Rowan watched the carriage disappear into the distance, leaving Eridor behind. His whole life, he had never truly been accepted by any family, except Adric’s. He had found peace and contentment in that acceptance, which erased the sting of rejection from others. Being Adric’s guard and friend gave him a sense of belonging. But when Louis and Freya, that small family of two, entered his life, he began to long for something more. He wanted to be a part of them, to share in their laughter and meals, to be close to them.
Now, they were leaving, and the hurt he had buried for so long resurfaced. Rowan didn’t want to be left behind again. He didn’t want Freya to look at him with the pain and tears that broke his heart. He had seen the hurt in her eyes when he grabbed her wrist, leaving an imprint. It wasn’t his intention to be rough, but desperation had clouded his judgment. All he wanted was to explain himself, to clear up any misunderstandings.
He had seen the pain in the girl’s eyes when he held her, was he really hurting her? He thought to himself.
Freya had likely waited for him, and now she had every reason to be angry. But Rowan suspected she had been fed false information. His intention was to clarify things, but instead, his actions had frightened her. He knew he should let her go. Freya deserved better, and he didn’t want to come between her and her father. But this wasn’t how he had wanted things to end.
Rowan hoped Freya would remember the moments they had shared together the tenderness, the way her face lit up when they were close. These memories gave him peace. But now, he feared that Freya would only remember him as a selfish, reckless man.
He wasn’t ever going to get that privilege anymore. To see her vulnerable, to be there for her or to protect her as his own . Rowan waited patiently, if only Freya would turn around and look at him then he won’t let go, even if she tried to run he would chase her until the depths of the earth.
Standing there, watching the carriage disappear, Rowan wished Freya would turn around one last time. He knew it was a foolish hope, but he longed to see her face, to see those innocent eyes and the curve of her lips when she spoke. But she wouldn’t turn back. It was clear to him now. Freya was gone, and she had made it clear she wasn’t coming back to him neither did she want to see his face.
With a heavy sigh, Rowan mounted his horse and turned back toward the palace. He knew he needed time to recover, to stay away from Avon and the memories that haunted him. Also he had other things to settle in Eridor, he was yet to figure out what to do. But deep down, he wasn’t sure what he would do if he saw Freya again. The urge to steal her away might return.
. . .
Inside the carriage, Louis held the horse skin pouch used to hold water. He looked through the window, though it was dark he had a feeling Rowan was still standing there looking at them.
"I should have given him water, he looked tasty." Louis muttered, pushing the small curtain to the side. His eyes shifted to his daughter looking at her reaction, but the girl pressed her face on the side.
Louis cleared his throat, "I wonder what happened to him, he had his hands and body covered in blood. Leaving him behind won’t be a problem right?"
Freya raised her face, the rim of her eyes were still bloodshot but this time she was glaring at her father.
"Haha...it’s Rowan, he’ll survive even in the jungle." Louis continued, touching his neck gently. "I’m just worried that he’ll be left to come back alone, you know we all came together. Rowan is-"
Freya sighed tiredly, rubbing her fingers gently on her forehead. "Pa, can you stop mentioning his name. Please, I beg you." Her lips quivered, as she tried to stop herself from crying.
"I didn’t me-" Louis tried to explain, but Freya cut him short with another tired sigh.
"Don’t... just don’t talk about him or anything. Please, I’m really frustrated right now and I wish to just-" Freya touched her chest, squeezing her dress. She didn’t know how to explain the feeling but she was sure that her heart was beating faster than normal and she couldn’t even breathe properly.
The look in Rowan’s eyes when she said those words, for a moment she was sure she saw pain. Though it was fleeting, but she knew that unmistakable look of hurt. Freya pressed her lips, she knew Rowan, he was going to forget it the next day. He didn’t care about other’s words and just did whatever he wanted. He was going to be fine right?
When he had carried her out of the carriage just because he wanted to explain things Freya panicked, she didn’t know why but for a moment she was scared. What if Rowan tells her openly that he just had fun and was really going to continue marriage with the princess. She was scared, and didn’t want to be the once at the harsher end paying the price with her fragile heart. She decided to let go first, even though escaping Rowan wasn’t going to be easy since they live in the palace. And the memories they had made was just too intense to forget easily, she would still try.
"Freya..." Louis called his daughter’s name softly, "The shirt I found in your room, belonged to Rowan right?"
Freya opened her mouth then closed it. She brought down the hand on her chest, squeezing her palm tightly. "Pa..."
Louis sighed, rubbing his temples gently. He opened the nuzzle of the horse skin, and drank the water calmly. When he brought it down, he exhaled forcefully. "Freya...I don’t know what to say right now, when did it start?"
"Pa..." Freya started, blinking her eyes. She rubbed the tears that touched the back of her palm. This wasn’t how she wanted her father to find out that she was sleeping with the same man he’d trusted. "It’s not what you think, we-"
"Am I proud of you?" Louis interrupted, asking a rhetorical question. "I am proud of my daughter, but not her actions. Freya I trusted you, and I also trusted Rowan." Louis inhaled deeply, "I can’t believe I’m having this conversation inside a carriage, I am really not a great father. And like you said all I’m good with is cooking,"
Freya shook her head, "No, Pa...I was angry, I didn’t mean any of those things I said to you. And It’s not your fault, whatever happened it just happened."
"It’s okay Freya," Louis shook his head, looking at his daughter. "I don’t know what a good father would have said if in my position, but I’ll say what I think is the best. Freya, you might have turned a woman but you’ll always be my little girl."
Freya’s lips trembled as she listened to her father speak. She wanted hid her face and cry her eyes out at the moment. She has failed her father, mother, Oriana and everyone who trusted her.
"I don’t know how it started or when, I don’t even know what is actually happening between you two. But all I’m asking is for your own happiness, not just you also Rowan’s. That young man has been nothing but kind to us ever since we arrived Avon but before Rowan, I am Louis. Freya’s father." Louis rubbed his frail palm gently, he was really tensed and didn’t want to hurt his daughter more.
"You might not want to tell me everything going on, but always known that I’m on your side. And I’ll forever protect you," when he said this, Freya covered her face with her hands sobbing softly.
"I’m sorry Pa," Freya muttered, "It was...a moment of...." Her voice trailed as she continued weeping.
Louis continued, "I don’t know how this started between you and Rowan, and I don’t need to know. But what I do care about is your happiness. Yours and Rowan’s. He’s been nothing but kind to us since we arrived in Avon, and I’ve come to regard him as my own son. You chose not to marry him, and that’s fine, but whatever happened between you two, I will always protect you. But I won’t stop caring about Rowan. He will always be welcome in our family."
Tears streamed down Freya’s face as she listened, her heart heavy with regret but she knew there was nothing she could do again. The best way to end the ill-fated relationship she hard with Rowan, was to end it this way.
"It’s going to be alright," Louis said softly, patting her hair as she wept into her hands.
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