Heart
Wanyang, Baisha Island.
Coconut palms sway in the breeze, sunlight spills onto the platinum coastline, covering the entire white sand beach. In the cool shade under the umbrella, Milo sits on a soft couch, looking down at his phone.
"You've been watching me for so long, are you waiting for a call or planning to make one? Relax, I've told you, I'm not here to spy on you. Just treat me like I'm not there, there's no need to be so tense."
Milo turned his head and saw Nona on the deck chair, basking in the tropical sun. Sunglasses covered half of her face, revealing only her delicate chin and languidly upturned lips. She was drinking from a straw, and the bubbles of chilled champagne kept climbing up the glass.
A phone rang, and Nonai smiled, half-lifting her sunglasses: "The phone's ringing. It might be Blaze calling you."
Milo quickly denied it: "Impossible."
Nonai pursed her lips as if she had something in mind: "Oh, you deleted all contact information? Do all people who break up go through these steps? Even you two are no exception?"
Milo ignored Nonai and answered the phone.
Jesse's muffled voice came from the other end of the phone, sounding like he was standing in a windy spot.
“The Dale Group’s shipping route will most likely avoid the main channel, and we will close the net as planned tomorrow.” Jesse paused for a moment, then continued, “After Miles returned to Lanman, he went to the company, explained all the shipping routes for the shipments, and then lost contact. But what is certain is that Miles will definitely board the ship; he must inspect both the man and the cargo before it’s considered complete. Although there is no accurate information yet, I will inform you as soon as there are any new developments.”
"I understand," Milo replied. "Thank you."
On the other end of the phone, Jesse was silent for a moment before saying, "Milo, I won't advise you to wait for me in Wanyang. We'll leave from the Tengbang Embassy tomorrow, and then we'll meet together. I'll accompany you to personally end all of this."
Milo gripped the phone, gazing at the layers of waves and white sand, and suddenly remembered his time back in Wudong Port. Back then, he stood beneath the giant ship, the Bethlehem, under the blazing sun, talking to a completely unaware Jesse. So much time had passed, and his experiences had changed; his state of mind seemed different too. Back then, he'd felt a little apprehensive, a tension about the unknown. But now, he seemed unusually calm.
"Milo, we'll meet again, right?"
Milo snapped out of his reverie and lowered his eyes slightly. Many things in the world change, but some things remain constant. Jesse had never changed from beginning to end. Even when he himself believed he had killed and buried the body, Jesse firmly believed he hadn't done it and tried every means to overturn his conviction.
Milo suddenly blurted out, "If I were still Theo Green, we would still know each other, right?"
If he were still Theo Green, his acquaintance with Jesse would have been much more normal. They would have been a good match in terms of status, experience, and even their naivety. He would have taken the initiative to talk to Jesse, gradually discovering that Jesse was a warm and kind person. Then, they would have met up together from all over the world, chatting about everything under the sun, and becoming true friends.
Either possibility is better than the current situation.
"I don't want to."
Milo was momentarily stunned: "What?"
“I said I don’t want it. I only accept you. I only want to be friends with you as you are now.” Jesse said in a hoarse voice on the other end of the phone, “There aren’t so many ‘what ifs’ in life. You’re doing well, and I’m doing well too. Our future will only get better and better.”
Milo smiled. "Are you boarding the ship tonight?"
Jesse paused, hesitated for a moment, and gave an ambiguous answer: "There's something else I need to do tonight. I have an appointment to meet someone important. Once I've finished that, I can board the ship with peace of mind."
Milo nodded, not pressing for further details: "Keep in touch."
Milo hung up the call, just in time to meet Nonai's probing gaze.
Nonai took off her sunglasses, her large amber eyes sparkling with laughter: "Actually, this policeman is really good, much better than Steven or Miles. But why don't you like such an upright and pure person, and instead prefer Blaise?"
Milo glanced at Nonai, finding her words absurd.
"A person who has no expectations and whom you thought you could emotionally abuse at will without any remorse is just like that. One day, you suddenly realize that he is also a living, breathing person with his own vulnerabilities. When you realize this, you naturally become afraid, don't you? But you can't tell whether this feeling is moral condemnation or a loosening of feelings, so you can only choose to escape and push him away with various excuses."
"What you're even more afraid to admit is that he's a perfect match for you, isn't he? Whether it's Theo Green, who loves extreme challenges, or Milo, who's going further and further down the path of revenge, aren't they both fascinated by the feeling of danger? Blaze... actually perfectly matches your tastes, doesn't he? Milo, ask yourself honestly, haven't you felt the thrill of being on the edge of life and death when you're with him? That thrill is quite chilling, isn't it?"
"But you won't admit it. Because loving him would make you ashamed. He's not a good person, nor is he a smart one. He'd even die for you if you gave the order. This feeling is too heavy; there aren't many people in this world who can give that. If you were truly ruthless, you should be happy, not tormented like this. Is refusing to admit loving Blaise also part of your plan?"
Milo looked at Nonae indifferently: "Did he send you to tell me all this?"
Nonai lazily propped herself up and said, "I just think it's really torturous for people like you who don't even dare to admit whether they love or not. I used to think you were the smart one, but now I see that you're the one who really doesn't understand."
"What don't you understand?"
"You're right, he does like Theo Green, but eighty or ninety percent of that liking is just his own one-sided fantasy, which has led him down a dead end in his emotions. But when you first came to Gangu, when he took Xigong's lash for you, he didn't know you were Theo Green. He likes you, but precisely because you're not Theo Green, he has to force himself not to like you. Can't you see that contradiction at all?"
"Blaze's first mission into Aplin was because Sigon got him a mercenary job. He was fifteen at the time. Because he was too young and resources were limited, all his teammates abandoned him. He had no food or weapons and wandered in Aplin for half a month, emerging as nothing but a skeleton. Last time you two came out of Aplin, when you were taken for treatment, he was delirious with a high fever. We knew you hadn't abandoned him in Aplin; you carried him through that hellhole all night. To tell you the truth, people like us, living in this world, facing that situation, would never go back to save him. That's true humanity, and many of the things you did for him clearly went against human nature. Nothing but love can go against humanity."
Milo turned his face away, avoiding Nonai's gaze.
"Back then, did he even think about whether you were Theo Green or Milo? Not to mention, those two people are the same person. The one who couldn't tell you apart was you, and the one who couldn't face it was you. Do you think the current Milo is incomparable to the Theo Green of the past? Even Blaze's affections only belong to the flawless Theo Green?" Nona tilted her head and spoke softly, "Or is it that his love for you was too overwhelming, which fostered your contempt, making you subconsciously feel that you could emotionally abuse him at will, and that he would crawl back to you with a wave of your hand?"
"When he shot you, you were terrified, weren't you? You weren't afraid of dying, but you were afraid that he really didn't love you anymore. If he didn't love you anymore, where else could you find such a twisted yet useful person who would chase after you, fawn over you, and also appropriately control you? Little Luo, thinking about it this way, although you controlled Blaze, Blaze also seems to have tied you down in some ways. The two of you are really evenly matched in your sickness."
Milo stood up abruptly.
"Are you angry?" Nona rested her chin on her hand, looking at Milo's face in the sunset with a hint of appreciation. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have told the truth."
"You and Blaise aren't in a superior-subordinate relationship. You wouldn't waste so much time on me just because of a few words from him. The only explanation is that protecting my safety is in your best interest. If I'm not mistaken, Blaise's current plan is most likely to kick Xigong out of the table. When we're surrounded by enemies, only I might dare to cooperate with you. You know best how much of what you just said was inflammatory. You want to see me feel guilty towards Blaise, you want to push me to agree to a possible future cooperation with Gan Valley, and of course, what you most want is to gain some goodwill from me. After all, if Blaise and I really develop a relationship, and we need to discuss business, we'll have to set aside personal feelings and choose another suitable third party to represent him. You want that person to be you."
A moment of silence.
"Ugh, damn it, I've discovered I still kind of dislike people who are too smart." Nona stood up, looked around, gazed at the afterglow of the setting sun, and said with a smile, "So, you've always seen through my intentions, then why did you keep me by your side?"
Why not use free bodyguards?
“Hmm, that does reveal a bit of a selfish side to men.” Nonai picked up his sun hat. “Alright, now that we’ve come this far, you have to give me something in return. Otherwise, if I just go back like this, it won’t be easy to explain to that stubborn guy, since he’s holding a gun to my head and forcing me to watch over you.”
"I'm going to kill someone, do you want to come with me?"
Nona raised an eyebrow slightly: "Kill who, Miles?"
Milo did not respond.
"What if I insist on following you?"
Milo calmly looked at Nona: "Of course, if you've had enough of living, you can come." With that, he pressed a card and pushed it toward Nona.
Nona glanced at the black card, then looked back at Milo, her smile gradually fading.
These words, coming from Milo, shouldn't have been threatening, especially not to someone like Nonai who had actually seen blood. But Milo was referring to Miles. Nonai vaguely sensed that her words had touched a nerve with Milo, revealing truths he was unwilling to admit. If developing genuine feelings for Blaise was something Milo would rather die than acknowledge, then settling things with Miles was the ultimate goal that had kept him alive all these years.
Nonai had no doubt about the sincerity of Milo's threat. There's a kind of death threat in this world called "fight to the death," and she didn't want to be that fish that was accidentally caught in the trap. Besides, no matter the outcome, as long as Milo had even a slight chance of winning, she couldn't truly offend him.
“Okay, I do feel like I haven’t lived enough yet, and I have no interest in suicide.” Nona put her sunglasses back on and picked up the card Milo had placed on the table. “Thanks for the reimbursement. After all, I was Miles’s stepmother for a while, so remember to say hello to him for me before he dies.”
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