Chapter 99 Does “She” Exist? It turns out this is called longing…
This is an extremely cruel restriction.
The fake Yoko Village is too real. Even though it is fake, it still has a sense of pain and all the feelings in reality.
The cold wind blew across Vifiya's face, as if it was the coolness of snowflakes drifting on her face. She was in a trance in the rippling waves, and she caught a glimpse of a corner that she had seen with her own eyes.
Snow covers the rolling mountains, and there is a quiet frontier village with land that is not too barren, a small church that is not gorgeous but still carefully cleaned, and a small cemetery next to it, where the villagers' family, friends and lovers who they once missed day and night live.
On an ordinary evening, the few children in the village gathered together to play and pestered the traveler from the big city-state, asking her to tell them about the fun of the big city-state.
The sound of clanging can be heard from the blacksmith shop every day, and the tavern often gathers farmers returning from work.
Women were busy cooking over the wood stove, and girls were adjusting their graying headscarves, looking forward to their evening dates with their lovers in the village square.
Hannah stared at the traveler surrounded by the noisy children, looked up at the sky, jumped off the haystack, ran to the children's perimeter, put her hands on her hips, and shouted, "Alright!"
The children stopped their chattering. Hannah squeezed into the circle and stood in front of the traveler. "Okay, Sister Vifiya and I are going home for dinner. Everyone, disperse."
The children were inevitably disappointed, and one pleaded, "Please wait a little longer, Hannah."
"no!"
Hannah refused righteously: "You don't want Sister Vifiya to starve, do you?"
The little girl with pigtails raised her head and asked timidly, "Sister Vifiya, will you tell us stories tomorrow?"
Their pupils are so pure, flowing with the clear stream of hope and thirst for knowledge.
After receiving a positive answer, it was like the waves of the sea slowly spreading out.
"Hannah, why don't you listen to the story together? Aren't you curious about life in the big city?"
"Hmph~" Hannah raised her head, "I'm different from you. I've heard it all."
Under the envious gazes of her friends, Hannah took Vifia's hand and walked towards home. Soft snowflakes fell on their intertwined hands and quickly melted.
The two figures, one tall and one short, gradually became clearer, then blurred, and finally broken in the fluttering snowflakes.
"Sister Vifiya, is there really any candy in the Great City State that's more beautiful than Shutangbing? Is it more beautiful than Yoko Village?"
"Hannah, you can feel it for yourself, you can see it for yourself."
"Well, I want to go with grandma."
The little girl said this hopefully.
The bright silver in the sky drowned out the two figures on the country road, the entire village of Yoko, and Vifia's memories.
How would she answer Arnold's question? How would she protect them all? How would she fulfill Hannah's request? She suppressed the sadness in her eyes.
Fake Yoko Village.
Their deceased family members are here, their departed friends are here, their loved ones are here in their memories.
Unlike the real but dilapidated Yoko Village, everything here is still so beautiful, and it is still their familiar hometown.
Should they return to reality and endure the despair of losing everything, or should they stay here, in this fake Yoko Village, embrace their loved ones, hang out with friends, and when the more powerful Quishili is born, Yoko Village and everyone else will perish together.
Embrace true death.
Vifia didn't move. She shouldn't have hesitated. Hannah's sobs seemed to still echo in her ears, as she prayed that she could save the remaining people in Yoko Village.
She should do the same.
She should think about how to return to reality as quickly as possible and prevent the birth of the powerful Quishili in the fastest way.
If she couldn't find another way, how could she convince all the villagers of Yoko Village to kill herself?
Let the dead experience the bitter death again, and let their loved ones and friends watch them die again in front of them.
This is unfair to everyone, and it is too cruel to everyone.
And would what she considered to be salvation be just as cruel to the survivors of Yoko Village as the person who set this limit?
Save those who are determined to die, persuade them to live, live painfully, and tell them that they must have hope, and they must live on with the share of their deceased loved ones.
It's too unreal.
Pull those who have lost hope back into this world that causes them pain, the root cause of their despair.
Doesn't she know their feelings best?
Not everyone has the courage to live. Even Vifiya herself doesn't dare to say that she has it. After all, at the beginning, when she first met Vifiya, she was just an ordinary person who was cowardly and at a loss when facing Vifiya's teasing.
She also went through a phase where she tried to kill herself.
It wasn't quite empathy, but there was some subtle overlap, which made Vifia feel that this matter was almost unsolvable.
Because she's not the only one here.
Her eyes unconsciously fell on Osa and the others.
And, them.
The look in Vifiya's eyes after she fell silent made them stunned for a moment. Her gaze was on them, but it seemed not to be on them. They were clearly within their sight, clearly just a few steps away, but it was as if she was separated by a transparent film that they could not see, and she was trapped and struggling.
And they could only watch her from outside the film, watching her, she was in two separate worlds from them.
This was not the first time they had this feeling, but every time before, Vifiya would take the initiative to break it, as if this thin film had never existed.
She didn't seem to be aware of this thin film.
Vifiya blinked slowly with her thick eyelashes. She could kill herself without hesitation. She knew this very well. She understood her emotions in this regard better than anyone else. She didn't care. She could die many times, no matter how many times. She was used to it anyway.
Anyway, when she opened her eyes, she would still see the familiar roof of her bedroom in the Marquis of Casely's Mansion.
But Osa and the others are different, the villagers of Yoko Village are different, they...
"Vifiya." A voice neither too loud nor too soft brought her back to her senses, and her dilated pupils gradually focused on the person who made the voice.
Isidore couldn't help calling her name. It was almost a stubborn instinct that forced him to interrupt the silence. He couldn't leave her alone in silence any longer.
He took a step forward, seemingly one step closer to Vifiya, but the voice in his heart told him that it was not enough, that feeling had not disappeared, that strange feeling, a feeling he did not like.
"Tell me your concerns." I will do whatever it takes to make it happen.
Isidore repelled the emotion surrounding Vifia from the bottom of his heart. He was eager to grab that thing and throw it away from her!
He could never hide his emotions in front of Vifiya. He had no experience of having to hide his emotions. The heartbeat he used to feel and the emotions generated by her disappeared without a trace again when she left.
During the days when she was away, he had no chance to learn to hide his emotions. She said that they would meet again, but no one remembered her except him and Sally, no one.
He often watched the sunset alone because she had smiled there, although he did not understand why she smiled at such an ordinary scene.
His heart was tightened by a strange thread, and he didn't know how to describe the feeling.
When Vifiya was not in his mind, he felt a subtle numbness. When Vifiya appeared in his mind, he found that once he pulled out a little trace of her in his memory, just a little bit, his mind would only have Vifiya's smile, Vifiya's voice, Vifiya's face, everything Vifiya had experienced with him, everything about her, everything he knew.
Every time this happened, it felt like something was gnawing at his whole body. The strange silk thread seemed to have gone mad, tightly tightening his heart, as if he was sinking into the deep sea, unable to breathe... It was such a strange feeling.
Later, after an unknown amount of time, he learned a word in the book, and he finally understood the feeling that had been bothering him for a long time. That feeling was called missing.
It turns out that it was missing him. It turned out that he had been missing Vifiya. Then, would Vifiya miss him?
The answer is no.
She said she wouldn't remember him.
He wanted her to remember him. If she remembered him, would she feel the same way as he did?
Little Isidore sat on a small wooden stool in a daze, but this feeling was not good. She should stop missing him and let him miss her.
Until he saw her again for the first time, he was eager to know whether she remembered him.
do you remember me?
He seemed to still want her to miss him a little bit.
He knew the answer to the question without even asking it. Her expression said it all, an expression she had never shown him before.
She doesn't remember him.
At that time, he was still a little stubborn, trying to prove that she still remembered him from every little detail, just like studying magic.
But one night, he happened to remember the feeling that he had deliberately put aside and didn't want to remember, because of a word from Kaharun.
He asked: "Since 'she' exists, why doesn't 'she' appear again?"
Yes, why? In a strange and rare way, he seemed to understand what Kaharun meant.
Does "she" exist?
Did "she" ever exist?
If it existed, why did they have to choose that way to say goodbye, and why didn't they tell him when they would meet again?
An even more terrifying emotion spread, and this time he knew what it was; he had read about it in a book; it was panic.
No! Yes! She exists! She simply exists! He remembers! The teacher remembers too! He's not the only one who remembers!
Although, other people who had seen her did not remember her and there was no trace of her left.
…
It doesn’t matter whether she remembers him or not. What matters is that she exists, he sees her, she didn’t lie to him, and she still smiles at him. That’s enough.
Isidore looked at Vifia, who was standing not far away and finally felt a little bit real on the snow. He hid his uneasiness awkwardly. He simply felt that he could not give her this feeling.
Please, tell me, what can I do?
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