Chapter 16: A ray of hope
By the time she disembarked from the boat, night had already fallen, but Jinling City hadn't lain hushed in darkness. Lights blazed in myriad homes, making the ground appear brighter than the sky. A gentle breeze rustled the branches of the trees on the riverbank, ruffling the fine hairs on the girl's forehead. Yanru took a deep breath, the wind mingling with the sweet smell of water vapor and the astringent aroma of tree sap, refreshing her turbulent mind.
Ji Mingxiu wanted Wang'er to take her home, but she flatly refused, strolling alone along the riverbank for half an hour. After her hysterical sobs, she no longer had the energy to express her emotions. She simply walked, numb and sluggish, following the direction of the surging river. Last night, she had hoped that Ji Mingxiu would deal with Qi Fengning and then return to her. Today, he told her that this meeting was not about reconciliation, but a more complete separation. Yanru's throat tightened. She wanted to hate Ji Mingxiu with all her might, but memories of their past came flooding back, and her love easily extinguished her jealousy. He would meticulously feed her, explain paintings from past dynasties to her—even though she didn't listen. He would frequently call her out in class to answer questions, affirming her childish answers so that she could have a rare moment of pride in front of her classmates. Yanru realized that she was being manipulated, but it was hard to convince herself that Ji Mingxiu had no true feelings for her. After all, even when they broke up, he did not abandon her directly. Instead, he had made plans to send her to the capital, the place closest to the royal family's wealth.
Things in the world are ridiculous. When powerful men start scheming, it's hard to even muster up any open hatred for them.
The academy and the courtyard were outside the city, and the gates were locked, so she couldn't go in. Her home wasn't peaceful or warm, and she felt a little reluctant. At this moment, Yanru couldn't find either the way home or the road to the future, so she could only wander aimlessly. Before she knew it, her feet had brought her to the door of her home. Inside, candlelight flickered, wine clinked, and roast goose and pork elbows were on the table. Her uncle and aunt, whom she rarely saw, had also arrived with her little cousin, and Yanbao was enveloped in laughter and joy. She wore the pearl hairpin Yanru had given her during the day, and held a peach-shaped birthday bun, arrogantly declaring her status as the birthday girl. Seeing this, Yanru didn't want to go in anymore, and huddled on a stone bench in the corner. She recalled Zheng Sirui sneaking her out of the bedroom at night, to the corridor with the curtains drawn, and celebrating her birthday with warm wine and pure joy.
My father, still on a mission for the prince, was away tonight, which displeased my mother. Grandma sipped her wine, lovingly clinking glasses like a son and daughter-in-law. My aunt's surname was Zhang Fen. Her family ran a tofu shop, and she had been immersed in the aroma of beans since childhood. She was like tofu, gentle in speech and meticulous in her actions, endearing her to both her mother-in-law and husband. Married for many years and with a daughter, they remained inseparable. While addressing my grandmother, my uncle gently embraced my aunt, scooping a chicken wing with his right hand and adding it to his wife's bowl with chopsticks. This scene pierced Pei Lan's heart. She and You Kang, each complaining about the other's meanness and cowardice, never showed any intimacy beyond the bed. Others enjoyed it, but he didn't. She hadn't experienced the joy of marriage, and for others to have it was a heinous crime. Adding to You Kang's absence, Pei Lan felt a surge of anger, a lump in her throat, desperate to find some way to let it out. As luck would have it, my aunt was pouring wine for Aunt Qian, and her sleeve accidentally bumped into the glass, spilling the wine all over the place. Pei Lan quickly seized this golden opportunity and said, "My brother is spoiling his wife too much. She's grown up and can't even hold a wine glass steady. I wonder how many beans he spills in the tofu shop every day. No wonder my brother doesn't come back to us often now that he has a wife. I guess he just helps his sister-in-law pick up beans."
It was a small matter, but she was scolded for no reason. My aunt was bewildered and helpless, absorbing the wine on the table with her handkerchief. My uncle spoke up for her, "What are you doing? You're eating your meal peacefully, but you have to find something to scold me for to feel better." Pei Lan was the first to complain, turning to Old Lady Qian and complaining, "Mom, you see, some people are just ungrateful. They can't stand a word from my eldest sister-in-law. I used to work myself to death embroidering, and the money I earned went straight to school. I didn't expect it to support a son for our Qian family, but a son-in-law for the Zhang family. What's the point of studying the Four Books and Five Classics? I can't pass the imperial examination, and I don't know how to serve my mother and sister. I just like to help the women in the tofu shop."
My uncle's head was buzzing with pain. They were strangers from a foreign land. Houses in Jinling were extremely expensive. Pei Lan and Old Lady Qian had been living in the courtyard of her brother-in-law for many years. It was only natural for him to marry a local wife and move to her home. In addition, Pei Lan's temper became more and more cunning and weird. She was keen on using her mental torture to hurt her relatives and friends in reality. She had to make people suffer with her. My uncle couldn't stand such a life. His mother and sister's homes were in chaos, while his father-in-law's home was harmonious. He only had one life to live, so he naturally wanted to stay in a good place. My aunt raised her glass awkwardly and said to Pei Lan, "My sister suffered for mother and husband, and my husband was grateful, but he was not good at speaking and couldn't say it, so he kept it in his heart. I'm here to toast my sister on behalf of my husband. Thank you."
Pei Lan didn't move. She picked up a piece of pork elbow and said to herself, "I know he's grateful. We're siblings, and we need an outsider to mediate. She said her husband was dumb in front of her mother-in-law and aunt. Doufufen, our ancestors were a wealthy family after all. How could they have a daughter-in-law like you who doesn't understand the virtues and appearance of a woman?"
Even the most docile rabbit will bite if pricked by a needle. Auntie was furious when she heard this, and Uncle simply stood up to argue with his sister. Before he could say anything, he heard Yanru standing outside the door cursing: "You quarrel all day long, quarreling about good things and bad things. You don't deserve a peaceful life just because you were born in our family!"
Everyone was a little confused. Yanbao said that Yanru had been called away by Ji Mingxiu, so they would go on a date tonight. Unexpectedly, Yanru returned with red and swollen eyes and tear-stained face. Pei Lan quickly put aside her heroic talk, stood up and asked, "What's wrong? Didn't you go out with that guy?"
Yanru said: "Yes, mother, grandma, I broke up with him."
"What?!" The elders were stunned. Yanru's affair with the old man had been a hot topic. Pei Lan, intent on stoking Ji Mingxiu's flames, had secretly pressured him to marry her daughter, spreading the news throughout the city. Who knew they were now separating? Wasn't the old man just taking advantage of everything and becoming a hands-off manager? Seeing this, the aunt hurriedly took the two younger sisters, aged seven or eight, out to set off small firecrackers, leaving the three generations of the Qian family to gather and listen to Yanru unload the entire story of the past two days.
Pei Lan was so angry that she couldn't open her eyes. She patted her chest with her left hand to calm down, and poked Yanru's head with her right finger. "I sent you to the academy, but what have you learned? How come you can't even stand up to a fierce woman in her thirties or forties? You were thrown out like a rag by an old man. I told you to be smart, but you didn't listen. You'll end up with nothing good after going through with him!"
Old Lady Qian trembled, "What should we do? Is it possible that from now on, our family can only rely on Yanbao?"
The uncle was relatively calm. He poured a glass of warm wine for his niece to warm her hands. "Yanru, as the saying goes, misfortune often brings blessings. I don't think it's really a bad thing."
Pei Lan poked Yanru with her finger and turned to her uncle's forehead: "After all, she is your nephew, not Qian Qi's daughter. You keep saying such sarcastic things! If it was her cousin who was abandoned by a man, you would be willing to pick up a knife and tear her apart!"
The uncle didn't bother to pay attention to his crazy sister. He just said to Yanru, "Yanru, think about it. Even if you marry into his family, you can only be a concubine in a deep courtyard, inferior to other proper masters. The best case scenario is that when his wife dies, you will have to be a concubine. How can it be as comfortable as being a proper wife. Now in Jinling, everyone knows that you have a close relationship with that painter Ji. If you want to enter the family of the clan's children, it will be somewhat difficult - don't blame your uncle for speaking harshly, just say it."
No one knows a son better than his mother. After Qian Qi said this, Old Lady Qian understood and continued her son's words: "That's right! Yanru, it's not a bad thing that he promised us to send you to the capital! The emperor's feet are full of celebrities, which is much better than Nanjing. With your talent and beauty, it won't be difficult for you to pick a wealthy family and become the wife. Besides, the capital is a thousand miles away from Nanjing, and it's difficult for outsiders to know about your affairs in Nanjing." After saying this, Old Lady Qian patted her son's shoulder with satisfaction: "As expected of someone who has been to school, our Qi'er has a long-term vision and thinks things through."
"The money for his admission to the academy was obtained by me and his brother-in-law." Pei Lan was dissatisfied with her mother's partiality and spat. Her brother was right. At this point, if she went to Ji Mingxiu to make trouble, it would only make Yanru lose her reputation. It would be better to take advantage of this opportunity to turn the tide and go to the capital to try her luck. In the imperial city, a brick dropped could hit seven or eight royal relatives. It is much better than Qiu Shui Academy. In this case, Qian Pei Lan said: "Yanru, that old fellow is so heartless and disloyal. Let's break up with him and start over. Just treat it as a dog bite. Let him find you the best academy, which is full of dignitaries. You should work hard in it and make a good living. Didn't you say that they didn't care about you in the academy? When you go there and get close to a powerful person, those little hoofs of Qiu Shui will naturally flatter you and respect you."
The elders patiently counseled Yanru, calming her down. She remained silent, her eyes straying to a large piece of embroidered cloth in the corner of the room. Her gaze rested on it: a rural scene her mother had embroidered for the family, waiting to be sent to the craftsman tomorrow to be made into a folding screen. The person who commissioned it was quite particular. She didn't want flowers, birds, beauties, mountains, rivers, or seas, but rather, layers of mountains, winding streams, and a tangle of willows and peach blossoms, with the corners of tiled houses faintly visible, smoke curling from cooking fires. Yanru suddenly recalled the poem: "Mountains and rivers are so dense that you think there's no way out, but when you turn around and see willows and flowers, you find another village."
Yanru suddenly felt relieved, her heart widening, her narrow love and sorrow quickly dissipating. Perhaps this was a new way out that God had given her, and her life, You Yanru, must be more than this.
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