This feeling of guilt and self-blame always accompanied Jian Xiu, and when he was discharged from the hospital after treatment for his leg injury, he found that there was something wrong with his hand as well.
His hands would tremble when he made subtle movements.
Although this situation is not common, surgery is such a delicate matter that he could no longer stay in his job as a doctor.
He chose to resign voluntarily.
On the other hand, he also rejected the invitation from the medical university.
Because even as a lecturer, he occasionally needs to operate, and he doesn't want to expose his shaking hands in front of others.
Afterwards, he saw a psychiatrist.
Just like he panicked after losing his glasses, his hand tremors were also a psychological barrier. He knew where the problem lay, but it was not something that could be overcome overnight.
Later, when his cousin Lin Qingxue's pet hospital was short of staff, he came over.
He went abroad after the college entrance examination. In order to relieve their loneliness, his parents got a dog. The first dog they got was not Eggplant, but another golden retriever.
But the golden retriever fell ill when it was over two years old and could not be saved even after being sent to the pet hospital.
So Jian Xiu applied for a veterinary-related major at school and achieved success in his studies.
Later, when his friend's golden retriever gave birth, he happened to be back home for vacation and happened to encounter the birth. He was the one who delivered Eggplant himself.
He had already agreed with his friends to get a puppy for his parents to raise, and this puppy later became Eggplant.
Perhaps it is because of this special fate that Eggplant has always been particularly close to him.
Just as he needed a change of environment, he brought Eggplant to the pet hospital.
Here, he can still save lives and heal the wounded, and what surprises him is that his hands don't shake when he performs surgery on dogs.
Perhaps this is another window God opened for him.
Because he still had a place to turn his talents, he did not become completely decadent.
After listening to Jian Xiu's narration, Fang Jianjin realized that he had experienced so much and shouldered so much.
The scene of the first time I saw him suddenly came to my mind. Come to think of it, it should have been not long since he experienced all these things. No wonder he exuded an icy aura that kept people away at that time.
"The surgery only has a 5% success rate. Doesn't that mean it can only be successful if a miracle occurs? Jian Xiu, although you are better than many people, you must accept that you are just an ordinary person, an ordinary heart surgeon. I believe that no one else can do better than you. Surgery is inherently risky. You shouldn't keep trapping yourself like this. I believe your uncle and aunt don't want to see you blaming yourself like this."
Fang Jianjin looked into his eyes and preached solemnly.
"Xiao Jin, I..."
Long-term guilt and self-blame cannot be relieved overnight.
Fang Jianjin had no intention of saying more to him. Instead, he reached out and took off his glasses, then leaned over to stop him from speaking.
Between lovers, some communications can make the other person understand their feelings without words.
Eggplant, who was standing aside, turned his head to look at the two people on the sofa, and finally decided to turn around and watch TV by himself.
The picture on TV had stopped, frozen at the beginning of the film. It lay on the carpet and whimpered.
*
Time flew by next.
Jian Xiu no longer needed to use a wheelchair to hide the fact that he could stand up. Fang Jianjin accompanied him as soon as she got off work. At first, they could only walk around the pet hospital, but later they could walk the dog together in the community.
By the end of the year, Jian Xiu could almost throw away his crutches.
That day, Jiang Zuo came to the pet hospital to see him.
As his former colleague and friend, Jiang Zuo was undoubtedly happy and touched that he was able to stand up and walk again.
"Now that your legs are almost fine, are you really not planning to go back?" Jiang Zuo asked a similar question to Fang's father before.
Jian Xiu looked at his hands and replied, "Let me think about it."
Jiang Zuo sighed, and even the tea in his mouth tasted bland.
When he was about to leave, he happened to meet Fang Jianjin who was rushing home from get off work.
"Doctor Jiang!" Fang Jianjin greeted him.
"Hey, sister-in-law!" Jiang Zuo was about to leave, but when he saw her, he suddenly thought of something and quickly reached out to pull her aside.
"What are you doing?" Fang Jianjin asked curiously.
"Hush!" Jiang Zuo said mysteriously, then said, "Jian Xiu is almost well. Can you persuade him to come back? It's really a waste to keep his hands in the veterinary hospital. I'm not saying that treating cats and dogs is bad, but... Oh, it's just, you know, right?"
The smile on Fang Jianjin's face gradually faded. She knew what Jiang Zuo was referring to, but...
"I respect his choice. He will come back if he wants."
"If you persuade him, he will definitely listen!" Jiang Zuo replied immediately.
"But I don't want to persuade."
"you……"
Fang Jianjin said, "Thank you for your concern. Last week, I accompanied him to see a psychiatrist for the last time, so I believe in him. He will definitely make his own choice, and we just need to respect it."
After hearing this, Jiang Zuo didn't know what to say and could only say goodbye to her and leave.
After watching the person leave, Fang Jianjin turned around and saw Jian Xiu standing at the door of the pet hospital.
It snowed yesterday and the weather was very cold. He was wearing a camel-colored long windbreaker and a beige sweater. His once cold temperament suddenly became much gentler. He looked modest and gentle like a gentleman, as if he had walked out of a painting.
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