Previous Life Extra (Twenty-Three) Before the Explosion
When Song Shengsheng heard what Shen Zhishu said, she seemed to be shocked. She didn't even have the strength to struggle and tried to push him away.
But Shen Zhishu's strength was like a strong wall. She couldn't push it open at all, and she couldn't escape even if she tried her best.
Song Shengsheng opened his mouth and bit him hard, gasping for breath.
She said in a hoarse voice, "I will not bear you any more children."
She was a little emotional: "I told you I don't like you at all! Why did you force me to have a child?"
Shen Zhishu kissed her on the cheek, "Shengsheng, it's all my fault."
He said this, but actually he didn't feel much remorse.
Song Shengsheng felt that she really couldn't communicate with him.
Shen Zhishu coaxed her: "Can you let Shengsheng go out every day from now on? Go wherever you want and see whoever you want."
"I know you actually like Fu Luochi very much."
"Every time he came to see you, you felt much better and smiled."
"Well, let him come over three times a week from now on."
"Shengsheng, you will like our daughter."
Song Shengsheng stared at him with red eyes, or glared at him, and said resolutely: "No! No! No! I will not like another child who was forced to be born."
"I don't like you."
"I don't like Shen Zai either."
"Do you understand? It has nothing to do with whether it's a boy or a girl."
Shen Zhishu pretended not to hear anything. He leaned forward, buried his face in her neck, and said in a hoarse voice that sounded a little fragile: "I will."
It's like deceiving yourself.
It seemed as if she would soon be pregnant with a beautiful girl.
Like her little girl.
That will soften her heart.
It's like seeing yourself as a child, pitiful and unloved, and even the hardest-hearted person will soften his heart.
Song Shengsheng felt a little weak. She looked at the ceiling and blinked tiredly: "Shen Zhishu, please kill me."
This freed them all.
He will no longer become unlike himself because of the love he cannot get.
And she doesn't have to be trapped in this twisted, suffocating love.
The cold tears soaked her skin again.
Shen Zhishu called her name again and again.
How could he bear to kill her?
Sometimes I thought about eating her.
Eat it cleanly, bite by bite.
From flesh to bones, even her blood was drunk up.
All of it melted into his body.
But he still couldn't bear to let go and still wanted the lively and vivid Song Shengsheng.
*
From this day on.
Song Shengsheng's attitude towards Shen Zai changed.
They returned to their initial cold attitude, ignoring or even leaving him alone, or could not help but say some sarcastic words when they saw him.
It seemed that the last bit of maternal love disappeared completely with Shen Zhishu's actions.
Maybe it's because I hate the whole family.
Shen Zai didn't know how he had offended his mother, but he soon figured it out.
"Mom, don't you want a little sister?"
He asked bluntly, "Just like mom didn't want me, right?"
Song Shengsheng was sitting by the window. When she heard his words, she couldn't help but turn around, sneered, and told him, "Yes. That's right."
She said fiercely, "I don't want you at all."
Shen Zai nodded: "So mom doesn't like me either."
Song Shengsheng said, "It's good that you know."
After a while, Shen Zai spoke calmly: "But you still gave birth to me."
"You gave birth to me, but you refused to love me."
Song Shengsheng felt a hysterical voice in her heart, loudly refuting that it was because she was forced by her father.
He was originally a bad seed.
I don't know why.
Song Shengsheng resisted the urge to say this.
Song Shengsheng still stared at him with a cold gaze and asked, "Why should I love you? Who stipulated that I must love you?"
She is now filled with resentment.
It's not that I don't know what I'm talking about.
Shen Zai was silent for a while, with a look of disappointment on his face. He pursed his lips and said, "Okay."
Then he looked at her and asked, "Will mother like a younger sister?"
Song Shengsheng's head hurt when she heard this line of words. She was like a frightened bird. She didn't know what she remembered. She was shaking with fear. She said, "There will be no sister. Can you clear your mind a little? None of you are normal."
Shen Zai seemed very sad.
Want to defend myself.
"If my sister really looks like mom, you would like her, right?"
Song Shengsheng felt that they were unreasonable.
Although she said some decisive and harsh words, she was also very scared in her heart.
I was afraid that I would get pregnant again and have a child I didn’t want.
She doesn't want to live in constant fear.
But Shen Zhishu was determined to have another child and refused to take any measures.
Song Shengsheng had several breakdowns and lost his temper. Every day he acted like an unreasonable villain, making a fuss at home. All the decorations on the table were in a mess, as if they had been hit by a typhoon.
After making a lot of noise a few times, Song Shengsheng had no more energy left.
But I don’t know if it’s God’s blessing.
Three years passed like this.
Until Shen Zai was in high school.
She also didn't have a child.
Song Shengsheng felt that she was lucky after all. Under strict surveillance, it was extremely difficult for her to get contraceptive pills.
Sometimes she could only clean herself up bit by bit while she was in the shower.
Three lucky years have passed.
Song Shengsheng has become superstitious, and to a certain extent she is willing to burn incense and worship Buddha.
And kneel before the gods with utmost piety.
Kowtow and make a wish sincerely.
May she be infertile from now on and never have children again.
Song Shengsheng felt that she must have been particularly sincere when she burned incense and prayed to Buddha, and that these blind gods must have heard her voice and had protected her for so long.
Song Shengsheng wished he could live in a temple.
Pray day and night.
However, she did not have any respect for these "merciful" gods in her heart.
They are all lies.
The circle of wealthy ladies in Hong Kong also felt that Mrs. Shen had become much calmer in the past two years. She no longer worked so hard and must have gone to the temple to cleanse her soul and see through many things, which is why she is so honest now.
This day.
Song Shengsheng came back from the temple.
I happened to run into Shen Zai who had just finished high school.
The relationship between mother and son is still very strange. Shen is not as clingy as he was in the past two years. He doesn't want to stick to his mother all the time when he has free time, and he doesn't tell her everything in detail anymore.
He seemed to have learned to read people's faces.
He held a pot of flowers in his hands.
I don’t know where it came from, but it is a variety of white rose that Song Shengsheng has never seen before.
Shen Zai was a tall and thin boy wearing a high school uniform. He looked handsome and elegant in this outfit, like a young male protagonist who walked out of a comic book.
It had just rained outside, and his shoulders were slightly wet from the rain, but the white rose in his arms was intact.
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