Yan Wan was worried that Ji Mohan might have injured his other hand as well. She used the same method to cut open the other sleeve with scissors, and sure enough, as she expected, his other wrist was also covered with crisscrossing wounds of various sizes.
The imperial physician took out wound medicine from his medicine box, preparing to treat His Majesty's wound. The physician gently poured the medicine onto His Majesty's wound, but Ji Mohan unconsciously moved his hand away and murmured, "Yan Wan, it hurts, it hurts so much."
Upon hearing Ji Mohan's voice, Yan Wan hurriedly stepped forward, gently took his hands, and whispered to the imperial physician beside her, "Please be gentle, Imperial Physician, he says it hurts."
The two imperial physicians exchanged a glance and said with great tact, "We are just rough men and may not know our own strength. Why don't you apply the medicine to His Majesty, young lady? Just pour the wound medicine gently onto His Majesty's wound and wrap it with gauze."
Yan Wan thought for a moment and realized that this was not difficult and that she could do it. She looked at Ji Mohan's sleeping face, nodded, and then let the two imperial physicians leave.
After the two imperial physicians left, one of them spoke up, "I am also one of the imperial physicians who have accompanied His Majesty. When His Majesty was still Prince Han, the injuries he suffered at the border were much more severe than they are now, yet His Majesty never uttered a sound. Today's injuries are much lighter than those sustained on the battlefield. I wonder if His Majesty has been ill for a long time and his health has deteriorated." He had served by His Majesty's side for over ten years, previously as an imperial physician accompanying the army. Now that there was no war, he had been transferred back to the Imperial Hospital. He greatly admired His Majesty's bravery and skill in battle and did not want anything to happen to such a hero.
Another imperial physician stroked his beard with an air of mystery and said slowly, "In the past, His Majesty had no one to care for him or to love him. Even when he cried out in pain, no one paid attention. Now, His Majesty cries out in pain simply because he knows that someone who cares about him is right beside him."
There is no such thing as someone who is injured but doesn't feel pain, who doesn't utter a sound, or who has extremely high endurance. They just know that no one will care if they cry out in pain. Only those who care will care whether they are in pain or not.
The imperial physician, who had just been worried, suddenly understood after hearing this. So that's how it is! His Majesty cried out in pain because he wanted that girl to care for him. He nodded knowingly. As expected of His Majesty, his methods are truly ingenious.
At this moment, Yan Wan was unaware of the other party's tricks. Instead, she carefully applied the wound medicine to Ji Mohan. Looking at the various wounds on Ji Mohan's arm, some new and some old, her eyes slowly reddened. This fool, he could even hurt himself so cruelly.
Yan Wan looked at Ji Mohan, who was sleeping, and she couldn't imagine what would have happened to him if she had come back later or hadn't come back at all.
His love was passionate and fiery, yet also obsessive, morbid, and possessive. He gambled his life to win Yan Wan's heart, betting that Yan Wan wouldn't be willing to abandon him again.
His thoughts were frighteningly straightforward, yet Yan Wan willingly fell into his trap. Yan Wan reached out and touched Ji Mohan's face, whispering, "Don't worry, I won't leave you alone again."
She knew that Ji Mohan still lacked a sense of security. He was afraid that she would abandon him, so from the moment they met, he was uneasy and afraid. That's why he asked her to take him with her when she left.
The resolute look in his eyes just now terrified Yan Wan. She knew that if she left without making a sound, he might really die.
After treating the wound on Ji Mohan's wrist, Yan Wan calculated the time. She had just asked Xiao Wu at the door and figured that she could cook him a meal just in time before he woke up.
So Yan Wan asked the maid to take her to the small kitchen next door. Ji Mohan's body was severely depleted, and she needed to nourish him properly so that he could recover and live a good life.
After Yan Wan left, Ji Mohan felt uneasy, but he was trapped in a nightmare and could not wake up no matter how hard he tried. He dreamed of Yan Wan dying outside Yunzhou City, in his arms.
It's been almost two years since Yan Wan left, and he's had nightmares about her for two years straight. Every time he wakes up, he's drenched in sweat, in unbearable pain, and his heart aches as if he's about to die. Every time, he thinks about dying. He wonders if Yan Wan is lying to him, if she's already dead, and if she said in her letter that she wasn't from this world and hadn't died but had gone home so he wouldn't be able to accept it.
Each time, he comforted himself, telling himself he was overthinking things. Yan Wan was alive; she had gone home and reunited with her family. But this outcome was equally unacceptable to him. Why had she abandoned him? Was he really that worthless? She had excluded him from her plans and had never considered him family. So he forced himself to hate Yan Wan. He thought that if Yan Wan came back, he would punish her severely.
Yan Wan had been gone for half a year. He thought that if Yan Wan came back, he would lock her up and make her see only him from now on, never to leave him again, keeping her locked by his side.
Yan Wan had been gone for a year, and his longing had long since outweighed his resentment. He thought that if Yan Wan came back, he would hug her tightly and tell her how much he missed her and how reluctant he was to let her go.
Yan Wan has been gone for almost two years. It seems like he has been waiting for Yan Wan for a very, very long time. He also wonders if Yan Wan was ever a person at all. Is he too lonely and pitiful, so he imagined such a person to come out and keep him company?
However, he couldn't convince himself, because there were traces of Yan Wan's existence, and he was unwilling to believe that Yan Wan was just a figment of his imagination.
He kept telling himself to let go, to listen to Yan Wan and live a good life, but he didn't know how to live a good life. Yan Wan hadn't taught him how to live a good life before she left.
He missed Yan Wan terribly. He frantically searched for a way to get to Yan Wan's world, but he was so useless. He couldn't find a way to get to Yan Wan's world, and he couldn't find Yan Wan either.
Two years is far too long. He really can't hold on any longer. Yan Wan, what should I do? He seems to be dying. I'm so sorry, I didn't listen to you and I didn't live to be a hundred.
Ji Mohan was trapped in the dream and struggled desperately. He kept telling Yan Wan that it was all fake, all fake. Yan Wan told him that she was back and that she would stay with him from now on and would never leave again.
His Yan Wan is back; from now on, he is no longer alone.
"Yan Wan!" Ji Mohan suddenly opened his eyes and shouted loudly. His heart was still pounding. Ji Mohan suddenly turned his head to look at the bedside. No, no, how could she not be there? Clearly, Yan Wan told him that she was back.
She said that he would see her as soon as he woke up.
But she wasn't there; she was lying to him. She hadn't come back, and he couldn't see her even when he opened his eyes.
If Ji Mohan were to examine it carefully, he would find that the wound on his wrist had already been treated with medicine and bandaged.
But he was overwhelmed by a huge sense of loss and disappointment. He was shrouded in immense sorrow. He thought that it must be because he missed Yan Wan so much that his dream had deceived him, telling him that Yan Wan had returned.
He remained motionless, lost in his own world, seemingly pondering his painful life. His mother disliked him, his father neglected him, the people viewed him as an omen of misfortune, and even the person he loved most had left him.
He didn't know why he was alive, nor how he should live.
Yan Wan finished cooking and came in with a tray from outside. She saw Ji Mohan's indifferent and calm demeanor, as if he was about to collapse at any moment.
What Yan Wan didn't know was that he had already broken down countless times, but no one had saved him.
Yan Wan gently placed the tray on the table, walked to the bedside, looked at Ji Mohan who was immersed in his own world, sighed, gently hugged him, and whispered, "I'm sorry, Hanhan, I broke my promise just now and didn't let you see me when you woke up."
Yan Wan's voice rang in his ears, and Ji Mohan finally pulled himself out of his own world. He slowly raised his hand, wanting to hug Yan Wan back.
But he dared not, for he was afraid that if he touched her even slightly, Yan Wan would disappear again.
He called out hoarsely, "Yan Wan."
"I'm here, Hanhan, I've always been here." Yan Wan sensed his fear and hugged him even tighter.
"Yan Wan, I miss you a little," Ji Mohan murmured. He didn't care. He didn't care that Yan Wan had used him, nor did he care that Yan Wan had abandoned him.
Even if Yan Wan doesn't care about him, it doesn't matter, it doesn't matter if she doesn't love him, as long as she's by his side. No, as long as she's alive, it doesn't matter if she's not by his side, as long as he can see her from afar when he misses her.
Yan Wan gently patted Ji Mohan's back to comfort him, "I know, I miss you too, so much."
Ji Mohan gently raised his hand and hugged Yan Wan back. He didn't say anything more. He knew that he was beyond saving. Whenever Yan Wan appeared, he wished he could tie her to his side. He was too greedy. He only wanted Yan Wan to be with him.
Yan Wan hugged Ji Mohan for a long time. If she kept hugging him, the food would get cold. She pulled away from Ji Mohan's embrace, leaned down and kissed the corner of his lips, then got up and picked up the tray on the table, saying, "Are you hungry? I just made you some porridge and a few dishes."
Ji Mohan looked at Yan Wan in front of him and asked again, "Yan Wan, will you leave?"
"I won't leave, I won't leave," Yan Wan said patiently over and over again.
She knew he lacked a sense of security, so she was willing to give him affirmative answers again and again.
Hanhan, from this day forward, we will never be separated by life or death.
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