Chapter 57
Pei Xuanji sat on the galloping horse, her thoughts drifting back to many years ago.
Her eldest sister was the first girl her mother gave birth to when she was in her thirties.
Their mother, Madam Zeng, came from a scholarly family. After marrying General Pei, she gave birth to two sons in the first three years, but did not conceive again for the next eight years.
The birth of the eldest daughter was a surprise to everyone, and Mrs. Zeng was overjoyed. She and her husband thought about it for several days and named their daughter Xianhui.
As Xianhui grew up, she blossomed into a beautiful, gentle, and serene noblewoman, much to Madam Zeng's delight.
Although she came from a military family, because Madam Zeng gave birth to an extremely mischievous girl four years later, causing Madam Zeng headaches every day, she was even more unwilling for her precious eldest daughter to practice martial arts. She only wanted her to read books and learn needlework.
Therefore, Xianhui is more likely the daughter of a civil official.
Such a noblewoman naturally had many suitors in the capital who were of equal social standing.
However, Pei Xianhui never responded to the love poems secretly sent by the young man, because the third prince, who was a year younger than her, had been a disciple of General Pei since childhood and had been learning military strategy and martial arts in the Pei family since he was a child. He and Xianhui had grown up together as childhood sweethearts and had long since given each other their true feelings.
The third prince was born to a concubine, and everyone believed that he had no chance of ascending the throne. Therefore, General Pei and Madam Zeng were very lenient with their two children and were happy to see things go smoothly.
At that time, Pei Xianhui also believed that she would eventually become the Third Prince's wife and grow old together with her Third Prince.
However, the situation in the capital was constantly changing. The Crown Prince and the Second Prince fought each other to the death, and both lost their status as heirs. The Third Prince, who neither fought nor stood out, benefited from the situation and obtained the position of Crown Prince without lifting a finger.
When Pei Xianhui woke up, her father told her that she would not be able to become the Third Prince's wife.
There is no longer a position for the Third Prince's Consort. Now there is only the Crown Princess, and in the future, only the Empress. General Pei said meaningfully to Pei Xianhui, "Daughter, do you want to be a princess, or do you want to be the Third Prince's wife?"
Pei Xianhui didn't say anything. After returning to her room, she locked herself in for three days and three nights. Her Sanlang couldn't contact her for a long time. In the middle of the night, he climbed over the wall and entered Pei Xianhui's courtyard, waiting for her outside the window all night.
When they were little, whenever Pei Xianhui refused to talk to anyone after an argument, Sanlang would just wait silently outside the window, without saying a word, waiting for Xianhui to calm down.
Saburo is now the crown prince, but he remains the same as before.
On the morning of the fourth day, Pei Xianhui opened the door. In the late autumn weather, Sanlang's face and fingers were red from the cold, and his gaze toward Pei Xianhui was just as it had always been.
Sanlang said to Xianhui, "Trust me, I will not let you down."
Pei Xianhui nodded with tears in her eyes; she believed it.
Even though the court officials argued endlessly over the position of Crown Princess, in the end, the granddaughter of the Grand Secretary was chosen as the primary consort, and Pei Xianhui as the secondary consort.
In the end, she neither became a princess nor became Sanlang's wife.
Another year passed, the old emperor died, and Sanlang became the new emperor.
Pei Xianhui was granted the title of Imperial Concubine after the Emperor argued against the prevailing opinion.
General Pei had many children. Pei Xianhui's family relationships were not simple from a young age. However, Madam Zeng was kind and respected by her husband, so there were never any dirty things in the general's mansion.
But inside the palace, everything was different from the general's mansion. Pei Xianhui was forced into the struggle between the imperial court and the harem. She also realized that she could only be the emperor's concubine, not his wife.
Pei Xianhui has changed, and so has her Sanlang.
The year after Pei Xianhui became a Noble Consort, the Empress suddenly died one winter day. The Emperor lost his wife and wept bitterly in the court.
No one said a word in front of others, but Pei Xianhui seemed to hear countless people whispering in the imperial palace.
Unable to explain to anyone, Pei Xianhui could only remain silent.
He silently grew increasingly distant from the emperor.
But the emperor seemed not to understand Pei Xianhui's meaning. He treated Pei Xianhui the same as before, just like the Sanlang who stayed up all night outside the window.
A year later, Pei Xianhui became pregnant.
Later, according to the daily records, Consort Pei did not give birth to that child. She felt extremely guilty about it and locked herself in the palace, crying day and night, and refusing to see anyone.
The emperor was at a loss and stood outside the door asking Consort Pei what he should do.
Many days later, Consort Pei finally spoke up, saying, "Please, Your Majesty, allow me to leave the palace."
Recalling this point, Pei Xuanji reined in her horse and looked at the small Taoist temple in front of her.
Women who had served as imperial concubines, even if granted special permission to leave the palace, could only become female Taoist priests in Taoist temples under the guise of cultivating Taoism.
Even though this Taoist temple was built with money from the emperor's private treasury, and every plant and tree inside was modeled after Pei Xianhui's courtyard before she got married, apart from the name, it had nothing to do with the word "Taoist temple".
Pei Xuanji took a deep breath, tied her horse to the side, and went up to knock on the door, saying, "It's me, Pei Xuanji."
After knocking for a while, the door was opened from the inside, and a maid peeked out and said, "It's Miss Pei."
The maid opened the door and greeted Pei Xuanji, but did not step aside to let her in. She said apologetically, "The nun does not wish to receive guests today. Please leave."
"I've been away from the capital for a long time. How are you, sister?" Pei Xuanji asked the maid without any surprise.
"The nun is doing well, so please don't worry," the maid said with a smile.
Pei Xuanji hummed in agreement, but her feet seemed rooted to the spot, and she remained motionless.
Seeing this, the maid sighed inwardly and advised, "You know the nun's temper. Now that it's autumn, the days are short and the weather is getting cool. You should go back quickly."
Pei Xuanji remained unmoved.
The maid had no choice but to leave the door half-closed and keep her company.
Pei Xuanji stood at the door for a long, long time. The cool breeze from Pagoda Mountain made the hair ornament on her head sway incessantly. She simply took it off her head and held it tightly in her hand.
Perhaps the wind blew sand into her eyes, causing Pei Xuanji's eyes to turn red. She gripped the hairpin too tightly, and it almost pierced her palm.
The maid at the door couldn't bear it and wanted to persuade her again, but then Pei Xuanji suddenly shouted, "Sister, I am Pei Qi."
"After becoming a Celestial Master, I traveled to many places and solved many cases. I personally killed several monsters and saved many people. If you could see me, you would know that I have become stronger now."
"If you feel I'm not strong enough now, that's okay. I will become stronger and stronger in the future, until one day I can truly protect you. When that day comes, I want you to walk out of this Taoist temple with your head held high!"
Pei Xuanji stubbornly raised her face, unwilling to let the maid see her expression.
Many images flashed through her mind.
In the stormy palace, on the bed in the Imperial Concubine's chambers, lay Pei Xianhui, her lower body covered in blood.
"Let me die! Someone kill me!" Pei Xianhui cried hysterically, her face contorted with pain, her cries heartbreaking.
The maids beside her stood there dumbfounded.
Pei Xuanji and the emperor stood stiffly outside the door, neither daring to step into the room.
The child was covered in hair, which obscured his face.
The maid held it, but dared not look down at it.
The emperor didn't even glance at it, ordering someone to carry it aside. He slowly walked forward, intending to touch the already irrational Pei Xianhui.
Pei Xianhui shrank back in terror. She seemed to no longer recognize the person in front of her. She screamed, "Don't touch me, please, don't touch me!"
The emperor was flustered and at a loss, his voice trembling: "Xianhui, it's me, it's Sanlang."
Pei Xianhui was almost insane; she didn't recognize Sanlang anymore.
Pei Xuanji, who happened to be visiting her sister in the palace, was trembling all over. She suppressed her fear, walked to the side, and bent down to look at the thing.
It also looked at Pei Xuanji.
Pei Xuanji felt as if she had fallen into an ice cave. Since childhood, her aunt had praised her for her talent, and she recognized what it was.
She began to tremble uncontrollably, her teeth chattering.
A bolt of lightning flashed across the sky, and everything before Pei Xuanji's eyes lost its color.
Amidst the deafening thunder, she struggled to turn around and look at her sister.
Her beloved sister has become half a monster.
Then, outside the door, the emperor gripped Pei Xuanji's arm tightly.
This man, whom she had secretly called brother-in-law for many years and who seemed as resolute as a rock, spoke to her while she was crying.
Everything you have today, you must keep to yourself until you die.
Pei Xianhui is my wife. She is of noble character, virtuous and gentle, but she miscarried a stillborn child.
Yes, that's right, my brother-in-law is right.
Pei Xuanji's mind went blank for a moment, then a thought popped into her head.
She should kill all the demons in the world.
Even though the wind has turned cool, the autumn sun still retains some of its power.
Looking up, Pei Xuanji accidentally stared directly at the sun, and tears streamed down her face.
She waited a while longer, until the maid opened the door and said, "Miss Pei, go back. The nun said that as a woman, one should prioritize tranquility. You only need to live your own life well; she doesn't need your protection."
Pei Xuanji stared blankly at the maid.
That was the first thing my sister said to Pei Qi that day.
She didn't know how she got back home from Pagoda Mountain. At the gate of her small courtyard, Madam Zeng, who was over sixty years old, looked at her with her eyebrows raised and said angrily, "You can't even stay at home for a day. You're riding around outside every day. What kind of person are you?"
Pei Xuanji looked at her mother blankly, and after a long while, she finally spoke: "Mother, have you seen my sister recently?"
Madam Zeng was taken aback, her imposing aura dissipated, and after a moment of silence, she said calmly, "She refuses to see anyone. Did you manage to see anyone this time?"
Pei Xuanji shook her head and said, "I guess so, but I didn't see her."
"Why are you talking about her? I don't understand either of you sisters."
Madam Zeng frowned, pulled Pei Xuanji back to her room, and forcibly dressed her up before saying with satisfaction, "Alright, although your father is not here, your eldest and second brothers are both back today, and the whole family is reunited. Let's go to my place for dinner together."
Pei Xuanji remained silent, following closely behind her mother as they entered her courtyard. Because she had returned late, her two older brothers had arrived earlier and were chatting in the main room. Hearing the commotion, they turned around and, seeing her appearance, frowned and said with displeasure, "Pei Qi, it's been so long since we last met. Why are you so rough around the edges?"
Mrs. Zeng sighed, "I tried my best, but no matter how I dressed up, it just didn't look right."
Pei Xuanji pretended not to hear and silently nodded to her two brothers.
Her two brothers exchanged a glance, and the eldest brother spoke first: "Pei Qi, I met a young man yesterday. He is handsome, of noble birth, and has a title. He is a good match for my sister. Would you like me to introduce you?"
Madam Zeng was overjoyed upon hearing this, and without waiting for Pei Xuanji's reply, she immediately inquired with her eldest son.
The mother and son were having a lively discussion, while Pei Xuanji sat silently to the side with a blank face.
Seeing this, her second brother said with dissatisfaction, "Pei Qi, would your family harm you? You're already twenty-one. If you don't find someone now, it will be hard to find one later. Being a Taoist priest is fine for fun, and it might be interesting to hear about it, but do you think you can be a Taoist priest for the rest of your life?"
"You know what, your little sister is quite ambitious, determined to vanquish demons and become a heroine among women." Seeing that Pei Xuanji was still silent, Madam Zeng sneered and teased.
“A woman’s greatest glory is to marry a good husband. We already have Xianhui in the family. Pei Qi, don’t follow your older sister’s example. Think about it carefully. Do you really think you can make something of yourself? Do you have the ability? If you don’t succeed, won’t your life be ruined?”
Pei Xuanji's eldest brother earnestly advised her again.
Throughout the entire meal, Pei Xuanji did not utter a single word.
After finishing dinner, she walked out of her mother's yard alone.
The autumn wind blew swiftly through the night, sending fallen leaves swirling in the air.
The fallen leaves, which had not been swept away, rustled underfoot.
The lanterns on both sides of the covered walkway cast a long shadow of Pei Xuanji.
She walked alone, stepping on her own shadow, feeling that every step was extremely difficult.
Pei Qi, you are walking on such a lonely road. Can you really get to where you want to go?
Should we stop here and go back to the old life full of joy and beauty?
Life is like a journey against the current, and Pei Xuanji wanders aimlessly, unable to discern her direction.
Back in the courtyard, Pei Xuanji had her maids remove the jewelry from her head. Then, Madam Zeng sent someone over with newly made hairpins and necklaces, asking Pei Xuanji to choose a few so she could take her out in a few days.
She casually pointed to a few items, dismissed all the maids, and sat at the table in a daze.
But not long after, there was another noise outside the window.
Frustrated, Pei Xuanji slammed her hand on the table and shouted, "Didn't I say I should leave?"
A moment of silence fell outside, followed by a familiar female voice.
"Pei Qi, are you this fierce at home?"
Upon hearing this, Pei Xuanji suddenly stood up, walked to the window with delight, and opened it, exclaiming, "Baozhu, you actually came to see me!"
Sure enough, Baozhu was standing suspiciously outside the window. She was holding a bag of food that smelled strongly of food and said with a grin, "I brought you my favorite Eight Treasure Duck. You said you were busy, but I thought about it for a long time and decided to come anyway. I thought if you were really busy, I would just give you the food and leave."
Pei Xuanji's eyes welled up with tears, and she pulled Baozhu in through the window.
Baozhu stopped and looked around her boudoir, wondering where to put the Eight Treasure Duck, when Pei Xuanji suddenly grabbed her left hand, rendering her unable to move.
She turned around and saw Pei Xuanji pouting, looking extremely aggrieved. She quickly placed the Eight Treasure Duck on the jewelry box and asked, "What's wrong? Did someone bully you? Go ahead and beat them up!"
“You are the Celestial Master Pei Qi! With a swift stroke of your sword, the monster’s head will be spinning on the ground!” Baozhu said.
Upon hearing Baozhu's words, Pei Xuanji could no longer hold back and burst into tears, burying her face in her shoulder.
This cry seemed to release all the grievances she had suffered since returning to the capital. Pei Xuanji held Baozhu, feeling utterly lost. She cried out, "Baozhu, I don't know what to do. What should I do?"
She told Baozhu everything her family had said and done.
Baozhu patted her back and comforted her, saying, "You've done very well. It's just that they don't understand you."
After thinking for a moment, she added, "I have seen the majesty of Master Pei. They have not seen it. Ordinary people can never imagine the scenery they have never seen."
Upon hearing this, Pei Xuanji wept bitterly until late into the night, when she finally stopped, hiccuping as she shared the gifts Baozhu had brought with her.
Baozhu stayed by Pei Xuanji's side until she fell asleep, then followed the safe route Li Zhi had given her back to the official residence.
It was late at night, but the lamps were still lit in Li Zhi's official residence. He sat at the table, reading the secret manuals of the Strange People's Temple that were not passed on to outsiders, while waiting for Baozhu to return home.
Hearing a noise at the door, Li Zhi turned around and met Baozhu's sad-looking eyes. He raised an eyebrow and asked, "What's wrong? Did you quarrel with Master Pei?"
Baozhu shook her head and said sadly, "No, it's Pei Qi who suffered."
She sat down next to Li Zhi, rested her head on his shoulder, and told him about Pei Xuanji.
After saying this, Baozhu sighed and said sadly, "Will Pei Qi continue with her ideals?"
Upon hearing this, Li Zhi put down the book in his hand, and a memory flashed through his mind.
Nighttime, on the outskirts of Beijing, under a moonless sky.
The group carried torches for the night, the light illuminating Pei Xuanji's face.
Pei Xuanji, who no longer had a round face, had white hair at her temples and deep wrinkles between her brows. She was very thin, and her hands, which were gripping the reins, were covered with scars of varying depths.
She had sharp eyes, her back was still very straight, and she carried a sword wrapped in white cloth on her back.
She sat on her horse, looking down at him with a serious expression, and said, "Lord Li, this journey is long and arduous, so please bear with me for now."
Li Zhi nodded.
Pei Xuanji added, "Furthermore, my men will be in charge of this mission, so Lord Li should follow my instructions."
After saying that, she gave Li Zhi a cold look, not caring about his answer, turned her horse around, and waved to the people around her.
The masked riders in black, without uttering a word, shook their reins and followed Pei Xuanji forward.
Li Zhi came to his senses, looked at the precious pearl in front of him, and smiled gently.
“Master Pei may have let many people down in her life,” Li Zhi said carefully, choosing each word carefully, “but she has never let down her younger self.”
Baozhu's eyes lit up under the light.
She realized something and said, "You know her."
Li Zhi certainly knew Pei Xuanji, but that wasn't what they were talking about.
Li Zhi nodded.
Baozhu asked wistfully, "What kind of person is Pei Qi?"
“She’s a determined person who won’t give up until she achieves her goal,” Li Zhi thought for a moment, then added, “She’s a good person.”
“If Pei Qi knew you praised her like that, she might not say it to her face, but she would definitely be very pleased inside,” Baozhu said with a smile.
Li Zhi smiled but remained silent.
They were each lost in thought, and there was a moment of silence.
Then, Baozhu suddenly spoke up.
"Can I become such a demon in the future?" Baozhu looked at Li Zhi, her eyes sparkling. "When others talk about me, they will praise me as a good demon."
Li Zhi reached out and gently stroked her cheek, affirming, "Yes, I will."
"You are now."
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