selfishness
Zhao Qinfeng guessed that Lin Ting had such thoughts because he was deeply moved by Lin Ting's account of his early experiences. After a moment of contemplation, he replied, "Actually, your current model is very good."
Lin Ting asked, "Why? Am I being too cold-hearted right now?"
Zhao Qinfeng shook his head and said, "Because your identity is that of a 'music critic,' your most direct evaluation target is never a person at a specific stage of life, but rather the musician's musical expression."
This indeed aligns with Lin Ting's previous thoughts. He said, "You're right. At least until today, that's what I thought too, so I knew nothing about your situation during those years."
Zhao Qinfeng said, "It's okay. Now that you know me and have learned about that period of time through my story, that's good enough. In the future, if you make more friends in this circle, you can talk to them about the past and about life outside of music. But as a 'music critic,' you need to deliberately ignore these things."
Lin Ting couldn't immediately sort out his thoughts, so he said, "It's okay, I'll think about it later..."
The two sat quietly on the sofa for a while.
Lin Ting said, "Actually, music reviews are a side job for me. I wrote them in my spare time when I was in college, but after I started working, it was entirely in my spare time. My job is also very busy, and I always work overtime. At the beginning of this year, the company had just laid off employees. A colleague who was confident that he would not be laid off was suddenly called away one morning and completed the resignation process that same day."
Zhao Qinfeng stared in surprise, completely unfamiliar with the ecosystem of Lin Ting's industry, and was utterly shocked upon hearing this.
Lin Ting picked up the cup Zhao Qinfeng had given him, took a sip of warm water, and continued, "A while ago, around the time Director Qiu invited me to participate in a variety show recording, there were rumors in the company that there might be another round of layoffs, but the timing was uncertain. Logically speaking, I shouldn't want to be laid off, but there was still a voice in my heart urging me to leave."
Zhao Qinfeng asked, "Do you like your current job?"
Lin Ting laughed, a laugh that sent a chill down Zhao Qinfeng's spine. Lin Ting said self-deprecatingly, "When you're working, you always need a place to stay. I studied computer science in college and came to this company through campus recruitment. There's a kind of inertia in me, maybe also a concern about sunk costs, so I don't really think I'll leave. But it's not that I haven't thought about it. I know I'm just sitting at a desk, not doing it with any real passion. After a few years, I've convinced myself that no matter how much you like something, it's hard to maintain that passion if you're working around it every day. Rather than slowly growing to dislike something you love, it's better to just find something you're indifferent to and waste it."
Zhao Qinfeng's eyes flickered slightly, as if he was somewhat moved, but he didn't want to speak easily. He thought for a while before carefully saying, "Actually, your side job is also very tiring, but you still like it very much, and you are even willing to take on this variety show recording job when both your main job and side job are very time-consuming and energy-consuming. There are actually many people on set who are very tired, looking forward to finishing work like students looking forward to the end of school, but you are different. You seem to really like this place."
Lin Ting didn't expect Zhao Qinfeng to say that. When he heard Zhao Qinfeng say "I like it", all sorts of troubles during the recording process came to mind, the anxiety of still editing videos and writing scripts after finishing overtime work, the accident where pepper spray was sprayed into his eyes... He would also get tired during the recording process, but whenever he heard a brilliant part of the singing, he could forget the previous fatigue and wholeheartedly experience the beauty contained in the music.
Zhao Qinfeng said, "Have you noticed that in the final broadcast version of the show, the stage itself will be interspersed with some shots of the guests and the audience, and you actually appear very frequently?"
Lin Ting had indeed watched every episode of the show without fail, but his focus wasn't on the camera work, so he hadn't paid attention to what Zhao Qinfeng had said before. Now, he tried to recall, and he did have some vague recollection of it. He asked in confusion, "Could it be because I'm too expressive?"
Does this mean he can show his face in reaction videos from now on?
Zhao Qinfeng said, "That's one way to put it... But Qiu Mingyue said that the way you presented yourself gave people the feeling that you 'truly listened to the music,' and I especially agree with her statement."
Lin Ting blinked, subconsciously picked up the cup and took another sip, just to moisten his lips. Actually, he didn't want to drink water; he just wanted to find some random action to cover up his surprise.
Zhao Qinfeng said, "Perhaps you should have more faith in yourself. If you really make 'music critic' your profession, you might be able to achieve the impossible triangle of 'being good at,' 'liking,' and 'making money.'"
Lin Ting suddenly asked, "Are you like this too?"
Zhao Qinfeng asked in confusion, "What do you mean?"
Lin Ting said, "It's the 'impossible triangle' you mentioned, and it seems you've already achieved it."
Zhao Qinfeng suddenly realized and said, "It seems that's really the case, but I didn't mean to brag! I just thought you didn't need to worry too much..."
Lin Ting put down her cup, smiled at Zhao Qinfeng, and said, "Okay, I understand. Thank you."
As Lin Ting was about to leave, Zhao Qinfeng offered to walk him to the entrance of the residential area, but Lin Ting resolutely refused.
“If someone who knows you sees you, they’ll know you live here!” Lin Ting said.
“It’s already dark. I won’t be recognized if I wear these. Besides, I’m only dropping you off at the entrance of the complex, it’s just a few steps!” Zhao Qinfeng argued, holding up a hat and a mask.
"Don't you realize how close my place is to here? It's only about 700 meters away. There's really no need to see me off!"
"It's so close!" Zhao Qinfeng exclaimed in surprise. Although he knew where Lin Ting lived, he didn't usually walk around the area, so he had no idea of the exact walking distance.
Lin Ting deciphered from Zhao Qinfeng's expression the meaning behind the phrase, "It's so close, I can just drop you off at the entrance of your apartment complex." He resolutely replied, "No!"
Zhao Qinfeng said, somewhat puzzled and aggrieved, "I haven't said anything yet."
Lin Ting put on her shoes, opened the door, turned around and said, "Your thoughts are written all over your face. Anyway, just stay home. Thank you for your hospitality today."
Lin Ting walked out, waved to Zhao Qinfeng, and then closed the door.
After arriving home safely, Lin Ting turned on her phone to let Zhao Qinfeng know she was safe, but instead saw several pitiful emojis sent by him.
After Lin Ting told him he was home, Zhao Qinfeng immediately replied, seemingly waiting for his message in front of his phone. Lin Ting imagined the scene and couldn't help but smile.
Lin Tingyou replied, "I'll invite you to my home sometime."
Zhao Qinfeng seemed quite satisfied with his suggestion, sending a happy emoji.
Lin Ting's life has returned to what it was like before she participated in the variety show recording. She has resumed updating her regular music reviews, and it just so happens that she is in a period when her main job is not so busy.
Although people haven't been working overtime much lately, they still don't seem very happy. Besides the long-standing work atmosphere, there's also the worry about potential layoffs.
Lin Ting was relatively less panicked, thanks to Zhao Qinfeng. He wasn't in a hurry to make a decision and was quite optimistic about the future.
However, there is still one thing he needs to consider, which is his pen name "Jinghu". Now he has started appearing in front of the camera as a music critic, but people don't know that he is also a lyricist. If he plans to enter the music industry in the future, will he need to use his real name to write lyrics and also claim credit for his previous works?
He thought about it for a moment. In fact, most lyricists don't appear in public much and are generally quite low-key. He could completely separate the two identities as before to avoid unnecessary disputes.
He had a small selfish wish: to write songs with Zhao Qinfeng, hoping that their names could be placed side by side, one as the composer and the other as the lyricist.
Lin Ting was startled by his own idea, but he only thought about it for a moment. As for what to do, he would have to wait until he decided how things would develop.
Lin Ting hoped to achieve a fair relationship between the two. After reading the music reviews and videos he had written for Zhao Qinfeng, he began to slowly research Zhao Qinfeng's journey in the music industry. Although his simple understanding certainly couldn't keep up with Zhao Qinfeng's level of knowledge about him, he still wanted to know what Zhao Qinfeng had experienced over the years and how he had gotten to where he was today.
He and Zhao Qinfeng are chatting more and more frequently now. Even though both of them are usually very busy with work, they are happy to take a break from their busy schedules to send each other messages.
Lin Ting's method of "archaeological research" was very simple. First, he scrolled through Zhao Qinfeng's Weibo from beginning to end. He originally wanted to slowly scroll to the time of his debut, but then he found that Zhao Qinfeng's Weibo was only visible for the past six months. He then went directly to Zhao Qinfeng's Baidu Encyclopedia to browse the programs and activities he had participated in, the songs he had created and sung, as well as his many honors, awards and titles.
After reading it, he understood Zhao Qinfeng's acting career, but he still couldn't imagine how he struggled step by step in the music industry back then, groping his way forward on an unclear path.
One morning, while waiting for the elevator, he suddenly remembered that the video website he was on had actually recommended some videos to him, and he thought he could search for them.
He searched for Zhao Qinfeng on video platforms and found some videos edited by fans.
He clicked on a video and watched it; the video was about the years when Zhao Qinfeng was unknown.
The first few shots are from a few programs Zhao Qinfeng participated in when he debuted, and only half of the song he sang at that time was kept.
Then came a shaky, low-resolution clip. In the video, Zhao Qinfeng stood on a very simple stage, with what appeared to be a brightly colored display board behind him, the words on it illegible. If he hadn't recognized Zhao Qinfeng's face, he would have mistaken the video for a casually taken clip by an audience member at a campus singing competition.
He was singing a song that he had only played half of back then. Three years have passed since he arrived here, and he still hasn't found a foothold.
The elevator Lin Ting was waiting for arrived. Zhao Qinfeng in the video was just starting to sing when Lin Ting paused the video, turned off the screen, and stepped into the elevator.
Lin Ting was quite busy at work and didn't have a moment to slack off. He just glanced at the length of the video: twenty-five minutes.
He unconsciously tapped the keyboard in front of him, deciding to watch the video properly when he got home that night.
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