Shen Zhenbang and Qin Peilan have been through thick and thin together for nearly forty years.
Throughout most of his life, he never lost his temper with his wife, nor did he ever utter a harsh word to her. He was always gentle, considerate, and tolerant.
Therefore, his low growl just now completely stunned Qin Peilan.
She suddenly raised her head, her eyes blurry with tears, and looked at her husband with astonishment on her face.
This startled Zhou Qiqi, who was standing next to her. She had never seen her usually composed father-in-law act like this before.
For a moment, the room was very quiet.
Only Shen Zhenbang took a deep breath and stepped forward to Qin Peilan.
Instead of continuing to get angry, he reached out his calloused hands and gently supported his wife's trembling shoulders, helping her to look him in the eye with her tearful eyes.
His gaze was complex, churning with the same pain as Qin Peilan's, yet also holding a hint of determination. His voice was low as he asked, word by word:
"Perrin, wake up! Stop lying to yourself! Tell me, how long are you going to hide?!"
These words struck Qin Peilan's deepest heart, leaving her nowhere to hide.
Qin Peilan trembled all over, as if all her strength had been drained away. She closed her eyes and did not open them for a long time.
Hot tears welled up silently and rolled down her cheeks without a sound.
The previous hysterical excitement and resistance gradually subsided.
Instead, there was a deep sense of powerlessness and sorrow.
How could she not know?
All these years, I've been running away, desperately running away.
I use busyness, illness, and excessive protection of Zhouzhou to numb myself, to avoid thinking about my two sons whose fate is unknown, to avoid thinking about that tragic night, as if as long as I don't mention it or think about it, those things never happened.
Seeing that his wife had finally calmed down and was no longer fighting with her emotions but beginning to face her inner self, Shen Zhenbang tightened his grip on her shoulder slightly and softened his tone, saying:
“I know you’re suffering, but am I not suffering too? That’s why we’ve both chosen to hide all these years, like cowards.”
"It's not your fault, Perrin. Choosing to close your eyes and keep quiet back then did make it a little easier to breathe, at least... to catch your breath. Before this, I thought the same thing, that if I didn't mention it, it would be like it never happened, and I could just take it one day at a time..."
He paused, then turned his gaze to Zhou Qiqi, whose eyes were also red-rimmed. His eyes held a complex mix of gratitude, and his tone softened further:
"But a few days ago, after pouring out everything I'd kept inside to Qiqi for so many years, it felt like a huge weight had been lifted from my heart, and suddenly... I felt so much lighter..."
He looked at his wife again, his voice low and earnest:
"It just dawned on me then that what happened was already done, and no matter how much we try to hide, it won't disappear. Those things have always been here."
He pointed to his heart.
"Here too,"
He then pointed to his head and continued:
"Ask yourself honestly, have you really forgotten? So many nights, I've felt your pillow was wet... Do you, like me, always dream... of going back to that place?"
Qin Peilan did not deny it, but simply closed her eyes and let the tears flow even more profusely.
In the past few years, has she ever slept a single night, not even a peaceful one?
At night, she dreamt of her eldest son turning back to smile at her amidst the smoke of war at the border, only to disappear again in the blink of an eye.
She dreamt that her second son and daughter-in-law were standing in front of her, covered in wounds.
More often than not, I dream of my little boat tied up in a dark dungeon, crying out for help, but I can't reach it no matter what I do...
The more you try to keep quiet about it, the clearer those images become in the dead of night.
Has her heart ever been truly at peace for even a moment?
Zhou Qiqi looked at her mother-in-law, who seemed so fragile that she could break at any moment, and listened to her father-in-law's painful yet sincere analysis.
I felt like my heart was being soaked in acidic water, both astringent and swollen, and tears had already filled my eyes, blurring my vision.
Zhu Yingying, who was standing to the side, felt a pang of sadness as she watched this scene. She silently took out her handkerchief and handed one to Zhou Qiqi.
He then took out another clean piece of paper, gently touched it to Zhou Qiqi, and gestured for her to use it to wipe Qin Peilan's tears.
But Zhou Qiqi gently shook her head, stopping him with her eyes.
She knew that now was not the time to rush to comfort her.
These pains, fears, and sorrows had been building up in the mother-in-law's heart for three whole years, becoming a festering sore that she dared not touch.
At this moment, it must be allowed to flow completely, so that these emotions that have been suppressed for too long can be fully released.
Only by removing the rotten flesh can the wound truly begin to heal.
Qin Peilan closed her eyes and let her tears flow silently for a long time, as if she wanted to drain all the bitterness that had been accumulating in her heart for the past three years.
Listening to her husband Shen Zhenbang's heartfelt words, she slowly came to her senses.
On the surface, her hysterical opposition just now was to protect Zhouzhou and prevent the child from suffering, but if you think about it more deeply, wasn't it also because she was terrified herself?
She was too afraid to touch that bloody memory again, wishing she could bury it forever in the deepest soil and pretend it never happened.
She cried for a long time and remained silent for a long time, until the sky outside the window darkened a bit, before Qin Peilan slowly opened her swollen eyes. Her voice was hoarse but much calmer as she spoke:
"Old Shen, you're right, we can't run away anymore, I...I'm not running away anymore!"
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