Chapter 179 Questioning
But he stopped, he couldn't find a reason to go see her. As for loving her, she didn't need it. As for making amends, she didn't seem to need it either.
The image of her leaving Ya Jingtang that day replayed itself before his eyes again and again. She was so frail, and she had walked away so resolutely. Then, in the pitch-black night, she lay dejected on her bed, enduring the pain...
He couldn't bear it, and just opened his painful eyes.
At this moment, he finally understood that their relationship had ended a long time ago, but he was unwilling to wake up and was still dreaming of being husband and wife with her again.
It was impossible anymore. He had made her go through all of this: the ridicule of the servants, the contempt and disregard of her family, Ouyang Zui's frivolity, and her own arrogance and harshness...
She will never come back. When she loved him deeply, he hurt her deeply. When he loved her again, it was already over.
He finally left in the heavy rain, left her yard and returned to Orchid Garden.
The next day, as usual, she went to visit Mrs. Zhao again as a guest.
Mrs. Zhao saw that she looked calm and there was nothing unusual, as if she had not heard what was said last night.
After some polite words as usual, Yu Huatang planned to leave.
Mrs. Zhao stopped her and asked, "Did you know that Qi Bi came here yesterday?"
Yu Huatang sat down and replied, "I can vaguely hear the sound, but I can't hear it clearly."
Mrs. Zhao nodded and chatted with her for a while. It was almost time to go to Tianjing Pavilion, so Yu Huatang took Qingxing and said goodbye.
Madam Zhao sighed and said, "When you were at the Zhao family, I ignored you and didn't even visit you when you were seriously ill. Now that you've put aside our past grudges and are working hard for me, do you hate me or blame me?"
Yu Huatang replied, "Lord Zhao gave me enough money and recommended me to the Tianjing Pavilion, so I didn't lose anything. As for the past, we are now just officials and common people, so there is no need to mention it. Well, Madam, have a good rest, I'll be leaving first."
Mrs. Zhao nodded and watched her leave.
She didn't want to talk about the past anymore, and seemed unwilling to have much contact with them. If she didn't have to go there, she would probably leave immediately.
Mrs. Zhao sighed helplessly.
Yu Huatang got on the carriage as usual, but did not find Zhao Yan in the carriage.
She looked through the window toward the gate, but didn't see him.
Zhao Yan was behind the door, listening to the sound of the carriage leaving, but he did not go to see it off.
She left and went to Tianjing Pavilion, a place without him and the Zhao family. It was her own world.
He took a day off.
He didn't go anywhere. After sitting in the room for a while, he went to Yajingtang. No one had lived here for many years and it no longer looked like it used to. The furnishings were simple and all the things she had before were gone. It didn't look like she had lived here at all.
There was only that table. He would sometimes see her reading and writing here. He walked in and saw the bed. She slept there alone. The bed didn't look very big. Maybe the people in the mansion knew that he would not come to live here.
He saw her closet again. It was very small and could only hold a few pieces of clothing. He also remembered that he rarely saw her wearing bright clothes. Then there was the dressing table, which was already covered with dust.
He could still remember the hairpins she wore when he took her out. It seemed that there were only those few, and he didn't see her wearing any other jewelry.
He brushed off the dust with his hand and sat down on the chair beside the counter, where she would draw her eyebrows in front of the mirror countless times.
He vaguely remembered that when she first came, she was still a little dusty and her skin was not very fair, with some traces of being sunburned.
But later she changed, learned the etiquette of the capital, and her words and deeds gradually became like those of an official's wife.
Her skin color changed, and even her accent changed. Originally, she couldn't speak the Beijing dialect very well, but later, when he spoke to her, he couldn't hear any Quanzhou accent.
If he had paid attention to these things earlier, he would definitely think that this woman was very hardworking. It took a girl from an aristocratic family more than ten years of training and learning, but she achieved it in just three years.
She had been trying very hard to get closer to him, but he didn't care.
Later, he went to Fulu Temple again and found the one with her name on it among a pile of wooden signs. In the past eight years, the wooden sign had faded a little, and his name gradually appeared in the originally blackened area.
He took a pen and wrote his name again, then carefully imitated her handwriting and traced her name again.
When the ink dried, he hung the wooden plaque high up and bowed three times with great sincerity.
After leaving Fulu Temple, he followed her footsteps and came to Yuanxiang Street, which was always crowded.
He sat down on the side of the road, just a foot away from her. She was molested by a bastard like Ouyang Zui, but she swallowed her tears alone, with no one to talk to.
He closed his eyes, placed his hands on his forehead, and let the tears fall.
I really want to go back to that time, hold her in my arms, and tell her not to be afraid, that he is her husband and will seek justice for her.
But time cannot be reversed, he can never go back to that time.
After an unknown amount of time spent on Yuanxiang Street, he left, walked around outside, and returned to Zhao's house.
Then he asked someone to find Wang Zhubu.
"Help me check out this person, his past, present, hobbies, and who he's associated with."
Wang Zhubu asked, "Who does your Excellency want to investigate?"
"Ouyang Zui."
Wang Zhubu didn't say anything. He knew that Zhao Yan had beaten Ouyang Zui, and he also knew that it was because Ouyang Zui had flirted with Miss Yu. He thought that the matter was over after Lord Zhao had beaten him.
"Your Excellency wishes to..."
Zhao Yan said, "You don't need to know too much. Just tell me his daily whereabouts and how to follow him. I will handle the rest."
Wang Zhubu nodded.
A few days later, Tianjing Pavilion was on holiday, and Zhao Yan took Yu Huatang to Eunuch Cao's house.
Yu Huatang hadn't seen Zhao Yan for several days. Seeing him dressed comfortably and smiling today, she couldn't help but take a few more glances at him.
Zhao Yan smiled and said, "Go up."
The two of them got on the carriage, and Zhao Yan said gently, "If you see any books or other things you want later, you can take them. I've already made an agreement with him."
"Really?" she asked again, "Will it be bad?"
He comforted her, "No, Eunuch Cao has several adopted sons who wanted to buy some land to honor him. I approved it for them."
"Then doesn't this mean..."
He smiled and said, "What are you worried about? It will definitely be approved."
Yu Huatang had no choice but to say, "Thank you, Master Zhao."
When they arrived at Eunuch Cao's house, they were quickly invited to his study. Although Eunuch Cao was a eunuch, he usually liked to collect books on skills. Especially after he became the head of the Imperial Household Department, he had even more books and picture albums on this subject.
Zhao Yan sat down and drank tea, watching her looking for a book on the bookshelf.
After searching for a while, Yu Huatang was indeed amazed by the unique pieces in Eunuch Cao's collection. She was already delighted at the thought of being able to learn something from them.
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