Chapter 5 N - Lost Dreams
Chu Beiling stared intently at the screen, her eyes unblinking. The screen went dark and then lit up again, over and over again.
Even though he didn't intend to add it again, he accidentally slipped up and, more than anyone else, hoped and expected Xing Yu to approve his request quickly.
Chu Beiling's heart was pounding. He stared intently at the phone he was holding above his head, and then he lost his grip.
The phone slammed onto his high nose with a "thud," bringing tears to his eyes. Chu Beiling rubbed his nose, then rolled over and lay face down.
The pillow beneath him pressed against his chest, making it feel suffocating, and his heart pounded harder with each beat.
Chu Beiling kept inhaling and exhaling, staring intently, waiting.
Half an hour passed—
The friend I successfully added still hasn't appeared on the screen.
The palpitations returned, and Chu Beiling sat up, drank half a glass of water from the bedside table, and waited again. The longer the time passed, the stronger his palpitations became, to the point that he felt he needed to take his medicine again.
Chu Beiling didn't want to eat; she didn't want to become an empty, numb walking corpse.
He could only keep reassuring himself that Xing Yu was probably busy, so he shouldn't worry and should wait a little longer.
Another half hour passed, and there was still no movement on the screen. Chu Beiling got up and drank more than half a glass of water.
The initial tension and anticipation gradually turned into disappointment and despair.
The emptiness and helplessness became increasingly apparent, accompanied by tinnitus, hand tremors, heart pain, and severe somatization symptoms such as stomach cramps.
These reactions are all telling Chu Beiling that you need to take your medicine.
But Chu Beiling refused. He would rather continue to suffer than forget the feeling of loving Xing Yu.
He reached out his trembling hand to the kettle beside him and poured water into a glass. His phone rang; it was an unfamiliar number, registered in Hangzhou, Zhejiang.
Chu Beiling was startled and spilled the hot water that had just been boiled onto the back of his hand, instantly scalding a large blister. He ignored it and rushed over to answer the phone, only to trip over the carpet and fall to his knees.
Chu Beiling took several deep breaths to make sure her voice was fine before swiping to answer the call.
"Hello, Director Chu, this is Yang Feng, Mr. Xing's assistant." A clear female voice came through the telephone receiver.
Chu Beiling's nascent hope was instantly extinguished, and his sense of despair and despair multiplied. His throat was dry and painful, and it kept tightening, almost suffocating him. He couldn't utter a word for a long time.
The city was filled with Xing Yu's presence, so much so that he subconsciously assumed any random phone number from Hangzhou was being called by Xing Yu.
But how could that be—
Xing Yu wouldn't even accept his WeChat message, and for work-related communication, he would have his assistant contact him directly.
They wouldn't even have a little contact with him.
How could she possibly contact him again? He's just being delusional.
There was no response for a long time on the other end of the phone. Yang Feng wasn't sure if he had dialed the wrong number, so he tentatively asked, "Director Chu, is that you?"
Chu Beiling wanted to pull herself away from the excruciating pain, so she bit down and popped the large blister that had just formed from the burn. The piercing pain spread throughout her body, diverting her attention.
He stared at the clear liquid that had dripped onto his hands, steadied his breathing, and said nonchalantly, "What do you say?"
Yang Feng breathed a sigh of relief, thankfully she hadn't made a mistake: "Director Chu, the CG and model for the Chinese version of 'Conquer the World' are out. When do you have time to come and confirm them?"
"Conquer the World" is the Chinese version of the game that collaborated with Chu Meng.
He knew Xing Yu wouldn't want to see him; the series of events told Chu Beiling that even if he went to the scene, it wouldn't change anything.
Thinking of this, the physical pain from before completely lost its effect. In order to temporarily alleviate this emotion, Chu Beiling decided to temporarily lose his emotions, forget today's unpleasantness, and choose to take medicine.
Continue to love him after the effects of the medication wear off.
Chu Beiling popped two yellow pills into his mouth, chewed them thoroughly, and swallowed them. The bitter taste spread in his mouth. He opened his mouth and calmly instructed the other party:
"Send it directly to my email. I will give you feedback after I confirm it."
For some reason, Yang Feng always felt that his boss would prefer this Ice Prince to visit their company in person.
So he spoke again, saying, "It would be better if you came in person. We can discuss any requests you may have on the spot."
Chu Beiling bluntly asked, "Can't I send an email?"
"This..." Yang Feng was stumped by the question, then said, "That works too."
Chu Beiling coldly ordered, "Send an email directly."
Yang Feng: "Okay, okay."
After hanging up, Chu Beiling sent a message to Zhu Qing'an: "The first draft of Chu Meng's work is finished and should be sent to you via email soon. Please check your inbox."
Zhu Qing'an replied quickly: [Received.] Then she asked: [You didn't seem to be in a good mood just now, are you alright now?]
Chu Beiling: [It's nothing.]
After sending the message, he lay back down on the soft, white bed, gazing at the dazzling crystal chandelier above him—so luxurious and magnificent, much like Xing Yu's current life and state of mind.
Xing Yu possessed the worldly prosperity he desired.
So what does he have to be disappointed or sad about? Isn't this what he wanted?
And what about him?
He's a lost soul now, and it's good that Xing Yu doesn't plan to contact him now, lest he be dragged into the mire.
Chu Beiling twitched the corners of her mouth, a smile of despair mixed with relief. This was fine too.
The phone rang; it was their CEO, Fu Xingzhou.
Chu Beiling reached for his phone and answered, "President Fu?"
Fu Xingzhou poured himself a cup of tea and slowly asked, "How are you adjusting back to Hangzhou? Have you seen the people you wanted to see?"
Fu Xingzhou was a senior several years ahead of him and had pursued him before. After learning that he had someone he had been longing for for many years, he said that he would not continue to pursue someone who had been in his heart for many years.
I met and was moved by this person during my passionate and impetuous youth. They touched my heart and made me stun me, but then turned around and took my youth away.
Too hard to occupy, too hard to replace.
Perhaps what you can't forget is no longer that person, but the love you wholeheartedly gave during your carefree youth, and the pursuit of becoming a better version of yourself.
Fu Xingzhou wasn't afraid; in fact, he felt that having someone he had been thinking about for many years was nothing to be ashamed of. It was simply a memory of his youth that could never be relived, and it was perfectly normal to feel nostalgic.
If he were willing and had the patience and time to wait for Chu Beiling to come out, there would be no need for that, that's all.
However, the two shared similar interests, and later Fu Xingzhou became Chu Beiling's close friend and mentor, and also became his boss.
This collaboration in Hangzhou was initiated by Chu Beiling and ultimately approved by Fu Xingzhou. Without him, even if Chu Beiling wanted to return to Hangzhou, he wouldn't have been able to do so so easily.
Perhaps the medication was taking effect; Chu Beiling's sensitivity to emotions was low, and her actions and thoughts were a beat slower: "What did you say?"
Fu Xingzhou: "Did you see the person you wanted to see when you got back to Hangzhou?"
After a moment of silence, Chu Beiling told the truth: "I saw him."
Fu Xingzhou raised an eyebrow, quite surprised: "The partners, it can't really be them?"
Chu Beiling gave a soft "hmm".
After he could no longer paint, he couldn't pursue an artistic career, so he chose market management and Fu Xingzhou's current game company, all to keep the promise he made to Xing Yu back then.
Chu Beiling knew that if Xing Yu wanted to make animation, he would definitely realize his dream. He had drawn a diagram and considered and planned all the industries that could intersect with animation.
As long as we can connect with the animation industry and achieve cooperation with domestic partners.
He will be able to return to China.
If I'm lucky, I might be able to work with Xing Yu.
He didn't exactly break his promise.
Fu Xingzhou confirmed again, "Really?"
Chu Beiling: "There's no need for me to lie to you."
In a land area of 9.6 million square kilometers, there is more than one animation company. The person Chu Beiling can't forget may not necessarily be in Hangzhou. Unexpectedly, they actually met again in Hangzhou, in the crowd.
Shouldn't he exclaim, "What a coincidence!"?
There was a brief pause on Fu Xingzhou's end before he asked, "So, how did it feel to actually see it?"
Chu Beiling mumbled, "It's alright."
Fu Xingzhou chuckled softly, his smile revealing neither mockery nor anything else: "It's alright! Things have changed, haven't they?"
Chu Beiling raised her hand, placing her entire arm over her forehead to block the glaring light from the crystal chandelier: "Ten years have passed, anything can happen, let it be."
Fu Xingzhou: "It's good that you're so open about it."
Chu Beiling certainly couldn't accept it calmly. Xing Yuren was right in front of him, yet they were always separated by thousands of mountains and rivers, and blocked by the torrent of time.
He had to accept and face this feeling that everything had changed, because they had truly missed out on too many events and moments together.
So what can you do if you're not comfortable with it? You can only accept it.
All I can do is console myself with "Let it be," and allow everything to happen.
Chu Beiling didn't really want to talk about herself, so she asked again, "You called just to gossip?"
“Impatient.” Fu Xingzhou got down to business: “On the evening of December 18th, Leading Capital is having a private dinner. You’ll have to go in my place. I’ll send you the electronic invitation in a bit. It’s also a good opportunity to get to know people in the domestic business community, which will make it easier for you to start your work in China in the future.”
These private banquets bring together all sorts of influential figures. While you might not be able to immediately reach an agreement over drinks, you can still make a lot of connections and friends, even if it's just to make a name for yourself.
It was essential for Chu Beiling to return on a work basis and get to know people both inside and outside the industry, as well as those in the capital circle.
He agreed.
After hanging up, Chu Beiling returned to WeChat, but Xing Yu still didn't accept his request. He pressed his aching temples hard with his fingers, turned over, and buried himself in the pillow. The drug took full effect, and his senses plummeted to freezing point.
His mind was heavy and he soon fell into a deep sleep.
After the executive meeting ended and all the executives left, Xing Yu got up and left the meeting room, checking the messages he had missed during the meeting as he walked.
WeChat notified me that there are new friends in my contacts.
Xing Yu clicked on it and saw that it was a friend request from Chu Beiling.
Xu Tunan, who was standing to the side, looked at Xing Yu, who was standing still, and said, "Don't leave. The driver should be downstairs."
"Let's wait a minute."
Not far away, Yang Feng picked up Xing Yu's coat and official documents: "President Xing, Director Chu asked us to send the first draft to his email."
Xing Yu looked up at her, and Yang Feng said, "Director Chu only told us to send the documents to his email, and didn't say anything else."
Xing Yu removed his hand from the friend request button and said to her, "Do as he says."
After saying that, he strode towards the elevator.
The two stepped into the elevator car together. When they were alone, Xu Tunan finally asked his question: "Why do we do it his way? He doesn't want to rekindle their relationship. If you insist on making him come, he has no choice but to come."
Without reconnecting and creating new interactions, what's the point of continuing the past relationship?
Xing Yu: "There's no need."
"Why?" Xu Tunan didn't understand. Although he was angry, the anger had subsided after he vented, and a week had passed, so he had calmed down. He didn't understand why Xing Yu was backing down now.
Xing Yu didn't answer. He glanced at him, and Xu Tunan belatedly realized that earlier that day, their high school classmates' group chat had been discussing Chu Beiling and her boyfriend.
Xu Tunan realized: "Boyfriend, is that eunuch Zhu Qing'an from ECho?"
Xing Yu suddenly laughed. He couldn't refute it and paused for a moment—
He said, "That's fine."
Xu Tunan instantly flew into a rage, "Wait, I'm going to beat him up again."
Back then, he had a better relationship with Chu Beiling than with Xing Yu, but after ten years apart, he had the most contact with Xing Yu and would always subconsciously side with him.
Xing Yu said emotionlessly, "Why would I beat him up?!"
“You’re waiting for him…” Xu Tunan’s voice gradually weakened: “There is no one in the world more infatuated and foolish than you.”
His heart ached and throbbed. Xing Yu seemed lost in a deep, deep memory, and said slowly, "That's because of Chu Beiling. He deserves it."
Xu Tunan had nothing to say.
Xing Yu looked down and sent a message to Ke Jincheng: [Has Chu Beiling found a house?]
Ke Jincheng quickly replied: [Finding a house isn't something that can be done so quickly. It's a long and tedious process. Besides, our little prince Fanfan is even more pampered than the princess and the pea. He has high standards. Let him take his time choosing. I don't think he's in a hurry.]
Xing Yu sent Ke Jincheng a red envelope directly, with the message: "Please keep a close eye on things, thank you."
Ke Jincheng immediately returned the red envelope: "They're all old classmates, and I already received a referral fee from Fanfan Little Prince, so this is what I should do." He then asked gossipily, "How are things between you and Chu Beiling now?"
Just as he sent the message, Ke Jincheng remembered that Chu Beiling now had a boyfriend, so he immediately deleted it.
Xing Yu's words appeared on the screen: [We broke up, didn't you all know that!]
He didn't retract the message because of Ke Jincheng's question; instead, he left the chat bubble on the screen.
Ke Jincheng stared at the words on the screen, suddenly at a loss for words. After a long while, he replied: "[Ten years have passed since our breakup. We both have our own lives now. Let the past be the past.]"
Ke Jincheng still remembers Xing Yu's attitude of "it doesn't matter if I die today" after Chu Beiling dropped out of school and left.
He thought that after ten years, Xing Yu would have long forgotten. However, Ke Jincheng was wrong. He had not forgotten, but now he was no longer qualified to care. Instead, he had to ask Xing Yu to care about Chu Beiling, who already had a new boyfriend.
For some reason, Ke Jincheng's nose felt a little sore.
Xing Yu sent him the red envelope he had returned: 【He has quite a few demands, so please show him some favoritism for my sake. There probably won't be another chance.】
This time, Ke Jincheng did not return the red envelope but accepted it directly.
Xing Yu: [Don't let him know.]
Ke Jincheng quickly replied with an emoji: 【OK.jig】
Xu Tunan glanced at the chat logs out of the corner of his eye, vaguely seeing some but not sure. He craned his neck to look closer, then looked up at Xing Yu again, and couldn't help but sigh from the bottom of his heart: "Dude, are you out of your mind? You're hopeless. Just take him out and bury him already!"
Xing Yu felt as if his heart was being torn apart; his eyes stung, and he was on the verge of tears.
He opened his mouth, and said in a hoarse voice, "This is the last time."
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