83 Struggle
I was the one who killed him.
In the Huang Mansion Ancestral Hall, Huang Song was taken back and given a family scolding. He was already injured and took the risk of going to find Fu Tao despite his illness. Now both of them were captured.
It's okay for her, but Huang Song is probably going to suffer.
Huang Yun told others that he was engaged, but anyone could see that it was just a pretense. The girl he was going to marry was the second daughter of the Minister of Rites. Her reputation had just been affected by the women in her family. She was a noble lady and was more than qualified to marry a prince, but because they were in a hurry to deal with her, she was given to Huang Song.
This young lady was born with a beautiful appearance and was proficient in all arts, such as music, chess, calligraphy and painting. She was well-known in the circle of ladies in the capital. The elders of both families were very optimistic about this marriage.
However, the person involved did not care about this matter and was even very disgusted with it. He thought it was just a casual remark to make Fu Tao give up, but he didn't expect it to be true.
For this reason, he returned home and refused to eat or drink for days. Mrs. Huang tried to persuade him many times, but he remained unmoved, refusing to eat no matter what she said. Huang Yun was a seasoned shrew, prioritizing the family's interests above all else. He would never enter into a business that would lose money, and most of his children's marriages were designed to benefit the family.
Huang Song was the eldest son of the eldest house and had a heavy responsibility on his shoulders. People had high hopes for him since he was young and he had been studying hard to become an official. However, he was so angry that he got married when he was almost twenty years old.
If the eldest son is like this, how can he set an example for his younger brothers and sisters and help them have a good future?
Huang Yun could no longer get angry with her son. These past few days, she had been angry and unable to sleep well. Now she had no energy to deal with him anymore.
He threw the food box hard to the ground, scaring the servants outside the door. They had the impression that the master never got so angry, and he was really pissed off by the young master.
"If you want to eat, then eat. If you don't, I'll starve you to death. Anyway, I can't cancel the marriage I arranged for you. Don't even think about it!"
Huang Song dragged his bruised legs and staggered to his feet, wanting to argue with him. "You found a girl for no reason, which hurt me, the princess, and her too! I don't care about promotion or wealth, but you've been forcing me. I wouldn't agree to get married even if I starved to death. Even if you don't mind looking bad, I don't mind either!"
Huang Yun couldn't understand why his son, who had always been the most filial, had changed in the past few months. Perhaps his words and deeds had failed miserably, and now his most beloved son was trying to tear out his heart.
He couldn't find any more persuasive words to say to Huang Song. Feeling helpless yet heartbroken, he pulled a chair and sat nearby. "You're my biological son, my eldest son! How could you say such outrageous things? Why do you think you've been so successful in your career? Because you have a father who's the Minister of State and a mother who's a noblewoman from the royal family!"
This is true. Without the support of his family, if Huang Song was just a poor kid from a small family, he would never have achieved what he has today.
It is even more impossible to disobey parents like this.
He laughed at his stubborn look. All his pride did not belong to him, but because he enjoyed his current environment, he really thought he was superior to others.
"Who are you, Huang Song? If you weren't born into a family like this, do you think you could have achieved the good reputation you have today? You are nothing! Born into a family like this, you can't do whatever you want. The future honor and disgrace of the family will be on your shoulders. And you actually fell in love with the princess. It's really shameful for me, my old face!"
Huang Song's eyes were firm, and his tone was extremely cold as he said, "I'm really disappointed Father. I will not marry that woman, even if it means death. I am not a tool for you to consolidate the power of the family!"
Huang Yun looked at his son and suddenly felt a little more respect for him. He usually seemed gentle and weak, not fighting or competing, but he could be so stubborn at times. He had to admit that this son was not bad, but he just didn't know how to deal with the situation. He needed to be locked up for a few days to wake him up.
"You have guts. You are worthy of being a descendant of the Huang family. Then you can starve. If you are not afraid of losing face, I will sacrifice my old face and lose it with you. Let the whole capital laugh at our family!"
After saying this, he turned away and left, still locking Huang Song in the ancestral hall. This time, he sent more people, so no matter how he planned, he could not escape.
Mrs. Huang was worried about her son and had been waiting outside the ancestral hall. She listened to the two quarreling and burst into tears several times, but she didn't dare to let anyone hear. "Master, please let Song'er come out. There's no such thing as a father and son holding grudges overnight, Master. He's your own son!"
Huang Yun glared at her fiercely and pushed her aside. "A loving mother often spoils her son. It's you who made him so lawless!"
A mother and her child are connected by heart. While a future is certainly important, a child is the flesh and blood of their mother. She still hopes that both children can be happy and comfortable. "Song'er and the princess are already in love. How can you, as a father, be so overbearing?"
She had huge disagreements with Huang Yun on this matter and they had argued about it several times.
"Instead, it's my fault. Not letting him marry the princess is for his own good! If he dares to elope, what else can't he do?"
Huang Song was imprisoned for a few days, and Fu Tao's life was not easy either. Someone brought her food every day and came to check on her every two hours, for fear that something might happen to her.
It was two quarters past noon, time for lunch again. "Your Highness, it's time to eat." The little palace maid pushed the door open and came in.
I saw Fu Tao sitting in front of the window with her hair loose. The window was open and a cold wind blew in. I don't know how long she had been sitting in this drafty place.
The little palace maid put the meal aside and waited obediently for instructions.
Fu Tao looked up at her and asked, "What's your name?"
"My name is Fanzhi." The little palace maid replied.
"How old are you?"
"fifteen."
"Younger than me," she thought thoughtfully. Seeing someone so young entering the palace to serve others, and then thinking about her own situation, she felt deeply moved. "Do you have any men outside the palace that you care about, or any men with similar interests?"
"No," Fan Zhi shook her head, "My family is poor, I have never been in contact with any men, I only know a few words."
There were two main reasons for entering the palace as a maid. One was the dream of climbing the social ladder, but even if they weren't favored, becoming a concubine was still considered a step up from humble beginnings. The other was that their family was poor, and they had no other choice but to enter the palace to waste their youth. After all, it was a stable and secure job, and every penny earned in the palace was worth more than a year's wealth in the countryside.
She is clearly the second type.
"If your parents offered you twenty taels of gold to marry you off to an old man they had never met, what would you think?"
For a child from a poor family marrying out of wedlock, survival is the most important thing. When you're well fed, you think you're going to marry. She couldn't even afford to eat, so having a hot meal was good enough. She didn't have time to think about whether she was willing or not.
Fan Zhi smiled bitterly and said, "My family doesn't care about these things. If I can get money to spend, let alone gold, I will marry you even if it's land or cattle."
Fu Tao had thought that many people would sympathize with her, but today, she hadn't expected that to happen. "Then am I being too ungrateful to make things difficult for my brother?"
Fan Zhi knelt down, lowered her head and dared not speak, "I dare not say anything!"
Fu Tao sighed, "You have your own difficulties, but if you were in the same situation as me, would you marry into a foreign marriage?"
People who are in the same situation as her and live a hard life would never dare to imagine what life is like for the local tycoons and wealthy families, let alone being a princess of a country. It is probably impossible for them to even dream of it.
"Marriage has always been arranged by parents and matchmakers. It's not like a girl can make her own decisions. I will do whatever my parents ask me to do. I am here to take care of the princess. The princess is the master. I will answer whatever you ask."
She was right. This was how a woman's life was. When she was married, she obeyed her father. When she was no longer married, she obeyed her husband. When her husband died, she obeyed her son. If she had no father, she obeyed her uncle. It was never her turn to make her own decisions.
Comparing the two, Fu Tao felt even more guilty and didn't know what to do.
She said calmly, "Put down the food and go out."
The air outside the window grows thicker, and the withered yellow leaves drift in the autumn wind. Looking at them quietly, they seem to be tinged with a layer of melancholy. Autumn always has a bleak feeling, making people realize the passage of time. Year after year, I look at the yellow leaves outside the window, but I have never felt as sad as I do now.
"Why did my pursuit of my own happiness turn out like this? Shouldn't Xinwei and I be together? I've been messing around these days, and it must be very difficult for my brother, but I'm a princess."
Feeling melancholy about the passing of time is probably something only people like her who live a comfortable life would experience.
She could never understand why a princess should be a tool for marriage and shouldn't have her own ideas. This matter even implicated Rong Qianyu.
This body and this identity were never meant to be hers, and this was the fate of Canary.
Fallen leaves have a destination to return to their roots, but she will be trapped in this cage until her death.
If they were just an ordinary family, Huang Song could come and propose marriage, and their parents would definitely agree, but that would have to happen in the next life.
"I killed him."
The future she had longed for was now shattered, and all her hopes had turned into an unattainable mist.
In the cold and silent room, she did not wash or groom herself, but sat alone looking at the yellow leaves outside the window. She had already lost all hope in her heart, and the air was filled with a sense of depression and despair.
The storybook says that overcoming difficulties will lead to a happy ending, but that's all bullshit. My efforts are in vain. I have been fighting against my brother the emperor for a long time, but I have never received any reward.
She felt exhausted, and her inner struggle and confusion made her feel at a loss as to where to start. She just wanted to win the heart of one person and stay together until old age, but it was so difficult.
She took out her hairpin and fiercely slashed her fair wrist. Blood immediately flowed out, leaving a shocking wound. At this moment, there seemed to be no pain, only relief. She really wanted to be free, perhaps this way she could leave this palace after death.
She was a weak person and could only think of this way to end it all.
In the Empress Dowager's bedroom in the afternoon, the roar of a palace maid broke the comfortable afternoon time, "Your Majesty, Your Majesty, Your Majesty, Your Majesty!"
The palace maid said she was specifically responsible for looking after Fu Tao.
"But Tao'er is in trouble!" Bai Yi was always afraid that something might happen to her when he saw her.
The palace maid said, "The eldest princess has committed suicide again!"
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