Chapter 36 I am who I am, the two of us leaning on each other, leaving only Lang behind...
Thank you twice in one summer
Xie Dang didn't want to go in; he seemed to know that what he saw inside was something he didn't want to see.
But his soul had its own ideas, and it nimbly floated over the wall and went inside.
He was suspended beside the bed, unable to close his eyes even if he wanted to, watching helplessly.
Xia Rushi and Xie Pan were unaware of what was happening; the two were staring at each other with wide eyes.
Neither of them moved, but after a while, their faces turned bright red!
Xia Rushi suddenly lowered her eyes and put away the white jade ointment. Her face remained normal, but she suddenly panicked. Could it be that someone had broken it?
I couldn't help but feel annoyed. What was I thinking when I hit that spot?
Is that a place where you can fight easily?
Xie Pan had no idea what she was thinking, or even what he was thinking at all; his mind was completely blank, filled only with a constant buzzing sound.
He has lived a very proper life all these years, and at his age, the only thing he can be proud of is his clean body.
He had already planned it all out: what if his brother went astray...
At least he was honest and upright, waiting for her to turn back. He was morally upright and devoted to her. He didn't go around having affairs and then profess his love for her.
Isn't that disgusting?
I never imagined my brother would actually sacrifice his own happiness to fulfill his wish...
Her slap just now had caused Xie Pan both pain and pleasure, as if he had ascended to heaven. He lay there, seemingly just an empty shell.
Xia Rushi carefully put away the white jade ointment, then glanced at him subtly, and was momentarily stunned.
This young man is a bit too energetic... isn't he?
Don't let her break it!
I wanted to fiddle with it a little more, but as soon as I moved, I hesitated and froze.
Looking at him again, she saw him turn his head away and close his eyes, looking like a chaste and virtuous man. Xia Rushi, who was already feeling guilty, was immediately displeased.
What does he mean? Does he not want her to touch him?
Xia Rushi frowned and glared at him, then took a handkerchief and wiped her hands.
So, you've become like Xie Dang, adding fragrance to the frontier with your beauty, haven't you?
The thought sent a surge of anger to her head. Xia Rushi got angry; just looking at him made her angry, and in a fit of temper, she hit him again!
Xie Pan shuddered. She blinked and saw the water stains on her pants that weren't quite watermarks.
Xia Rushi: ...
She's had two kids, how could she not know what that is?
Looking at him again, with his clothes wide open, she noticed a fine layer of sweat on his chest.
He looked pitiful, as if he had been abused beyond belief.
What did she do?!
This is a meritorious official of the imperial court!
Xia Ru felt a rare pang of guilt, finally having a change of heart, and cleared her throat. After a moment of silence, she said hesitantly, "You should rest first. I'll go see what food is left in the kitchen."
They'll find an excuse to run away.
Xie Pan suddenly turned around and stopped hiding.
Afraid she would run away, he quickly grabbed her hand, his eyes bloodshot, "I...I'm fine, please don't misunderstand."
Xia Ru blinked blankly, wondering what the misunderstanding was.
Xie Pan's heart sank at the sight, and he forgot all about being shy. "Don't be disgusted with me, how about we do it again? I promise..."
"I've never done that before, but I'm healthy. This was an accident... Please, please..."
Xie Pan was practically ready to lay bare his heart and prove his innocence; his voice trembled with urgency. Perhaps he was confused by his anxiety, for he started to unbuckle his belt.
Wait, wait, wait...
Xia Ru immediately grabbed his hand. What was all this nonsense?!
Xie Pan had no choice but to stop and stare at her longingly.
What nonsense are you spouting!
Xia Rushi's face burned with embarrassment at his plan. She never expected that at her age, she would still be listening to someone arguing about this!
Xie Pan gently grasped her hand and suddenly said, "I'm afraid that if I die out there, you won't remember me."
He mustered his courage and asked her, "Will you be unhappy if I come back?"
This was actually Xie Pan's biggest fear. He had been afraid of it for so long, but she had already forgiven her brother.
He knew that with her personality, she would never forgive her brother, but didn't they have a son and a daughter?
You wouldn't compromise for your own sake, but what if you compromise for your children's?
He was terrified.
Having been on the battlefield for so long, he couldn't sleep at night, and every time he dreamed, she would reach over him and hold his brother's hand.
He risked his life to save his brother, and if he could return from the brink of death, he would shamelessly cling to her.
He said to himself.
And that's how we actually made it through.
That's an unfair argument. Xia Rushi retorted, "Why would I be unhappy that you're back?"
Xie Pan pursed his lips and didn't respond, but the disappointment and grievance in his eyes were impossible to hide.
After a long pause, he said, "There's no trace of you at Tingzhuxuan, so you probably don't live here anymore."
I left, and then you left too.
His deep voice was almost choked with tears, making it difficult to hear.
The remaining question should be, "Where did you go to stay?"
Should I go to the main courtyard where I've spent so many years with my brother?
But Xie Pan didn't ask; he didn't want to put her in a difficult position.
So pitiful, like a puppy abandoned by its owner.
The turbulent emotions from just moments ago instantly subsided.
He stared at her longingly, and she suddenly moved, leaning forward to touch the corner of his reddened eyes.
"What nonsense are you spouting?"
Her voice was soft, as if it had hooks, capable of drawing out the hidden depths of the human heart.
Xie Pan released her wrist and pulled her hand down to hold it. As if that wasn't enough, he stuffed his thick fingers between hers until their ten fingers were inseparable.
"If I can come back alive, I beg you."
Xia Ru asked in surprise, "What do you want from me?"
Xie Pan stared at her intently: "Please, be with me."
Their eyes met, and for a moment neither of them looked away.
Suddenly, Xia Rushi leaned over and kissed the corner of his lips. Afraid of pressing on the frightening wound on his chest, Xia Rushi tried to get up, but he grabbed her by the back of her neck.
Please stay with me.
An inextinguishable fire burned in his dark eyes.
It reminded her of the distant days at the academy, when he seemed to always be looking at her like this.
Xia Rushi was stunned.
Please stay with me.
When he received no answer from her for a long time, he asked again.
This time, not only were his eyes red, but the hand that was gently pressing on the back of his neck also began to tremble.
Xia Rushi snapped out of her daze and, seeing his expression, couldn't help but laugh.
But as she laughed, her eyes reddened, and she lay down beside him, using his strength to loosely wrap her arms around his neck, bypassing the wound.
Xie Pan turned to kiss her gently and carefully.
Xia Ru was afraid that he would reopen his wounds, but he was covered in injuries, so she didn't dare to push him away and could only tilt her head back and let him kiss her.
Xie Pan's large hands were extremely well-behaved, gently rubbing her waist without reaching inside her clothes.
As he massaged, he applied a little too much pressure, causing her to gasp softly.
"Teach me..."
He lingered impatiently in her ear, "Teach me..."
All of this was observed by Xie Dang, who was floating in the air, and he wished he had gone blind!
I wish I were blind and deaf!
He repeatedly rushed forward to stand between them, but their hands and bodies easily passed through his transparent body!
They were so close that he could even see the shyness and affection on their faces!
When he's dead, isn't he? When he's dead!
"Don't touch her!!"
"You're not allowed to touch him either!!!"
Xie Dang has gone completely mad! He's spewing profanities!
There's nothing a man can't do! What man can't do this?
He's just faking it! He's just faking it!
Look at the upturned corners of his lips!
Xie Dang gritted his teeth in hatred, wishing he could pounce on him and bite him.
Gone is the dignity of a marquis and the elegance of a scholar-general.
Despite all efforts to stop him, Xie Dang was filled with rage and wished he could die on the frontier.
Upon hearing the familiar, melodious voice, Xie Dang's eyes turned bloodshot, like a ghost. He turned to float out of the bedroom, but couldn't leave that place.
I can't live without it, I can't close my eyes.
He watched helplessly as Jia'er became immersed in someone else's arms.
Xie Dang's eyes were bloodshot, and two streams of bloody tears flowed from his eyes, making him look quite frightening.
He couldn't avoid it, so he just watched her get close to other people.
Treat others the same way you treated him in the past.
Is this God's punishment for him, a punishment for hurting people's hearts?
"Something terrible has happened!"
A servant's exclamation came from the main courtyard, and others asked what was wrong.
The man only said to quickly fetch a divine physician, but for some reason, the Marquis vomited blood again while he was in a deep sleep!
But this small Listening Bamboo Pavilion was full of springtime charm, little did they know that there would be a tremor over there.
"Jia'er, Jia'er..."
He whispered her name passionately in her ear, "Jia'er..."
Blood from her wound mingled with beads of sweat and splattered all over her body.
Xia Ru pinched the only good spot on Xie Pan's arm and glared at him.
Does it have to be a complete collapse of the bed?!
Xie Pan was delighted and cupped her face in his hands to coax her, "Can you pinch me again?"
Xia Rushi couldn't help but roll her eyes at him.
"I'm so happy, I'm so happy..."
As Xie Pan spoke, tears streamed down his face, landing directly on Xia Rushi's cheek.
Seeing him like this made Xia Rushi feel bad. She raised her hand to wipe away his tears and gently scolded him, "Fool."
Xie Pan smiled.
He was happy no matter what she scolded him!
The disturbance lasted almost until dawn.
Xia Rushi thought that since she had given birth to two children, she was an experienced woman.
In the end, it was he who surrendered first.
When should we get married?
In a half-dreaming, half-awake state, she heard Xie Pan ask her a question.
Xia Rushi perked up and looked at him seriously, "I don't want to get married for the time being."
She stared intently at him, thinking that if he was unwilling, they should part ways amicably.
Before she could say anything, Xie Pan quickly kissed the corner of her eye, "If we don't want to get married, then we don't want to get married. You can do it whenever you want."
He's waited twenty years for this, he can wait.
As the war ended, rewards were distributed according to merit.
The Marquis of Zhongwu's mansion has made outstanding contributions in battle, and with Wei Mingzhao also included, they are truly the greatest heroes of this campaign!
The regent specially requested the young emperor to bestow the title of Marquis of Liu upon Xie Pan.
Including the old Marquis, the Xie family has three Marquises in one mansion, a great honor!
For a time, the Marquis of Zhongwu's mansion was even more prominent!
However, one thing was kept secret, known only to the Regent and a few others.
I heard that when Marquis Zhongwu woke up from his serious injuries, he seemed to have gone mad, wandering around the mansion with his sword in hand.
There is another matter.
The newly appointed Marquis of Liu withdrew from public life, saying only that he was unwell and needed to recuperate, and therefore could not take up his post for the time being.
After receiving permission, he packed his bags, boarded his carriage, and set off to travel the world.
No one knew that his most cherished possession was hidden in that car.
For Xie Dang, every day thereafter was a nightmare.
Upon waking, he rushed to Tingzhuxuan as if he were catching his lover in the act, only to find the place deserted.
Where is Jia'er now?
But the scratches she made on the bed and the crumpled curtains all proved that what he saw while he was unconscious was real!
Xie Dang trembled all over.
Little did he know that he would spend the rest of his life trapped in this endless regret.
Every time he fell asleep, it felt as if the heavens were punishing him.
He dreamt of Jia'er and Xie Pan every night, about how they loved each other...
Xie Dang was furious and extremely regretful!
But in this world, where can you find a way to undo regrets?
Xie Dang would often grip the blade in his dreams, forcing himself to wake up.
He grew increasingly emaciated and went to look for her, but he never saw her again until his death.
Xia Rushi, however, was unaware of this.
Once they were far from the capital, she lifted the carriage curtain, rested her chin on Xie Pan's strong, broad shoulders, and curiously looked around.
She was always busy from childhood until now, so she never had such free time.
"Where are we going?" she asked Xie Pan curiously.
She even had a touch of the innocence and naivety of her youth, which warmed Xie Pan's heart.
He smiled at her and said, "Wherever you want to go, we'll go."
Xia Rushi sat beside him and, seeing a perfectly grown foxtail grass, reached out to pick it. Startled, Xie Pan quickly grabbed her waist.
She wanted to say something but didn't dare, and could only frown and be annoyed at herself for not keeping a close enough eye on her.
Xia Rushi knew it at a glance, so she leaned in and pressed her lips to his. Sure enough, his complexion improved greatly.
This guy is a paper tiger, very easy to fool.
"Don't do that next time. Tell me what you like and I'll go pick it up."
"Okay, okay."
Xia Rushi could answer every question readily, but when the time came, she would do whatever she wanted, depending on her own temperament!
Xie Pan sighed.
Fine, let her be. He'll just have to put in extra effort to take care of her.
Just then, Xia Rushi tucked a foxtail grass into his sideburns.
Xia Ru smiled at him, and Xie Pan smiled sheepishly in return.
The two leaned against each other, leaving only the bright sunlight behind them.
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Author's Note: Next Chapter Preview:
Wei Mingzhao remained expressionless, his eyes burning with fury, as he pulled a golden key from his pocket and weighed it in his palm.
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