Chapter 36 "What if I really want to kiss him?..."
Tang Ci paused, her ears burning from the heat: "...You can't call me that."
Sheng Yu smiled and asked, "Then who can call?"
Tang Ci pursed her lips, then relaxed them: "Only elders can."
"I'm sorry." Sheng Yu lowered her eyes and sincerely apologized, then said without warning, "It's too late, you can sleep here tonight."
The heat from her ears instantly spread throughout her body, and Tang Ci looked around the room with embarrassment.
There is only this one bed.
Her throat was parched, and she stammered, "W-W-Will I sleep...here?"
Tang Ci looked at the neatly made bed and hurriedly looked away.
Sheng Yu released his hand from her waist, and while saying "Mmm," he raised his chin towards the study: "There's a rest room behind the study, I'm going to sleep."
Tang Ci thought of the scene that night in the small hotel, when he was curled up on the cramped sofa to sleep, and quickly took two steps back: "I'll go sleep in the lounge, you don't need to go."
Sheng Yu rubbed his injured shoulder, raised an eyebrow and smiled: "Feeling sorry for me?"
Tang Ci was stunned for a moment, her pale lips pressed together until they turned a watery red: "It's just politeness. I'm just a guest, I can't take over someone else's place."
Sheng Yu hooked her ankle with her toe: "Tang Ci, given our relationship, you should feel sorry for her, right?"
Tang Ci's eyes widened: "What...what's our relationship?"
Sheng Yu rested his elbows on his knees, looked up and met her gaze closely: "Tell me, what is our relationship?"
Tang Ci swallowed hard and looked away: "...Classmate relationship."
Sheng Yu twitched the corner of his mouth slightly, his fingertips idly tugging at the zipper of her coat. "Wrong."
Tang Ci's coat was being pulled back and forth by him, the collar gently rubbing against her neck, making her feel a little itchy, and her face also felt hot.
She held onto her coat to stop Sheng Yu from causing trouble, and whispered, "There's nothing wrong with that."
Sheng Yu released his hand, his palm lazily resting on the edge of the bed: "We're deskmates."
Tang Ci reminded, "It won't be the same next semester."
Sheng Yu's expression froze for a moment, then she said, "You remember it so clearly, no wonder you're a top student."
Tang Ci scratched her earlobe sheepishly: "A good memory is the foundation of good grades."
"..." Sheng Yu pulled the blanket over himself and lay down on the bed: "Going to sleep."
The overhead light clearly illuminated his sharp jawline and indifferent expression. He must have been tired. Tang Ci thoughtfully turned off the light for him when she left.
/
It snowed again before the start of the school year, and the few days when the snow melted coincided with the first mock exam for senior high school students.
The seating arrangement had already been changed on the day of the report. Sheng Yu was still sitting in her original seat at a single table, while Tang Ci moved to the second row by the window, and Jiang Chan became her deskmate as she wished.
Before the exam, Tang Ci was worried about Sheng Yu's grades, fearing that he would forget the knowledge he had learned before, and also that he would not study seriously. Therefore, during the entire evening self-study session, she secretly monitored Sheng Yu's study status during the breaks when she was discussing problems with Jiang Chan.
She frowned whenever he spoke and nodded whenever he turned the pages of a book. After spying on him like this for two classes, she received a note from Sheng Yu during the third class.
Jiang Chan curiously leaned closer: "Sheng Yu actually knows how to play these kinds of tricks on girls, let's see what he says?"
Tang Ci felt guilty, but Jiang Chan was waiting eagerly, so she had no choice but to open the note.
Sheng Yulong's elegant and unrestrained handwriting was prominently displayed before the two of them.
"What did you see?"
Tang Ci'er's face flushed red instantly. She crumpled the paper ball in her palm, trying to destroy the evidence.
"What do you mean by 'peeping'?" Jiang Chan asked, confused. "You peeped at him?"
Tang Ci shook her head: "How could that be? I am..."
She pressed her neck: "Move your neck a bit."
Jiang Chan said "Oh," and said worriedly, "Then you should explain it to him, so he doesn't misunderstand that you're a peeping tom."
"...Never mind."
Tang Ci sat down silently and didn't turn her face away again for the rest of the time.
What you think about during the day, you dream about at night.
That night, Tang Ci dreamed that Sheng Yu had handed in a blank exam paper. She woke up in the middle of the night with a start, hugged her blanket for a while, and then fell back asleep.
After what happened that night, when Tang Ci went to school the next day, her eyes were slightly bluish, and she drifted to the examination hall in a daze, not even noticing people passing by her.
As Tang Ci passed through the middle section of the most crowded corridor, she suddenly felt her arm tighten. She looked up in surprise and saw Sheng Yu raising his eyebrows and glancing at her.
"Didn't you hear me calling you?"
Tang Ci said slowly, "I wasn't paying attention."
Sheng Yu hummed in agreement: "Have you had breakfast?"
As he said this, he hadn't let go yet, and Tang Ci noticed the stares that the surrounding classmates were casting at them.
She awkwardly pulled her arm away and said in a low, quick voice, "I've eaten. I'm going to the exam hall now."
Sheng Yu sensed the tension in her voice, so he loosened his grip, but didn't let go immediately. He slipped a note into her palm with his fingertips before finally letting go completely.
The edge of the paper scratched her palm, as if it were tickling her heart. Tang Ci clenched her fingertips slightly and carefully opened it after sitting down.
Sheng Yu wrote two words on the note in a more restrained handwriting than last night: "Don't worry."
Tang Ci admitted that Sheng Yu had this kind of magic; just two simple words made her worries vanish in an instant.
The results were announced the day after the exam. Sheng Yu's ranking in the grade did not drop; in fact, it rose by five places.
The other students in the class also basically maintained their original grades.
It's the final sprint stage, and the mock exam questions are quite difficult. Being able to stabilize your scores under these circumstances is undoubtedly a reassuring thing.
When Teacher Xu came to the class during break to announce the school anniversary gala, his usually serious face was full of smiles.
"Everyone did very well in the mock exam. The school will hold an anniversary gala on Saturday, so everyone can relax and be in better shape for the college entrance exam!"
Mr. Xu's official speech won a round of applause. The students, who had finally managed to briefly escape the tension of the exam, excitedly banged on the table.
"Alright—" Old Xu patted the blackboard with a smile: "We can't just join in the fun. Those with talents should come out and show off their skills."
The arts and culture committee member immediately mentioned the names of several art students, but they all sighed and complained about being too tired.
Seeing that no one had signed up, Song Ke volunteered: "I can sign up to play guitar and sing."
Old Xu's eyes lit up: "Look at that squad leader, he's so conscientious."
Sitting behind Song Ke, Jiang Chan patted him on the back, her tone full of surprise: "Class monitor, you can also play guitar and sing?"
Song Ke turned around: "He taught himself in private, so he doesn't play very well."
Jiang Chan clicked her tongue and said, "The class monitor is just too modest. She must play very well, otherwise why would she volunteer?"
Tang Ci snapped out of her daze and cheered, praising, "It's impressive that you can study on your own."
Song Ke glanced at Tang Ci and smiled, "Then when I go on stage, can you two cheer me on?"
"Of course!" Jiang Chan grabbed Tang Ci's arm. "Given your relationship with Xiao Ci, you definitely have to go and do your best."
The students in the class gathered in twos and threes to discuss the topic, and since it was during break time, their voices were quite loud.
Suddenly remembering something, Old Xu raised his voice to the last row and asked, "Sheng Yu, I remember you can play the piano, right? How about signing up for a performance?"
Sheng Yu turned her gaze away from the front row and tapped the table with her pen.
Before he could speak, Zhou Yiyang interjected, "He can. He's a Grade 8 pianist and can play any popular pieces."
His deskmate nudged him in surprise and whispered, "Doesn't Sheng Yu never participate in school activities?"
Zhou Yiyang said with a mysterious expression, "People change."
His deskmate didn't believe him and was about to turn around and ask Sheng Yu when he heard Sheng Yu's impatient voice from behind: "Fine."
His deskmate stared wide-eyed at Zhou Yiyang: "?!"
Zhou Yiyang shrugged and smiled nonchalantly.
/
The anniversary of her mother's death fell on a Friday, and Tang Ci took the afternoon off to visit her mother's grave.
The cemetery is located in the suburbs of Nanling City, and it took Tang Ci nearly two hours to get there.
Following the rows of tombstones, Tang Ci found Jiang Jing's tombstone. The black and white photo on the tombstone was a bit old, and Jiang Jing's gentle and serene face had also faded somewhat.
Tang Ci reached out and wiped the dust off the photo, put down the flowers in her arms, and then took out the snacks that Jiang Jing liked from her schoolbag and arranged them one by one.
Every year on this day, Tang Ci tells Jiang Jing about what happened at school that year, but most of it is unremarkable, and she doesn't even know what else to say to Jiang Jing besides her grades.
This year is different; she has come to know Sheng Yu anew, but her health is gradually declining.
“Mom,” Tang Ci squatted down, hugging her aching knees, and looked at Jiang Jing in the photo: “How did you spend the year before you left?”
Jiang Jing looked at her with eyes crinkled, her gaze as gentle and comforting as it had been in her memory.
When Tang Ci was a child, she always thought that her mother died suddenly. Now she realizes that this was not the case at all. In the year she passed away, Jiang Jing's smile concealed countless moments of despair and pain.
But Jiang Jing never mentioned it, fearing that Tang Ci, who had just started elementary school, would be frightened.
Now Tang Ci understands that illness is like walking along a cliff in the dead of night; a slight misstep could send you plunging into an abyss.
Kidney transplant surgery is like a rope falling from a great height; Jiang Jing couldn't grab it, and she might not be able to either.
Tang Ci tried to ignore the headache caused by the complications and asked very softly, "Mom, if I fulfill all my wishes, can I come to see you earlier?"
When she returned to school, it was right after school let out in the afternoon. Jiang Chan invited her to eat noodles outside the school via WeChat. Tang Ci waited for her downstairs in the teaching building after entering the school gate.
A large number of people poured out of the main gate of the teaching building in one go, mingling with the few students coming out of the auditorium across the street, and those who knew each other greeted each other.
"Brother Yu, have you finished rehearsing?"
Jin Ming's loud voice attracted Tang Ci's attention. She looked up and glanced around, and saw Sheng Yu standing outside the auditorium across the street.
He was wearing an indigo blue windbreaker, which stood out conspicuously against the red exterior of the auditorium.
Perhaps because he had just come out of an air-conditioned room, his cool skin had a touch of color, and his dark pupils shone like stars.
Standing to the side, Zheng Shuyao's down jacket was open, revealing a ballet costume that accentuated her exquisite figure. She held up the sheet music in her hand in front of Sheng Yu and said something.
Jin Ming and Zhou Yiyang also joined in, their movements so exaggerated that they pushed Sheng Yu next to Zheng Shuyao.
Sheng Yu lazily lifted his eyes, moved to the side, and arrogantly pretended to kick his two impetuous friends.
Jin Ming pulled Zhou Yiyang away to hide, and the group laughed and joked. Zheng Shuyao covered her lips and smiled shyly, her eyes fixed on Sheng Yu.
This vibrant scene attracted the attention of many, with most people looking at Sheng Yu.
After all, very few people have seen such a vibrant side of him.
Tang Ci stood at the secluded corner of the stairs, looked around for a while, then looked away. But she couldn't find anything else to do, so she just stared blankly at the toes of the shoes.
As Jiang Chan walked out of the teaching building, she was also attracted by the scene across the street. She kept turning her head to look as she grabbed Tang Ci's arm: "You don't know yet, do you? In order to save time, Lao Xu combined Sheng Yu and Zheng Shuyao's performance into one. The music teacher just called them to the auditorium to rehearse during self-study period."
Tang Ci hummed in agreement and then followed Jiang Chan's gaze toward the auditorium.
But she met Sheng Yu's gaze directly.
Noticing that his lips moved, Tang Ci turned her face away and tugged at Jiang Chan's wrist: "Let's go."
Sheng Yu frowned and looked away only after Tang Ci's figure was obscured by the crowd.
Noticing that Sheng Yu's expression was off, Zheng Shuyao asked softly, "Sheng Yu, what's wrong?"
With his hands in his pockets, Sheng Yu asked her casually, "What would you do if someone avoided you?"
Zheng Shuyao's face suddenly turned red. She thought Sheng Yu was implying that she was being ungrateful for getting close to him again and again, but thinking that she was about to graduate, she still boldly said, "If it's an important person, I will go after them and ask."
Sheng Yu curled her lips into a smile: "Me too."
After saying that, he waved his hand and left briskly.
Looking at his tall, straight back, Zheng Shuyao suddenly felt a pang of sadness. She realized that Sheng Yu had no romantic feelings for her whatsoever.
/
Before the noodles were even served, Tang Ci received a text message from Sheng Yu.
Want to chat?
Tang Ci stopped disassembling the chopsticks, considered for a moment, and then replied: "Is there something you need?"
Can't we chat if there's nothing wrong?
Tang Ci sensed his unfriendly tone and could only reply, "Sure."
Come find me on the playground after you finish eating.
【oh. 】
Tang Ci ate her bowl of noodles with a heavy heart.
Sheng Yu had never asked her to have a private chat before. She thought about it and couldn't think of anything else that the two of them needed to talk about besides tutoring.
Tang Ci's heart inexplicably began to swell, and her nervousness reached its peak when she saw Sheng Yu leaning against the ball hoop on the playground.
From a distance, Tang Ci saw a few boys standing scattered on the court, dribbling the ball and talking; on the track outside the court, groups of students were strolling.
At this time, even a stray cat passing by would attract everyone's attention.
Tang Ci took out her phone, intending to ask Sheng Yu if they could go somewhere else, when suddenly her name was called from behind.
She turned her head and saw Song Ke running towards her with promotional materials in his arms.
"Tang Ci, you're finally back?"
Tang Ci shook her head: "I came back after school and just had dinner with Xiao Chan."
Song Ke tossed the thick stack of documents upwards, saying, "You guys have fun, I'm going to the auditorium."
Tang Ci glanced at the crowd on the playground and thought that they would be going back to the teaching building in a little while, so it wouldn't be too late for her to go to the playground to find Sheng Yu later.
She quickly sent a message to Sheng Yu on her phone: "Could you please wait a moment? I'm delivering some materials for the class monitor."
Putting away her phone, Tang Ci took a stack of documents from Song Ke's arms: "I'll deliver them for you."
Song Ke paused for a moment, then said awkwardly, "Aren't you going for a walk with Jiang Chan?"
Jiang Chan simply offered to take a share: "Let's do it together then."
Song Ke smiled and said, "Thank you for your help."
"No trouble at all." A cold, sharp voice appeared out of nowhere, and the stack of documents in Tang Ci's hand was returned to Song Ke's hands.
The three of them turned around at the same time and saw Sheng Yu approaching at some point, glancing at them indifferently. Ignoring Tang Ci's stunned expression, he put his arm around her shoulder and pulled her to his side: "Sorry, I made an appointment with her in advance."
He lowered his eyes towards Song Ke's chest and said, "I'll have to trouble you to deliver it yourself."
Song Ke paused for a second, then asked Tang Ci, "Is that so?"
Tang Ci lowered her eyes in shame: "Yes..."
There was an eerie silence among the four of them for a few seconds. Jiang Chan pushed Song Ke's back and walked towards the auditorium, saying, "It's alright, it's alright. You two can go and talk if you have something to say. The class monitor and I will see you off."
Once Jiang Chan and Song Ke had walked away, Tang Ci cleared her throat and asked, "Where shall we go to talk?"
Sheng Yu paid no attention to the gazes of those around him, raised his chin toward the playground, and walked toward the track.
Tang Ci had no choice but to follow. When she jogged to his side, Sheng Yu took out a bottle of milk from his coat pocket and handed it to her casually.
"Thank you." Tang Ci accepted it with both hands; it was still warm.
She inserted a straw, drank her milk, and mumbled, "What do you want to talk about?"
Sheng Yu lowered his eyes, stared at her for a few seconds with an inscrutable expression, and when he looked away, his Adam's apple bobbed: "Studying is stressful, let's just chat."
Tang Ci nodded and said "Oh," recalling the inspirational quotes she had found online that she found helpful, and patiently explained them to him one by one.
"Don't think about your grades, just focus on doing the problems."
"If you really can't concentrate on studying, go out with friends for a while and relax completely. This can help you get into a study mindset."
"Also, you can try meditation before bed..."
………
Unbeknownst to them, the two walked to the darkest western side of the playground. Outside the track stood a row of tall sycamore trees, and in the shadows of the trees, they could vaguely see young couples on dates.
If you listen carefully, you can even hear the intimate sounds of water during a kiss.
Tang Ci stopped talking, biting her straw and lowering her head.
Just as he was secretly struggling with the straw, Sheng Yu suddenly pinched the back of his neck lightly.
Tang Ci looked up in alarm and asked in a soft voice, "What's wrong?"
Sheng Yu bent down with his back to the light, and when his eyes met hers, Tang Ci felt his thumb pinch her lips hard.
Thump-thump, her heart pounding in her throat, Tang Ci stammered and took a step back, "What are you going to do?"
Sheng Yu straightened up: "There's milk on your lips."
Tang Ci's mind was a complete blank, and without thinking, she murmured, "I thought..."
As soon as she said it, she immediately bit her tongue and swallowed the rest of the sentence.
Sheng Yu narrowed his eyes, his smile alluring: "You thought I was going to kiss you?"
Tang Ci opened her mouth in silence, squeezing out a few words from her throat: "...I didn't."
Sheng Yu didn't expose her obvious lie, and said with a half-serious smile, "What if I really wanted to kiss you?"
Tang Ci froze completely, her hands and feet feeling like they weren't her own, no matter how she positioned them, it was wrong.
Finally, she twisted her fingers together tightly, and a sliver of reason returned to her: "You can't do this... We're classmates."
Sheng Yu's gaze swept over her reddened earlobes, then he bowed again, lifted her chin with his fingertips, and stared at her with his dark pupils: "Tang Ci, do you want to reconsider our relationship?"
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