Chapter 88 Can We Still Be Friends?
Song Huaijin felt heartbroken after hearing this. He suddenly realized that his persistence in appearing in Lin Xi's life had actually caused trouble for her.
Lin Xi shook her head helplessly, "Now I finally understand why, according to legend, people drink Meng Po soup when they die and go to the underworld."
"Reincarnation with the memories of past lives is both a blessing and a misfortune."
During this month on the island, perhaps due to the mental stress, she dreamed of the scene before her death several times, and each time she woke up from the dream in a sweat.
Song Huaijin fell into a long silence. After a long while, he said in a hoarse voice: "You don't need to think about the past anymore. You are Lin Xi now, and you are only eighteen years old."
"Girls of your age should be carefree. You—in your previous life, you didn't really enjoy your youth. You were either doing research or going on missions. God gave you a second life, perhaps to make up for those shortcomings in your life."
Lin Xi looked at him quietly, "What you said makes sense. Many times, I think so too."
But some people and some things cannot be forgotten just like that, such as you.
Lin Xi said softly, "You shouldn't be in the research institute now."
"Now that you have a successful career, you should also manage your life well. After all, you will still be lonely if you are alone."
Song Huaijin heard something from these words. She still cared about him, but she didn't seem to have any intention of tying her life to his anymore.
He lowered his head in silence, and after a long time he slowly raised it, "I can't forget—" He was about to say "you", but paused and changed his words, "I can't forget Sister Xi.
"If I hadn't abandoned her and left at that time, she might not have died."
Lin Xi sighed, "So you've been feeling guilty all these years, right?"
Song Huaijin himself knew that he could not forget Sister Xi after all these years. Love was one aspect, but guilt was also another.
He lowered his eyes and said nothing.
Lin Xi didn't want to recall the scene of her death in her previous life.
That kind of pain and humiliation would make her tremble all over even if it appeared in her dreams.
She closed her eyes and whispered, "It's not your fault."
"I'm the leader of the operations team. I was the one who ordered you to evacuate first. You're all just following my orders."
"I have wind abilities, I'm very fast, and I can fly, so of course I should let you go first."
"Even if you stay, you'll just sacrifice one more person."
Song Huaijin suddenly became excited, "I do."
"I would have stayed there with you—no, with her."
Lin Xi looked at Song Huaijin gently and said softly, "Sometimes fate is beyond human control."
"You just told me not to dwell on the past. You should also get over your guilt as soon as possible."
"Leaving the Ability Research Institute is a good thing for you. You can completely forget the past. Your guilt is completely unnecessary and it's time to let it go."
Song Huaijin trembled slightly.
For him, letting go of guilt means forgetting the past, which means forgetting her.
It's not like he hasn't tried.
Over the past decade, when he was tortured by longing, regret, and guilt and unable to sleep, he had thought about forgetting her, but he couldn't do it.
A famous psychologist once told him that he could use hypnosis to seal away his painful memories. He thought about it for a long time and finally refused.
Only pain can make him feel that he is still alive.
However, at this moment, he realized more and more clearly that he could not give Lin Xi happiness.
If he insisted on being with her, based on her personality, she might agree, and she would treat him gently.
But that should not be out of love, but responsibility or pity.
He couldn't be so selfish. He suddenly thought that given Lin Xi's age, if they were really together, as an old man and a young wife, he might not be able to satisfy her physically or spiritually.
He noticed that Lin Xi sometimes still acted like an eighteen-year-old girl. The generation gap of thirty years was insurmountable. He didn't know what girls nowadays liked or disliked, and he couldn't even understand what they said.
A girl he sponsored who looked a bit like Lin Xi would often send him some videos that he couldn't understand, saying they were very funny and hoping that he would be happy watching them.
But he never knew what was so funny about those videos.
So, just let go, only let go.
Song Huaijin nodded in agreement with Lin Xi's words, "You're right, I should let it go."
After saying that, he looked at Lin Xi steadily, "I—can we still be friends in the future?"
Lin Xi smiled. "Of course, we used to be partners who could trust each other with life and death. This trust will not change with the passage of time."
She blinked. "We can still sneak out for a drink in the middle of the night like we used to."
When Song Huaijin saw her smile, he smiled sincerely.
He had prayed countless times, hoping that Sister Xi would survive.
Now that Sister Xi is alive, he should have nothing else to ask for, otherwise he would be too greedy.
All he should do is protect her smile and let her live a happy life.
As for the longing and love that he couldn't let go of, let him bear it silently. He had been bearing it for almost twenty years and he had long been accustomed to it.
He owed her this.
His tone became cheerful, as if he was very happy. "Then maybe one day I will really ask you out for a drink in the middle of the night. Don't refuse me."
Lin Xi smiled again, her smile was very innocent, like a real eighteen-year-old girl.
The girl's laughter was as clear and sweet as a silver bell.
Song Huaijin also felt truly happy.
"By the way, I bought you a house near Beijing University. If you are not used to living in a student dormitory, you can live there."
"The property deed and keys are in the car. I'll give them to you later."
Lin Xi looked at him helplessly, "You, why do this? I have no reason to accept your-"
Song Huaijin interrupted her, "Don't say there's no reason. This was originally your own property. You—no, after she passed away, the organization gave me all her property. It was with this money that I founded the Changfeng Group."
"You originally had two properties, but after all these years, one was demolished, and the other one—" He paused, "I live there now, so it's not convenient for me to return it to you."
"So, I bought you another large flat closer to school."
"If you like this villa, I'll transfer it to your name. If you don't like it, I'll ask someone to find a better one."
"As for the company's shares, I will transfer some of them to your name as soon as possible."
(End of this chapter)
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