Chapter 58 Summer Solstice It’s summer again.
Pushing open the door to the third floor, the deep blue satin night sky comes into view first. The moon hangs obliquely in the sky, with a cold bluish-white light on its edges.
Walking a few steps forward, the white colored lights rustled in the wind. Between two adjustable lounge chairs, there was a wooden table that had turned a light green due to the moonlight.
Chen Xing placed the prepared wine on the table, listened to the crisp sound of ice cubes in the two wine glasses, and sat on one of the recliners.
Xia Huanming followed closely behind and sat opposite.
The two of them were silent and just sharing the wine.
Chen Xing mixed the "slightly sour" wine he mentioned before - white rum as the base, mixed with Aperol, then poured in half a cup of bayberry juice, and finally added soda water. When the wine was served, the orange-red wine swayed gently in the glass, like the setting sun sinking into the ice.
Xia Huanming took a sip and found it sour at the beginning but sweet in the aftertaste.
"How is it? It's okay, right?" Chen Xing also took a sip and nodded with satisfaction. "Another success. It would be even better if we throw another orange in there."
"I'll get it." Xia Huanming put down the cup and was about to stand up.
Chen Xing quickly grabbed his wrist and smiled: "I just said it casually, why did you really go?"
Xia Huanming looked at him in silence, as if observing whether his smile was the same as usual.
A few seconds later, Xia Huanming sat down again.
Chen Xing traced circles along the bottom of the cup with his fingers and asked quietly, "How did you find out?"
Xia Huanming leaned forward, folded his hands on his thighs, and unconsciously rubbed the base of his left hand with his right index finger. He answered truthfully, "Zheng Peiya told me that you were not in a good state after answering the phone that day, so I paid more attention to it and went out with you."
Chen Xing was stunned, covering his face and sighing: "Am I so obvious? I thought I concealed it well enough."
He heard Xia Huanming laugh softly: "No, it's just that Zheng Peiya's observation ability is too strong. If it was really obvious, then others would have noticed it."
"If I was just making an ordinary call today, then wouldn't it be in vain that you asked them to turn off the camera?" Chen Xing looked straight at Xia Huanming.
There was a kind of warm and dull metal in the depths of Xia Huanming's pupils, like silver that had been polished over the years, and it could reflect the moonlight even in the dark.
"No, it would be better if you were okay. I called you here just to make you happier." As Xia Huanming spoke, the corners of his mouth slightly raised.
Xia Huanming is really a... very kind person.
Chen Xing lowered his head and thought, then took another sip of wine.
This is also the reason why he is happy to stay with Xia Huanming.
Xia Huanming has a calming aura, like the pages of an old book that has been exposed to the sun on a late autumn afternoon.
When listening to him speak, she would always tilt her head slightly, neither anxiously nor wanderingly, just looking at him intently and patiently.
The light from the living room downstairs overflowed from the floor-to-ceiling windows and flowed across the lawn into a honey-colored river.
Chen Xing shifted his gaze upwards to look at the stars in the night sky.
The first day they arrived here, the moon seemed a little fuller than it is now.
They were not familiar with each other then, but now they have become close friends who can be trusted with the future.
Chen Xing smiled easily: "Where should I start? It would be boring if I talk too long."
Xia Huanming still looked at him seriously: "I will always listen, it doesn't matter if you don't say anything."
He wanted Chen Xing to vent his emotions, not to let him dwell on his memories.
As they said that day, memories only make people suffer again.
So even if Chen Xing didn't say anything today and the two of them went downstairs after drinking this glass of wine, he wouldn't think it was a big deal.
But Chen Xing still spoke, revealing everything that could not be found on the Internet.
His tone was extremely calm, as if he was relaying someone else's story.
Even if it's extremely sad.
Chen Xing was born in a very special yet very ordinary family. His mother was born deaf-mute, and his father was a truck driver. They were simple and kind, and they loved Chen Xing very much. They were rare parents who convinced others with reason, and they never beat or scolded Chen Xing.
Ever since Chen Xing entered kindergarten, his music teacher discovered his excellent sense of pitch and told his parents about it.
How could the parents not focus on nurturing a musical genius in such a family? Therefore, the majority of things in their small 50-square-meter home were musical instruments.
The guitar Chen Xing brought with him now was the one his father gave him. The strings broke three times but he never threw it away.
The music teacher valued Chen Xing's talent, so he paid for their music tutoring out of his own pocket and used his connections to invite a university professor to teach Chen Xing.
This was Chen Xing’s childhood.
His father was a truck driver, working from sunrise to sunset; his mother worked in a pet shop, and when she picked up Chen Xing from school, there would be some dog hair on her body.
Their family is not wealthy, at most they can just make ends meet, but even so, Chen Xing's spiritual world is extremely rich: he has parents who love him, a musical world given to him by his music teacher, a cute cat that sticks to him, and community friends who invite him out to play every afternoon.
Whenever Chen Xing looks at the sunset, he would think of that time.
He should have lived happily like this.
Until he was eight years old, first the kitten Tuntun who accompanied his mother to her wedding lost his appetite and died of illness a month later, and then his mother was in a car accident.
The driver was featured in the newspaper that day.
Because he was playing with his mobile phone and didn't look at the traffic light, by the time the male driver noticed it, he had already swept through the pedestrians crossing the road with the green light. Three of them died on the spot and five were seriously injured. His mother was one of the three.
A lot of people came to his mother's funeral, including many customers from the pet shop.
Because his mother loved dogs and cats the most when she was alive, he brought the pets here with his family's permission.
The cats and dogs seemed to know what the occasion was and were all very well behaved and obedient.
This was the first time Chen Xing learned how to say goodbye.
After his mother died, his father's hair turned white overnight and he suffered psychological trauma because of this incident. His hands would tremble when he sat in the driver's seat. He had no choice but to change his job and do car maintenance.
He was already suffering from the death of his wife, and in order to make money, he had to work in shifts, with only two days off a month at most. At the end of the same year, his father was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.
On the day of confirmation, Chen Xing remembered that his father sat at the window and smoked his first cigarette in his life.
He smoked this cigarette for a very long time, so long that Chen Xing fell asleep with sleepy eyes, and the only thing he saw the letter on the table the next day.
Little Chen Xing thought that it was a message from his father to him. After all, it contained a lot of praise for him and expressed the hope that he would be happy in the future. Moreover, his father took him out to play on Saturday.
If he had been a little smarter and more perceptive at that time, would he have noticed the sadness in his father's eyes? Would he have wondered why his busy father suddenly went to play with him?
But he was too young at that time. He was immersed in the parent-child time they could spend together, immersed in the dreamlike and illusory memories, and he vowed solemnly to get high scores in the next final exam before going out together again.
Their family has always regarded oaths as precious and would never go back on their words.
So that day, his father did not agree to his request. He just touched his head and said, "Wake up, you are a very, very good child."
They did not go home that night but went to a stranger's house. Chen Xing thought his father just brought him to visit, so he sat in the living room watching TV. His father and the male host went to the bedroom to chat, and another gentle female host introduced herself to him, saying that she was his mother's good friend.
This aunt shared many photos of his mother with Chen Xing. His mother was sunny and cheerful when she was a teenager, and you couldn't tell at all that she was hearing-impaired. This aunt and his mother were arm in arm, and they indeed had a very good relationship.
When he got home, his father asked Chen Xing what he thought of the family. Chen Xing said, "Because the aunt showed me a photo of my mother, I like this aunt very much."
After he said this, his father hugged him and cried for a long time, saying sorry many times.
When he went to school on Monday, he understood the meaning of the words "I'm sorry" and realized that the letter was not a message but a suicide note.
When the aunt came to the school to find him, tears rolled down her face. She hugged him tightly and told him the unfortunate news.
The moment Chen Xing heard the news, he felt as if the world had stopped. All he could do was stare numbly at the clock behind the classroom.
December 27, 2004, 13:11:43.
It was the time when the body of his father, who said he was going to work in the morning, was salvaged after committing suicide by jumping into the river.
From that day on, Chen Xing became particularly sensitive to time numbers and he would never forget any special time.
"Later, I understood the words on the suicide note. My father said that the cost of chemotherapy was too high. He didn't want to sell the house and car to let me live a poor life, so he chose to commit suicide and let this family take care of me. It was from that day that I knew that being poor is also a disease."
Chen Xing shook the wine glass with only a little wine left in it and pointed the orange-red wine at the moon.
The moon swayed from side to side as the wine glass swayed.
At that time, he probably didn't expect that he would talk about the painful and dark time so easily.
"..."Xia Huanming watched Chen Xing's posture. He seemed relaxed, but in fact his hands were shaking slightly.
Although it was clearly about death, Chen Xing spoke very calmly.
And his indifference left scars in Xia Huanming's heart.
Chen Xing was so young at that time, but all the people who loved him had left him. It must have been very painful for him.
But he was such a sensible child, he must have been hiding from the adults, secretly hugging the pillow and crying.
Xia Huanming clenched the wine glass and took a sip.
There was a distance between him and Chen Xing that was neither far nor close, and there was also a river of sorrow flowing in their hearts.
He listened to the person next to him and continued, "I actually wanted to die, but when I thought about how much they had sacrificed to keep me alive, wouldn't it be a shame for me to die? So from the moment I understood the suicide note, I was ready to live a good life."
The sound became quieter and quieter, like the trembling strings of white colored lights on the cast iron railings, as clear as wind chimes.
Xia Huanming looked at Chen Xing.
Chen Xing's bangs were brushed across her eyelids. She squinted her eyes, and after noticing his gaze, she smiled gently.
"I didn't bring this up because I felt there were many people in this world who were suffering more than me. I was already lucky. My aunt and uncle were very good to me. They treated me like their own son. They provided me with food, clothing, shelter and transportation, and they also allowed me to continue to learn music. Recently, the grandmother was hospitalized again. When they called me to borrow money, I could feel their pain, but I actually hoped they would borrow money from me. I am now able to do so, and it is finally not too late for everything."
There's still time for everything.
How could Xia Huanming not understand the meaning of this sentence?
The death of his parents has always been a knot in Chen Xing's heart. He was too young at that time and could not do anything.
After listening to Chen Xing's narration so far, Xia Huanming understood.
The gentleness of his original family made Chen Xing a generous, decent and thoughtful person; his current adoptive parents made Chen Xing understand independent self and strength and courage. The combination of the two has created Chen Xing's complete and fulfilled personality today.
Chen Xing never lives in the past, he always moves forward.
The eight-year-old Chen Xing was unable to save him. The twenty-four-year-old Chen Xing finally had someone who could save him. Chen Xing should have been happy, so why was he in a bad mood?
Soon, Chen Xing told him the answer—it was all because of his younger brother.
His younger brother had given him the best since he was born, but he still felt that Chen Xing was loved by his family and took away a lot of his love. Especially after knowing that Chen Xing was an outsider, he was even more spoiled and domineering towards Chen Xing. Chen Xing would throw any new things into the trash can, such as the little toy that could make snow fall.
Fortunately, his uncle and aunt knew right from wrong. Whenever they saw something happening, they would ask Chen Xing to fight back and say a few more words to criticize his brother.
But after the parents intervened, the younger brother's disgust towards Chen Xing reached a new level. However, Chen Xing had good grades, a good personality, and was talented. Besides, he could make money now, so the younger brother could not find fault with him. Every time, he could only use the excuse of "This is my home, it's either you or me" to drive Chen Xing out of the house during every holiday.
The aunt and uncle's family had no way of driving their own son and grandson away, so they could only secretly give Chen Xing some money so that he could have a good holiday.
In recent years, his younger brother has reached puberty again, and the little boy's boring self-esteem has come back. Even if their family needs medical expenses, they don't want Chen Xing to pay, because they are afraid of "losing his face and owing Chen Xing a favor."
So whenever my aunt and uncle had something to do, they would call him without my brother's knowledge. But today, my brother suddenly came home and found out, so they had a fight.
Xia Huanming's face grew darker as he listened.
What kind of brother is this? Is there something wrong with his brain?
If Chen Xing was his brother, wouldn't it be okay for him to follow Chen Xing around and stick to him every day?
Where can I find such a good brother? You don't know how to appreciate your blessings, you are a pure clown.
Chen Xing noticed Xia Huanming's expression, leaned forward and used his fingers to rub Xia Huanming's frown, then said with a smile: "It's okay. Do you think I'm someone who would tolerate him? Every time he's rude to me, I'll fight back, and he can't win the argument. It's quite funny to see him get humiliated. I just treat it as a daily routine."
Xia Huanming was still unhappy, frowned and asked him: "You said he drove you away, so have you been spending the holidays alone for the past ten years?"
Chen Xingyun said calmly: "If my friends are still here, I will go find them. If they are not here, I will go back to my home."
Xia Huanming: "But you can't cook. What if you eat yourself into the hospital?"
Chen Xing: “…”
Chen Xing scratched his head awkwardly: "My cooking is not that bad."
"You were still growing, so you definitely needed a balanced diet," Xia Huanming pinched Chen Xing's wrist. With a slight movement, his thumb could touch his index finger. "No wonder you looked so skinny and small in your ID photo."
Xia Huanming gently stroked Chen Xing's palm, feeling the bone knots beneath the delicate skin. He thought it was just right at first, but the more he touched, the thinner he felt.
If they had known each other at that time, he would have definitely raised Chen Xing to be plump and healthy.
When he was driven away, he came to him. They read and wrote together, practiced piano and sang together. Even without parents, he could cook three dishes and a soup at a very young age, and he would definitely satisfy Chen Xing.
Chen Xing widened his eyes in fear: "Was I that exaggerated at that time?" The teacher said that he was a normal weight?
How could Chen Xing know?
No matter how healthy his body was, in Xia Huanming's eyes he was just a poor little guy who was hungry and bullied.
Chen Xing glanced and saw that the wine glass was almost empty, but one of his hands was held, so he could only pour the wine with the other hand.
As he was pouring the wine, he heard the other side slowly say: "...That's great."
"What?" Chen Xing paused, looked up blankly, and met Xia Huanming's eyes.
Those phoenix eyes were exceptionally bright in the night, so gentle that they almost drowned him.
He felt the warmth coming from his wrist again, and there was a slight smile in the other person's voice.
"That's great, you grew up well, so we were able to meet for the first time at the premiere and meet again here."
Chen Xing was stunned for a moment, and the corners of his mouth unconsciously raised a slight arc.
“Squeak——” “Squeak——”
In the woods under the rooftop, the chirping of cicadas came and went.
Chen Xing's gaze passed over the low fence and fell on the swaying shadows of trees in the distance.
"Ah Huan," he whispered, "it's summer again."
In the summer of 2020, there will definitely be a hot wind like the one six years ago——
The wind at the end of June will bring the lush branches and leaves of the banyan trees, which are so green that they come with no room for maneuver.
Scattered lights hit the edge of the fence, the green cicadas were chirping as loudly as ever, and the flip-flops couldn't block the residual warmth from the ground.
That was the first time they met.
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