Chapter 54 Fang Ke wants to break up with Shen
This time, Shen Ci Nian agreed, "Yeah."
"What if you feel uncomfortable? Do you want me to comfort you?"
"Hmm..." A muffled sound.
"Okay, I'll coax you." Shen Ci Nian took him out of the security bureau and took a slow walk outside. No matter how passers-by looked at him, Shen Ci Nian never let go of his hand.
Even though he wanted to break free.
This is how Shen Cinian coaxed him, and he was very good at it. He seemed to be a little happier.
This is what he wants, to always be on his side when he's outside, no matter if he's right or wrong.
but……
So what? He's an adult. He's an adult.
Not everything in this world can be obtained if you want it, and not everything you get can be kept.
He only has one month of free time left, no, actually only 23 days.
On the 23rd day, he suddenly wanted to put himself into a long dream and wake up on the last day.
Dreams will be beautiful.
…
Shen Cinian was not unaware.
Fang Ke suddenly became very clingy and liked to rely on him very much.
Chen Cinian soon discovered that Fang Ke seemed to have set some script for him, and he was immersed in the role and couldn't stop.
His eyes occasionally revealed a morbid attachment.
This is a disease. From a psychological point of view, it is called "delusional identification" or "derealization".
The moment Shen Cinian noticed it, he thought he should intervene.
But it was too late. Fang Ke firmly believed that he was the character he had created and even refused to acknowledge his real identity.
This was not without warning. Fang Ke had wanted to commit suicide several times. His pain from reality had reached a certain critical point. After suddenly coming into contact with beauty, he must have been unable to adapt at first.
He was unable to adapt, but there was a sense of urgency in his heart that forced him not to waste time adapting.
So he simply changed his identity, an identity that was not "Fang Ke", so that things would "just be the way they are" and he wouldn't have to adapt.
Before it happened, no one thought it would turn out like this.
If we continue to let it go, it is very likely to lead to the most dangerous possibility - split personality.
Shen Cinian is well aware of the terrible consequences of this. He tries to find the role that Fang Ke has replaced in Fang Ke's interpersonal network, but...
It seemed that the person Fang Ke was replacing was not a person, not a real "person".
He often stands somewhere, waiting or in a daze.
His eyes were always on Shen Qinian's heels.
At night, he would tiptoe from the guest room into the master bedroom, climb onto the bed, curl up at Shen Cinian's feet, and leave before dawn.
Fang Ke briefly turned himself into a good dog.
A real dog.
This was the conclusion Shen Cinian came to one night when he suddenly opened the door and saw Fang Ke crawling in the corridor.
Fang Ke didn't walk from the guest room to the master bedroom. He crawled here every night.
More than ten years of obsession eventually led to mental illness. Being a dog gave him a greater sense of security than being a human.
After successfully finding this fictional character, Shen Cinian took Fang Ke to the third floor, preparing to wake him up with a special "training".
At the "beginning" of the game, he would let Fang Ke enter the role of the puppy, then constantly give him psychological hints, and at the end, he would bring him out of the dual role with the instruction "It's over, you did a good job."
Not only the characters in the game are released, but also the characters designed by Fang Ke himself.
The idea was good, but something unexpected happened in the middle. During the game, Fang Ke woke up by himself.
The gentle look in his eyes turned cold in an instant. Fang Ke changed from kneeling to standing, took off all the props on his body, walked to the side to put on his clothes under Shen Cinian's gaze, and then went downstairs directly.
Bang--!
He slammed the guest room door shut.
Shen Cinian rubbed his brows and felt very tired for the first time.
He picked up the used items one by one, walked into the disinfection room on the third floor, and after disinfection, put those that should be put back in their places and threw away those that should be thrown away.
When Shen Qinian realized that Fang Ke was able to enter and exit the role freely and that it was Fang Ke himself who put himself into this dangerous mental state, he could not help but feel a surge of anger in his heart.
It was difficult to contain that kind of anger, and he almost persuaded himself to suppress it and not take action by saying "Don't accidentally kill Fang Ke".
It’s not that he can’t understand why Fang Ke did this, but... it’s too extreme and too crazy, which is absolutely not advisable.
He walked down and knocked on the door of the guest room: "Come out, let's talk."
Fang Ke locked the door and sat on the ground next to the door, his shoulders trembling slightly.
It's not accidental, it's not a whim, but...
From the very beginning he intended to give up his autonomous personality.
From the very beginning, he wanted to be completely dependent on someone. He wanted that person to lock him up at home, not let him go out, and not let him contact the outside world.
Does he want to be kept in captivity?
No.
He wanted to be imprisoned.
He wanted to be stripped of his personality and become a blank slate. This way his mind would be much calmer and he wouldn't have to think about this or that. The only thing he needed to consider was the person who was stripping him away.
Give all your eyes, attention, thoughts, everything, not just your body, but your entire soul to that person.
It was crazy, and he knew that these thoughts were dangerous and crazy, but so what?
Just like a few years ago, even though he knew that jumping off the building would be painful and might even kill him, he still jumped in front of Fang Jimin, as if it were some kind of stupid and incompetent protest.
After jumping, he was in so much pain that he was not very clear-headed. He only remembered grabbing a passerby's clothes and asking the person to take him away.
The final result was that Fang Jimin took him back from the hospital. After that, the two of them started an eight-month cold war, and then one winter morning, Fang Ke disappeared.
Fang Ke was even crazier at that time. He did not go into the city, but fled along every village he passed by, knocking on doors from house to house. Every time a door was opened, he would ask the other party with bloodshot eyes to lock him up with a dog chain.
He was so strange and so frightening that he was always driven out of the village with wounds all over his body.
Until he walked a full 8,000 kilometers to Tang County, until he ran into a man head-on in a frenzy. He pushed the man away, grabbed the man's collar, shook him in a hysterical tone, and said to him: "Tie me up!"
The man looked stunned and said to him in a panic: "Sir, I am not a dom, I am a sub."
"What is a dom and what is a sub?"
"A dom is... putting a collar on you and tying you up to him. You can give everything to him and he will take good care of you."
So this is what dom means.
It turns out that he has always wanted to find a dom.
The drifting wood that had been drifting in the void for who knows how many years became concrete the moment it learned this word.
He wanted to be collared and have someone take good care of him.
He can give everything he has: body and soul to that person.
But he could never find anyone worthy of trust, so he opened a small tavern in the old town of Tang County and named it "Dead Eye of Clam". It is a coordinate in the deep sea. People who understand it will naturally walk in, sit down and have a drink made by himself or others.
Fang Ke always sat at the bar, the highest seat in the entire pub, playing the guitar and expressing his thoughts through singing.
Those who understand will naturally come forward and flirt with him.
Those were very ignorant days. The irritability was still the same, the noise was still annoying, and everything was gradually built up from nothing.
It even has a website and a membership system.
The website was built with the help of the sub from the beginning. He is a programmer, a poor office worker, and also a weird player with the ID: A Monkey.
An ape died in a nightmare-level dungeon three years ago.
At that time, Su Nan just discovered this "pearl" hidden in the crowd.
Su Nan easily agreed to his request and took him to a dungeon.
The nightmare seemed to have truly begun from that moment on, and everything that had happened before was just a trivial rehearsal.
…
The feeling of coldness began to spread from the small piece of floor where I was sitting to my entire body.
"Don't talk about it," his voice was very cold, just like his body. He locked Shen Cinian outside the door, rejected his own driftwood, and just hugged his cold body tightly.
The phone screen was on. Fang Jimin had sent him nearly 60 messages in the past three days, which was 30 times the total number in the past three years.
There are 99+ messages, and the rest are sent by Wang Xiaosheng and Wang Lingxin.
He would leave tonight, leave Chen Ci Nian, abandon this relationship that had never officially begun, and return to City A.
Wang Lingxin has finished the college entrance examination. The Fang and Wang families want Shen Cinian to go back to City A with him to attend the engagement party. The Security Bureau also wants this, but he is unwilling.
He doesn't want to. He doesn't want to.
He didn't know why he didn't want to, but he just didn't want Shen Cinian to appear at his engagement.
There were many thoughts in my mind: running away from the marriage, committing suicide, and making a big fuss.
What about Wang Lingxin? Wang Lingxin has liked him for so long. Even if he doesn’t like Wang Lingxin, he doesn’t want to embarrass her alone.
He is selfish, but he is not blind to right and wrong. Wang Lingxin is one of the few people who treats him well, and he has always treated her as a noisy sister.
Although she is noisy and annoying to him, his sister should be protected.
The marriage was a joint decision made by the two families, and he had no say in it.
It's not something that can be decided just by him making a fuss.
The little princess of the Wang family is determined to marry him, and the Fang and Wang families will definitely force him to bow his back and go to the wedding hall.
He didn't know how to face Shen Cinian or tell him about this. His only choice was to hide it and escape.
The only choice he had was...
Break up with Chen Cinian.
Despite him, he didn't want to do it.
"Get lost!" His voice was low and hoarse, trying hard to suppress the trembling choke. "It's none of your business!"
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