Chapter 70 Praying to God
Her legs seemed to be stuck in the mud, the damp darkness was oppressive, Yanru had difficulty walking, not knowing east from west, north from south, and could only grope blindly in the chaos, one step deep and one step shallow.
There seemed to be a tiny glimmer of light ahead. Overjoyed, Yanru headed towards the faint glow. As she got closer, she felt a growing heat. Uncomfortable, she closed her eyes, gritted her teeth, and charged into the light.
The discomfort finally faded away, and everything became clear.
"Student You, student You, class is in session, what are you doing?"
Yanru opened her eyes and looked around. She was back in the classroom of Qiushui Academy. She stood in her seat. Lu Tianwen stood in front of the statue of Confucius and asked, "Mr. You, please tell me, from the perspective of the Tao, there is no noble or humble thing; from the perspective of things, one is noble and others are humble; from the perspective of customs, nobility and humbleness do not lie in oneself. What does this mean?"
Yanru stammered, her mind blank, unable to answer a single word. The classmate in the seat in front of her pretended to lean back and quietly slipped a piece of paper to the table. Yanru quickly took the note and read it out, thus escaping the danger. After class, she was stopped by the classmate in front of her. The person looked exactly like he did ten years ago, with bright eyes, white teeth, picturesque eyebrows, and sallow skin. He pulled her and asked, "Student You? Can you wait for me? Let's go back together?"
She could actually go back to the past, back to square one?! Great! If she could live again, this time, she would definitely find a truly wealthy husband! Yanru smiled brightly: "Si Rui, I have some steamed buns in my room. Let's go back and eat them!"
Zheng Sirui smiled and said, "Okay! You go out and wait for me first. I have to put the book away."
Yanru happily agreed and leaned against the screen, waiting for a long time, her patience exhausted. Turning around, she saw Zheng Sirui sleeping on the desk. Yanru walked over, patted Zheng Sirui's shoulder, and said angrily, "What are you doing?"
Zheng Sirui groaned, "Yanru, I hit my head and it hurts."
"Did you get hit? Get up, let me take a look." Yanru leaned over, and Zheng Sirui suddenly raised her head, bleeding from all seven orifices.
"Ah——" Yanru cried for help, covered her head, jumped up from the bed, and looked around blankly and nervously. Everything was strange yet familiar.
"Yanru, what's wrong with you?" A man's footsteps approached from behind the screen. Yanru raised her eyes and burst into tears of joy: "Xiulang!"
It turned out that she had returned to the small courtyard that Ji Mingxiu had rented for her. Everything that had just happened was just a nightmare. The place she had truly returned to was the first place in her life where she could live happily. Ji Mingxiu held the scroll in his left hand, and with his right hand, he held Yanru's waist with concern. "What's wrong? You had a nightmare out of nowhere. I'll ask Liu'er to make you some calming tea tomorrow."
After all, he was the first man she had ever fallen in love with. She was unwilling to hate him no matter what, and could not afford to hate him. She silently and obediently hugged Ji Mingxiu and snuggled in his arms: "It's okay, Xiulang, don't talk, I just want to be with you quietly."
"Hey, haven't we always been together?" Ji Mingxiu laughed at her pretentiousness, "Come, take a look at my new painting."
Yanru took a look and said angrily, "Why is it my back? I think my face is more beautiful. If you paint my back, who would recognize me? Who would know that I am your goddess of painting?"
Ji Mingxiu shook his head: "Sit still, take it and look carefully."
Yanru pouted, straightening herself from his embrace, holding the rice paper in her hands. The painting depicted a bamboo forest and a mountain stream, a young girl sitting with her back to hers, her hair cascading like a waterfall. A closer look revealed the figure in the painting moving, twisting her neck to reveal Zheng Sirui's face, sinister and vicious, like a ghost.
Yanru screamed and hurriedly threw the drawing paper away. Ji Mingxiu disappeared, and the drawing paper fell to the ground. Zheng Sirui unexpectedly crawled out from inside, and grabbed Yanru's neck with her right hand:
"Why didn't you save me? Why did you help Xue Jia to harm me?"
Her skin was damp and cold, unlike a normal human body temperature. Yanru desperately pried the fingers from her throat free: "I didn't do that. I didn't mean to! I just asked you out so they could explain things to you!"
"Idiot! You knew they had bad intentions, but you ruined me just to stay in the Xue family!" Zheng Sirui sneered, flipping over and sitting on top of Yanru, both hands pinning her neck. Yanru raised her leg to kick them, but it was held down by a force mid-air.
Liu Xiang grabbed her legs and asked in judgment, "You Yanru, we treated you so well, why did you betray us again and again?"
Yanru struggled to break free, but to no avail: "I didn't!"
"You're talking nonsense!" Zheng Sirui put three times more strength in her hands.
Yanru cursed, "If you don't work for yourself, you will be punished by heaven and earth! I just want to marry well, have enough food and clothing, and live in luxury. What have I done wrong? I'm not wrong!"
Liu Xiang said, "She won't admit it. Since she caused you to fall off the cliff, let's throw her down too, tit for tat."
"Be careful," Zheng Sirui agreed readily. In an instant, Yanru was no longer lying on the bed, but was pressed against the cliff next to Tiekan Temple, less than an inch away from the abyss.
"No! No! Please, Liu Lang, Liu Lang, didn't you say you'd always have me in your heart? Why can't you forgive me?" Yanru pleaded desperately, but Liu Xiang said contemptuously, "You Yanru, good deeds will be rewarded, and evil deeds will be punished. Go down and explain to the judge."
Liu Xiang and Zheng Sirui grabbed Yanru's head and feet respectively, and threw her into the abyss like a sack.
"Ah--" Yanru screamed at the top of her lungs and sat up from the bed again. This time it was even more terrifying. Xue Jia stared at the greasy face and lay on the edge of the bed, staring at her.
Yanru held her head and cried, "Don't come over here, don't touch me!"
Xue Jia spat, "You Yanru, are you sick? This is my room. If you don't want me to touch you, get out of here."
Yanru was in a trance. She looked around and found herself lying in the side room of the Biyou Pavilion in Daiyuan. She couldn't tell the time of day, dream or reality, so she raised her hand and bit herself hard - the pain was real, it was real.
Xue Jia instructed Shan Juan to bring a bowl of Chinese medicine and said to her, "Drink it as soon as you wake up. You've had a high fever for two whole nights since returning from Tiekan Temple, and it only subsided this morning. Drink it quickly, and don't let the fever come back. I still have to take care of you."
Yanru gasped for air in the present moment, pinched her nose, and gulped down the medicine. Tired of staying still, Xue Jia, as if granted amnesty, quickly slipped out to have some fun. Shanjuan was the only one left in the room. She washed a handkerchief and handed it to Yanru, "Madam, wipe it."
Yanru took it, using the right amount of heat and cold to wipe away the sticky sweat on her face, neck, and armpits, as well as the palpitations and discomfort brought on by the nightmare. Feeling much better, she mustered up the courage to ask, "Shanjuan, I've been sick for a few days. Is there anything serious going on out there?"
Shanjuan said, "Nothing much. Every day is the same. Nothing interesting or big."
"It's okay, it's okay." Yanru patted her chest, "Wash it for me again, and I'll wipe it."
"Okay." Shanjuan took the handkerchief and threw it into the copper basin beside the bed. Then she remembered something and said, "Oh, but I heard that your friend, a female official, went to see the Guanyin statue behind Tiekan Temple and accidentally fell down. Now she is missing, and the government is still looking for her."
After four or five days of taking strong medication, Yanru recovered, but nightmares continued to torment her. Late at night, she dreamed of Zheng Sirui, covered in wounds and soaking wet, seeking her life. Every morning, she woke up screaming and wailing. Xue Jia had long since divorced her and moved into the adjacent wing, but later, unable to bear her tears and sniffles, he returned to sleep in the side room with her.
Even a man's "yang energy" couldn't calm the nightmare, and it still existed. Not to mention Yanru, even Xue Jia himself couldn't stand the torture of being woken up three times in one night. When the screams sounded again beside his pillow, Xue Jia couldn't stand it anymore, and pulled his wife to scold her: "You Yanru, if you can't sleep, don't sleep. You're screaming in the middle of the night, who are you trying to kill?"
Like a long-dehydrated fathead fish stranded on the shore, Yanru's face was pale with a hint of black. She clutched her chest, gasping for air, unable to utter a single word. Xue Jia said helplessly, "I'll find a doctor tomorrow and ask you to drink four or five large bowls of brown rice and barley soup to relieve the symptoms. Is that okay?"
Yan Ru felt sick to her stomach: "I've taken your pulse every other day and taken tons of medicine, and you're still like this."
Xue Jia said, "If medical skills don't work, try Taoism. Don't you love to worship this god and that god? Go check it out tomorrow, hurry up. Damn it, I haven't had a peaceful night's sleep for a month. I just want a good night's sleep!"
This idiot was finally of some use. The next morning, Yanru got on a carriage and went to the Taoist's stall again. "Master, I've been having trouble sleeping these past few days and I'm feeling anxious. Can you help me take a look? Is there anything I can do?"
The Taoist priest cast a fortune, counted on his fingers, and after a moment's calculation, he stared at Yanru and said, "Oh my! Oh! Oh! Your forehead is really dark. What great sin have you committed again?"
Yanru hurriedly covered up: "No, no! Um... never mind, it's just that I didn't keep an eye on my cat and it scratched someone. I feel bad about it, that's all."
The Taoist priest remained silent, saying, "So, you're looking for a way to find peace of mind?"
Yan Ru nodded her head sharply: "Yeah, well, just to seek peace of mind, ward off evil spirits, or something like that."
The Taoist priest showed a meaningful expression, looked at the hexagram again, and said, "It's not difficult. You can get a shrine at home and perform a ritual to drive away the evil spirits."
These words were like a light in a dark room, a boat at a crossroads, or a gentle rain on dry grass. Yanru readily took out her own savings, which she had saved from her frugal life, and respectfully placed a large silver ingot in front of the Taoist priest: "Please! Do it! It's okay! Taoist priest, as long as you can let me sleep well, any amount of silver is worth it!"
All was easy, just pay. The Taoist took the money, chose an auspicious day, and personally went to Dai Garden to set up the formation for her. Even after spending the money, even before the ritual was performed, he felt much more at ease, his brows relaxed, and he skipped out of the alley.
Xue Jia and his carriage were waiting for her at the intersection. Mr. Shi had now forbidden them from interfering in the pawnshop's affairs, leaving it entirely to Wang Xianyi. With nowhere else to go, the couple wandered the streets a bit before returning to Daiyuan. Passing by Zheng Sirui's courtyard, Yanru quietly lifted a corner of the carriage curtain and peeked out.
With the master's fate uncertain, and the housekeeper Caiyuan also long missing, the Zheng residence lay dormant. Zheng Sirui's parents rushed from Jinling, searching for their daughter while tending to her chores. As the emerald tent and chariot approached, Zheng Sirui's father emerged. A once impoverished scholar, upon learning of his beloved daughter's misfortune, his hair turned white overnight, his body hunched over. Though still undetermined to reach his demise, he looked as haggard as a sixty-year-old.
Yanru watched from a distance for a few more seconds. A man in his thirties happened to pass by. He was dressed like a scholar, exuding the pedantic air of a scholar, yet his eyes and brows held the bitterness of a commoner. Seeing Zheng Xiucai, he suddenly slowed down his pace, approached him, and asked, "Is this the father of this house's owner, the Zheng family's husband from Jinling Wuyi?"
Zheng Xiucai forced a tired smile and said, "Exactly. You look familiar. Are you also from Jinling Wuyi?"
The stranger's expression suddenly changed, and he spat viciously, "Bah! You still remember me! When your daughter passed the imperial examination, I visited your shabby house every day, humbly begging your daughter to find me a job in the capital. And you, you actually told your daughter not to help me? We're all from the same village, and you're so stingy! You deserve it now! Your daughter is dead, what are you still doing here? Why don't you just go and die?"
Zheng Xiucai was furious and started to wrestle with the man. Zheng Sirui, a young and hot-tempered girl, heard the noise and rushed out with a broom in her hand. People from three grades, young and old, were in a fight. When the carriage went away, Yanru looked back and saw Zheng Xiucai huddled in a corner of the Zheng Mansion gate, sobbing and wailing.
The next day, the Taoist priest arrived on his donkey, promptly bringing a statue of the deity for Yanru. He respectfully placed it in the side room, setting up rituals and wielding a mahogany sword and talismans, he danced for a whole day. The sandalwood incense lingered in the side room, making Xue Jia's eyes hurt. Yanru, nestled in it, breathed in the scent, feeling reassured and at peace.
The Heavenly Lord was at peace, and all his organs obeyed his orders. Yanru had a rare restful sleep for seven or eight days. But after the first day of the new year, her old ways returned. Zheng Sirui, a bloody mess, once again took advantage of her meeting with Zhou Gong to sneak into her dreams and take her life.
Yanru covered the entire bed with talismans, turning the wooden bed into a paper bed, and cleaned the stove in front of the shrine twice a day, but it still didn't help. Xue Jia, on the other hand, had recently received a lot of money from his mother, so he ate and drank as he pleased, and even gained eight taels of weight.
I'm almost going crazy! Yanru walked around Daiyuan again and again. No matter how beautiful the scenery was, it was hard for her to feel relaxed and happy. She just felt dizzy and her life was tasteless. It was really like a lotus seed with a bitter heart and a pear with a sour stomach. She was so dizzy that she seemed to see a mouse as big as a human, rushing into the backyard.
No? She took another closer look and cursed, "Long'er! Why are you running around in such a hurry and without any reason?"
Long Er stopped trembling and forced a smile: "My wife."
Yanru walked up to him and saw that he was holding a thick package in his arms. He looked flustered and his movements were vulgar. She scolded him again: "Look at what you are holding? Take it out and let me see it. Are you stealing things from the garden and selling them?"
"No, no!" Long'er hesitated, looking around. Seeing no one around, he secretly lifted a corner of the cotton cloth, revealing the back of a clay sculpture of Guanyin. He said to Yanru, "Dalang said that my wife has been unable to sleep or eat these days, and I am the same. I really have no choice, so I borrowed this Bodhisattva from my brother a few days ago and put it in the house for worship."
Yanru asked, "Is it useful?"
Long'er whispered, "Yes, yes. So, is that why the Bodhisattva sent it back today? My wife asked a Taoist priest to perform a ritual last time, and the nightmare came back a few days later. I think you should give it a try. Maybe the Three Pure Ones alone can't suppress the evil spirit, so we can just ask the Bodhisattva. Avalokitesvara, may you save all living beings!"
"Tsk, that makes sense!" Yanru looked at the mud statue in Long'er's arms, clasped her hands together, and bowed. She had to burn incense every day anyway, so burning a few more wouldn't be a big deal. What if something happened? But she didn't dare go to Tiekan Temple anymore. She just said, "Long'er, when you're done, come to me. I'll give you money, and you can help me invite the Bodhisattva back... Oh, and get an extra wooden fish. I'll strike it every day to accumulate merit."
She had saved up two or three years' worth of money, a small portion of which she had previously used to bind Xue Jia's love affair, another to exorcise evil spirits, and now she had taken out a small portion again, asking Long'er to invite the Bodhisattva. The small side room of the secluded pavilion was invisibly divided into two halves by Yanru, with Taoist deities on the left, Buddhist Bodhisattvas on the right. Every day, Yanru would pray to this and pray to that, beating the wooden fish and rotating the Buddhist beads, chanting the calming mantra in the morning and Namo Amitabha in the evening... For half a month, she had been in a state of ecstasy, wondering if she had conquered the nightmare, or if the nightmare had conquered her.
Anyway, let alone nightmares, dreams had vanished. Yanru only needed to drink two more bowls of calming soup to feel calm, at peace, and able to close her eyes until dawn. The days of sleeping soundly and restlessly, when the land was wide open after pulling out radishes, had returned completely.
Until that day, a piece of news came from Yongzhou to the capital.
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