Chapter 40: The Double Black
Dazai Osamu still couldn't understand this world, including everything and everyone that existed in this time and space. The essence of time travel, the meaning of staying, and the subtle yet undeniable changes in Nakahara Chuuya all became sources of confusion for him. He felt like he was standing in a fog, able to see the outlines of things but unable to feel their reality, unable to interpret them, as if some kind of barrier was blocking his way.
This situation did not improve over time; in fact, it became more and more serious.
A long-awaited reunion should be filled with joy. Fairy tales always begin with a meeting and end with a reunion, as if that moment is an eternal and beautiful symbol.
But Dazai knew all too well that the most dangerous part of the story was precisely what happened after the reunion. The characters' fates were no longer written on paper, but rather followed the arrangements of so-called fate, heading towards their own ends, whether beautiful or painful.
Once the predetermined ending is revealed, what happens afterward? As long as a person remains alive, time and life will not stand still. Or rather, time never stops for anyone; survival itself means the necessity to move forward. And his life is being forced to extend in an unexpected direction.
Look, he found someone he'd known in a dream for years, only to inadvertently learn that it was all predetermined fate. Or rather, from the moment he realized this, perhaps all the unknown possibilities became certainties, though he still didn't know the specifics.
Since his arrival in this world, Dazai has been analyzing the circumstances and intentions behind [Dazai Osamu]'s departure. Judging from the remaining notes and activity patterns of the other party, that counterpart had clearly touched upon some kind of truth. Connecting this with the circumstances of his own arrival and the injured state of his body when he transmigrated, and linking it with the reason for his initial departure from his original world, everything points to the same condition: near death.
Perhaps what Dazai Osamu mastered was simply the simplest method: to free his body from becoming a vessel that bound him. In other words, to actively allow his body's life force to drain away.
So, in order to test this, Dazai Osamu began to deliberately orchestrate events: intentionally revealing his whereabouts to specific people to create conditions for certain events to escalate. Everything unfolded as predicted.
Everything unfolded as he had anticipated, except for Nakahara Chuuya.
This is the only variable in this matter.
Or rather, Dazai tacitly approved of this variable's existence. It seemed he was giving each other an unspoken opportunity.
Dazai decided to use his own life to verify the connection between death and time travel. Although there were already three samples, all of them were passive events. This time, it was a real experiment that he led.
The conditions and content weren't perfect, but they were sufficient to achieve the goal. The only risk was time; longer time meant more variables. However, what in this world could truly be considered a variable for Dazai Osamu—in a world with almost no other connections to him?
There is still only one answer: Nakahara Chuuya.
Although Chuuya, like him, was a time traveler, he wouldn't take Chuuya with him to participate in this experiment. The success rate couldn't be guaranteed, and failure meant certain death.
This aligns with his consistent pursuit, but Zhongyuan Zhong shouldn't be like this.
He didn't know exactly how long Chuuya had stayed in this world, or how many people he had formed bonds with. He wouldn't force Chuuya to choose between himself and other people or things.
In fact, he believes that a peaceful life is perhaps more suitable for Chuuya now. Therefore, he will not make the decision for the other party to "die together and sever all ties" without his consent.
The only thing he can decide is himself.
However, the experiment failed as expected—Dazai realized this when he opened his eyes after the side effects of the sleeping pills wore off.
The first thing that caught his eye was still Chuuya Nakahara's highly distinctive face and those cobalt blue eyes that shone with emotion; he almost dared not meet his gaze at that moment.
Although he sometimes imagines himself as a moth drawn to a flame, when he actually gets close to a flame so bright it seems to scorch everything, he's more like a mimosa plant that fears the burning and curls up at the slightest touch, wanting only to move away from the flames.
Dazai couldn't make any life-or-death decisions for Chuuya Nakahara—even though he had casually decided the fates of countless people. But as a human being, he was bound to have selfish motives. Between strangers and acquaintances, anyone would lean towards the latter. And between him and Chuuya, they had long since transcended the realm of acquaintances.
And so, by staging this self-directed and self-acted illegitimate intrusion incident (when explaining to Nakahara Chuuya, he always claimed that all incidents were accidents), he naturally moved into the other party's house, and all his explanations for this matter remained at the level of "accident".
There are, of course, reasons for not telling him the truth and his thoughts. Even a fool could guess his reaction after finding out—it would be either advice or anger, inevitably falling into the category of trying to stop him. Since the content is predictable, there's no need to say it aloud.
Life at Chuuya's house was fairly ordinary. Surprisingly, Chuuya didn't ask much about what happened that time.
Dazai Osamu had previously mentally rehearsed several scenarios and answers to the questions the other party might ask, but when the other party received his perfunctory answer that "it was all just an accident," he simply nodded to indicate acceptance and did not ask any more questions, leaving Dazai feeling as if he had hit a cotton ball.
What? I thought they would investigate this further, but they just skipped over it so casually. How unfair!
This led Dazai to once say to Chuuya, "Chuuya~ Aren't you curious about why? Aren't you curious about why I would do something like this?"
After hearing this, Chuuya Nakahara rolled his eyes noticeably and then said in a smug tone, "Do you think you'd tell me if I asked?"
"Haha, of course not." Dazai Osamu chuckled dryly a few times, then sighed with a regretful tone, "I thought Chu would be so curious that he couldn't sleep at night, tossing and turning, just thinking about how to get the answer out of me."
"Ha, who would be as bored as you? There's no need to dwell on things you can't answer. Anyway, if you're willing to tell me, I'll find out."
Chuuya's unusually blunt words left Dazai Osamu speechless. What was this mere Chuuya, who had actually shown a rare moment of intelligence, guessing part of his little scheme? This gave Dazai a chill, like ants crawling all over his skin, and the strange feeling made him not press the matter further.
However, Dazai was somewhat dissatisfied with Chuuya's indifferent reaction, but he couldn't quite put his finger on what it was and didn't want to delve into it. He simply chose to tacitly skip over the matter and move on to other topics.
The guest room where Dazai had stayed before remained unchanged; it was exactly as it was when he left, and it was exactly as it was when he saw him again.
Sometimes he would think about that night, the night he prepared to escape from the house, and what happened.
He would recall the warm touch of their skin touching each other on a snowy night, the snow melting slightly on Chuuya Nakahara's hair, and those eyes that were haloed under the dim light, his face reddened by the cold wind.
What else? There's also the other party's sudden appearance.
Sometimes he felt that all of this was too coincidental, or perhaps it was just that the coincidences were so wonderful that he remembered those moments so vividly.
Life at Chuuya's house was quite peaceful. He had to go to work during the day, but occasionally he would spend an afternoon or a whole day at the house with him, playing games or watching concert recordings.
Dazai Osamu didn't go out often, instead choosing to spend most of his time online, tinkering with things that Chuuya Nakahara couldn't understand.
Sometimes when they were eating face-to-face at the table, Dazai would jokingly say, "It feels like Chuuya is keeping me hidden away like a mistress."
Upon hearing this, Chuuya Nakahara raised an eyebrow and parted his lips slightly, as if he wanted to say something.
Dazai Osamu had expected the other person to make angry squeaking noises or some other strange sound. But although the other person made a gesture as if trying to speak, they did not make any sound or say anything aggressive. Instead, they remained silent for a long time, finally uttering only a short and dry "hmm".
This reaction inexplicably tickled Dazai Osamu's funny bone, making him burst into laughter. Under Chuuya Nakahara's inexplicable and embarrassed gaze, he regained his composure.
With Chuuya Nakahara's tacit approval, Osamu Dazai can use anything in this room, including the other person's cell phone.
The password is easy to guess; it can be cracked by comparing fingerprints or dust marks on the screen.
He skipped over the familiar and unfamiliar nicknames and finally found a few familiar names in the contacts, such as the elementary school student who called himself Conan Edogawa, and people who had appeared around him.
Even after the meeting that day, Dazai had already investigated the other person's background. After all, he already knew the other person's name and appearance; as long as someone had left a trace in this society, it was impossible not to find information about them.
Since Dazai Osamu had interacted with that elementary school student, judging from the student's reaction during their meeting, their relationship should be considered quite good. Furthermore, given that Nakahara Chuuya and Dazai Osamu had previously maintained a close relationship, Dazai Osamu reasonably suspected that Chuuya might also know this person.
The information on this phone now confirms this. However, he won't do anything about it for the time being; he just needs to gather some information.
So after checking the information, he put his phone back where it was.
Chuuya Nakahara had also expressed surprise at his frequent stay-at-home behavior, asking him why he wasn't running around outside like before, experimenting with his so-called "water-entry plans."
When Dazai Osamu was being questioned, he had a piece of bread in his mouth. Upon hearing this, he waved his finger in front of Chuuya's face, drawing Chuuya's attention away from his own, and then teased him in a slightly muffled voice:
"You idiot Chuuya! If someone takes pictures of me frequently going in and out of your house, the headlines tomorrow might be something like, 'Superstar Dazai Osamu retires from the entertainment industry for love, and his lover is actually—' I'm thinking about Chuuya's future!"
These words immediately drew a look of suspicion and disbelief from Chuuya Nakahara: "Huh? You actually think about people?"
"How strange! Did the sun rise in the west today?"
"Chuuya, that's going too far! Can't I do this kind of thing? That's an outrageous idea! You're my little dog, and as a proper owner, you should consider all aspects to be considered a good master~" Dazai Osamu said in a wronged tone and with a drawn-out look in his eyes, while he was chewing something.
When Chuuya Nakahara heard the first part of those words, he felt a slight pang of guilt. But after hearing the rest, all of that guilt vanished, replaced by a restless urge to punch.
He had previously developed a set of fist techniques specifically for Dazai, which would hurt a lot but not cause serious injury. In the previous world, the [Dazai Osamu] was so honest in some ways that he felt that apart from his face, he was not like Dazai at all, so there was nothing serious enough to warrant using this set of fist techniques.
However, today, it finally came into play again and was put to use once more.
Although Dazai managed to dodge most of the attacks thanks to his familiarity with Chuuya, this body hadn't undergone much training, while Chuuya, even in the other world, maintained his daily exercise routine. Therefore, Dazai quickly found himself at a disadvantage, receiving several blows from Chuuya's fists.
To be honest, it felt strangely like a cat scratching an itch. Although he really wanted to make a sarcastic remark about Chuuya, mocking his weak punches, he decided it was better to stay quiet for a while, considering that he was going to eat delicious crab later (cooked by Chuuya).
In Chuuya's eyes, after being taught a lesson, this bastard finally behaved himself for a while and sat obediently at the dining table with his head down.
So he put on an apron and went to the kitchen to prepare the crabs.
Chuuya had originally planned to have something simpler for dinner before he got home, but as soon as he opened the door, he saw Dazai pointing at the huge king crab on the table and asking him to make delicious crab meat.
He initially wanted to refuse, but this bastard kept pestering him, eventually even saying to him, "This is a once-in-a-lifetime request, please, Chuuya!"
At that moment, Chuuya Nakahara momentarily softened his heart, and his facial expression shifted slightly, which Dazai immediately noticed.
So Dazai seized on this point and pressed his advantage, eventually getting the other party to agree to make the giant crab that he had somehow gotten his hands on, allowing him to once again enjoy a delicious crab dinner made by Chef Chuuya himself.
Days passed by in this ordinary way, so ordinary that it was a scene he had never imagined before. Sometimes, Dazai felt that it was all unreal, like a dream, as if he could wake up at any moment. He would find himself still lying in the container, or some other safe, dark corner, alone, staring at the empty darkness in the air, repeatedly pulled into the abyss of consciousness by the tentacles of negative emotions.
However, before he wakes up from this dream—if all of this is still a dream—he no longer needs to worry as much as before, because his only bond in this world is Chuuya.
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Author's note: While writing, I suddenly thought of a point. The reason for not hiring a personal chef was firstly because I was afraid of Dazai's identity being exposed, secondly because neither of us was comfortable with strangers present, and thirdly because this house was Chuuya's ultimate private space. Before Dazai arrived, he was the only one who managed everything and wouldn't allow anyone who wasn't considered one of his own to enter. Thus, Chef Chuuya appeared!
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