“Guardian, I don’t like hearing that. I’m in great shape. Every morning without fail, I run two laps around the back mountain, and my breathing is perfectly steady. Shu Huaijin even said that my physique is much stronger than his when he was young. You can’t slander me for no reason and say that I lack exercise.”
Li Yuheng was trying to do a high knee raise when he heard Shu Bai's words and forcibly pressed his leg down, which was already halfway up.
"Oh? Run two laps around the hill? That little dirt mound behind your house? You call that a hill? Back then we called it a threshold. Two laps? Let me tell you, real exercise is—"
Before he could finish speaking, Shu Bai interrupted him, his tone carrying the earnest wisdom of someone with more experience:
"Guardian, when it comes to exercise, it's not about how intense it is, but about consistency. Besides, these days everyone talks about scientific health preservation; excessive exercise can damage your knees. You need to change your old ways. I just feel that running two laps every day is just right, making me sweat a little and feeling great all over."
"...An old almanac?!"
Li Yuheng raised his hand and pinched "his" left cheek, pulling it outward with force.
Shu Bai was startled by the force of the pinch on her face, and then her voice rose in disbelief: "You pinched my face?!"
Li Yuheng manipulated that hand, gently squeezing it again, and responded confidently in his mind: "Yes. I pinched it. What, is that not okay?"
“Guardian, I need to make this clear to you. Shu Huaijin and Wen Rui have never laid a finger on me, not even since I was a child. Not to mention my parents, Shu Wenyan and Xiang Yudie.”
"Oh? Really? That means they don't care about you enough. Old... friend, this is a blessing from God, you should be grateful, you know?"
As he spoke, Li Yuheng used his other hand to pinch Shu Bai's other cheek.
"Look, it's symmetrical, isn't that great?"
Then, Li Yuheng started shaking his head from side to side like a tap.
On the street, she made movements that seemed to suggest intellectual disability.
It makes one wonder if he walks on all fours in secluded places.
Shu Bai: "..."
Shu Bai remained silent for a few seconds, then the voice in his mind suddenly became unusually calm, even carrying a strange solemnity:
"Guardian, there's something I need to report to you beforehand."
Li Yuheng was engrossed in playing with "his" own face when he heard this, and asked casually, "Hmm? What is it?"
Shu Bai's tone remained calm, but her pace quickened slightly. "There might be... no, there is indeed another 'me' inside me. He has a bad temper. I feel... he's about to come out. But please remember, what he says is not my true thought."
"……What?"
Li Yuheng was stunned.
How come he didn't know his wife had a second personality?
Li Yuheng subconsciously focused his mind, carefully sensing every corner of Shu Bai's sea of consciousness, trying to find traces of the so-called "second personality".
Just as he was engrossed in his investigation, the voice in Shu Bai's mind suddenly changed.
"What are you looking at?! Put your eyes in your pockets! If you keep pinching, believe me, I'll twist your little bit of superhuman strength and release it like a rocket! Get out of here right now!"
Li Yuheng: "!!!"
What... what's going on?!
In my mind's eye, that familiar, sparse voice sounded anxiously, trying to soothe me:
"Guardian, please don't be angry. You see, I told you he had a bad temper and a sharp tongue. Please don't take it to heart; what he said isn't true. I absolutely didn't mean to let your divine power go to waste. Please calm down."
Li Yuheng: "..."
The irritable voice immediately retorted, its target the "nice guy" Shu Bai:
"Coward! Why are you wasting your breath talking to him? 'Guardian Angel'? I think he's just a troublemaker. Let me tell you, get the hell out of here, or when I get back in control, I'll curse you out too!"
"Good Samaritan" Shu Bai: "Please stop. I beg you. The Guardian God is magnanimous and won't hold it against us...right, Guardian God?"
Li Yuheng's divine sense swept through Shu Bai's sea of consciousness, but he couldn't find a second personality, or even a slightly rebellious thought. It was as clean as if it had been washed with water.
He was silent for two seconds, then chuckled softly.
Immediately afterwards, Li Yuheng released her slightly reddened cheeks from being pinched.
"Alright, stop acting. 'Another you'? You're making it sound so real."
The moment the words fell, Shu Bai felt a lightness spread through his body, and the sluggish feeling of being occupied by an external consciousness suddenly disappeared.
He regained control of his body.
The sunlight felt real again, and the sensation of the breeze on my skin became clear.
Li Yuheng's red phantom slowly coalesced beside him, arms crossed, watching him leisurely: "So, has 'the other you' quieted down yet?"
Shu Bai rubbed his cheeks, which had been pinched, expressionlessly, as if the scene of his mental breakdown had never happened:
"Please excuse my foolishness, Guardian. It's just that your actions just now were indeed a bit abnormal. I had no choice but to resort to this tactic."
Shu Bai looked around, hoping that no kind person would call the police.
Li Yuheng floated closer, almost face to face with him: "Oh. So you pretended to be crazy to scare me and force me out?"
Shu Bai leaned back slightly, creating a small distance between them: "The facts prove it works, and that's enough."
"So what do we do now? I'm out. Are you still going to keep up this 'dual personality' act? Do you want me to play along for a little longer?"
"I'd be too embarrassed to ask you, my guardian, to cooperate with me. Too much acting is bad for your health. It's getting late, I should go back. Shu Huaijin and Wen Rui must be getting impatient."
Li Yuheng floated beside him, lazily following: "Going back already? Aren't you going to wander around a bit more? That ice cream was really good, how about we go back and buy another one? This time it's on you."
Shu Bai didn't even turn his head: "Eating too many sweets is bad for your teeth. If you really feel free, why don't you go back and think about how to deal with the people behind the Cheng family's Madam incident?"
That 'colleague' who was kicked out of the Shu family by Shu Huaijin a few years ago is now hanging around with the 'fake seduction' people. If it weren't for targeting the Shu family, I really can't think of any other intention he might have.”
"Does such a small fry need my trouble? But since it's your business, I can lend a hand. How will you thank me?"
Shu Bai continued walking, "It's the duty of a guardian deity to protect the family; it would be vulgar to express gratitude. Besides, the Shu family has provided you with the best food and drink for hundreds of years, and there are plenty of potato chips. Isn't that enough?"
"Not enough. But if you were added, maybe it would be enough."
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