came in, they called Gu Yunsu: "Hurry up, I bought some roast duck, eat it while it's hot."

Gu Yunsu: "Why don't you eat outside before coming back?"

"Hey, there are too many people in the mall, we don't want to squeeze with them." As he said that, he suddenly remembered something and took out two Christmas socks from his shopping bag and handed them to Li Yan and Gu Yunsu, "Write down what gifts you want."

Gu Yunsu laughed: "Why are you still doing this? Besides, we've got our own lives."

"What does it matter? You made a wish on Christmas and I'll make it come true on New Year's Day." Wu Limei said with a smile, "I'll fulfill my wish to be Santa Claus."

If someone offered to help you realize your wish, would you still say no?

Gu Yunsu nodded, hesitated for a while, and wrote four big words on a piece of paper and stuffed it into her socks: I want to freeze my eggs.