Chapter 4.4 Double Black
After that, Dazai Osamu dreamed more and more about Nakahara Chuuya (because he dreamed so much that he finally remembered the name). However, he didn't dream frequently; it was just an accumulation of dreams over time.
A long, drawn-out dream, neither a pleasant dream nor a nightmare, had a less significant impact on his mental state than a complete overhaul of the O manual. Therefore, he adopted a laissez-faire attitude towards it—though even if he wanted to intervene, he was currently powerless to do so.
This wasn't due to any supernatural ability; otherwise, it wouldn't have happened in the first place if he had nullified it. He temporarily considered it a coincidence, perhaps a coincidence specific to him. He had no interest in finding others in the world with similar circumstances, nor would he let anyone else know his little secret. However, even if he shared it, most people would just think he was delusional, associating him with mental illness in everything. Just thinking about that possibility was utterly boring.
As he had more precognitive dreams, his ability to remember the content of those dreams seemed to improve as well. Now he could remember them by memory alone, although he would start to forget them completely after two days. This was probably a harmless side effect of his ability to foresee the future.
His real world unfolds just like in his dream, occasionally deviating slightly due to his personal actions, but what remains constant is that Chuuya Nakahara still does not exist in reality.
Just like in his dream, or rather, even in his dream he tried to commit suicide every day, attempting to embrace the Sanzu River, but the result was always unsatisfactory.
Sometimes he would jump from the Mafia building in the harbor, experiencing the anticipation and thrill of being on the verge of death. He looked forward to falling into the shadow of death, but deep down he also harbored a little desire for the unexpected.
In reality, no one would smash through glass and leap into the air just to kick him into the building across the street. Nor would anyone grab him by the collar and warn him that he could only die at the hands of the other person. Of course, such words would sound somewhat laughable, and even among the idiots of today, that wouldn't be possible.
In reality, all he will face is his body rapidly falling downwards, the weightlessness that engulfs his entire body, making him feel like a kite with a broken string, and the icy feeling of the wind blowing into his clothes, making his hair fly wildly, and sometimes even obscuring his view of the sky.
He would eventually fall into the inflatable cushion prepared by his subordinates. If he was lucky, nothing would happen, but in most cases, he would end up seriously injured and hospitalized.
To increase his chances of seeing the Sanzu River, he would make his body more broken and vulnerable before jumping. Having become accustomed to this near-death experience, attempting such a thing became as simple as eating and drinking.
Of course, all of this was within a controllable range. After all, reality didn't allow him to do whatever he wanted, so Mr. Mori turned a blind eye to his behavior. Perhaps from the other party's perspective, as long as he could perfectly implement the concept of the "optimal solution" even while injured, then whatever he did that wasn't outrageous could be tolerated.
Ah, actually Mr. Mori isn't as cold-hearted as he just thought, although he thinks the truth is probably not much different... In short, when he goes too far, it's easy to anger Mr. Mori.
He remembered that every time he sank into the air cushion, his men would swarm around to check on his injuries, but he just found it boring. He would do this boring thing many more times, otherwise, how would he feel alive?
To others, he appeared to be staring blankly at the azure sky, his eyes vacant.
He knew that the numb expressions on the faces of those around him were because of him; they were probably thinking to themselves why their boss was such a strange guy.
Hmm... what do other people's thoughts have to do with him? He's already losing control of his emotions and thoughts, how can he have the energy to pay attention to other people?
He has had so many precognitive dreams that sometimes he can hardly distinguish between dreams and reality.
Identical people, identical scenes, almost identical storylines... If this continues for a long time, it's likely that his perception of the boundary between illusion and reality will become blurred, even if he knows he can distinguish between them.
However, knowing and doing are two different things...
Dazai Osamu slowly covered his face with his hands.
He now slightly wants to experience that feeling of perfect harmony with others in real life, instead of having to compromise and accommodate others.
Exhaustion, a deep weariness, washed over him like a tide.
In the game console, if a character fails to complete a level, they have the chance to start over; even after reaching the finale, there's a chance to rewind and start over. This cycle repeats endlessly, the character controlled by buttons, unable to act according to their own will. Sometimes, it carries a touch of pathos.
If the little characters inside knew they were trapped in such a tiny, black box, they would be so sad and desperate that they would rather the game be discontinued, the console shut down, and never wake up again, so they wouldn't have to face the predetermined, cyclical ending.
Occasionally, such thoughts will arise.
For tedious tasks, once a plan is made, the rest of the time is dedicated to the game console. Game consoles, which can be carried around at any time, are often broken because they can be discarded at any moment. However, Dazai Osamu doesn't care about this; he just needs its occasional companionship to keep his fingers from being idle.
In the dream, Dazai Osamu sometimes brings a game console with him on missions. Most of the time, Dazai partners with Chuuya on missions. Although it's not the first time the two have partnered up, they initially thought it was a coincidence when they were assigned to missions together in the Port Mafia, but after a while, it became clear to anyone with eyes that they were deliberately paired together.
The two initially protested in front of Mori Ougai, saying, "Who wants to do missions with that bastard mackerel/black little dwarf?!" But Mori Ougai just smiled and said, "Isn't this because we have a good relationship?" Over time, they got used to it and would call each other "partner" in front of outsiders.
Sometimes during missions, when the waiting time was too long and there was nothing to do, Chuuya would borrow Dazai Osamu's game console to play. Although Dazai would say things like, "You stupid Chuuya's small brain capacity is not good at playing such difficult things as game consoles," he would still hand the game console to him.
When the game console came into Chuuya's hands, the little figures inside seemed to become clumsy.
Dazai Osamu liked to use reverse psychology to arouse Chuuya's competitive spirit in games, and then try to break his previous record, but all sorts of things always happened and the challenge failed.
Watching Chuuya jump up and down in anger, Dazai felt so happy that he could eat fifty cans of crab meat in one go.
However, it is often at these moments that he is most likely to break free from his dream.
Perhaps it was due to heightened emotional fluctuations, or some other reason, that caused him to wake up suddenly. Upon waking, he was usually all alone.
He was the only one in the dim, cramped space.
The game console lay silently on the table next to it, almost blending into the dark environment.
A note from the author:
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Edited
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