Ah Li,
The first time I called you that was on a summer night 11 years ago. I think you probably don't remember it anymore.
Fu Minghui pointed at you and introduced you to me, saying that this was Ye family's little Ali. I looked down and met your bright and lively eyes.
You call me Brother Yanci.
Then she changed her address to "little uncle".
You said: "Uncle, can you smile? You're so handsome, it's such a waste to have such a straight face!"
At the time, I was thinking that Ye family's little Ali was really noisy. She didn't seem like a young lady from a wealthy family in the capital at all, but rather like... the pear-shaped cat in my grandmother's yard.
The tabby cat didn't care whether my father didn't love me or my mother didn't care about me. It only knew that I wouldn't hurt it. It lazily walked to my feet and lay down, revealing its snow-white and soft belly, making me feel the warmth that comes from complete trust.
And you are like a ray of light shining in the dark years; when I think of you, my gloomy life suddenly becomes bright.
In public, Ah Li calls me Second Young Master Fu; she is gentle and graceful.
Ali, who calls me "little uncle" in private, is well-behaved and adorable.
Ah Li, who occasionally wrinkles her nose and calls me "cold ice cube," is charming and adorable.
Every single one of Ah Li's is irresistible to me.
When I realize I want to see you all the time, when seeing you smile makes my heart bloom, and when seeing you sad makes me want to destroy the whole world, I think I might be sick.
A grown man, whether he likes or admires someone, should have all his private feelings directed towards another grown woman, not a young girl.
When I realized this, I chose to distance myself from you.
Those years at Harvard were the most painful years of my life.
The long-planned encounter and time spent together at the Zhou family villa, even if only for a brief moment, was a comforting balm for my gloomy days.
With a 12-hour time difference, it felt as if we were on opposite sides of the Atlantic Ocean, and even hearing your name became a luxury for me.
I know that Dad has chosen Zhou Hechen as his future son-in-law, I know that you and he are always together, and I know his neglect of you and the grievances you have suffered.
And I, from beginning to end, was like a despicable covetous person.
Because of you, I met Li Li at the orphanage.
Li Li is a very good girl. In the gray orphanage, she is like a ray of light, gently illuminating every child inside.
Just like you, you illuminated my dark life.
Whether it was impulsive or premeditated, I changed her name when I signed the documents.
Ah Li, if I had known that this name would cause you such a big misunderstanding, I would have preferred to have done nothing at all that year.
Ali, I love you, I only love you!
This has always been the case, is now, and will continue to be so.
Ali, you probably don't know that I was there on your 18th birthday.
You looked as beautiful as a pear blossom in April in your white dress.
Hidden behind the pillars on the second floor, I was a pathetic bystander.
Countless moments passed, and the devil's temptation swirled in my heart: Take her away!!!
But looking at your bright smile, as if your eyes and heart only held Zhou Hechen, I knew that I had already lost completely before I even had a chance to appear.
If you love someone but can't be with them, then watching over their happiness from afar is also a kind of happiness, isn't it?
I used to think I was a despicable pedophile.
For many years afterward, I became certain that I wasn't; all my emotions—joy, anger, sorrow, and happiness—were solely because of you.
Later, I found myself in a morally bankrupt place.
I don't even dare let anyone know that I love my future nephew's wife, for fear that even the slightest leak will embarrass you.
I have imagined countless times how I would cope when the day I least dared to face finally arrives.
Bright and radiant, sparkling and luminous, you wear a pure white wedding dress, arm in arm with your father, and walk through a wall of white roses, smiling and laughing as you head towards another man.
What will I look like sitting in the audience at that time?
Just thinking about such a scene is cruel.
Ah Li, and before that, I had a despicable thought: should I make Zhou Hechen disappear, and make the Zhou family disappear?
Time heals all wounds. When you forget her and the pain, I will appear before you at the most opportune time and in the most beautiful setting, in just the right way, to pursue you and have you.
But the thought of you being heartbroken makes me unable to bear it.
Until that day, you appeared in front of me and told me you were single and wanted to make a deal with me.
Ah Li, that was the brightest and most radiant day of my life.
I didn't even dare to exhale that sigh of relief in front of you.
Until you signed the agreement I had been planning for so long, and then we got our marriage certificate.
Ah Li, the past year was the happiest year of my 29 years.
Watching you go from cautiously trying to please me, to carefully and earnestly liking me, and then to joyfully and brightly falling in love with me, I told myself: Look, God still favors you, allowing you to finally wait for this day.
I can finally tell you about all those secret yet passionate feelings I had in the past without any reservations.
Beasts or animals.
Perverted or whatever.
Since that person is you, then I accept it!
The girl I've longed for for 10 years, I can finally openly and legitimately possess.
From now on, I will be there for you in every smile and frown, in every joy and sorrow, and I will never give anyone the chance to bully you.
I want my Ali to live a carefree and free life, just like the little Ali of the Ye family before, and to always have a smile on her face.
Ah Li, if I had told you earlier, would we have ended up like this?
When you're happy, you say, "Fu Yanci, I like you so much!"
When you're angry, you say, "Fu Yanci, I hate you."
But Ah Li, I love you so much.
I love you so much that I can't even remember the day this love took root in my heart and became so inseparable.
Ali, I love you more than you can imagine!
In the past 29 years, you have been my only heartbeat and my only bond.
But I think I did something wrong!
Ah Li, I'm sorry!
But Ah Li, please believe me!
There are no illegitimate children.
There is no white moonlight.
From beginning to end, it's only you, only you.
The Ye family's bankruptcy was not my doing, but ultimately, it still falls on me, and I accept it!
The real reason for my father's sudden death was not what I did. Please, give me another chance to explain.
I showed up there on a whim, and at my father's request, I revealed my feelings and promised to take good care of you and Mom for the rest of my life.
But I didn't expect what would happen next, which led to the misunderstanding we have today.
Ah Li, I'm sorry!
I am willing to spend the rest of my life repenting and making amends. Please give me this chance, okay?
---Fu Yanci
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