43 Chapter Forty-Three
After the divorce, Xie Lang will definitely not care about her anymore.
Chapter Forty-Three
After much deliberation, Zhao Pansheng gritted his teeth and stomped his foot before pushing open the door and entering the room again, carefully walking to the bedside.
Seeing that the young lady's eyes were still closed as if she were asleep, Zhao Pansheng pursed his lips, stepped forward and whispered, "Miss, no matter what happens, health is the most important thing. Qingju has cooked noodles for you. I'll go and bring them to you. Let's eat our fill first before thinking about anything else."
Zhao Pansheng didn't know what had happened to make her so dejected. She was awake but didn't call them, but she knew the saying, "Where there's life, there's hope."
Seeing that the young lady did not respond, just as she was about to continue persuading her, she saw the young lady open her eyes, but she did not look at her, but only looked up.
Zhao Pansheng was startled by the young lady's silent, lifeless gaze, and then fell silent as if someone were squeezing his heart. Hearing the commotion outside, he hurriedly said, "Miss, please wait for me, I'll be right back."
He carefully brought in the chicken noodle soup and placed it on a low table. Zhao Pansheng had just picked up his chopsticks to feed his mistress when he saw her close her eyes again. Knowing that she didn't want to be disturbed, Zhao Pansheng brought in a teacup, placed it down, and then left to quietly wait outside the door.
For three whole days, Liu Qingqing's fever would rise and fall, then return. In between, the Regent's Consort sent someone to invite the young lady to visit the Prince's residence, and also had Granny Li send her back. This time, Liu Qingqing's illness was severe. The Old Madam and Xie Wanyan had both come to see her, and even the Marquis and the Second Master had sent people to deliver tonics, but Xie Lang did not appear and did not return even once.
In a hazy, dreamlike state, Liu Qingqing, in her slumber, recalled the loneliness and desolation before her marriage, and also saw the joy, loss, and later blissful happiness after her marriage. In her dream, she felt as if she were being cradled by warm flower petals, but when she opened her eyes, she was met with a chill.
As if her closest lover had pushed her off a cliff, Liu Qingqing lay in bed for two more days. After her fever completely subsided, she managed to get up and resume her usual routine.
No one knew what had happened to the young lady, only that after her serious illness, she had become more composed and serene. After recovering, she often seemed lost in thought. Perhaps it was because of the recent cool weather, but she no longer went to that willow tree, which she used to frequent after meals.
They didn't ask about the adults' whereabouts, whether they would return for dinner, or care about anything else concerning the adults.
For ten consecutive days, the master did not return to the courtyard, but instead returned to the mansion, where he stayed only in the outer study. The servants in the courtyard began to gossip, but since these were all newcomers who had followed the mistress and were considered her people, although there was gossip, they were all secretly praying that the mistress could secure her position as the principal wife.
Granny Li also advised her, "Husbands and wives always quarrel sometimes, don't let it become a rift. How can two living, breathing people not have their unhappy moments? Just don't take it to heart."
Liu Qingqing gazed quietly into the old woman's aged eyes. The sunlight revealed the deep lines at the corners of her eyes, like ravines. It made sense; the old woman had gone to the Liu family with her mother, who passed away a few years later. The old woman had raised her under the watchful eye of Madam Ying, undoubtedly exhausted, and had hardly had a good time with her.
A gentle smile appeared on her face: "Does Granny like life these days?"
Granny Li was taken aback, wondering why her young mistress had asked such a question. But the next moment, she saw the tenderness and pity in her mistress's eyes, and her heart instantly felt as if it had been stirred with a hot stick, making her eyelids feel hot. She pretended not to understand and laughed heartily, "Of course I like it! Life is so comfortable now! This old servant is also benefiting from your kindness, young mistress!"
Upon hearing this, Liu Qingqing lowered her eyes, reached out and grasped the old woman's wrinkled hand. Even though the old woman looked quite energetic with makeup on, her hands, which had been working every day, could not hide the hardships of the past. She slowly stroked the scars of frostbite on the old woman's hand and the cracks on her fingers with her fingertips.
They said nothing, yet it was as if they had said everything.
Li Mama's already brimming eyes immediately welled up with tears. Seeing her mistress touch the unsightly, disgusting cut on her hand, she felt ashamed, her face burning with embarrassment. The two, mistress and servant, cared for each other deeply, yet rarely were they so intimate. And how could her mistress touch such a disgusting thing? Not even one from her own body! Li Mama felt burning up all over and wanted to escape. She couldn't bear to see her mistress cry.
Taking advantage of someone calling her from outside, Granny Li immediately pulled her hand back, stood up abruptly, mumbled a couple of times but couldn't say anything, and then ran away like an eel, leaving Liu Qingqing behind.
After Li Mama left, Liu Qingqing remained in the same position for a while before looking at the busy and energetic nanny in the courtyard.
"Then let Granny live such a good life for the rest of her life, is that alright?"
Knowing that Granny Li couldn't hear her, she still spoke softly. Just then, as if sensing her voice, Granny Li turned around and smiled at her, her wrinkles resembling blooming hibiscus flowers.
"Granny, it's settled over there!" she said softly.
From a distance, Granny Li couldn't hear what she was saying at all, but seeing that she was smiling, she smiled even more and nodded repeatedly.
Seeing that she was alright, Granny Li went to attend to other matters. Once Granny Li was out of sight, the faint smile on Liu Qingqing's face vanished, and her gaze became empty as she stared blankly into the void before her.
She's been thinking a lot these past few days, and feels that life is boring.
Before marriage, she was dependent on others and annoyed by them; after marriage, she was at their mercy and had no control over her own life.
Standing in this courtyard usually filled her with sweet, tender feelings. But now, looking up at the square sky, she felt breathless. She knew Xie Lang hadn't returned in a long time, and she knew he hadn't come to see her even once when she was ill. If it were before, she would have cried her eyes out. But after that cold, rainy night, she felt it was better that he hadn't returned.
She didn't know how to face him, as if she herself was separated from the outside world by a layer of water film.
Her mind was in turmoil. She should be grateful that Xie Lang had finally rescued her from the Liu family. But when she thought they were in love, yet he secretly planned to divorce her in three years, she couldn't be grateful to him anymore.
Even if you just let her know, she won't linger like a worm.
Now, in his eyes, is she also seen as a burden, just like those people in the Liu family?
Liu Qingqing spent all her time thinking about what to do. Where could she go after the divorce?
He asked Xie Wanyan, "How do you know she has nowhere to go? But where could she go?"
She really wanted to ask Xie Lang where she could go!
Xie Lang said it would be three years, but that didn't count. He might divorce her in a few days. What could she do? She had no power to change anything; of course, she could do whatever the noble young master of the Marquis's mansion said.
Liu Qingqing had lost weight, and her heart felt lighter.
Liu Qingqing didn't have any other thoughts, only feeling utterly lost and finding the Marquis's mansion utterly uninteresting. After Xie Lang's cold words, the entire mansion had become austere and imposing, making people uncomfortable.
She may have been a burden to Xie Lang; without her, Xie Lang could have found a beautiful woman who suited his taste.
With just a little thought, many things become clear.
No wonder they didn't consummate their marriage on the wedding day, and even after that, they only slept together twice a month, no more than that. He didn't want to touch her much, as if she would defile him.
Lost in thought, tears unknowingly streamed down her face. She only realized it when she felt the coolness on her cheek. Liu Qingqing quickly wiped away her tears and sighed softly.
It turns out that Xie Lang was no different from Liu Xu and Liu Yuanzhou. Thinking of this, everything else faded away.
All she asked for was for someone to put her first.
No one helped her, and she had no one to rely on.
The resentment that had been building up inside him finally burst forth—everyone says Liu Qingying is good, so let him have Liu Qingying.
Perhaps she was never so lucky in this life—no one would put her first.
She was always the poor soul who was easily abandoned.
A sudden abdominal cramp and a feeling of suffocation enveloped my entire body.
Liu Qingqing coughed repeatedly, leaning against the doorframe. For the first time, she seriously considered what she truly sought in this life. Was she really just going to shamelessly endure the disdain of others in the Marquis's mansion, pretending not to know anything?
"Miss",
Zhao Pansheng suddenly appeared out of nowhere, grabbed her, glanced behind her, and whispered, "Miss, you've had your period. Are you having abdominal pain? I'll go get you a hot water bottle right now."
Zhao Pansheng was efficient; he brought over a clean bunch of ginger while calling for Qingju. Qingju immediately ran to the small kitchen to cook ginger soup.
Seeing that something was wrong, Granny Li hurried back and, without saying a word, tucked Liu Qingqing into the quilt, muttering, "Miss is most afraid of catching a cold, and this time she's caught a chill again. She must take good care of herself. What's wrong with lying down for a couple more days? Can't the young lady of the Marquis's mansion manage on her own? If it's not enough, we'll find an excuse to go to the estate in the suburbs for a while and let her rest properly."
As she spoke, she curled Liu Qingqing into a ball and tucked her into the quilt. Liu Qingqing let Li Mama do as she pleased. Although she couldn't help feeling sad, she felt warm inside. At least with Li Mama, she was the most important person, wasn't she?
"Granny, what should I do if leaving the manor displeases people?" she asked, mustering her courage.
Upon hearing this, Granny Li glared at her, "If you're unhappy, then so be it. Why does Miss always think about others? You should think about yourself first! The nobleman has given Miss so many gold ingots; you could live well anywhere else!"
Liu Qingqing stretched out her arms and hugged Li Mama tightly around the waist, pressing her face against Li Mama's warm embrace, hiding her reddened eyes.
After leaving the main house, Granny Li was extremely agitated, like an ant on a hot pan. Could she not have noticed that her young mistress and son-in-law were in trouble? Did she think she'd wasted her fifty-odd years of life?
Granny Li headed straight for the outer study. She wanted to ask Lord Xie what her young lady had done wrong to deserve such coldness from him.
They went there in a huff, but unexpectedly, Xie Wu stopped them at the door.
Xie Wu was respectful, first bowing to Granny Li before asking, "Granny, are you here to see the master?"
He quietly ushered Li Mama aside, his face full of conflict and hesitation. Seeing that the old woman's face was about to get angry, he spoke in a low voice, "The master was injured again while he was out. He was afraid that the madam would worry, so he was recuperating in the study and dared not let the madam see him. Please put in a good word for him with the madam. He should be better in a couple of days."
As they were talking, the study door opened, and a servant hurried out carrying a basin full of blood.
Granny Li's face turned red and white as she glared at Xie Wu, demanding, "Is the master really injured? Is it serious?"
Xie Wu looked around, covered his mouth and whispered, "It's not as serious as usual, but it's still a knife wound."
Granny Li carefully examined Xie Wu, and by this time she was mostly convinced. She sighed, wanted to say something, but then closed her mouth again. Finally, she said with a sense of helplessness, "Then please go back and see your wife as soon as you are better. It's not good for husband and wife to never see each other."
Xie Wu nodded repeatedly, "What you say is true, I remember it all. Is Madam feeling any better these past two days?"
Granny Li nodded, but hesitated slightly, "She's much better... but... I don't understand things concerning young people..."
Someone called for Xie Wu, and before Li Mama could even see the person in question, the matter was hastily concluded, and she left satisfied. After watching Li Mama turn the corner and leave, she looked towards the study with a complicated expression, and just like Li Mama had just done, she sighed softly.
Just then, the Regent's Palace was also bustling with activity.
Li Ying, who was usually never home, suddenly returned today. With the return of this little tyrant, the entire palace was on high alert.
Li Ying dismounted nimbly, tossed the reins to the gatekeeper, and galloped into the mansion. After only a few steps, he suddenly stopped, turned back, and asked the servant following behind, "Is my father in the mansion today?"
The butler rushed over and hurriedly replied, "His Highness is in his study. Is Young Master going to find His Highness?"
Li Ying scoffed. Who wants to see him?
He pressed further, "Is Father busy?"
The butler nodded, "There is a distinguished person here."
Li Ying's eyes lit up, and he swiftly flew towards the painted boat like a soaring eagle.
It turned out that his clingy cousin had arrived, and his father couldn't get away for a moment. He had to hurry and find his mother, or he would be chased away by his father again.
He has important business to attend to today.
As they approached the lake, Li Ying stopped abruptly. He walked lightly toward the painted boat, straightening his clothes and checking his hair for neatness. He took out a brocade pouch from his bosom, inside which were two jade hairpins. Relieved to see they were intact, he carefully tucked them back into his bosom.
This is a jade hairpin that he carved himself for his mother and sister. He doesn't know if they will like it.
Just thinking about their surprised and delighted expressions made Li Ying's heart pound!
Just then, he heard familiar footsteps. Li Ying snapped out of his reverie and hurried toward the pleasure boat. Sure enough, he saw his mother's figure. He couldn't help but rush over and hug his mother tightly.
"Mother, I've missed you so much!"
Forget about important matters for now. Li Ying, who was only thirteen and at the age where he loved to complain, slumped over and grumbled, "My father won't let me come back. Does he not miss me at all?"
Ying Yi released her son; the once clingy little guy now had to look up at her. She patted her young son's now grown shoulders, "How could your father not miss you?"
The tone shifted abruptly, "Why did you come back in such a hurry today? Your mother didn't even have time to make you crystal meat."
Li Ying then remembered the important matter, his expression changed drastically, and he immediately became reliable. "I have arranged a hot spring estate for my sister, not far from the estate that Mother left for her. However, my sister has not been to the estate recently, so I thought I would come back and tell Mother."
Upon hearing this, Ying Yi released her grip, frowned, and walked towards the shore. Li Ying followed, and seeing this, she also became anxious, "What exactly happened? Is something really wrong with my sister?"
Ying Yi recalled that a few days ago, someone had reported that Madam Xie had caught a chill after the autumn rains and was afraid that she would not come to the Prince's residence for the time being.
She suddenly turned around, saw the worry on her young son's face, hid the worry in her own eyes, and then asked, "Have your sister's people gone recently?"
Li Ying shook his head.
Ying Yi's heart tightened, and she gripped her handkerchief tightly. Li Ying, with his sharp eyes, immediately realized what was happening and became anxious as well, looking as if he was about to rush to the Marquis's residence to see what was going on. Ying Yi gently stopped him, saying, "Don't panic, I'll send someone to ask."
Li Ying: "But who should we ask? My sister is very perceptive. If there is something wrong, she will not reveal a single word even if someone else asks her!"
Ying Yi's eyes sparkled: "It just so happens that your cousin is returning to the capital tomorrow, so you and your brother can both meet up."
Li Ying asked in confusion, "Cousin?"
Ying Yi: "You'll know when you see it tomorrow, don't rush."
Although Li Ying possessed the heroic bearing of Regent Li Jin, he was still only a thirteen-year-old boy. Seeing his mother's confident assurances and being deliberately coaxed, he quickly put the matter aside. He was already thinking about bringing the jade hairpin with him when he saw his sister next time.
After finally coaxing her young son to rest, Ying Yi's expression softened. She frowned as she gazed at the shimmering water of the lake, her heart filled with unease. She ordered someone to summon her guards.
Ying Yi, the head of the Regent's Palace's secret guards, appeared like a ghost, tall and straight, her long hair tied up, exuding a dashing and heroic air. Though a woman, she was in no way inferior to a man. How dignified and upright she was! Truly worthy of being the head of the Prince's Palace's secret guards.
Ying clasped his hands in a fist and asked, "Does the Princess have any instructions?"
Ying Yi couldn't hide her worried expression: "Could we go and see the Marquis's residence?"
Ying paused slightly, clasped his hands in apology, and said, "Forgive this servant for his incompetence. The situation in the Marquis's residence is complicated, and we have not yet approached it."
Ying Yi: "Oh? How is it complicated?"
Ying Yi explained everything he knew: "The Marquis's mansion has its own secret guards, but they are divided into three groups, each under the command of the Marquis, Lord Xie, and Lord Xie Pan respectively. The Marquis's secret guards protect the entire mansion. A year before Lord Xie's marriage, the people from Jialan Garden were withdrawn and arranged by Lord Xie himself. Now the Marquis's secret guards are mainly led by the Marquis and the Old Madam."
"As for Lord Xie Pan's secret guards, they only guarded his own courtyard. Neither the Marquis nor Lord Xie knew of their existence."
Upon hearing this, Ying Yi frowned. "As far as I know, Lord Xie Pan is not yet married?"
You should nod in agreement.
That's strange. They're all unmarried and alone, so why would they need to assign secret guards?
Just as Ying Yi was lost in thought, Ying Yi gritted his teeth, his mind in turmoil, and finally whispered, "I'll go to the Marquis's residence to take a look. Please wait for me."
Ying Yi asked worriedly, "Could you get hurt?"
Ying Yi kowtowed and said, "You saved my life and gave me a name. What does it matter if I am injured?"
Seeing Ying Yi's expression change slightly, Ying Yi quickly added, "Your Highness, rest assured, I will be careful."
After striding through the corridor, Yingyi leaned against the wall, looking utterly frustrated, slapping his own mouth repeatedly, completely devoid of the dashing and heroic demeanor he had just displayed.
Ying Yi remained standing by the lake, motionless, until after a while, when she boarded the viewing pavilion on the third floor of the painted boat. Looking towards the Marquis's residence, all she could see in the distance were the solemn and imposing green tiles and red walls of the mansion.
She clenched and unclenched the handkerchief in her hand, just like her heart.
now.
In the study of the Regent's Palace.
The young emperor was idly lying on a long rosewood table, fiddling with a wooden ball. With a flick of his finger, the ball rolled over and then rolled back. He looked up at his uncle, who was solemnly reviewing the memorials he had read.
"Uncle, do you think my wooden ball is well made?"
The young emperor was only one year older than Li Ying, and his name was Li Ying. Contrary to the rumors of his domineering and tyrannical nature, Li Ying was actually romantic and unrestrained, and had no interest in politics or power. In previous years, he enjoyed painting insects and birds, and in the last two years, he has taken up woodworking. Recently, he even secretly made a few Luban locks, but he dared not let his imperial uncle know.
As expected, the Imperial Uncle glanced at him coldly upon hearing this but did not say a word, though the vermilion pen did not stop.
The young emperor grinned and said, "Uncle, how long am I supposed to keep up this act? I don't want to be this damn emperor. I want to see this beautiful land. Do you think the Yellow River is really as powerful as described in the books?"
This time, the imperial uncle pretended not to hear him and ignored him completely. The young emperor sighed deeply and said to himself, "My birthday wish this year is to abdicate and return the throne to the imperial uncle."
The wooden ball rolled back and forth, and the young emperor lamented to himself, secretly glancing at the tall and burly man, "I wonder if God will grant me this dream."
Li Jin snorted coldly.
The young emperor curled his lip, knowing that there was no chance today.
But he was telling the truth.
The young emperor was of a detached nature. His beloved grandfather and father had both perished in battle, and his mother had followed him in death, leaving him and his uncle to depend on each other. As he grew older, his uncle became distant, and he found the reign of emperor utterly meaningless. A lonely man indeed, truly a lonely man. Besides, he hadn't conquered the empire; how could he accept it with a clear conscience?
The enormous palace, like a giant, man-eating maw, terrified him.
The thought of being sent back to the cold palace if he lingered any longer made him feel extremely uncomfortable.
The thought of the numerous memorials urging him to marry, arriving like snowflakes, only intensified his anguish. He didn't want to be treated like a piece of meat, fought over by all sorts of random women. Just thinking about it gave him a headache, made his eyelashes well up with tears, and made him want to cry.
Suddenly, a sigh was heard.
"Ying'er, your royal uncle promised my brother that he would take good care of you."
Upon hearing this, Li Ying burst into tears. He stubbornly turned his head away, refusing to look at her, and cried without hesitation. "Is leaving me alone in the palace considered taking good care of me? Royal Uncle, I have been born and raised within the high palace walls. I don't want to stay there by myself anymore."
"..."
Li Ying's eyes darted around. He had originally intended to tell his uncle that he had recently taken in a clever and quick-witted little girl, as agile as a wild rabbit during an autumn hunt. Looking at this little girl, he felt much freer.
But the palace, with its gaping maw like a monstrous beast, was not a place for her.
Li Ying originally wanted to tell his uncle about this, but seeing his uncle's rigid and inflexible appearance, he swallowed his words.
He even suspected that his uncle had used up all his cleverness and skill on his aunt.
The Regent's Palace was bustling with activity, while the Marquis of Zhongwu's residence was also busy.
Today is a day off, and the Marquis sent word that he and the Second Master will both be returning to the manor. However, they are in a hurry, so there will be no family banquet.
When Liu Qingqing received the news, she was looking at the account books in the east wing. She breathed a sigh of relief when she heard that she did not have to attend the family banquet, but when she thought of her second uncle, her heart sank again.
Before I could think about it, I saw Qingju rush over, looking anxious.
Liu Qingqing: "What happened?"
"Miss, the master is back! He said he'd be here shortly. Would you like to change your clothes and dress up a bit?"
Lately, Liu Qingqing has had no interest in dressing up, and even calling her elegant would be an exaggeration. She wears a light-colored dress, her long hair is tied up, and she doesn't even wear a hairpin, making her look rather plain, without any trace of the wealth and nobility of a noble lady.
It turned out that Xie Lang was coming.
The anxiety that had been building up finally subsided, but the arrow that had been shot was destined to pierce the flesh.
Let them come, what else can we do?
However, he picked up the account book again shortly afterward.
In her anxiety, Qingju stomped her foot and looked at Zhao Pansheng, pleading with him to help persuade him. Zhao Pansheng, however, gently shook his head at her.
The sun was setting, and it was getting colder.
After Zhao Pansheng brought over the charcoal brazier, he dragged Qingju out of the east wing. Outside, all that could be heard were the sounds of people working to welcome Xie Lang back.
Not only was this Marquis's residence boring, but the capital city was also incredibly dull. She wanted to leave.
Once this thought arose, it was like oil being poured onto a raging fire, burning fiercely and unstoppable.
She didn't know where to go, but she wanted to leave!
Liu Qingqing's hand holding the account book paused slightly. How could she concentrate on reading it at all? Her mind was filled with thoughts of finding a good place to go before Xie Lang abandoned her.
Where can we go?
Although I now have a lot of money, the world outside is chaotic, and guarding my wealth is the most difficult thing.
After the divorce, Xie Lang would certainly not care about her anymore. And with the covetous young Lady Ying still lurking in the Liu household, she would also be barred from returning.
If she were to divorce and leave the mansion, it would be nothing more than announcing to the world that there was a prime piece of meat for her to devour. She needed to find a foolproof solution.
They've been married for half a year now. Although Xie Lang said three years, what if he suddenly changes his mind? What if he turns on her and lets her leave tomorrow? She can't just sit and wait for her fate; she should act decisively.
Just then, the door to the east wing was pushed open with a soft creaking sound.
The next moment, Liu Qingqing caught a whiff of the Moon Scale Fragrance on Xie Lang's body and froze.
[Author's Note]
Next chapter preview:
"My husband, I am not feeling well."
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