courage
"Who are you?" Shi Youchen asked, momentarily distracted by the pair of eyes that looked so much like Lu Quezhi's. He took two steps back and asked. The man frowned slightly, then elegantly pulled out a black business card with gold foil from the inside of his coat with two fingers together, extending it towards Shi Youchen.
"My name is Lu Zhiqi, and I've come specially to invite you to join us." The expensive business card lingered in the cold air for about ten seconds before being taken. Lu Zhiqi withdrew his hand and reached into his pocket. "Based on your outstanding performance in the several missions since your awakening, on behalf of the Lu family, I invite you to train at the A City base."
Shi Youchen's fingertips rested on the gilded embossing on the business card. Without glancing at the printed text, he asked, "What do you mean by good performance?" They remained at a distance just wide enough for each other to hear each other clearly. Lu Zhiqi replied, "With the psychic invasion incident in District 10, the Maintenance Bureau's declaration of war in District 9, and the recent epidemic in District 5, your combat talent and contributions to the mission have been recognized by many. For someone like you who specializes in healing, that's a good performance."
He spoke calmly, making no secret of his past investigations into Shi Youchen's actions. "Our base offers a more detailed database, combat support facilities, and simulation environments than the District 8 Association. These are truly valuable resources for psychics, as you should understand."
Shi Youchen was silent for a moment, then put the business card in his pocket. His gaze fell on Lu Zhiqi's shoulder, where a thin layer of snow had accumulated. "Sorry, I don't think I'm worthy of such treatment yet."
Lu Zhiqi used his right hand to brush away the falling snow, his tone not disillusioned. "Don't rush into a decision. You can take your time to think about it. This is a rare opportunity. You've got my contact information. Just contact me when you've made up your mind." He switched to his left hand and extended it between them. "I look forward to seeing you."
After Lu Zhiqi said his goodbyes and left, Shi Youchen held the business card in his hand, examining it, his gaze settling on the association number "6967." "So he's older than Ying Yungui," he thought, standing in front of the door on the 16th floor of Building 7. Just as he was about to scan his wristband, the door swung open from the inside.
The hand holding the door frame had distinct joints, and the silver ring on the little finger was particularly conspicuous. "You're back. You must be freezing outside. Come in." Ying Yungui looked at the stunned Shi Youchen with a smile, grabbed his wrist, pulled him into the house, and closed the door.
"Why...are you here?" Shi Youchen stood there in a daze, not forgetting to put the business card given by Lu Zhiqi back into his pocket. He asked in confusion, "Association?" Before he could finish his question, Ying Yungui put his hands on his shoulders and made him sit on the chair against the wall in the entrance hall. He quickly changed his shoes, and then was pushed into the living room by his back and sat down at the dining table.
There was a table full of exquisite dishes, all still steaming hot. Ying Yungui handed him a warm towel and said, "Wipe your hands first, and then eat." Then he sat down across from him without saying anything, took the first sip of water from the cup, and Shi Youchen had no choice but to follow his lead.
The two began to eat, seemingly in silence, each preoccupied with their own thoughts. Ying Yungui served Shi Youchen soup as usual, but his movements were somehow a little stiff. Amid the clinking of bowls and chopsticks, Shi Youchen couldn't help but speak first: "Why... why didn't you reply to my message last time?" He was referring to the day he first arrived in District 5, when he'd asked Ying Yungui if he had any leads on He Xian, but hadn't received a reply.
Ying Yungui froze for a moment. He hadn't expected him to be so hung up on this matter. Seeing no escape, he reluctantly explained, "Firstly, there really wasn't any progress at the time, and I was afraid telling you would worry." He paused noticeably before continuing, "Secondly, because... He Xian's case is directly related to the Maintenance Bureau, and headquarters stipulated that no information could be shared with anyone outside the team during that period."
Shi Youchen uttered an "Oh," lowered his head, and tasted the chicken soup. "Then how can you say it now?"
"... Youchen, with your intelligence it shouldn't be difficult to guess." The affirmative tone made the listener uneasy, "We don't keep it secret because it's useless. The existence of the α team and its functions are no longer a secret." Shi Youchen stopped picking up the food and placed the chopsticks upright on the plate beside him.
There was a long silence at the table. "So, there really are people from the Maintenance Bureau within the association."
"We can't be 100% sure that it's someone from the Maintenance Bureau. After all, the association hasn't been attacked again so far. It's also possible that there are loopholes in the equipment or technology that led to the information leak. It's even possible that there are people with relevant abilities on the other side." Ying Yungui was always unwilling to believe the former possibility, because that would mean that the "insider" was a senior manager who could keep abreast of confidential movements at any time, and in the more than three months since the Maintenance Bureau declared war, it seemed that no suspicious persons had been identified.
"What's certain is that the Maintenance Bureau must have some way of getting inside information about the association, so our actions for so long have yielded almost nothing." Ying Yungui lost his appetite at this point and put down his bowl and chopsticks. "So, the top management is discussing strategy right now, and I happened to have something to do, so I took some time off and came back."
Shi Youchen calmly looked at the evasive purple eyes and said calmly, "The person in District 5, it's you, right?"
"Ah." Ying Yungui stopped dodging and stared intently at the corner of the tablecloth. After a moment of mental preparation, he closed his eyes resignedly, repeating this cycle of deep breaths and exhalations dozens of times. Shi Youchen watched without urging him. After a while, he heard him confess with a hint of pain, "It's really embarrassing for me to expose you so directly."
Various images surged in his mind. Ying Yungui recalled how he couldn't bear to cover Shi Youchen's ears in public, and how he pretended to "warn" him by the lake before they parted. When he thought of the moment when Shi Youchen knew all the comparisons, a huge sense of shame came over him.
21-year-old Ying Yungui blushed for the first time.
Shi Youchen looked at the handsome face whose expression changed rapidly, and the worries in his heart were suddenly alleviated a little. He joked, "Who asked you to say such a long speech before leaving? No matter how bad my condition was, I should be able to understand the dialect of District 8." He did not blame Ying Yungui for joining forces with Pei Chanbai but hiding it from him alone, nor did he ask Ying Yungui why he appeared in Bal.
He just looked at Young Master Ying's hot face with amusement, and suddenly felt hungry again.
Ying Yungui rubbed his fingers a few times and looked Shi Youchen in the eye. "I just mentioned that I came back because of something, and it's about you," he said, raising his hand to signal Shi Youchen to stop talking. "I'm afraid if you say anything, I'll lose my courage, so please... just listen to me." He was unusually serious and polite, which made Shi Youchen a little nervous.
Seeing that the man really didn't say anything, Ying Yungui secretly breathed a sigh of relief and raised his hand to adjust his hair. "I didn't expect to meet you in such a dangerous place, and I didn't expect that what happened there would have such a big impact on you. Shi Youchen, I must admit one thing. I didn't dare to contact you for a long time after I left, because I thought that as long as I kept those dangerous information away from you, you would be safer."
"But I forgot that you have always been a very courageous person. I thought you were too weak. I'm sorry."
"I thought about it for a long time after leaving District 5, and I felt I had to tell you."
"Please allow me to like you." His heart was beating fast, pounding against his chest, but his words were slow and firm.
"I don't want to lose the chance to confess my feelings because of a possible accident, and I don't want to pretend to be willing to compete fairly with anyone. I just want to be the first one to officially confess my feelings."
"I like you." Ying Yungui's eyes took in all of Shi Youchen's emotional changes. He quickly said, "But this is my choice and my decision. If you feel disgusted, I can disappear from your sight. I just ask that you allow me to be true to my feelings."
"I don't want the person I like to get hurt or suffer, so most of the time... I will try my best to eliminate those risks without letting you see them. I..." Ying Yungui stuttered because he saw Shi Youchen opposite him and raised his hands to cover his eyes.
"I'm sorry, do you feel uncomfortable?" When planning to confess his feelings, Ying Yungui once thought that he would be able to say it openly and honestly without any stage fright, but the reality was that Shi Youchen's only move made him completely fall apart.
Lost and fear, two words that others would never associate with Ying Yungui, came upon him at the same moment. "I..."
Shi Youchen's muffled voice came: "This doesn't sound like something you would say." The sudden words nailed Ying Yungui to his seat. Shi Youchen put down his hand and revealed a pair of smiling eyes.
"Shouldn't the Ying Yungui I know have arrogantly said to me, 'You must quickly become stronger. Only when you become strong enough will I no longer have to worry about you dying where I can't see you'?"
"What's wrong? Did going to District 5 make you timid?" Shi Youchen wiped away the tears from his eyes. "I have something very corny to say. What do you like about me?"
"Appearance? You should have seen a lot of good-looking people. Personality? I am not good at dealing with people, so my words should not be likable. Or ability? I am just a low-level ability user. There are many people in the association who are better and more useful than me, so what do you like about me?" He asked slowly with his eyes lowered.
Ying Yungui clenched his fists, feeling inexplicably angry. "I did come here because of the rumors about you, and my motives are indeed impure, but I'm not a fool."
"What you think is not you, what I see is you." "Shi Youchen, you are a thousand times better than you think." "No one else will do, you are my only choice."
The clock on the wall ticked away silently, unmoved by the change in atmosphere. The snow was still falling outside the window, though it didn't touch the tip of Shi Youchen's nose, which had turned red.
Shi Youchen couldn't recall how long it had been since he'd cried this deeply. His thoughts were of the many dilapidated ruins, the many departed, and the many different funerals. He wasn't crying for the gentle and resolute confession; he was crying for his own weakness and incompetence.
Ying Yungui suddenly calmed down, realizing that Shi Youchen was indeed on the verge of collapse, just as he had imagined. "Every time, every time, someone dies because of me, Ying Yungui." Shi Youchen closed his eyes and saw Lu Quezhi's eyes. In his dream, he could still see Xiaowei jumping and calling out to him. "I'm ignorant and arrogant. I can't save anyone."
"Don't like me anymore."
The whole table was quietly moved aside, and Shi Youchen was embraced in the broad chest.
"Youchen, I'm very strong." Ying Yungui placed his palm on the small curls on the back of Shi Youchen's head and solemnly swore, "I will never die because of you."
After a long moment, Ying Yungui felt the trembling in his shoulders cease. He used some strength to hold the man who was trying to flee, and asked him solemnly, "I swear on my ideals that I will do everything in my power to make you stronger, until we can truly fight side by side." "I will not blindly protect you, nor will I force you to stay away from battle. I believe in you."
"Would you like to?"
...
"Okay." Ying Yungui's words were so confident that Youchen was willing to trust someone like this for the first time. So he nodded with the courage to move forward.
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