His face was like jade, his eyes like obsidian. He could steal her breath just by standing there, let alone uttering such ambiguous words. She had to admit, she was overthinking again.
Gan Tang leaned against the headboard, her eyes lowered, seemingly reluctant to speak, yet she couldn't help but ask, "How many women have you loved?"
Perhaps because the word "love" was too significant, she quickly added, "Like, even just a little bit of liking counts."
Mo Huaixing stared straight at the girl in front of him, his throat dry and sore: "One, only one."
As she drew the knife hidden at her waist and stabbed Pang Lou, she felt the approach of death. At that moment, she was overwhelmed with regret. But for some reason, her greatest regret was that she had never shared sexual relations with the man before her—a shameful thought.
So now, she regrets it. She wants to tell him that she's willing to agree to what he said in the car that day—to be his girlfriend, even if it's just a secret relationship during a dark part of his life, even if it's something the world despises.
But he didn't like her at all; he only loved his wife.
Gan Tang stole a glance at him, gripped his hand tightly, and humbly hinted, "Just playing along, huh? In all these years with the Green Dragon Gang, have you ever had a woman you'd be willing to play along with?"
If you just say you're willing, I'm willing.
Mo Huaixing grasped her hand in return, his eyes fixed on her, a gaze that seemed to stretch back a thousand years: "No, there was no pretense."
His voice was so solemn, like a vow. It illuminated her sordid thoughts, leaving her powerless to look up.
I don't know what state of mind he was in when he said those words, but now it seems he must regret it because of his beloved wife.
"Really?" Gan Tang pulled her hand away, clutching the blanket helplessly. She could disregard worldly opinions, but she couldn't disregard his.
"Yes!" All the affection he had initially thought was just a flirtation had turned into sharp blades, piercing through his pretense and mocking his cowardice. He didn't want to lie to her anymore.
Looking at Gan Tang's reddened fingertips, Mo Huaixing couldn't help but wonder: Is she struggling with whether or not to give up her fantasy about Chu Jiahe and accept herself?
Thinking of this, his heart surged with emotion. But he couldn't bear to see her torn. After all, he was by her side now; he could wait, wait for her to be willing to choose him firmly.
"There are no women, but there are men," Mo Huaixing teased her with a smile. "Aren't you with them, making fun of me and Fu Cheng!"
Gan Tang quickly explained, "I wasn't joking, I was just worried about you."
"I know!" Mo Huaixing couldn't help but stroke her hair, which was wet. Looking further down, he saw that her long hair, which was pressed against the quilt, was also damp.
"Why is it so wet? Didn't you just blow-dry your hair?" He clearly heard the hairdryer.
Gan Tang blushed and explained softly, "I was blowing on the clothes."
Mo Huaixing asked in confusion, "If you're not wearing any clothes, why are your clothes being blown around?"
How do you know I'm not wearing any?
Gan Tang kicked him in embarrassment, shoving him off the bed through the blanket. Mo Huaixing finally realized what she meant by "clothes," hurriedly took two steps back, and said awkwardly, "Let me help you dry your hair!"
"Can I lie on your lap?" Gan Tang asked hesitantly, explaining awkwardly, "Tilting my head will hurt."
Mo Huaixing placed a bath towel on her lap and helped her lie down.
The warm breeze began again, and he stroked her soft hair, patiently waiting for it to dry, as if anticipating a work of art. Her damp hair became fluffy, brushing against her shoulders, revealing bluish-purple welts. He wondered how much suffering she had endured along the way.
Mo Huaixing got up to get some food, but the wontons were already cold.
"I'll go buy something hot."
"No need." Gan Tang didn't want him to leave, so she shook her head firmly. "I'm not hungry."
"You should eat something; it'll be uncomfortable to take medicine without eating."
Gan Tang frowned: "Do I still need to take medicine?"
"You need to take cold medicine." Mo Huaixing nodded firmly. Gan Tang knew she couldn't persuade him otherwise, so she said, "Then take this. It's okay if it's a little cold."
But he still poured out the wonton soup and replaced it with hot water. Gan Tang was touched, yet also a little regretful. Touched because he was so kind to her; regretful because he was kind to everyone.
After eating and taking her medicine, Gan Tang's complexion gradually regained its vitality, and her bright eyes shone with renewed brilliance. Mo Huaixing cleared his throat and slowly spoke, "You're all women of the new era now, why are you still clinging to the idea of foot binding?"
Gan Tang didn't know what had gotten into her just now; she acted like she was possessed, even begging him not to dislike her—it was so embarrassing. But she still couldn't help asking him, "If it were someone you liked, wouldn't you care?"
Only the police would care only about the lives of hostages. She didn't want to be just a cold, impersonal term in his mind: a hostage, or someone in need of protection.
"I care because she cares. I care whether she can still be as confident and happy as before. As for me, I just hope she lives, and lives well."
He was terrified when she stabbed Pang Lou.
"How could anyone possibly live a good life?"
Gan Tang looked at him, her eyes misting over, and said with a pang of sadness, "Look online, in those rape cases, it's always the girl who gets blamed and ridiculed. They'll ask her, why did she dress so provocatively, why did she go to dangerous places, why didn't she fight back desperately, why you?"
They will always find a reason to point out your mistakes.
Even though I firmly believe I'm not wrong—the principles I've learned, the books I've read, all tell me this—even those who criticize me offer insincere comfort to my face, I still feel ashamed and embarrassed. I even fall into deep self-doubt.
Mo Huaixing sighed, "That is the struggle between thousands of years of human education and the animalistic instincts of nature. Society is not perfect yet, but the truth and the distinction between good and evil that we uphold are not wrong, so don't doubt it. This society will one day welcome the goodwill we hope for."
“I don’t question the concept of good and evil, it’s just…” Gan Tang hugged her knees tightly and asked in a muffled voice: “If you were thrown into a cesspool by kidnappers and they urinated on your head, after you washed yourself clean, could you pretend nothing happened?”
What kind of metaphor is this? Mo Huaixing frowned in disdain, but still obediently replied, "No, that's a matter of dignity."
“That solves it.” Gan Tang sighed softly. “As long as the world’s attention is focused on a woman’s chastity, whether with good intentions or bad, then for us, chastity is the greatest dignity.”
No one wants to be a weakling in need of pity, and no one is willing to abandon their dignity for the sake of survival.
Mo Huaixing couldn't utter another word of comfort. He suddenly hugged Gan Tang and pleaded, "I will do everything in my power to protect you. But if I fail to protect you, please, for the sake of those who love you, live on."
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