Daizhu
The rain poured down, causing not only those who left to feel anxious, but also those who remained to find no relief from their inner turmoil.
Feng Daizhu sat by the window, tilting her head back, staring blankly at the misty rain. "Swish—swish—" it seemed that everything was washed away by the rain and would never leave a trace.
It's as if it never happened.
Feng Daizhu slowly closed her trembling eyelashes, feeling an unbearable pain in her internal organs. But what was the use? This was what she deserved, the consequence of her past betrayal.
Since marrying into the family, although she pretended to be calm and composed, she still inexplicably wanted to look away whenever she saw those dark and deep eyes.
At first, she was afraid that even if she married into the Dou family, Dou Yanxun would still expose her past to the public.
Because she was the one who fell in love first, and she was the one who wholeheartedly wanted to marry him. She inquired about his family and address, thinking of asking her father to propose marriage to the Dou family...
Dou Yanxun initially ignored her and deliberately avoided her, never stealing her lambs again. Later, she couldn't resist and secretly rode her horse to follow him. What did he eat?
Feng Daizhu hid behind a tree and saw the thin Dou Yanxun walking barefoot on the pebbles. The stream was flowing, and half of his body was wet, but he was frowning and staring intently at the crystal-clear stream.
Sure enough, after a short while, he suddenly plunged downwards, and when he raised his hand again, there was a small, ordinary fish jumping around in his hand.
He can actually catch fish?
The northern border region is often arid, and this stream only managed to gather in one place after it rained. When it doesn't rain, there are only bare stones here. How did he discover this place?
Besides, fish isn't very tasty, it has bones. Beef and mutton are much better, not to mention the newborn lambs, they're so plump and tender... Feng Daizhu felt that if she didn't take care of him, he would starve to death.
So she took out a bag of roasted beef jerky and a handful of large, round dates from her bag, all of which were washed clean. She had never been so kind to anyone before! After eating these, he shouldn't need to come back to catch fish anymore.
Unexpectedly, Dou Yanxun had already spotted her. His clothes were torn, but his expression was cold as he stood in ambush in front of her horse.
Feng Daizhu took a few steps closer and discovered that Dou Yanxun was holding a sharp-edged stone, which was being held close to the horse's eyes.
Oh my god! That's her beloved horse, Ah Hu! Why would he hurt Ah Hu!
Dou Yanxun narrowed his eyes, a hint of ferocity in them.
"Speak, what is your purpose?"
Feng Daizhu shook her head, puzzled.
A hint of hatred flickered at the corner of Dou Yanxun's mouth, and his eyes darkened slightly without him even realizing it.
"Who sent you to approach me? Dou Zhenhong? Or Dou Zhenjiang? Or... my grandfather, Dou Nianlian?"
At the time, she didn't recognize any of the names he mentioned. Later, she learned that they were all his relatives—members of the Dou family's ancestral clan. But if they were family, why would they harm him?
Feng Daizhu was terrified that he would actually stab Ahu, so she could only wave her hands and slowly approach him, but he gripped the stone in his hand even tighter.
"No one sent me to get close to you... I wanted to get close to you on my own... I didn't have any ulterior motives, I just wanted to protect you... I just like you..."
As she spoke, her voice grew softer and softer. After all, she was a young woman, and no matter how bold she was usually, she would still feel shy in front of the person she loved.
Dou Yanxun, however, looked her up and down as if he had heard something utterly ridiculous, and finally spat out a single word with a vicious glint in his eyes:
"roll."
After saying that, he turned and left without looking back, not even taking the food she had prepared for him on the stone.
Feng Daizhu was devastated and felt deeply humiliated. Tears welled in her eyes as she watched Dou Yanxun walk with a limp, seemingly having injured his foot at some point. Feng Daizhu abruptly wiped away her tears, jumped onto Ahu, and chased after that stubborn figure.
The horses' hooves clattered, and Feng Daizhu suddenly pulled on the reins, stopping Ahu in front of her. Feng Daizhu looked down at Dou Yanxun, who stared at her coldly, as if she were really annoying.
So what? She's fallen for him. She's determined to have him!
Feng Daizhu bent down amidst the howling wind, glaring fiercely at him, and mimicked his manner, saying each word clearly:
"Dou Yanxun, I've got my wooden bead for you—I will definitely have you! Just you wait!"
Isn't she just a Central Plains person? Her mother is from the Central Plains, and I heard she is the daughter of a wealthy family. Her father is Mohefu of the Xi tribe! (1) Feng Daizhu rode her horse very fast, feeling indignant as she ran, but her cheeks were still red to the roots of her neck.
Unexpectedly, Dou Yanxun came to find her a few days later.
At that time, a large caravan had arrived from the Central Plains, consisting of dozens of merchants of all kinds. She was excitedly planning to pick out rouge when she saw Dou Yanxun standing in the bustling crowd in the desert.
He had changed into a light blue robe at some point, as if he had just washed and dressed. His face was fair and clear, and his narrow eyes were deep and bright, with a light like stars in the night sky.
How can someone be so good-looking?
Feng Daizhu could only hear her own barely audible sigh.
"I'm going back now."
Dou Yanxun didn't give her a chance to greet him and started talking on his own.
"If you wish to see me, go to the Dou family in Chongsifang, south of Mujing City. I will be there."
She stood there, stunned. He was actually leaving? But wasn't he penniless? How was he going to get back? Besides, she hadn't even won him over yet; how could he just walk away like that…
Feng Daizhu was full of doubts when she noticed that he was wearing a very lustrous piece of jade around his neck.
Jade is produced in the northern frontier, and she could tell at a glance that the jade was of extraordinary quality. However, it had a shape she had never seen before, and it was very exquisite, like the kind of craftsmanship that only people from the Central Plains could make.
Dou Yanxun noticed her gaze, his voice softening slightly but still very low and hoarse: "These are my mother's belongings. I'm leaving the day after tomorrow... If everything goes well, perhaps we can meet again this autumn."
Feng Daizhu returned home dejectedly. She thought about it all night, and finally ran out before dawn. She knew where she could find him. Sure enough, the moon had not yet set. She dismounted, panting, and took out a handkerchief from her bosom.
It was filled with something, and looked bulging.
Dou Yanxun turned around, puzzled. He sat atop a high haystack, tall and slender, casting a lonely shadow behind him. Usually, he would sit here alone, gazing at the moon, lost in thought. She immediately guessed he would be here tonight.
He lowered his head and unfolded the handkerchief, revealing two crescent-shaped pieces of mutton-fat jade, resembling snow or frost, which, when joined together, resembled a full moon.
"...This is a coming-of-age gift from my grandmother, and I engraved some words on it. You are about to leave, so don't...don't forget the moon over the northern frontier."
The two crescent moons, one half with the character "珠" (zhu, meaning pearl) engraved on its bottom, and the other half with his name, "洵" (xun, meaning Xun).
She still remembers that Dou Yanxun was stunned for a long time, then looked up and smiled at her for the first time. He carefully put the things away and then handed her the half with his name engraved on it.
Later, when they met again, he was still smiling, but it was an endless, cold laugh as he coldly watched her, dressed in a blood-red wedding gown, bow to his elder brother. He had drunk a lot of wine and reeked of it. At that moment, however, all she could think about was severing ties with him. From now on, they would just be brother-in-law and sister-in-law… she told herself silently.
Feng Daizhu listened to the sound of rain, her fingertips gently tracing the grain of the sandalwood table. Her eyes reflected the shimmering green tea in her cup, and tears that had been welling up for a long time finally fell uncontrollably.
When did she change her mind?
After he left, she secretly sent someone to the Central Plains to inquire. It took her a long time, half a year, to finally get news. But the scout shook his head and said, "The illegitimate son of the Dou family is utterly dissolute, indulging in brothels, drunkenness, and gambling..."
How is that possible?!
She simply couldn't believe it, and after agonizing over it for several days, she decided to go to the Central Plains herself. It would be a good opportunity to stay at her maternal grandmother's house, which she hadn't seen for many years, for a few days.
But when she hid behind the screen and secretly saw everything, she couldn't help but cover her mouth and take several steps back.
By then, Dou Yanxun's reputation in Mujing was clearly ruined. Everyone said that this illegitimate son had tarnished the Dou family's reputation, and they lamented that Bai Shi, as the matriarch, had squandered all her years of hard work by this prodigal son who had only recently returned home.
She witnessed him drinking heavily in brothels, spending money like water, casually tossing out several silver notes, which were snatched up by everyone in the restaurant.
She also witnessed him becoming completely intoxicated, spending his days indulging in gambling with a group of playboys. Even when his older brother went to call him back, he would turn away in a hurry.
How could she marry such a person... Was the pitiful Dou Yanxun from before just an act?
Lost and disoriented, Feng Daizhu accidentally bumped into someone's arms.
It was his upright and handsome elder brother.
As brothers, even if they weren't born of the same mother, they inevitably shared some resemblance in their features. She stared blankly at Dou Yanzhou's upturned lips, feeling a surge of grievance.
She hadn't let anyone down; it was Dou Yanxun who had wronged her. Thinking this, she accepted Dou Yanzhou without hesitation. In fact, deep down, she even felt a secret satisfaction with her choice.
Since you are such a despicable person, then I will show you happiness right before your eyes.
At that time, Feng Daizhu was unaware that all the happiness she thought she had was actually a lie.
She chose to believe everything she saw, everything about Dou Yanxun's disgraceful and unrestrained behavior, and left filled with resentment. Later, however, she was forced to believe everything she witnessed about Dou Yanzhou.
He was a liar, scheming, corrupt, and hedonistic man... yet he had the heart to let his younger brother's reputation be ruined. He did all sorts of despicable things under the name Dou Yanxun, leaving his own brother to clean up all the messes. Meanwhile, in public, he was still the handsome eldest son of the Dou family.
She married just that kind of person.
She brought this upon herself.
So, during those countless sleepless nights after marrying into the Dou family, she could only weep, watching the man beside her, his body reeking of undeniable perfume. During the day, she would feign indifference, yet still try to cover for him. She had once resolutely abandoned Dou Yanxun; how could she let him know that she had made the wrong choice and was unhappy?
...She was so tired, she was really exhausted.
Feng Daizhu lowered her head and slowly raised the celadon teacup with a dark blue base in her hand.
When was the last time you spoke to Dou Yanxun?
It was the night shortly after Lin Xucai married into the family that she lied and claimed that she had been handling the jade disc that had broken in two for too long, which even caused a scene at the other courtyard... At that time, she just wanted to know if he would feel any pity when he thought of the past.
Unexpectedly, the next day, in front of the silent hanging flower gate, she walked alone under the corridor with a heavy heart, when he grabbed her wrist and quickly swept her away into the dappled bamboo shadows.
Her heart was pounding, and she hurriedly looked into his eyes.
Yet, just like the day they first met, his eyes were filled with indifference, wariness, and an endless, raging coldness.
"—I'm warning you, don't cause any more trouble. In particular, don't touch her."
When did he start protecting Lin Xu? Didn't he dislike Lin Xu?
Undeterred, she later used the pretext of delivering something to Lin Xu to secretly include a uniquely shaped jade gourd. Lin Xu, completely unaware, foolishly accepted it and kept thanking her. But a single glance from him would have revealed that it was a gift from her.
That was when they first met. Dou Yanxun had been running for a long time with a lamb in his hand, and his lips were cracked from thirst. She threw him her gourd full of water. He hesitated for a long time, but still poured it out and drank it from his palm.
Even so, even so. Even when he was at home, even when they happened to meet in the corridor, he never looked at her once.
Everyone in the manor said that the Second Master and his wife were inseparable and deeply in love after their marriage. At first, she listened without paying much attention, but later every word seemed to cut her heart.
To Dou Yanxun, she was now utterly meaningless. It was as if Dou Yanxun didn't care about her life or death; it was no longer his concern.
The sound of rain seemed to have subsided considerably, and the tear tracks on Feng Daizhu's face had long since dried. She looked at the cup again, raised her head, and drank all the tea in it.
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