suicide note



suicide note

As autumn deepened, the rain began to fall. Shi Youchen had just reached the foot of the dormitory building when the raindrops began to fall, hitting the ground closely and densely, making a crisp sound. The puddles that slowly formed on the ground reminded him of Lu Quezhi's eyes.

He walked into the elevator and pressed the "12" button. The elevator door cut off his view, and when it opened again, he was already standing at the door of Lu Quezhi's dormitory.

After the death of the mutant, the matching bracelet will be recycled and sealed, and the password will become the only key to open the door.

Shi Youchen entered "172921" while thinking: Using the date of awakening as a password, what a simple person.

But such a simple person turned out to be a complete traitor.

He opened the door and saw that the overall decoration of the house was not much different from his own residence, but the furnishings were much simpler, and there were not many signs of life. At this moment, the window was half open, and the table was already mostly wet from the rain.

The rain intensified, and the wind grew even stronger. Shi Youchen changed his shoes, walked over to close the half window, then went to the bathroom to get a towel, wiped the water off the table, and opened the drawer on the left side of the table.

There was a letter lying quietly in the drawer. The pure white envelope was not sealed, and you could see the folded papers stuffed inside.

Shi Youchen took it out, unpacked the paper, and unfolded it. The paper was slightly yellowed and wrinkled, and the handwriting on it was childish, but neatly arranged on the paper, just like Lu Quezhi himself.

“Dear Mother,

I love you. If you see this letter, it means I am no longer by your side.

You will be very sad, just like I was when I first learned that you were seriously ill. But don't cry for too long, it's not good for your health. Just keep me in your heart and miss me occasionally.

I'm very lucky. These past ten years have been an extra gift from God, allowing me to grow up, learn to read and write, and take care of you. Even more fortunately, I was chosen to become an awakener, giving me the opportunity to provide you with better treatment.

I cherished this opportunity, so I studied hard and worked hard to complete the mission. I also met many people, and they were all very kind to me. However, our missions were all dangerous, and there was always a chance we wouldn't be able to return.

I am already so lucky, so if it is my turn who cannot come back, I will not blame anyone else.

Mom, I died in the line of duty, so you must be proud of me. Even when I'm not around, you must live well, just as a way of seeing this world that everyone is fighting so hard to protect. When you finally die, you can tell me the story of what happened next.

If I see you too soon, I'll definitely be angry. So, Mom, please live well. You have to leave the bed and the hospital. If you can, you have to go see the snow in the north. I heard from a friend that the snow-capped mountains are created by God. If you talk to the mountain top, God can hear your wishes.

If you really saw it, I hope my mother's wish can be 'to be with Quezhi in the next life', but it doesn't matter if it's not, because I am a selfish bad child.

Mom, I didn't ask the association to prepare a cemetery, so don't look for my burial place.

I am the wind blowing past your ears, the sunshine spreading on the ground, every drop of rain, and the sparkle on the snow. I will wake up with you to look at the blue sky outside the window, and I will also fall asleep with you under the starry sky.

I have never left you. I love you. — Quezhi, New Calendar Year Month Day

Shi Youchen read it quietly, word for word, remembering Lu Quezhi's plea in his mind: "Please, help me fill in the date on my suicide note and hand it to my mother. She must see it. Please."

Looking at the last blank year, month and day on the paper, Shi Youchen pondered for a moment, picked up the pen on the table, but found that there was no ink when he put it down.

He unscrewed the pen cap and looked at the empty tube with only a little ink left at the tip. He suddenly realized that it would take more than an entire pen to write such a suicide note.

"How many times did you write it?" He looked at the words on the paper and asked Lu Quezhi who was no longer there.

Maybe Lu Quezhi started writing from the day he awakened to become a superpower, maybe he started writing from the day he finished his training, maybe he started writing after he returned from his first mission, maybe... he has been writing continuously for more than ten years.

He may have betrayed the association, may have done bad things, or may have been selfish.

But his emotions are real.

Shi Youchen put the suicide note back into the envelope, folded it, and put it in his pocket.

Outside the window, the rain was pouring down, and the entire sky had darkened, with no trace of sunlight visible. The sound of the rain rustled into Shi Youchen's ears, washing away his memories of the past few days.

He looked at the sky for a long time, saw the rain stop, the moon rise, and the stars shine brightly, and thought that tomorrow should be a sunny day.

...

Three days later, in the office of the Minister of Information, Shi Youchen and Yan Zhiyuan sat face to face drinking tea.

Shi Youchen rarely suffers from insomnia, but he tossed and turned all night last night, recalling over and over again the first to the last time he saw Lu Quezhi, and carefully unfolded his suicide note and read it several times.

As daybreak approached, he made a decision.

"I'm going to District 10," he said.

Yan Zhiyuan was taking a sip of tea when he choked and coughed because of his sudden words. He took a piece of paper and wiped the corner of his mouth while looking at him with disbelief.

Ying Yungui pushed the door open and caught these words in time.

"?" Ying Yungui placed the gift box in front of Yan Zhiyuan and said, "This is the tea I brought back from the mission. It's for you." He was repaying the other party for giving him advice last time.

He walked over to the seat next to Shi Youchen and sat down, legs apart: "I heard about Lu Quezhi's situation."

"I didn't expect someone to be so arrogant." He frowned and stroked the tea table with the front half of his palm.

Yan Zhiyuan: "No one expected it." He turned to ask Shi Youchen, "You said you were going to District 10? Why?" In his impression, Shi Youchen always avoided missions if he could avoid it, and always avoided crowds.

Shi Youchen picked up the teacup and said thoughtfully, "Let's go see the snow-capped mountains."

Ying Yungui glanced at him and said, "I'm going too."

"What are you going to do again?" Yan Zhiyuan was speechless.

"I haven't been to District 10 for a long time. I want to relax." Ying Yungui raised his eyebrows.

Shi Youchen put down his teacup, placed his hands on his knees, tapped his fingertips and said, "I'm not kidding. I want to go to District 10."

Yan Zhiyuan was helpless: "I didn't say you can't go. It's your freedom to go wherever you want. But if you go to District 10 and encounter an emergency mission there, I'm afraid..."

Ying Yungui smiled and said, "What's so difficult about this? Just take a mission in District 10 and go there."

Yan Zhiyuan thought silently for a while, then agreed with his method. He then instructed Shi Youchen, "I'm worried about you going alone. Lin Zhouze will definitely be worried if he finds out. Why not bring your bodyguard... Ying Yungui along?"

Ying Yungui:?

Shi Youchen thought for a moment and said, "Okay." He and Ying Yungui were already familiar with each other, and the other party was more familiar with cross-regional missions than he was, so it would be much more convenient with him around.

So after the three of them discussed, Shi Youchen and Ying Yungui took on the "C-level task: delivering documents with the association branch's seal (from Area 8 to Area 10), task points: 200." to ensure that they would not be bothered by urgent tasks in Area 10.

The departure time was set for the next afternoon. Shi Youchen said goodbye, saying he had to go back and pack his things, and got up first. Ying Yungui quickly stuffed something into his pocket and watched him leave with a smile.

Back in the dorm, Shi Youchen took something out of his pocket and saw it was a small bag of tea leaves, clearly not the same kind as the large bag he had given Yan Zhiyuan. He laughed to himself, took a small jar from the cupboard, washed it, and put the tea leaves in it.

After Shi Youchen left, Yan Zhiyuan and Ying Yungui still sat opposite each other, pretending to be deep in conversation.

"Okay, if you have something to say, say it quickly. If you have something to say, fart quickly." Yan Zhiyuan finally couldn't bear it anymore and spoke first.

Ying Yungui chuckled triumphantly and said, "I heard you submitted an application to change Lu Quezhi's ability to Heart Language."

Yan Zhiyuan hummed and glanced at him: "You still care about this?"

Ying Yungui said casually, "I'm concerned about something else." He recalled the scene when Shi Youchen had taken the initiative to talk to him, and asked, "Does Shi Youchen know too?"

Yan Zhiyuan replied: "I know. I showed it to him that day, and he said it was more suitable that way."

Ying Yungui rubbed his chin with two fingers, thinking: "Oh, that would be more appropriate."

Yan Zhiyuan: "What do you want to say?"

"Nothing, I'm going back to prepare for my date!" He stood up, waved goodbye, opened the door and left in one go, leaving Yan Zhiyuan alone at the table, speechless.

The next evening, on the plane.

"Ladies and gentlemen, our plane will take off soon, please cooperate..." The broadcast sounded, and the sweet female voice could not cover up Ying Yungui's disgusted voice.

"It's fine if you don't apply for a mission plane, but you refused to take my family's private plane and insisted on sitting in economy class." He muttered as he opened the sun visor.

Shi Youchen said nonchalantly, "Then why do you have to come along?"

Ying Yungui suddenly turned his head and looked at him with wide eyes: "I am a responsible person, okay? Since I have accepted the task, I will definitely complete it. Besides..." Besides, how can I let you go alone?

"Anyway, I have to take responsibility for bringing you back safely."

"Yeah, yeah, thank you for your hard work," Shi Youchen said perfunctorily. He turned off all his communication devices, put on his eye mask, lowered his seat, and lay down on his side to sleep. He hadn't slept well for several days, and his dreams were bizarre and intrusive.

Ying Yungui looked at his indifferent reaction in disbelief, then smiled silently, waved to the flight attendant for another blanket, and gently covered Shi Youchen who was already fast asleep.

Somehow, Shi Youchen slept exceptionally soundly, without dreaming or waking up. When he opened his eyes again, he happened to hear the announcement: "We hope we'll have the opportunity to serve you again. We wish you a safe journey. Thank you!"

Seeing that he had finally woken up, Ying Yungui handed him a bottle of water, the cap half-open. Shi Youchen squinted his eyes and took a long sip. His hair had fallen flat on the right side from sleeping, but the ends were still stubbornly curled, which made Ying Yungui feel an itch in his heart.

Shi Youchen was carrying only a bag, and Ying Yungui was even more so, with nothing but the necessary documents. The two of them walked lightly to the airport arrivals area, where two rows of black-clad, sunglasses-wearing bodyguards stood. Leading them was a tall, slender woman with fiery red hair, her hands on her hips. Behind her hung a banner with the inscription, "Welcome Young Master Ying for your guidance."

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