Dreams
Ever since Xun Guang caught him crying secretly behind the teaching building, Xun Guang has been labeled a "good person" in Yu Guangji's mind.
Afterwards, Yu Guangji wanted to thank Xun Guang, but after Xun Guang asked around, he found out that Xun Guang was a prominent figure in their school. Every time he wanted to go over to thank him, he would find that there were many people around Xun Guang. He was not willing to socialize with others, so he could only retreat to his own corner.
But because he was always thinking about thanking the other party, Yu Guangji subconsciously began to pay attention to Xun Guang, and this attention made him discover Xun Guang's secret.
"Don't get me wrong. I won't tell anyone even if I find out." Yu Guangji explained, "I just want to remind you that sometimes your eyes are too... too obvious. People like us can easily notice it."
He didn't know how the people around Xun Guang viewed the homosexual community, but as for him, whenever someone talked about this topic, everyone's face was filled with disgust and confusion.
He felt that a good person like Xun Guang should not be viewed with disgust. Moreover, the person Xun Guang liked seemed to be a straight man...
"I don't mean to say that straight men are bad. In fact, the person I like should also be a straight man..." Talking about the person he likes, Yu Guangji's face was slightly red, "But he is different from others. I think he may be able to understand me..."
In the end, Yu Guangji did not say the name of the person he liked, but he told Xun Guang that if his confession was successful, he would definitely come and share it with Xun Guang.
Later, because Yan Feiyu encountered the scumbag "brother-in-law", Xun Guang almost stayed with Yan Feiyu all the time. During this period, Yan Feiyu lost weight because of his mood and couldn't eat. Xun Guang also found a way to ask the teacher for leave. The two went out to relax, but when they came back, they heard that Yu Guangji had dropped out of school.
"I heard that he confessed his feelings to a classmate, and then the teacher found out."
When Xun Guang mentioned this, Yan Feiyu also had some impression. He remembered that it was during the time when he and Xun Guang asked for leave that a friend mentioned this matter to him. It was said that a boy in the second year of high school kept pestering his classmates, and was discovered by the teacher. The boy's parents were called in, and the parents thought it was embarrassing and took the child away directly.
I didn’t expect that boy was Yu Guangji, and I didn’t expect that he would drop out of school in the end.
"What about the person he confessed to? Didn't Yu Guangji say that it's possible..." Yan Feiyu couldn't help asking.
Xun Guang shook his head: "That person later transferred to another school, and I don't know the details."
Yan Feiyu had mixed feelings. He had originally felt dissatisfied with the other party's attitude towards Xun Guang being too frivolous, but now he felt a little sympathetic towards him.
"I didn't expect to meet him here. He has changed a lot." Xun Guang said, "He should have gotten over that incident."
Yan Feiyu thought about the scene he had just seen and always felt that Yu Guangji's change was a little too big, and he didn't know whether it was a good thing or not.
Yan Feiyu thought for a moment and asked, "Do you have his contact information?"
"No." The two were not in the same grade, so they had little interaction. In addition, the other party dropped out of school midway. I'm afraid that there were not many people in the same class who had Yu Guangji's contact information. "He didn't say he wanted to stay just now."
"Okay." After hearing what Xun Guang said, Yan Feiyu gave up the idea of having a deep conversation with the other party.
I thought that so many years had passed, and the other party might have moved on from it long ago. I wasn't familiar with Yu Guangji, and if I rashly approached him to chat, it might only make things awkward.
Because of the memory of Yu Guangji, both of them were in low spirits. They were silent all the way. After returning to the hotel, Xun Guang went to take a shower first, leaving Yan Feiyu tossing and turning on the bed.
Ever since meeting Yu Guangji today, Yan Feiyu felt as if a blockage had been placed in his heart. To be honest, it was not a good feeling to hear from others about Xun Guang, a person he did not know, and to be able to refute the other person's definition of Xun Guang with his true identity even though he was sitting in front of the other person.
And would it really be like what Yu Guangji said? If he had not experienced this and had not known Xun Guang's feelings, would Xun Guang also fall in love with someone else?
Yan Feiyu felt a little sour in his heart, but then he thought, let alone the secret love that he had been waiting for, even after breaking up, he would normally find a girlfriend. What qualifications did he have to ask for Xun Guang?
When Xun Guang came out of the bathroom, he saw Yan Feiyu struggling with a small game on his phone. When he walked to the bed, he saw the word "game over" on the phone screen. Then he saw Yan Feiyu throw the phone to the bedside in frustration and sulk in his arms, hugging the pillow.
"Aren't you going to take a shower?" Xun Guang stood aside and wiped his hair, looking at Yan Feiyu lying on the bed. Because of the previous action, his shirt had moved up a little, revealing a part of his waist. He took a look and quickly looked away.
"Let's not wash it yet." Yan Feiyu pulled the phone back and started another game in disbelief.
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Xun Guang sitting down beside his bed. Although Yan Feiyu's fingers were poking at the screen of his mobile phone, his mind was no longer on the game.
"Well, let me ask you a question." He tried to keep his tone steady, but his fingers poking at the phone were shaking. "When did you fall in love with me?"
Xun Guang, who was wiping his hair, paused and looked over. Yan Feiyu was still playing the game and his tone was nonchalant, as if he had asked the question unintentionally.
"Junior high school, maybe."
"Junior high school?" Yan Feiyu was a little surprised. "Isn't it because I helped you carry your schoolbag once that you want to marry me?"
"How is that possible?" Xun Guang smiled, "A little later than that time."
After what happened in junior high school, for a long time Xun Guang only regarded Yan Feiyu as a very good friend.
The turning point of their relationship came in the second semester of the second year of junior high school. The school organized a movie watching party. He sat next to Yan Feiyu at the time. Halfway through the movie, Yan Feiyu stood up and said he was going to the bathroom. He was a little worried because of the nasal tone of the other person. He waited for a while and when Yan Feiyu didn't come back, he went to find him.
There was no one in the toilet, and Xun Guang finally found Yan Feiyu behind the stairs on the first floor.
Looking at the other's red eyes, Xun Guang thought to himself, it turns out that Yan Feiyu doesn't just cry when he's hurt or in pain, he also cries when he's touched. He used to feel distressed when he saw Yan Feiyu crying, but this time, a strange feeling grew in his heart.
Yan Feiyu has very fair skin, and his eyes were very red when he cried. His eyes were sparkling with tears, and he didn't have his usual bold and sunny aura at all.
The sound of his footsteps seemed to startle Yan Feiyu. When he looked up, there were traces of tears on his face. A teardrop was hanging on the tip of his nose, and his red eyes were full of panic. He was like a little rabbit trapped in a corner by a hunter, and his whole body was filled with a fragile aura.
How come he cries so beautifully? For a moment, this was the only thought in Xun Guang's mind.
Even after that incident, his feelings were still hazy, but he paid more attention to Yan Feiyu in normal times. Smiling, angry, serious... Yan Feiyu was attractive in every mood. He looked at the people around Yan Feiyu, and a secret sense of satisfaction emerged in his heart——
He was the only one who had seen Yan Feiyu with red eyes from crying.
By the time he was in the third year of junior high school, he had lost a lot of weight. His good physical condition and his sudden growth in height made him one of the most watched figures in the school.
At that time, many of his classmates had secretly fallen into ambiguous premature love, and many people gave him love letters and gifts, but he returned them all intact.
His classmates said he was like a stone that hadn't opened its mind, and Yan Feiyu was the same as him, who didn't dare to open his mind because of his strict family. People who knew them felt sorry for them but also felt fortunate. If these two people had opened their minds, they probably wouldn't have had a chance to survive.
In order to thank these two Bodhisattvas for their ignorance, on the eve of graduation from the third year of junior high school, one of Yan Feiyu's friends stole his brother's precious disc, saying that he wanted to broaden their horizons.
In the dim room, amid the stuttering sounds peculiar to pirated discs, the stimulating and erotic images made several boys in the room blush.
The actress in the film cried very emotionally. When everyone's eyes were on the TV, Xun Guang turned his head and looked at Yan Feiyu.
That night, he had a very confusing dream. In the dream, he saw a thin waist and a pair of red eyes from crying.
Then he was suddenly awakened by a very familiar cry of "Xun Guang".
"Then what?" The interface on Yan Feiyu's phone had already changed to "End", but he was still poking around. He saw Xun Guang in a daze out of the corner of his eye and couldn't help asking, "When exactly?"
Xun Guang raised his eyes and saw Yan Feiyu's raised calves. Looking up along his legs, he saw Yan Feiyu lying defenselessly on the bed, and his waist overlapped with the waist in his dream in the third grade of junior high school.
"Then..." The Adam's apple on his neck moved, and he lowered his head again, "Then I forgot."
I will write more about Yu Guangji in the extra chapter
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