Chapter 53: Reflection in the Mirror
A false dividing line
Huo Shen didn't drink the glass of water, but he didn't reject Su Yan's advances as he had done before. The glass of water that was placed back on the coffee table was like a silent coordinate, marking some inexplicable and subtle changes between the two of them.
Su Yan no longer tried to do more. He remained quiet and obedient, but no longer avoided Huo Shen's gaze as deliberately as before. Occasionally, when Huo Shen leaned back on the sofa tiredly and closed his eyes to rest, he would sit quietly not far away, like a silent background painting.
He began to try some extremely subtle interactions without any request when Huo Shen seemed to be in a better mood. For example, after Huo Shen finished reading a document, he would hand him a pen at the right time; or when Huo Shen subconsciously rubbed his eyebrows, he would whisper: "Do you need a hot towel?"
These actions were so subtle that they were almost negligible, but like water dripping through stone, they eroded the layer of ice around Huo Shen bit by bit.
Huo Shen didn't respond most of the time, but he didn't reprimand him either. Sometimes, he would raise his eyes and look at Su Yan with those deep, unfathomable eyes. The initial brutality and pure possession were gone from his gaze, but there was a bit more scrutiny and a complexity that even he himself hadn't noticed.
He seemed to be looking for something in Su Yan other than "being like Ah Xi".
That night, Huo Shen didn't attend to official business. Instead, he sat in the living room, aimlessly switching channels on TV. Finally, the screen froze on an old art film that depicted the deep and complex emotional bond between a pair of brothers.
Su Yan sat aside, watching the screen quietly. When the older brother in the movie sacrificed everything for his younger brother, Huo Shen's hand on the remote control tightened imperceptibly. Although his eyes were still fixed on the screen, they had drifted away, as if he was seeing through the interweaving of light and shadow into the distant past.
After the movie ended, the living room fell into silence. Only the faint light reflected from the TV screen flickered on Huo Shen's face.
"What do you think," Huo Shen suddenly said, his voice sounding particularly low in the silence, "what should the relationship between brothers be like?"
Su Yan's heart trembled slightly. He knew this question was no casual one. He thought carefully and replied, "It should be... mutual support and trust." This was his true desire and his most idealistic definition of the word.
Upon hearing this, Huo Shen's lips curled up in an extremely sarcastic arc, and that smile was full of desolation and pain.
"Support each other? Trust each other?" He repeated these words in a low voice, as if chewing on something bitter. "That's a fairy tale."
He turned his head and looked at Su Yan sharply: "In the face of interests and life and death, the so-called brotherhood is so fragile that it can't withstand a single blow."
Su Yan remained silent, unable to refute. He thought of Su Chen's desperate report, Huo Shen's ruthless suppression of Su Chen, and even... the deeper secrets about Ah Xi's death that might be hidden in Huo Shen's diary. Reality always seemed to confirm Huo Shen's words.
"Ah Xi..." Su Yan mustered up the courage and mentioned this name for the first time. His voice was very soft. "What kind of person is he?"
Huo Shen's body stiffened imperceptibly. The look he gave Su Yan instantly became extremely complicated, filled with nostalgia, pain, and a hint of coldness from having touched a taboo.
"He's different from you." Huo Shen's voice turned cold, with a deliberate alienation. "He's very simple, like a blank sheet of paper." He paused, his eyes wandering over Su Yan's face, as if comparing, as if confirming, "And you, Su Yan, there are too many things hidden in your eyes."
This sentence was like a key that unexpectedly opened a box in Su Yan's heart. He had always thought that he had disguised himself well, but he didn't expect that Huo Shen had already seen through it clearly.
He looked at Huo Shen, this powerful, cold-blooded man who was also riddled with scars from his past. For the first time, he felt more than just fear. Instead, he felt an indescribable mixture of pity and a strange resonance.
They are all trapped in their own cages. Huo Shen is trapped in his obsession with the past and his guilt, while he is trapped in his struggle for survival and his confusion about the future.
"Maybe..." Su Yan met Huo Shen's gaze, his voice as light as a sigh, "It's precisely because I'm not him that I'm still alive today, isn't it?"
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