Spiritual nourishment from idols
Back in the mansion, Yu Jinli felt as if all her bones had been removed, and she collapsed limply on the sofa, not wanting to move at all.
The fatigue from the intense mental stress came in waves, more tiring than running a marathon in that ridiculous protective suit.
She ate dinner hastily and then rushed back to her bedroom, which was so big it could host a mini-sports meet.
She threw herself heavily onto that soft, warm bed and let out a long, satisfied sigh.
Everything that happened today played on repeat in her mind like a suspenseful movie with a dramatic plot and cheap special effects.
The bottomless misfortune that Feng Jinxuan suffered, the eerie and ugly "evil nail" on the construction site, and the enemy who still lurks in the shadows, whose true nature is unknown...
All of this made her feel like a stray chicken that had wandered onto the set of a Hollywood blockbuster, surrounded by incomprehensible high-tech gadgets and props that could explode at any moment.
For the first time, she truly felt fear.
It wasn't that she was afraid of death; after all, one of Yu Jinli's life mottos was "Life and death are preordained, wealth and honor are determined by fate"—she was just afraid of not having spent all her money after she died.
Ding! A text message has been received: Dear customer Yu Jinli, your outstanding payment amount for next month...
...Okay, Yu Jinli admits that what she fears is that feeling of helplessness, that frustration of having her life completely in someone else's hands.
She was like a small boat caught in a deep-sea whirlpool, unable to escape the powerful force dragging her into the unknown abyss no matter how hard she paddled.
No, I can't be this depressed.
Yu Jinli shook her head violently, forcing herself to break free from that negative emotion.
The word "admit defeat" doesn't exist in her dictionary, and she's never had the extra money to buy a dictionary!
She pulled her tablet out from under her pillow, unlocked it, and expertly opened a video app, then went to her following list.
There was only one account in the entire list, which she had set to be a special follower and pinned to the top with the highest privileges.
The account's profile picture is a silhouette of someone making an extreme jump against the light, with a magnificent canyon and sunset in the background, full of a sense of story.
The ID is very simple, consisting of only one English word: Chase.
This is her secret base, her inexhaustible spiritual recharging station hidden deep in her heart.
Chase, a mysterious blogger who once streaked across the night sky like a comet in the extreme sports world and then mysteriously disappeared.
His videos have a kind of magic.
There were no fancy editing, no deliberately sentimental background music, and not even a single unnecessary narration.
Yes, it is the purest form of confrontation between the human body and the limits of nature.
She opened a favorites folder, which contained some of her favorite videos.
The first video shows him wingsuit flying atop a snow-capped peak in the Alps. In the video, he spreads his arms wide, like an eagle breaking free from all constraints, leaping fearlessly off a cliff. He soars over jagged cliffs, through surging clouds, the wind whistling in his ears, the whole world becoming the backdrop for his free flight. That exhilarating, gravity-defying freedom makes Yu Jinli feel, every time she watches it, that her own heart, heavy with debt and life's burdens, take flight as well.
The second video shows him performing urban parkour amidst the towering skyscrapers of Dubai. His movements are as agile as an ape, viewing the gaps between skyscrapers as flat ground from tens or even hundreds of meters in the air. Every jump, every somersault, is precise as if calculated by a computer, brimming with power and beauty. Yu Jinli especially loves watching his brief, backward glance after easily clearing obstacles, a gesture brimming with contempt and conquest of this concrete jungle.
The third video shows him performing free solo rock climbing on a cliff in Norway. The camera is fixed to the rock face, recording every breath he takes, every struggle between his fingers and the rock. Below him is a bottomless abyss, and the mountain wind howls around him, but a faint, confident smile is always visible on his face. It's as if it's not a battle with death, but a pleasant afternoon stroll.
Each of his videos is like a shot of adrenaline, brimming with a vigorous, almost savage vitality.
That spirit of breaking free from all constraints and pursuing ultimate freedom repeatedly pulled Yu Jinli back from the brink of despair during those darkest days when she was overwhelmed by debt.
She always felt that a person who could face the threat of death with a smile must carry the light and warmth of the sun.
Just by looking at him, I realized that my own difficulties—not having money for food, being chased for rent by the landlord, and not being able to open a business—were insignificant and not worth mentioning.
Unfortunately, three years ago, just as Chase was about to surpass ten million followers and become the undisputed number one in the industry, his account suddenly stopped updating without warning.
No matter how frantically fans called out for him in the comments section, or how they speculated whether something had happened to him, he seemed to have vanished into thin air, leaving no trace.
His homepage has become a monument, forever frozen in that glorious moment.
Yu Jinli sighed and clicked on his last video.
That was a compilation of his industrial parkour in an abandoned factory, and it was the video she had watched the most times.
In the video, the man whose face is never clearly visible wears a simple black tracksuit, and his figure moves like a ghost among the rusty steel frames and pipes, leaping and tumbling.
His movements combine power and beauty, brimming with wild tension.
At the end of the video, he stands atop the factory's tallest chimney, arms outstretched, embracing the afterglow of the setting sun.
The whole world seemed to bow down at his feet.
Yu Jinli held the tablet, watching it over and over again.
The indomitable spirit and willingness to challenge everything in the video flowed into her weary heart like a warm undercurrent, dispelling her unease and fear.
Yes, what's there to be afraid of?
Isn't it just that there's an unseen enemy lurking in the shadows?
Isn't it just being tied to a cursed lone star?
Isn't it just a countdown of only 300-odd days left to live?
It's no big deal.
As Chase often says in his video descriptions: Fear is something to be conquered.
Just do it!
She felt full of energy again, as if she had just drunk a large bottle of energy drink, and was filled with the ambition to "live another five hundred years" from the inside out.
She scrolled to the comments section below the video and skillfully typed out a line of text.
[Koi is not a fish]: Great master, I also gained strength from you today! I hope everything is well with you! Wherever you are now, whatever you are doing, please be safe and joyful!
This is her ninety-ninth comment.
Since the day he stopped updating, she has come here every now and then to leave a blessing, like a stubborn yet gentle ritual, and also a kind of encouragement to herself.
After sending her comment, she turned off her tablet, satisfied, and prepared to go to sleep.
What she didn't know was that it was in the study next door.
In the still darkness, only the screen of a laptop computer glowed faintly.
The screen displayed Chase's personal homepage.
Feng Jinxuan sat motionless at his desk, like a sculpture that had merged into the darkness.
He stared at the new comment that had just popped up, with the ID "Koi is not a fish," his deep eyes churning with complex and sorrowful emotions that no one else could understand.
It was a mixture of nostalgia, pain, self-deprecation, and a hint of...warmth that even he himself was unwilling to admit.
His fingers hovered above the keyboard for a very long time.
He really wanted to reply with something.
Even something as simple as a "thank you".
But in the end, it drooped helplessly.
He slowly moved the mouse and clicked on an encrypted folder hidden deep within the computer.
The password was a complex string of numbers, representing the date he first won the wingsuit flying championship.
There was only one photo in the folder.
The photo shows a boy who is not yet twenty years old.
The boy sat on a rock on the edge of a cliff, wearing professional climbing gear and covered in dust, but with a bright smile on his face that could melt ice and snow.
That face, apart from being a bit more youthful and less cold and stern, but with a more fearless and arrogant air, was exactly the same as Feng Jinxuan's current face.
That's him.
It is the version of myself that has not yet been consumed by misfortune.
It was that version of myself, still called "Chase".
He reached out his hand, his fingertips gently tracing the smiling face of the boy in the photograph.
The light from the screen reflected in his cold eyes, like a handful of snow that could never melt, quietly and silently telling the story of a grand, unknown death.
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