76 Chapter Seventy-Six
This was the first time Xie Lang had heard what she was thinking.
Chapter Seventy-Six
Having come to this point, it seems pointless to keep it to myself.
If you don't love him anymore, why would you care what he thinks of you? No.
It doesn't matter if he sees her as a restless, promiscuous woman.
Thinking about it this way, my mind became a little clearer.
But there was also a certain... curiosity to see what he would do.
When she looked up at Xie Lang again, her eyes held a magnanimity and composure that she herself was unaware of, which made Xie Lang's heart tighten.
"We're divorced now, so please don't call me 'Madam' anymore, Lord Xie."
Liu Qingqing's voice was soft but firm, "We can't blame it all on you for how we've gotten to this point; I've also made mistakes."
After their devastating breakup, this was the first time they had calmly spoken their minds. She suddenly wanted to tell him her past feelings, as a way of putting an end to it.
When a person is about to die, their words are kind. The same is true after love dies.
“I didn’t have a good time in the Liu family back then. You also know that Xiao Yingshi is not easy to get along with. I was able to stay in the Liu family well thanks to my marriage with you. You took care of me without your knowledge.”
Liu Qingqing smiled serenely at him, her beauty as lovely as an orchid, and Xie Lang couldn't help but stare at her.
“My father and brothers favored Liu Qingying, but whenever you came to the mansion and she acted coquettishly or foolishly, you always ignored her and stood on my side. I felt happy! Gradually, I always looked forward to your visit. When you came, you protected me, and I felt better. Later, marrying you became my only hope. I felt that you treated me differently and gave me a kind of favor that I had never received before, even if it was just a little bit.”
"Moreover, a significant portion of my mother's dowry is in the hands of Xiao Yingshi, and my father watches coldly from the sidelines. I can only pin my hopes on you. After marrying you, I will use your influence to get my dowry back."
She laid it all out for him; she wasn't a virtuous person, and upon closer inspection, she was quite vulgar, with her own petty calculations.
It ended his hopes, and it ended hers too.
Seeing him like this, she wasn't unmoved, yet she was even more determined not to repeat her mistakes. Seeing him cry, seeing him hurt for her sake, she felt a strange sense of satisfaction, a bizarre wave of pleasure washing over her…
She felt that she herself was not quite normal either.
Concealing her thoughts, Liu Qingqing glanced at him with a smile, and sighed softly as she thought of the past, "Back then, I didn't dare let you know, afraid that you would look down on me."
After speaking, he paused, a faint sense of time passing in his voice, and shook his head with a light laugh, lowering his eyes.
Sunlight streamed through the window and fell upon her, outlining a rainbow of colors.
Xie Lang, however, instinctively sensed bitterness in the corner of her lips. His fingers trembled slightly as he gently hooked her fingertips. Liu Qingqing noticed this but didn't pull away, continuing to recount her past feelings as if immersed in the past.
"Although there were some bumps at the beginning after we got married, I felt really happy later. You were so good to me, even giving me your salary and private savings without holding anything back. I'm not afraid you'll laugh at me, but I didn't dare to fall asleep at night, afraid that I would wake up and it would all be a dream. I never dared to think that my dream would come true."
"But later... I don't know why you started to distance yourself from me. At that time, I thought something was wrong. I guess I neglected you after I found out about Aunt Jia's matter? I was a little sad then, and I was also panicking. At that time, I felt that my husband was my everything, and I didn't know what to do. I was so panicked that I couldn't sleep at night and even hid under the covers to cry secretly."
It's all in the past now; I actually laughed out loud when I talked about it.
Liu Qingqing, however, did not notice that Xie Lang's narrow eyes were even more bloodshot.
"And then what?"
He asked in a hoarse voice.
This was the first time he had ever heard what she was thinking.
"Later that day, I happened to hear that Liu Xu had come to the mansion."
No longer feigning virtue, she even addressed her father by his full name. Liu Qingqing scoffed, "I was afraid he'd say something unpleasant and cause you trouble, so I left quietly."
She paused again, then said, "I never expected to hear you say that I am gentle and refined, inferior to Qingying. At that time, you were my only pillar in the capital. Hearing you say that felt like the sky was about to fall."
Liu Qingqing smiled, but tears welled in her eyes. She proudly raised her face and wiped away the tears with the side of her palm as they fell, preventing Xie Lang from seeing her hot tears.
"Were you planning to leave before?"
"Um."
Looking down at the wound, she saw that it had stopped bleeding. Liu Qingqing shed tears, her mood soured, and she didn't want to talk to him anymore.
So they simply ended the conversation with a direct conclusion.
"In the future, when living with others, don't act like this again. You can't see into someone's heart. If you don't speak up, how will anyone know what you're thinking? It's better to discuss things together."
"If we had discussed things with each other back then, we might not be doing so well."
Liu Qingqing stood up and looked out the window, then suddenly shook her head and chuckled, "But back then we didn't have much affection for each other, so who could trust whom?"
Yes, back then, who could trust whom?
On the surface, things seem fine, but in reality, everyone has their own considerations, and their hearts are not in the same place. How can they live well?
It was just a joke, a lie that fooled others and even myself.
After saying that, she didn't wait for Xie Lang to speak, took a step out, and as she turned around, she lowered her eyes without even looking at him, and closed the door.
Liu Qingqing returned to her study and had just sat down when the door was suddenly pushed open. Liu Qingqing looked up in surprise; Xie Lang had actually followed her.
Although he wore an outer robe, his bare feet trod on the gray ground, and his fair and clean skin was covered in dust. Liu Qingqing's gaze froze.
"Why didn't you tell me before?" he asked hoarsely.
Liu Qingqing paused for a moment upon hearing this, then smiled and said, "Perhaps it's because back then... I loved you so much. Because I loved you, I was cautious and careful, afraid of annoying you."
"And now?"
"Forced relationships are never sweet."
What if I insist?
Liu Qingqing raised the corner of her eye slightly, and instead asked about something else, "Does Your Excellency know what I like to eat, what I enjoy, and what I dislike?"
Xie Lang remained silent for a moment, and Liu Qingqing gave him no room to refute, continuing, "You don't even understand me yet, but you say you love me. Your love is too shallow."
After saying that, his gaze fell downwards, sweeping over the picture albums placed on the table.
Fu Xiuzhu carried the herbs into the backyard and was about to dry them in the yard when he glanced into the study as he passed by.
She glanced over Xie Lang's broad shoulders, then waved to him, "Brother, come and see."
Xie Lang followed her gaze and their eyes met. He then raised his hand and closed the study door.
The fingers gripping the door panel tightened.
A few moments later, he turned and walked towards the table, thinking it was something, but when he went over to take a look, his face darkened.
A stack of men's portraits piled together was quite an eyesore!
He glanced at her once and looked away in disgust. She loved reading strange tales, was lustful and greedy, and would never be interested in such an ordinary, thin man. He had neither wealth nor beauty, nor strength.
He had just breathed a sigh of relief when he heard her speak.
"Now I don't ask for much anymore, it would be great to find someone who cares about me and understands me."
Liu Qingqing casually picked out a card to show him, "Brother, what do you think of this person? He looks kind and gentle. I heard that he only has an elderly mother at home, and his mother is a virtuous and kind person who is highly praised. If you marry into this family, you should be easy to get along with."
Xie Lang never expected that she was serious!
A tidal wave of emotions surged within him, but he managed to suppress the churning bitterness and gazed intently at her. His gaze seemed to speak volumes, a mixture of pain and affection that made her unable to bear looking at him any longer. She said she couldn't bear to look, yet she glanced at him again.
"Wait a moment."
Xie Lang said this and turned to leave, carefully closing the door behind him.
The study fell silent. Liu Qingqing leaned back in her wooden chair and sighed softly.
She raised her hand to cover her chest, unable to describe the feeling inside.
It felt like a wish had been fulfilled, yet also like a sense of loss.
Fu Xiuzhu had just finished putting away the last herb and straightened up when Xie Lang turned around after closing the door and their eyes met. Fu Xiuzhu smiled and said, "Brother."
This was called by Liu Qingqing.
wild ambition!
Xie Lang paused, then said coldly and aloofly, "Just call me Young Master Lin."
He even gave himself a surname.
Fu Xiuzhu glanced at the other man's loose clothes but didn't see any injuries. He smiled and nodded good-naturedly, "Understood, Young Master Lin."
The contest thus came to an end without anyone noticing.
After Xie Lang returned to his room, Fu Xiuzhu withdrew his gaze and rubbed his fingers together.
Perhaps he's overthinking it?
I've heard that Lord Xie lives a life of luxury, so I doubt he would stay in this simple courtyard.
But he had never heard that the girl's brother was such an outstanding person; he still needed to have someone investigate further.
Liu Qingqing was lost in thought in the study, resting her chin on her hand, when she heard their voices outside.
Instead of looking at the portrait, he picked up a book lying face down next to him and started reading.
It was a new book that Lin Mei had found for her, saying it was the most popular book in the market recently, but Liu Qingqing had no interest in it at first and flipped through it half-heartedly.
Xie Lang returned shortly afterward, dressed properly and looking as presentable as ever.
"Brother," she called softly.
Xie Lang glanced at her but didn't respond. Hearing those two words now felt like being pricked by needles, and he pursed his lips tightly.
He held a sandalwood box in his hand and placed it on the table, as if by chance, it perfectly covered the damn portrait.
“You left the capital in a hurry last time and didn’t take these with you, so I sent them over. They just arrived today.”
Xie Lang tapped the ledger lightly. "These are the ledgers for the past six months. Take a look and see if there are any discrepancies."
"The rewards and gold ingots from the palace were originally stored in the treasury, but I was afraid you would need them urgently, so I exchanged them for silver notes first."
Upon opening the wooden box, one finds a thick stack of silver notes, each worth a hundred taels!
Liu Qingqing was stunned by this unexpected windfall. To be honest, since leaving the capital, she hadn't expected that those things there would have any connection to her anymore. She could only regretfully leave it there, but at least it would provide for Granny Li and the others.
I never expected it would come back to me!
Liu Qingqing placed her hand on the wooden box in a daze. Xie Lang then moved the account book to her side, as if by chance, covering her hand, but withdrew it in an instant.
"This is the income for half a year."
If Liu Qingqing looked closely, she could see that his fingers were trembling slightly.
Forget about him for the moment, Liu Qingqing picked up the account book and started looking at it.
I wonder how profitable the clinic and the medicinal herb fields are. If the income is good, then Granny Li and the others will also be doing well.
Her mind was completely absorbed in the ledgers, and she couldn't pull herself away from the sensation of someone touching her ankle.
Xie Lang lifted her leg and carefully examined the old injury on her ankle.
Seeing that she didn't react, he felt like he was split in two.
He felt half relieved and took a good look at her injuries, otherwise she probably wouldn't have let him get close.
His other half, however, left him with a bitter taste in his mouth. How many times had he been by her side, never once had her gaze left him?
Lifting her skirt, the wound on her ankle was revealed, the dark red, ulcerated skin standing out starkly against the surrounding pristine condition... it was quite alarming.
He gently touched her with his fingertips, even though it had already healed and new flesh had grown, his fingertips trembled as if afraid of hurting her.
Xie Lang took out a jade bottle containing ointment that had been given to him by his father.
This is what kept my father standing strong on the battlefield.
This medicine is extremely rare, and its quantity is dwindling with each use. Even if an arrow pierces the wound, applying a generous amount to the wound will promote tissue growth and healing, and it also has an antidote effect.
This medicine must not be used except in life-or-death situations.
Xie Lang picked out a piece of ointment and applied it evenly to her ankle with his fingertips.
This time the movement was more intense, and the ointment was also very spicy. Liu Qingqing rarely had the chance to concentrate. When she looked down, she saw him kneeling on one knee beside her, his pale, jade-like face full of indifference.
She still possessed that noble and serene demeanor.
If he hadn't been dragging her leg...
She was immediately alarmed and tried to pull her legs back, but Xie Lang held her tightly as if he had expected it.
He stared intently at the injury on her ankle, his gaze sending a shiver down her spine, a sensation that shot straight up to her lower abdomen.
"Aren't you going to say I'm your older brother?"
Xie Lang looked at her, "Can't your brother apply the medicine for you?"
One sentence left her speechless.
Fortunately, Xie Lang did not coerce or force her. He applied the ointment under her astonished gaze and then closed her skirt.
What had happened before taught Xie Lang a lesson—he must not push her too far.
As the sunlight outside grew stronger, Xie Lang had something else on his mind.
Ying Yucheng is about to arrive. How much does he know?
This matter cannot wait.
He hadn't thought about it before, but now he feared it might upset her.
Did Liu Qingqing actually know that the princess was her mother?
He slowly rose and stood beside her, looking down at her.
Lord Xie, who was usually decisive, hesitated, unsure how to probe her without startling her.
But he didn't know whether it was better to keep it from her or to be honest with her if she didn't know.
After a while, the clinic in front gradually became noisy.
Liu Qingqing immediately composed herself, ignored him, straightened her skirt, and strode forward.
Normally, there aren't many people at the clinic at noon, but now people keep coming in, crying out as if they have a stomachache!
More and more people came in, and Dr. Zhang and Fu Xiuzhu were so busy they were running around in circles.
Upon seeing this, Liu Qingqing was about to step forward, but Xie Lang stopped her.
He conjured a white veil from somewhere, put it on her, and patted her shoulder, saying, "Be careful."
Liu Qingqing was stunned.
This person... often gave her a feeling of being disconnected.
In the bright daylight, he resembled the gentleman of her dreams. Yet, before, in the cave and in the bedroom at night, he was like a ghostly spirit.
It's incomprehensible.
Just as Liu Qingqing was about to go over, she heard a clear, melodious male voice outside.
"Excuse me, may I ask if your clinic has a young lady surnamed Liu?"
[Author's Note]
Next chapter preview:
"Trying to snatch her from me? General Ying, don't even dream about it. That's my wife."
Xie Lang immediately sneered, "Young General Ying, I'm not dead yet."
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