Shu Bai brushed her teeth, her mouth full of minty foam, and caught a glimpse of Li Yuheng's blurry image flickering in the mirror, but she wouldn't get any toothpaste on her.
"Cough," he rinsed his mouth and wiped the water from the corner of his mouth, "Li Yuheng, you brush yours too."
Li Yuheng was admiring his perfect jawline in the mirror when he heard this and raised an eyebrow: "This goddess is naturally elegant and immaculate, why would I need to brush my teeth?"
Shu Bai grabbed a towel to wipe his face: "Since you've used my mouth, you have to follow my rules. Scrub."
Li Yuheng swayed behind him and winked at Shu Bai's reflection in the mirror: "We've already used it, and now you're talking about rules? Who was it that wouldn't let go of my neck just now, and now you're complaining?"
Shu Bai glanced at him in the mirror, reached for Li Yuheng's toothbrush, squeezed on toothpaste, and handed it to him: "Let's keep things separate. Are you going to brush or not?"
Li Yuheng took the toothbrush, twirled it between his fingers twice, but didn't move it. Instead, he leaned close to Shu Bai's ear and whispered, "Actually... I think it tastes pretty good. How about... you go first next time?"
Shu Bai paused, then said, "Li Yuheng, you really are..."
“What is ‘truth’? Honesty and straightforwardness? A willingness to explore?” Li Yuheng replied smugly, “I know, there are too many advantages for you to praise all at once.”
Shu Bai hung up the towel, turned around, crossed her arms, and looked at Li Yuheng.
"I've discovered that you have a special ability."
"Ah~ So you've finally discovered my extraordinary nature? Tell me, is it the ability to see through all things or divine power that's like a prison?"
"Neither. It's that it can automatically translate anything a person says into 'Li Yuheng is the best in the universe, and Shu Bai loves me to no end.'"
Li Yuheng nodded in deep agreement: "How can this be called translation? This is called seeing through the phenomenon to the essence, accurately capturing the surging true emotions beneath your words. It shows that I have keen insight."
"...Never mind. Just brush your teeth. It's better for everyone if you say less."
Li Yuheng tossed the toothbrush into the cup, making a crisp sound.
"I won't brush it." He crossed his arms, floated up, and looked down at Shu Bai. "My saliva is pure nectar, it has its own purification function, understand?"
Shu Bai nodded, left the bathroom, and picked up her water glass: "I understand. Then don't kiss me tonight."
Li Yuheng instantly floated down, pressed himself against his face, and said in a sinister tone, "Why should I?"
"Hygiene." Shu Bai took a sip of water. "I'm particular about that."
Li Yuheng was speechless at these words. He stared at Shu Bai as she put down the water glass and walked to the bedside with a matter-of-fact expression.
"Ha, hygiene?" Li Yuheng laughed angrily. "Who swallowed it this afternoon?"
“Afternoon is afternoon.” Shu Bai lifted the covers and sat down. “Impulsiveness is the devil, and you have to make amends afterward. Basic cleaning procedures are essential; it’s good for both of us. Details determine success or failure, and health depends on maintenance.”
Li Yuheng stared at him for two seconds, then suddenly reached out and pinched Shu Bai's cheeks. The force wasn't strong, but it carried a hint of gritted teeth: "Well, Shu Bai, you're getting better and better at making me angry."
Shu Bai pouted slightly as he pinched her lips, and mumbled a retort: "I'm just telling the truth... how is that making you angry?"
As he spoke, he raised his hand and slapped Li Yuheng's hand away. "Let go of me. How can you be so unreasonable? Not only do you not want to brush your teeth, but you also expect me to have a 'lingering aftertaste'?"
Li Yuheng suddenly laughed.
“No,” he leaned closer, poking the lingering marks on Shu Bai’s collarbone with his fingertip, “You’re disgusted with yourself?”
Shu Bai pulled the blanket up: "Why not? Everyone has a responsibility to maintain hygiene."
"Alright, alright, I'll be meticulous, extremely meticulous." Li Yuheng chuckled, turned and floated towards the bathroom. "I'll go scrub it, okay? I'll scrub it until it's sparkling clean, so you can kiss me without any guilt next time."
Shu Bai watched his retreating figure and added, "Clean it thoroughly inside and out, don't cut corners."
Li Yuheng waved his hand without turning his head: "I know! You little germaphobe."
…
The sound of water and the soft rustling of a toothbrush could be heard from the bathroom.
Not long after, Li Yuheng returned, his breath carrying the fresh scent of mint. He deliberately leaned close to Shu Bai and breathed on her.
"Smell it, does it meet the standard? Does it meet your 'success or failure in details, health maintenance' standard?"
Shu Bai really leaned closer to sniff it, then nodded: "Hmm. Not bad. Keep it up."
Li Yuheng squeezed into the quilt, wrapping his arms around Shu Bai's waist: "Are you satisfied now? This guardian deity has condescended to do this much for you, aren't you moved?"
"I'm touched." Shu Bai said calmly, "So remember to check it in advance next time, don't always make me remind you."
Li Yuheng chuckled, "Oh, there's going to be a next time? Looks like the service was pretty good this afternoon?"
"...It's spot on, but he talks too much, which affects the experience."
"More talk makes things more interesting. Besides, isn't every word I say a golden rule?"
"I didn't hear any wise words, but I did hear a lot of self-praise."
"That's called stating the facts. A guardian like me, who has both good looks and strength, and is also incredibly considerate, is one of a kind in heaven and earth. You should be secretly happy."
Shu Bai closed her eyes, too lazy to argue with him: "You're having fun, go to sleep."
Li Yuheng persisted, leaning close to his ear and whispering, "Really asleep? Don't you want to savor this afternoon a little longer..."
Shu Bai opened his eyes and sighed, "Li Yuheng, if you don't go to sleep soon, I'm going to have to consider squeezing in with Shu Huaijin and the others."
"Okay, okay, go to sleep." Li Yuheng immediately tightened his arms and pulled the person closer to him.
The room finally quieted down, with only the steady breathing of the two people remaining.
After a while, Shu Bai suddenly spoke, his voice sleepy: "Li Yuheng."
"Um?"
"Why did you keep looking at me this afternoon... when you were doing 'that'?"
"Nonsense, who else would you look at? My wife is at her most beautiful, I'd be missing out if I didn't."
"Oh." Shu Bai paused for a moment. "So, how are you feeling?"
"Hey, now you care about user experience? Weren't you just complaining that I talked too much?"
"Say it or don't, it's up to you."
"Say it, of course I'll say it. The feeling...it was amazing. Especially the way you clearly couldn't stand it, but you were forcing yourself to, it was particularly—"
"Alright. You can shut up now."
"...You'll get upset if I tell you."
"Hahaha."
Li Yuheng became alert: "...Why are you laughing all of a sudden?"
In the darkness, the laughter sounded somewhat eerie.
No, it's extremely strange.
At this moment, Li Yuheng's inner drama began to unfold.
First up is the "Approaching Science" program team, their calm yet tender voiceover uttering: "Where does this late-night laughter come from? Is it moral decay or a distortion of human nature? Welcome to this episode of 'A Grand Review of Abnormal Partner Behaviors'..."
Immediately afterward, he began to suspect that what he was holding in his arms was not Shu Bai, but an alien learning robot that had just downloaded the Human 1.0 version and was currently debugging the emotional module.
Or perhaps, Shu Bai is actually a Russian nesting doll, and he just accidentally pressed a hidden switch, causing the outermost shell to click open and revealing the one inside...
It was still sparse and white inside, but this sparse and white suddenly activated a special mode in the middle of the night.
Li Yuheng even began to wonder if he had accidentally pressed Shu Bai's ticklish spot.
Just as he was about to turn Shu Bai around to see what was going on, the other person spoke first: "...Happy."
Li Yuheng immediately beamed, pulling the person closer to him, his voice soft and affectionate:
"...Oh, my wife, you and I are the best of friends in the world~"
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