Zhang Ruowan returned to the inner room and looked at the old-fashioned furnishings in the house, and couldn't help feeling sad.
Although the Qi Mansion is large, the only thing that truly belongs to her is this small world.
She sat in front of the dressing table, looking at herself in the mirror. She was not even twenty years old, but had to spend her time with gray hair and white face. As for having children, it was probably a luxury. She could not hide the fatigue and helplessness between her brows.
She couldn't help but think of the scene in the hall just now. Qi Yongzhou's disgust and Master Qi's hypocritical praise made her feel extremely tired.
She knew that her position in this mansion was always awkward. No matter how well she did, she could never integrate into this family and could never truly become a part of the Qi Mansion.
In this mansion, even the servants pretended to obey her but secretly disobeyed her. She knew that these servants were whispering about her behind her back, saying that she was harsh and not as lenient as the late wife.
Sometimes when she spoke out to rectify the lazy atmosphere in the mansion, someone would refute her by saying, "It was like this when the late lady was alive."
These words pierced her heart like needles, making her feel extremely sad and helpless. She knew that no matter how hard she tried, she could never replace the late lady's position in the hearts of these servants.
She also knew that the reason these servants acted like this was simply because she was not the real mistress in their hearts.
Thinking of her mother's family, the Ning'an Marquis' Mansion, this once prominent family in the capital has now become a representative of a ruined family.
Looking back at the three generations before us, we were still able to rely on the remaining influence of our ancestors to barely maintain an empty framework and hold up the scene.
However, times have changed. By the time of Zhang Ruowan's generation, the family's glory had faded and they had completely fallen into the predicament of living beyond their means.
Whenever the Zhang family of Ning'anbo mentioned the matter of marriage, the son-in-law they could find was either a concubine or a tribute student with only the title of scholar.
Wanting to find a talented person of the same age as me in this prosperous capital city has become an unattainable luxury, like a fool's dream.
The decline of the family has caused those prominent families who once flocked to the Ning'an Marquis's Mansion to now avoid it, for fear of having anything to do with this impoverished family.
Those who are willing to marry into the Zhang family are often attracted by the little reputation that the Zhang family has left, or they have ulterior motives.
Faced with such a predicament, the Zhang family's daughters were filled with helplessness and unwillingness.
Thinking about how several of his cousins had married far away in other states, thousands of miles away from him, he couldn't help but feel a surge of emotion in his heart.
In comparison, although I am in a difficult situation, at least I am still in the prosperous capital, which is something to be thankful for.
Immersed in her own thoughts, Zhang Ruowan was interrupted by her stepson Qi Yongzhou's request. The servant said that the eldest master asked her to go to the front hall to discuss something.
She didn't want to go, but the servant reminded her in a serious tone that the eldest master had something important to tell her and it would be bad if she delayed.
In desperation, Zhang Ruowan had to go to the front hall. When she arrived, her husband had already gone out. Only Qi Yongzhou was sitting in the hall, holding the account book of the mansion in his hand, with obvious anger on his face.
"My father was present just now, so I didn't question my mother in public," Qi Yongzhou said, his tone accusing. "But now I want to ask why there is an extra one hundred taels of silver in the account book this month?"
Zhang Ruowan sat down to the side, not bothering to look through the account books. She calmly explained, "Butler Wang said two of the old concubines on the farm have passed away. They had served your father since he was young, so naturally, their funeral couldn't be too shabby. Therefore, each of them gave fifty taels of silver for funeral expenses."
After listening to her explanation, Qi Yongzhou raised his eyebrows slightly, seeming to be quite satisfied with the answer.
However, he did not give up and continued to ask, "What about the food expenses in the mansion? Why is there an extra 600 taels of silver this month?"
Zhang Ruowan was growing increasingly impatient with his questioning. She knew how many eyes were watching her every move in the vast Qi Mansion. No matter how careful she was, there would always be someone to find fault. If she made a mistake, those who had been watching her closely would immediately take her to the Discipline Hall for punishment.
"This month, we held several banquets in the palace," she said, trying to keep her tone calm. "We entertained some distinguished guests from the capital. These expenses are all necessary, and every single one is recorded in the register. You can check it carefully."
After saying this, Zhang Ruowan stopped talking and just waited quietly for Qi Yongzhou's reaction. She knew that whether her explanation would satisfy her stepson would depend on his attitude.
Qi Yongzhou was silent for a moment, as if verifying her words. Finally, he nodded gently, his expression softening slightly. "Since Mother has explained it this way, I won't say anything more. I just hope that Mother can manage the household wisely and not let the expenses of the mansion become excessive."
Zhang Ruowan nodded slightly, expressing her understanding. "I understand your concerns. I will try my best to save money and keep the finances of the mansion stable."
Although the conversation seemed to have ended peacefully, Zhang Ruowan felt mixed emotions. Her position in the Qi Mansion was still precarious. Both Qi Yongzhou and the other servants kept a subtle distance from her.
This sense of distance made her feel lonely and helpless, as if she could never truly integrate into this family.
As night fell, Zhang Ruowan lay alone on the cold bed, thinking about what had happened during the day.
She couldn't help but begin to doubt her choice. Should she really stay in this seemingly gorgeous but cold Qi Mansion? Or should she return to the Ning'an Marquis Mansion, which was decayed but full of warmth?
However, she had no way out. Marrying into the Qi Mansion and becoming the wife of the Qi family was a choice she had no choice but to make.
Now, she can only grit her teeth and move forward, trying her best to find her own foothold in this complicated family.
On the day of the Chunlin Poetry Society, Zhang Ruowan was not dressed ostentatiously, but she had a kind of elegant beauty.
Before leaving, she carefully took out a scroll from her dowry box. The painting was painted before her marriage, and it contained her hard work and emotion. Today, she wanted to share it with her colleagues in the poetry club.
"Take this painting with you," she instructed the maid beside her, "and be careful not to wrinkle it."
"Yes, Madam." The maid took the scroll carefully and responded.
Before leaving, Zhang Ruowan was about to step out of the house when her stepson Qi Yongzhou suddenly came over, followed by a serious-looking, elderly nanny.
"Mother," Qi Yongzhou said with a firmness that left no room for doubt. "It's better to let this nanny accompany you when we go out today. She's experienced and calm. I feel more at ease with her by my side."
Zhang Ruowan was slightly stunned, and then she understood Qi Yongzhou's intention. Although she felt a little unhappy and thought that Qi Yongzhou was monitoring her in disguise, she changed her mind and thought that bringing a nanny could indeed save some unnecessary trouble.
So, she nodded and said to Qi Yongzhou with a smile: "You have considered everything carefully. I will trouble this maid to accompany me."
The old nanny nodded expressionlessly, agreeing. Zhang Ruowan said no more, and got on the carriage with her maid and nanny, heading towards the Chunlin Poetry Society.
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