Chapter 68 Burial
Yu Huatang looked at him in surprise but said nothing.
Baili Yunzhou continued, "Actually, I just want to know if you suffered a lot of grievances there, but he must have had some relationship with your ex-husband, so he kept his mouth shut."
"Don't ask him next time...I guess he doesn't know either." Yu Huatang said.
"Aren't they colleagues?" Baili asked.
Yu Huatang shook his head, then lowered his head. After a while, he said, "Anyway, let's not talk about that person anymore. Let's talk about you. I feel bad that you're wasting your youth like this..."
"Why do you feel bad? As a man, what do I need youth for? Don't think too much about it. You can't control me what I want to do, right?"
The two of them got on the carriage again. When they arrived at their own courtyard, Yu Huatang got out and couldn't help but say, "Think carefully about what I just said."
"Okay, I get it. You can go in." Baili didn't agree with what she said at all and answered casually.
She had no choice but to say goodbye and walk into the courtyard.
The carriage followed suit.
She took out the key and was about to open the door when she heard a voice from behind, "Huatang..."
She was startled and her key fell. She picked it up and looked back, and found that the person standing in front of her was Zhao Yan, who should have gone back long ago.
She was puzzled. "Master Zhao...?"
"I'm sorry, I didn't scare you. I just wanted to say a few words to you." He looked at me apologetically.
Yu Huatang didn't know what he was going to say, so she lowered her head and remained silent.
After a while, he said, "Today, Baili asked about the previous incident again... Actually, he was right. Our family did want to marry a noble lady, but we were just trying to gain fame and reputation and refused to admit it. Later, after we divorced, many families in the capital accused us of being hypocritical, marrying you and then leaving you alone. We all thought it was excessive, but now we feel they were right."
"So, you must have had a very difficult time in the past three years of your marriage, right? Did your mother and second sister-in-law give you a hard time? Did even the servants at home deliberately make things difficult for you..."
"I'm sorry. Only today did I realize how arrogant and unworthy of being a husband I was..."
Hearing him say this, she finally smiled bitterly, "Master Zhao, we have been divorced for three years..."
Zhao Yan was stunned for a moment, and suddenly he understood that such words should have been said three years ago.
At that time, he should have asked, "You just married into the family, have you encountered any difficulties, are you not used to anything?" or "If the servants are obedient and willing to work, but he was completely indifferent and did nothing at that time..."
After a long while, he finally said, "I was sincere when I said I wanted to be a normal couple with you... But then something happened. Minister He's family..."
He paused at this point. He didn't know how to phrase the matter of He Rongjin. Just as he was about to speak again, she spoke first, "Sir... I don't want to hear any of this. Please don't say any more, okay?"
He was speechless.
Yes, they've been married for three years, why would they wait like a normal couple? Even when other important officials got into trouble, he didn't seem to care, but he only cared about Minister He's family...
At this moment, he saw clearly that he was the same as them...
Everyone thought marrying her was already a favor, so why would she ask for anything else...
He closed his eyes in pain. Having read the books of sages, he thought he had hidden his prejudice and arrogance well. But after marrying her, his criticism and scrutiny were fully revealed...
At this point, Yu Huatang didn't want to say anything more. He just said, "...It's late at night and the dew is heavy. My Lord, please go back and rest."
After saying that, she turned around and opened the door.
At this moment, Zhao Yan held her back and said again, "I want us to be friends again, but I can't..." After a long while, he mustered up the courage and asked again, "I want to know, did you marry me three years ago because you really loved me, or..."
Yu Huatang replied, "There's nothing to explore, sir. Three years ago, I was just a girl from a small town. It was my first time seeing such a magnificent place, and also my first time meeting a man as talented and beautiful as you. Naturally, I agreed. I think if the person I wanted to marry wasn't you, I would have been dazzled by wealth and would have agreed to someone else..."
"Well, if we didn't know each other before and this is our first meeting, would you still..."
Yu Huatang glanced at him and replied, "Yes, sir. Your looks are rare and beautiful. I am not immune to worldly desires, so I might also be attracted to you. However, before that, I might have been distracted by Baili's pursuit, so I couldn't wait for you. But all this is based on who I am now. A few years ago, I was inferior and cowardly. I don't think either you or Baili would have been interested in me. Therefore, these assumptions are meaningless..."
Zhao Yan looked at her, and as she spoke, despair slowly filled his eyes. The piece of driftwood that had been the only thing he had left when he was drowning was now shattered by the waves, and he fell to the bottom of the sea forever...
He stood in front of her, stunned, not knowing what to do or what to say, but stubbornly unwilling to leave...
After a long pause, Yu Huatang said, "No matter what, I'm grateful to you for helping me out today... Let's just let the past go. There's no point in talking about it..."
He nodded blankly, his steps staggering a little, and finally said, "...You, take care."
He no longer had any reason to stay...
Yu Huatang watched him leave, turned around, opened the door, and then closed it.
As the door closed again, the departing person turned back again. He looked deeply at the door in the darkness. It was silent and separated the two of them, like the Milky Way. There was no hope anymore...
As the footsteps faded away, Yu Huatang sat down silently against the door...
She was too familiar with this voice. In those days, in the lonely Jingya Hall, she would be happy when she heard his footsteps, and cry silently when she heard his footsteps leaving...
On those days when the moon set in Wudi, she waited for him in the courtyard but he never showed up. Later, she realized that everything was just wishful thinking. In the end, the girl who loved him finally died, and she buried her with her own hands...
Later, she learned skills, wholeheartedly for the sake of inheritance. She became a clever lantern lady, a hollow person...
Now, three years have passed, and she thought she had forgotten the pain and had completely become Lady Qiaodeng.
But he came, he told her that he wanted to marry her, he apologized to her, he confessed to her...
The buried girl raised her head again, but this time her face no longer bore the joy she would have felt later. Instead, it was filled with melancholy, bewilderment, and a sigh...
Those long-lost friendships eventually faded away, and she shed tears again, for her former self and for the passionate friendships of those years...
Finally, she swallowed the pain in her heart, took a deep breath, wiped away her tears, and told herself that everything was over...
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