Chapter 25: The Double Black
Since his brief encounter with Odasaku and Ango of this world that day, Dazai Osamu felt that a void in his heart had been quietly filled by something invisible.
In the inner pocket of his signature black overcoat lay several photographs—group photos of him and his friends from that day. They lay quietly in the darkness, the past frozen in time. Occasionally, in the dead of night, he would curl up alone in a corner of an abandoned warehouse or in an abandoned container by the harbor, and in the darkness, he would carefully fumble for those photographs.
Because there was no light source, he couldn't see anything on them, but he didn't care. He just wanted to hold them in his hands, and the pain from the corners of the photos scraping against his palms constantly reminded him that the warmth he felt for a moment was not an illusion.
The frozen smile in the photo, Oda Sakunosuke's slightly helpless yet gentle expression, Ango's slightly furrowed brows as he pushed up his glasses... Every detail in the picture had long been engraved in his heart. Even if all he could see was darkness, he could fill in the colorful picture with his memories.
However, the person sitting in the center of the photo, with a relaxed expression and a smile on his lips, is him, yet not him. Because his time has long since stopped at 18; this is merely a body he has borrowed.
Oh dear, these thoughts of dwelling on the past are practically turning him into a boring middle-aged man who only knows how to reminisce about his youth. But he can't even imagine what he'll be like when he enters middle age. Just imagining himself like that in his mind sends a wave of revulsion creeping up his spine, making him feel so disgusted that he wants to tremble.
One afternoon, while he was still able to control his body, he unconsciously stopped in front of a familiar Western restaurant.
This is where Oda Sakunosuke most often comes to eat curry; the second floor is where the children he adopted live.
As I pushed open the door, the familiar bell rang. The air was filled with the rich, spicy aroma of curry. The owner's busy figure moved constantly between the steamy kitchen and the small dining area. When I glanced up and saw him, I simply nodded slightly.
Dazai Osamu casually chose a seat and ordered an extra-spicy curry from the owner. He had helped choose this restaurant, so the owner was already familiar with him and knew his usual preferences, thus ordering him the extra-spicy curry that Oda Sakunosuke frequently ate.
Soon, a steaming plate of curry rice was served, its intense aroma filling his nostrils. Dazai Osamu picked up a spoon, scooped up a large spoonful without hesitation, and put it in his mouth. Instantly, the familiar spiciness from his memories swept over his throat. He coughed a few times from the spiciness, then drank a large glass of water to barely suppress the burning sensation.
"Still... that amazing." He muttered to himself, his voice hoarse from coughing.
As the restaurant filled up, the owner was extremely busy. Aside from taking orders and serving food, the two barely exchanged any words.
The curry platter was almost empty, but the spicy aftertaste still lingered in my mouth.
Oda Sakunosuke sometimes comes here to visit the children, and they occasionally run into him. But today he wasn't so lucky; he didn't see Oda Sakunosuke even after he finished eating.
But Dazai Osamu wasn't discouraged; he hadn't held out much hope anyway. After all, his main purpose today was to reminisce about the taste of curry from his memories. Of course, it would be even better if he could run into Oda Sakunosuke.
The trajectory of this world is roughly the same as that of Dazai's world, so if we follow the original path, Oda Sakunosuke's death may be an inescapable fate.
He mobilized all the resources he could access in that world, meticulously investigating the entire incident and thus acquiring a great deal of additional information. He also mentioned this intelligence about the future in his communication with [Dazai Osamu] in that world. Of course, the provision of information was not free.
In exchange, he demanded all the core secrets about Chuuya Nakahara's identity, as well as other hidden secrets of the Hong Kong Mafia, in order to compare the information gaps between them.
The whole thing started with Mimic entering Japan, but at this point in time, there was still a long time before Mimic entered Japan, so they had enough time to deploy their own things.
When Osamu Dazai learned that his friend was about to die a violent death, his iris-colored eyes were instantly filled with astonishment.
However, when the intelligence clearly pointed to Mori Ōgai's ingenious yet ruthless "optimal solution" strategy, Dazai Osamu's astonishment quickly faded, leaving only understanding and mockery.
Yes, for the benefit of the Hong Kong Mafia, for the so-called optimal solution, sacrificing a low-level member whose abilities are not top-notch and whose value can be replaced is just a routine move for that leader.
Even after learning of Ango Sakaguchi's defection, Dazai Osamu was no longer as surprised as he had been initially. He had eliminated countless traitors from the Port Black, but this time the traitor was someone close to him.
When Dazai Osamu learned of these things, he only asked Dazai one question: "In your world, what did you do in the end?"
Dazai Osamu fell silent, saying nothing. Memories pulled him back to that remote sea area, and he felt the cold, salty water envelop him once more. The dark emotions he had buried deep within him suddenly burst open, surging towards him, uncontrollably casting an aura of death over his face, which usually wore a fake smile.
[Dazai Osamu] keenly caught Dazai's momentary loss of composure. Dazai's eyes widened suddenly, as if he were seeing this version of himself from another world for the first time. Then, he curled his lips into a smile and uttered words mixed with malice and realization: "Hahaha, your sins have become so heavy that even death cannot bring you peace? How pathetic."
Even though they didn't say it explicitly, they both understood what the other meant.
"Shut up." Dazai Osamu's emotions were only in turmoil for a moment before he quickly regained his composure.
Dazai Osamu also imagined what would happen if he were in this "Dazai Osamu" situation, and what would happen if he had a partner.
The outcome remains unpredictable. Perhaps he will still choose to leave, but his resolve to face death may be hampered by something. Or perhaps he will find it easier to find meaning in this world that can temporarily sustain him and allow him to continue breathing.
He secretly went deep into the archives of the Port Mafia headquarters building in this world, and looked through the documents marked as top secret. He saw that the yellowed pages recorded many important events that had happened in the past, including a description of the origin of Leibo Street.
The record states that this disaster was caused by the birth of Arahabaki, which is consistent with the information that [Dazai Osamu] had given him in the mysterious space. Nakahara Chuuya is a product of Arahabaki's experiments.
Dazai suddenly remembered the reason for the formation of Leibo Street in his world. It seemed to be due to some experiment, but it was a failed experiment, and even the data was mostly destroyed in the explosion. Perhaps it was that failed experiment that completely stifled the possibility of an individual named Nakahara Chuuya being born in that world.
He stroked the pages, his mind racing with thoughts. He realized that if it weren't for those precognitive dreams, he wouldn't have had any hope for the hopeless, dark future—hoping that these strange things would bring him something new and keep him going—but would have grown weary of this worthless life long ago and rushed into the embrace of death prematurely.
For him, truly important things are few and far between. Even those things defined as important can be discarded without hesitation at certain times. Because what is considered important is often just the meaning assigned by others, not what is important to him.
Besides the matter of Nakahara Chuuya, he also learned a lot of other information about this world, such as the shadow that the assassination king Verlaine once cast on the Port Mafia, his entanglement with Rimbaud, and the Dragon Head War that swept across the entire underworld, etc., all of which filled the gaps in his understanding of "the world where Nakahara Chuuya exists".
Strangely, many of the events he read about in the documents carried a strange sense of familiarity, as if he were encountering these things for the first time. Perhaps he had already witnessed or even participated in them in some bizarre dream, even if he had no specific memory of them.
As Dazai Osamu pondered, he etched this information into his mind and simultaneously deduced more possible solutions to the related events.
He suddenly wondered if his soul had the ability to travel through time and space—although this seemed to be random.
The day he came into this world was still a long time before the year he died. So he had wondered what would happen if he died in this world—would he enter the next world, go somewhere else, or finally find peace for his soul?
However, his friends in this world are still alive, and Chuuya Nakahara is still his... no, I mean, Dazai Osamu's partner, and all sorts of things he's experienced are yet to happen. And most importantly, this body isn't his, and this identity isn't his, so he can't use his life to verify his conjectures as he used to.
Invisible bonds entwined him like a spiderweb, forming a constraint heavier than death itself. But he was always just a passerby here; only his counterpart could leave a trace in this world, and he believed that one day he would be able to leave, in whatever form.
A note from the author:
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Another deadline looms. Although I made it onto a decent list this week, I probably haven't been updating frequently enough, so the data isn't great TT
However, a severe lack of inspiration is probably the downside of not having an outline. This chapter has been replaced; I'll do a major revision tomorrow. Because of time constraints, I'm writing and posting it now (finally, I've got some inspiration!).
25.7.28
I did a tarot reading today, asking if Dazai from this story would be willing to go to the next world to find Chuuya. The answer was: even if the new world is full of unknowns, he would be willing to go there, as long as he can find Chuuya.
25.7.29
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